Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions

When to do Unity Sand Ceremony if not during vows?

FI and I really like the idea of a unity sand ceremony, however we don't want to do it while exhanging our vows. We prefer to be holding hands and looking at each other.
When is a good alternate time in the ceremony do it? FI is a bit worried people might get bored if nothing else is going on while we're doing the sand ceremony. I thought maybe doing it after the vows and just having the musicians play a song in the background.

Re: When to do Unity Sand Ceremony if not during vows?

  • I've never seen the sand ceremony done but I've seen the unity candle a ton of times and it was never during the vows.  The officiant says something about the significance and then the B&G light the candle.  Sometimes with music playing sometimes not.  I think the boredom sets in when you do something that takes a few seconds a minute at the most but then everyone sits there and you stand there waiting for a 5 minute song to end.  If you musicans could just play a few bars of something and cut it when you are done with the sand that would probably work.  As for the time your officiant probably has a time in mind to do it (if they have done weddings before and it isn't a friend who got ordained to marry you)
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  • I'v seen several Destin beach weddings with the sand unity done on the beach most do theirs at the very end of the ceremony, they have the couple fill a heart of glass bottle with the sand they stood on as a keepsake.Thats a sand unity on the beach.
  • I've never seen the sand ceremony done during the vows. Usually its right after. You can do it really whenever you want. Discuss it with your officiant
  • danieliza1127danieliza1127 member
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    edited July 2010
    It's not done during the vows.  It's done after the vows and exchange of rings.  After you do that, you walk over to your little table that is set up with the vases and do the sand ceremony, then you go back to the center and pretty much are pronounced husband and wife and kiss.

    You would have a song played while you do the sand.  Guests won't get bored, they'll be watching you and it only takes about a minute or two.

    Pics in married bio of ours.
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  • Any unity ceremony is done at a different time in the ceremony than the vows.  Generally it comes after the vows.

     When a couple in the church I'm the organist for has a unity ceremony (candles, sand, etc.) I generally recommend that they just have organ music in the background.  That's because I can tailor it to the length of the ceremony and the couple (and guests) aren't just awkwardly waiting for a vocal solo to end.  (I gracefully fade out the music as they finish lighting, pouring, etc.)

    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
  • Ok, well good to know. All the websites I had seen unity sand kits on also had ideas for vows to say while doing it, so that made me think that was the norm, but apparently not, haha. Thanks ladies!
  • The sand is after the vows/rings & yes, a song in the background while your doing it is nicer than silence (just make sure the mic isn't 'right beside you' (like it was for ours) or your guests will be hearing the 'clinging' of the tapers hitting the main jar as your pouring (we took turns to get the 'layered' look).

    There is the 'description' of what it means, we had a song in the background (Jim Brickman's 'Angel Eyes') that she started as we started to walk tward the table, the pastor read the 'description' then we poured followed by the mother's roses, she stretched the song through that entire part :)
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