I eloped, but i still want to have a wedding!

GoodLuckBear14 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_i-eloped-but-i-still-want-to-have-a-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:8136f908-050e-4841-82f3-fa2a8502b174Post:0f2ee274-90f3-4bcc-b6e6-e5ab43a667e0">Re: I eloped, but i still want to have a wedding!</a>:
[QUOTE]It's true it's nice to have ADVICE from people who have been through these things already but that's not the case on this site. Too many of the married ladies on this site like to tell the newbies it's my way or the highway. No two people are alike and therefore no two weddings will be alike. It's really that simple.
Posted by futuremrandmrsrioux[/QUOTE]

How are so many people still missing the point that OP is already married?!?!??!? She has been given a lot of advice of how to host a reception or when a vow renewal would be appropriate. What she cannot do unless she gets divorced is marry her husband again. This is not an opinion like "I think hot pink and lime green would be hideous colors for your wedding." This is a fact.

HobokensFury · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_i-eloped-but-i-still-want-to-have-a-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:8136f908-050e-4841-82f3-fa2a8502b174Post:0f2ee274-90f3-4bcc-b6e6-e5ab43a667e0">Re: I eloped, but i still want to have a wedding!</a>:
[QUOTE]It's true it's nice to have ADVICE from people who have been through these things already but that's not the case on this site. Too many of the married ladies on this site like to tell the newbies it's my way or the highway. No two people are alike and therefore no two weddings will be alike. It's really that simple.
Posted by futuremrandmrsrioux[/QUOTE]

Not even close. It's not our way or the highway. It's following proper etiquette. You either do or you don't. If you don't follow proper etiquette people will notice and judge even if they don't say it to your face. And why is it people woun't say it to your face? Etiquette! It applies to both hosting an event and how a guest should act. Trust us we didn't make this stuff up.

laurenoliveira23 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_i-eloped-but-i-still-want-to-have-a-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:8136f908-050e-4841-82f3-fa2a8502b174Post:b6d29c64-beed-4c04-9f55-0d6964b2b925">Re: I eloped, but i still want to have a wedding!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I eloped, but i still want to have a wedding! : Exactly! Why does everyone act like those of us who are already married pull this stuff out of our haggly butts just to crush the hopes and dreams of future brides? Guess what, WE had to follow these rules too. Many of us learned about them WHILE planning our wedding and had no clue before someone told us, just like you guys. And, yeah, it WAS pain sometimes and it WOULD have been easier to say "screw it, it's my day and I'll do what I want." But we didn't, because that isn't the right thing to do. And we all came out of the other side of it happier for it, which is why we are saying 'it may kind of suck now, but trust us, it's worth following etiquette."
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

i really have no opinion on the original post but i agree with this
theres been a couple times throughout my wedding planning so far ... and even in life where i just wanted to stay ugh screw them they're a***holes but then i thought it would just make life so much easier if we be polite and then the other person doesnt have any reason to say anything ... simple as that. i think its really lame that people are so judgemental and they'll go to weddings just to judge and "side eye" but thats clearly how society is.

ajmom2two · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_i-eloped-but-i-still-want-to-have-a-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:8136f908-050e-4841-82f3-fa2a8502b174Post:64e4a684-c5a2-427f-94cd-b7e81ab9c790">I eloped, but i still want to have a wedding!</a>:
[QUOTE]I got married in a court house February of this year, a few weeks after my daughter was born. We could not afford a wedding, nor did we have the time to plan one. I still really really want to have a ceremony/reception. I dont want a huge wedding, just our close friends and family, with a small 5k budget, i want to wear a dress, i want my dad to walk me down the isle, i want my daughter to be our flower girl. My venue is a beautiful old historic home in my city, But we are already married? Can i do a vow renewal or something? It won't be for another year or two if we do this. Any suggestions? Sincerely, A sad eloper
Posted by ashm42910[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>What changed in 3 months that you suddenly have $5000 to spend on a wedding, when you couldnt afford one and had to get married in February? Just have a big party to celebrate if you must do something. My FI and I thought about doing a JOP but I knew I wanted to have a wedding so we waited. Does it really matter though? You are already married to the man you love. Spend the 5k on a nice vacation or something and skip doing something super tacky - a do over wedding.

</div>

mes54 · May 2012

I think a renew or reception is fine, but not a second wedding. A friend of mine arranged a marriage ceremony that I was flying into town for, only to find out she had secretly gotten married 2 weeks before. I was hurt that she lied about it, especially since I was traveling to see her get married yet she already was.

gattamelata · May 2012

so if two people eloped secretly and quickly for a necessary reason (custody, immigration, whatever) then had the actual wedding several months later, this is considered the worst thing in the world? I just never would have though of being mad about that.

I know it's not the same thing but in Europe there are really strict laws about legal ceremonies so plenty of people I know get married legally at a courthouse then have the wedding in whatever country they want, sometimes days, sometimes months later. would you really be pissed about that?

GoodLuckBear14 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_i-eloped-but-i-still-want-to-have-a-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:8136f908-050e-4841-82f3-fa2a8502b174Post:e80e284a-753a-46d1-9dad-cf7ff1cc3a0b">Re: I eloped, but i still want to have a wedding!</a>:
[QUOTE]so if two people eloped secretly and quickly for a necessary reason (custody, immigration, whatever) then had the actual wedding several months later, this is considered the worst thing in the world? I just never would have though of being mad about that. I know it's not the same thing but in Europe there are really strict laws about legal ceremonies so plenty of people I know get married legally at a courthouse then have the wedding in whatever country they want, sometimes days, sometimes months later. would you really be pissed about that?
Posted by gattamelata[/QUOTE]

Uh, yeah. Happened to me when I was the best woman in my friend's wedding in Ireland. I found out right before the ceremony that they had gotten married in the US two weeks earlier. Pissed does not even begin to describe how I felt.

Also, in Europe religious ceremonies are not always legally binding, hence the civil ceremony and then the "wedding" that you see in some countries. That is not true in the US so it is not a fair comparison.

Lisa50 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_i-eloped-but-i-still-want-to-have-a-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:8136f908-050e-4841-82f3-fa2a8502b174Post:2440f10f-7725-4ed8-b237-ac0652bc3d63">Re: I eloped, but i still want to have a wedding!</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm just saying that I've seen it done before where two already married people get married at the church and throw a regular wedding reception. For some reason or another she couldn't have the traditional wedding that she wanted so she had to have the courthouse wedding. And if someone invited me to there wedding do-over I wouldn't side-eye a damn thing! Your inviting people to share this day with you because they couldn't share it with you the first time around, why would they criticize anything you do and if they don't like the idea of it then they aren't obligated to attend. I'm just saying that If you aren't completely happy with your wedding day then you have the right to change it. Of course your advice is very valuable because you've been there but there comes a point where the comments are just ment to be mean. There is a certain way of talking to people that doesn't make them feel ashamed and stupid.
Posted by JessicaPop[/QUOTE]

If someone is already married, pray tell, how can they get marred? If I just went through labor and childbirth, the baby is born. Done. I can't have that baby again. Aye, aye, aye!

Stefisme55 · May 2012

I think you should have your wedding!

There are differenct circumstances surrounding every situation. My husband, yes HUSBAND and I will be having our wedding in September.

We are both Military and are stationed in different states. For us to be stationed together we have to file paperwork that takes six-8 weeks to get approved and then have to wait for our current tours to sync up. We have had the date and venue booked for quite a while (since last December) and then I came on orders to leave and go to a different state. So in March we went to the courthouse and got Married to start the paperwork process. Now here it is May and we are just now hearing from HQ's about new assignments that put us together.

We are still doing a Wedidng in September. All our Family and Friends know we are married, and honestly this is common for Military, expecially dual Military. Our invitations are inviting people to join us at a "Celebration of our Marriage." There is nothing that says anything remotely similiar to "This day we join as one...etc.." The Military Chaplain that is preforming the ceremony is NOT pronouncing us as husband and wife but is just introducing "Mr. and Mrs. Lawless."

I am still wearing a dress and we are still having a full Military wedding because we WANT TOO and were originally planning it this way. If we hadnt of gotten married in March, we would be seperated for at least another 2 years, and I don't know about any of you, but if I dont have to spend 2 years apart then why should I? As it is with both of us being Military we spend enough time apart already!

If you want to have a wedding then HAVE A WEDDING!! Do NOT let anyone elses opinion affect your decision. My mother told me we were being stupid, I told her she didnt have to come, she quickly changed her mind!

GoodLuckBear14 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_i-eloped-but-i-still-want-to-have-a-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:8136f908-050e-4841-82f3-fa2a8502b174Post:94942879-dc97-469f-abdc-1cccd10e823c">Re: I eloped, but i still want to have a wedding!</a>:
[QUOTE]I think you should have your wedding! There are differenct circumstances surrounding every situation. My husband, yes HUSBAND and I will be having our wedding in September. We are both Military and are stationed in different states. For us to be stationed together we have to file paperwork that takes six-8 weeks to get approved and then have to wait for our current tours to sync up. We have had the date and venue booked for quite a while (since last December) and then I came on orders to leave and go to a different state. So in March we went to the courthouse and got Married to start the paperwork process. Now here it is May and we are just now hearing from HQ's about new assignments that put us together. We are still doing a Wedidng in September. All our Family and Friends know we are married, and honestly this is common for Military, expecially dual Military. Our invitations are inviting people to join us at a "Celebration of our Marriage." There is nothing that says anything remotely similiar to "This day we join as one...etc.." The Military Chaplain that is preforming the ceremony is NOT pronouncing us as husband and wife but is just introducing "Mr. and Mrs. Lawless." I am still wearing a dress and we are still having a full Military wedding because we WANT TOO and were originally planning it this way. If we hadnt of gotten married in March, we would be seperated for at least another 2 years, and I don't know about any of you, but if I dont have to spend 2 years apart then why should I? As it is with both of us being Military we spend enough time apart already! If you want to have a wedding then HAVE A WEDDING!! Do NOT let anyone elses opinion affect your decision. My mother told me we were being stupid, I told her she didnt have to come, she quickly changed her mind!
Posted by Stefisme55[/QUOTE]

Try running this post on the military brides boards or with the brass. They will agree with your mother.

Gabrielle76 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_i-eloped-but-i-still-want-to-have-a-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:8136f908-050e-4841-82f3-fa2a8502b174Post:94942879-dc97-469f-abdc-1cccd10e823c">Re: I eloped, but i still want to have a wedding!</a>:
[QUOTE]I think you should have your wedding! There are differenct circumstances surrounding every situation. My husband, yes HUSBAND and I will be having our wedding in September. We are both Military and are stationed in different states. For us to be stationed together we have to file paperwork that takes six-8 weeks to get approved and then have to wait for our current tours to sync up. We have had the date and venue booked for quite a while (since last December) and then I came on orders to leave and go to a different state. So in March we went to the courthouse and got Married to start the paperwork process. Now here it is May and we are just now hearing from HQ's about new assignments that put us together. We are still doing a Wedidng in September. All our Family and Friends know we are married, and honestly this is common for Military, expecially dual Military. Our invitations are inviting people to join us at a "Celebration of our Marriage." There is nothing that says anything remotely similiar to "This day we join as one...etc.." The Military Chaplain that is preforming the ceremony is NOT pronouncing us as husband and wife but is just introducing "Mr. and Mrs. Lawless." I am still wearing a dress and we are still having a full Military wedding because we WANT TOO and were originally planning it this way. If we hadnt of gotten married in March, we would be seperated for at least another 2 years, and I don't know about any of you, but if I dont have to spend 2 years apart then why should I? As it is with both of us being Military we spend enough time apart already! If you want to have a wedding then HAVE A WEDDING!! Do NOT let anyone elses opinion affect your decision. My mother told me we were being stupid, I told her she didnt have to come, she quickly changed her mind!
Posted by Stefisme55[/QUOTE]

No, you're not. He's your husband, so you aren't having a wedding, it's linguistically impossible. It sounds like a nice party though.

Stefisme55 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_i-eloped-but-i-still-want-to-have-a-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:8136f908-050e-4841-82f3-fa2a8502b174Post:8985eca8-9732-498d-be40-b98e00d05820">Re: I eloped, but i still want to have a wedding!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I eloped, but i still want to have a wedding! : Try running this post on the military brides boards or with the brass. They will agree with your mother.
Posted by GoodLuckBear14[/QUOTE]

I dont have to run this post on the military brides boards. I dont need some Military Wife to tell me whether im right or wrong. The point of the post was to let the original poster know its up to her to do whatever she wants. Not to incur criticism from people I dont know!

As for "Running it by the Brass"...no need. My husband and I are both OFFICERS!! The Best Man is what you would consider "Brass"! My Commander will be there, I assure you this is not "unheard of" in the Military Community, specifically due to Deployments (which we have both had several of)!

Again, I was just posting my story in order to let the original poster know that they were not wrong, in my opinion, for wanting to have a Wedding.

And Yea I may already be married and in most of your opinions have already had my "Wedding," But the definition of a Wedding is a celebration of Marriage, which is what we will be having!

So say what you want, but just like my Mother, your opinion does not affect our decision!

FaithCaitlin · May 2012

Ditto the ladies who say that you already had a wedding and to move on.

Sorry.

and sheesh, some fiesty newbies!

Stefisme55 · May 2012

My post was not meant to be fiesty and I apologize if it came off that way.

Basically what I was trying to convey to the original Post-er is that she can do whatever she wants and to not let others opinions affect her decision!

All that matters is that her and her H, just as myself and my H, consider that day a "Wedding." Because in twenty years when they look back on that special day, they are only going to remember the look on each others faces, thier first "official" dance as a married couple, and the wonderful family and friends that accepted them and came to join in the celebration with them, they are not going to remember criticism and opposition recieved by those that didnt agree!

Proper Etiquette or not, bla..who cares, its 2012!!! Everybody can marry Everybody these days...so im having 2 weddings =]

gattamelata · May 2012

wow, I can't believe people are telling a woman on active duty military that, tough luck, she can't have a wedding. Sometimes in life we have to bend the rules. I'm happy for all of you that you got your perfect dream wedding the first time around but life can be more complicated than that.

Stefisme55 - congrats and I hope your wedding awesome!

OBX2011 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_i-eloped-but-i-still-want-to-have-a-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:8136f908-050e-4841-82f3-fa2a8502b174Post:5a3e629f-df75-4cf1-843e-0d4267d2b9a7">Re: I eloped, but i still want to have a wedding!</a>:
[QUOTE]My post was not meant to be fiesty and I apologize if it came off that way. Basically what I was trying to convey to the original Post-er is that she can do whatever she wants and to not let others opinions affect her decision! All that matters is that her and her H, just as myself and my H, consider that day a "Wedding." Because in twenty years when they look back on that special day, they are only going to remember the look on each others faces, thier first "official" dance as a married couple, and the wonderful family and friends that accepted them and came to join in the celebration with them, they are not going to remember criticism and opposition recieved by those that didnt agree! Proper Etiquette or not, bla..who cares, its 2012!!! Everybody can marry Everybody these days...so im having 2 weddings =]
Posted by Stefisme55[/QUOTE]

Ummmmm, no they cannot. If that were the case, Amendment One would not have passed last week in NC.

No, you already had your wedding. What you are having is a celebration. Two very different things.

And FTR, this is what marriage is:

1. <div class="dndata"><div class="luna-Nested">a. <div class="dndata">the social institution under <a href="http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/which" rel="nofollow">which</a> a man and woman establish their <a href="http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/decision" rel="nofollow">decision</a> to live as husband and wife by legal commitments, religious ceremonies, etc. Antonyms: separation. </div></div><div class="luna-Nested">b. <div class="dndata">a similar institution involving partners of the same gender: gay marriage. Antonyms: separation. </div></div></div><div class="luna-Ent">2. <div class="dndata">the state, condition, or relationship of being married; wedlock: a happy marriage. Synonyms: matrimony. Antonyms: single life, bachelorhood, spinsterhood, singleness; separation. </div></div><div class="luna-Ent">3. <div class="dndata">the legal or religious ceremony that formalizes the decision of two people to live as a married couple, including the accompanying social festivities: to officiate at a marriage. Synonyms: nuptials, marriage ceremony, wedding. Antonyms: divorce, annulment. </div></div><div class="luna-Ent">4. <div class="dndata">a relationship in which two people have pledged themselves to each other in the manner of a husband and wife, without legal sanction: trial marriage. </div></div>
You legally took your vows and the state legally recognized it, so you ARE in fact married. Don't confuse the two.

Stefisme55 · May 2012

OBX:

First of all...GEEZ with the hostility!! Im not judging you on your decisions and/or opinions!

Second of all...I never once denied I was married!! While thier are plenty of definitions of a Wedding..one of them is a Celebration of Marriage, which is what i'm having!! Please acurately read previous post before deciding to school me on the definition of Marriage. I am well aware of what I am doing and what I have done. I have not made it this far in my life by being stupid, so please dont treat me as such!

And while Amendment whatever passed in NC, thats not the case in some states and or countries and I dont even what to get involved, I was just throwing that out there as an example!!

prymar08 · May 2012

To all of you who think that it is bad etiquette for her to do this: have any of you even questioned why it is unacceptable, or are you merely being strong willed in your mindsetbecause it doesn't happen to be "traditional"? Where are the rules that state that in your life you are only allowed one "ceremony" with the same person?

She should do what she wants. Who cares what tradition is.

Annas2013 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_i-eloped-but-i-still-want-to-have-a-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:8136f908-050e-4841-82f3-fa2a8502b174Post:38c08bad-507d-440e-b030-d416d2317bd5">Re: I eloped, but i still want to have a wedding!</a>:
[QUOTE]To all of you who think that it is bad etiquette for her to do this: have any of you even questioned why it is unacceptable, or are you merely being strong willed in your mindsetbecause it doesn't happen to be "traditional"? Where are the rules that state that in your life you are only allowed one "ceremony" with the same person? She should do what she wants. Who cares what tradition is.
Posted by prymar08[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div> Tradition and etiquette are two different things. Traditions don't necessarily have to be followed, like having a first dance or a garter toss. Etiquette should be. It's being a good host and treating your guests well. And what the original PP wanted to do, seemed like she wanted to have a wedding and not tell any of the guests she and her husband were already married. That's lying to everyone in attendance. </div><div> The above pp who is in the military may call her celebration a marriage, but openly admits that she and her husband are already married. And due to the unique situation as much as it may be wrong to some people, I can kind of understand where she's coming from. </div><div> This seemed to have turned into more of people just arguing over the same point rather than anything else, since the OP hasn't even replied recently. </div><div>
</div>

OBX2011 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_i-eloped-but-i-still-want-to-have-a-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:8136f908-050e-4841-82f3-fa2a8502b174Post:2f92cbeb-eeae-4fb2-9185-86d1c7807465">Re: I eloped, but i still want to have a wedding!</a>:
[QUOTE]OBX: First of all...GEEZ with the hostility!! Im not judging you on your decisions and/or opinions! Second of all...I never once denied I was married!! While thier are plenty of definitions of a Wedding..one of them is a Celebration of Marriage, which is what i'm having!! Please acurately read previous post before deciding to school me on the definition of Marriage. I am well aware of what I am doing and what I have done. I have not made it this far in my life by being stupid, so please dont treat me as such! And while Amendment whatever passed in NC, thats not the case in some states and or countries and I dont even what to get involved, I was just throwing that out there as an example!!
Posted by Stefisme55[/QUOTE]

You're the one using all of the exclamation points, so who's being hostile again? You are very defensive about this. I don't need to be judged, as I had ONE wedding.....ONE! And I clearly know how to read so don't be a smartass mmmkay?

And nobody treated you as being stupid. You said that, not me ;)

You clearly made a point that everybody can marry everybody these days and I corrected you. So maybe YOU shouldn't make statements when you don't know what you are talking about.

Regardless, you are entitled to your opinion and I am entitled to mine.

ETA: It was in fact YOUR mother that said you were being stupid, so there's that.

iloveu4ever · May 2012

Go ahead renew your vows. At least wait a year or so.

Stefisme55 · May 2012

Oh my goodness....these post went completely the wrong way! (also I use exclamation marks quite often, its habit and by no means is supposed to be disrespectful).

As stated before I was just trying to relay to the original post-er that she should do what she and her husband felt what was right and to not let others opinions affect her decision!

OBX: Congrats on your one marriage and one wedding, good for you! Unfortunately due to circumstances surrounding the nature of both mine and his profession that wasnt an option for us. However just an FYI...my brother and his husband were married last year in New Hampshire and currently live in Maryland, which recognizes thier marriage...so yea people can pretty much marry whoever they want! Maybe I do seem a little defensive, I just don't understand how a website designed for Brides to plan thier perfect day can be full of such judgemental people.

GoodLuckBear14 · May 2012

Stefisme, here is what it boils down to. If you are already married, you cannot get married again unless you divorce. That is not etiquette, that is not tradition, that is a legal fact.

Vow renewals on a milestone anniversary or reception celebrating the JOP are fine. These pretend do over weddings are not.

And one more legal tidbit for you - DOMA makes sure that gay marriages are not legal everywhere. If your brother moved from Maryland to Pennsylvania or about forty other states, his marriage would not be recognized so no, people cannot marry pretty much whomever they want.

Stefisme55 · May 2012

You ladies are so so so judgemental!!

GoodLuckBear14 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_i-eloped-but-i-still-want-to-have-a-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:8136f908-050e-4841-82f3-fa2a8502b174Post:fae59198-ebe0-43fc-b0be-62d7815e7df2">Re: I eloped, but i still want to have a wedding!</a>:
[QUOTE]You ladies are so so so judgemental!!
Posted by Stefisme55[/QUOTE]

Legal facts are judgmental???

OBX2011 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_i-eloped-but-i-still-want-to-have-a-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:8136f908-050e-4841-82f3-fa2a8502b174Post:b37c7092-7d1c-46ff-a560-8fa863d399d8">Re: I eloped, but i still want to have a wedding!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I eloped, but i still want to have a wedding! : Legal facts are judgmental???
Posted by GoodLuckBear14[/QUOTE]

That's exactly what I was thinking.

I am envisioning a 5 year old stomping her foot.....

Stefisme55 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_i-eloped-but-i-still-want-to-have-a-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:8136f908-050e-4841-82f3-fa2a8502b174Post:3275444f-edb1-45f5-9c1e-30cc3e95d3c8">Re: I eloped, but i still want to have a wedding!</a>:
[QUOTE]Stefisme, I'm not sure which offends me more. Your BS military excuse and overstatements that are fictional ("Unfortunately due to circumstances surrounding the nature of both mine and his profession that wasnt an option for us.") or your complete and total insensitivity to the plight of the LGBT community here in the United States. Either way, I think you're rather pathetic.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

WHOA Seriously??

First let me just say I am not insesitive to the LGBT community. I am 100% supportive of them so im not sure what your refering to. Secondly my "BS military excuse and overstatements that are fictional?" How do you have any right to say that. You have no idea whether or not my statements are fictional or not. If you refer back to my original post I stated that we were facing several years seperated unless we got the paperwork started to be stationed together. This is the Married Army's Couple Paperwork. As it was we had already booked the Venue and paid several deposits for the wedding in September. Then, shortly after returning from Afghanistan, I got put on a 9 month assignment. The assignment ends in October and from there I had a forwarding assignment to Fort Lewis, Washington. My husband is currently on Assignment to Fort Polk until 2014. We had to start the paperwork immediately to have my assisgnment changed to Fort Polk from Fort Lewis. If we would have continued with the original date and done everything at once (it is a 2-3 month process) I would have gone to Fort Lewis and would have to have waited 2 years for him to show up. Thats why we jumped the gun and went to the courthouse.

I think there is some confusion on here. I by no means think I am "Getting Married" again. I am Married. However, I consider a wedding as a "Celebration of Marriage." Our invites even state that you are being invited to a Celebration of the Marriage of Stefanie and Dan Lawless! All our guest are aware that we are already married. However, we would still like to experience the traditional wedding day. Not us leaning over a counter signing a piece of paper listening to some old man mumble a bunch of mumbo jumbo and us nodding our head in agreement. We didnt say Vows or anything. All we did was the paperwork to officially Marry us. Everything else will be done in September.

Being Military ive missed out on so much stuff, Christmas, Birthdays, goodbyes to ailing grandparents, siblings weddings, etc... This is one thing that we were just not willing to have to miss out on. It may not be proper etiquette or traditional in anyway, but most things in our lives (H and mine) arent done based on tradition so its not as important to us. Whats important to us is that we share a special day with family and friends with pictures we can show future children and grandkids. Were not doing it to be greedy, were not asking for gifts or anything like that, were not having our parents pay for anything.

I originally posted to inform the originater of this thread that she could do whatever she wanted, it was up to her. I did not intend for this to turn into what it did and apologize for whomever I may have irritated along the way but I will admit that I do feel very strongly about our decision, regardless of whether it is the proper way or not. In our minds....its perfect =]

Stefisme55 · May 2012

Haha....I find people like you who continue to hang around a website meant for people planning a wedding, not people they had one years ago, quite pathetic. You obviously have nothing better to do with your time then to spread your self righteous views in a forum you don't really have any business being in. You must have an amazing life. Go ahead judge me all you want, I won't be reading anymore post from this thread, I'm no longer bored at work and def have much more important things to do.

GoodLuckBear14 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_i-eloped-but-i-still-want-to-have-a-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:8136f908-050e-4841-82f3-fa2a8502b174Post:ab23b358-f133-4498-b13c-1166f41fb0de">Re: I eloped, but i still want to have a wedding!</a>:
[QUOTE]Haha....I find people like you who continue to hang around a website meant for people planning a wedding, not people they had one years ago, quite pathetic. You obviously have nothing better to do with your time then to spread your self righteous views in a forum you don't really have any business being in. You must have an amazing life. Go ahead judge me all you want, I won't be reading anymore post from this thread, I'm no longer bored at work and def have much more important things to do.
Posted by Stefisme55[/QUOTE]

So happy for you that you are no longer bored at work. btw - the reason we stuck around is because the married women helped us get through our wedding planning by calling us on our BS and telling us what was and wasn't worth stressing over. You'll find that most of the regs here are the ones paying it forward.

JoanE2012 · May 2012

Didn't anyone ever tell you you can't have your cake and eat it too?

I eloped, but i still want to have a wedding!

Re: I eloped, but i still want to have a wedding!

Choose Another Board

Search Boards