Eye Opener

Wrkn925

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_eye-opener?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:1a69f563-d38b-4827-997a-caa7ac431d7aPost:fc84482b-7210-47d1-aaed-7491163af542">Re: Eye Opener</a>:
[QUOTE]We had a timeline - we wanted to wait until 6 months to a year after getting married to start TTC and I got pregnant on our 1 year anniversary. We're still decided when we're going to TTC after this one is born - I want to wait about a year but DH is thinking we should start trying earlier than that. Either way we don't want a large age gap between kids.
Posted by sapphirebaby926[/QUOTE]

My gap rule is that gestation must not overlap potty-training.

(No more that one kid in diapers at a time.)

PaigeMcC

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_eye-opener?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:1a69f563-d38b-4827-997a-caa7ac431d7aPost:480c45ce-6a9e-480e-9e5e-7eeb864c2a2c">Re: Eye Opener</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Eye Opener : My gap rule is that gestation must not overlap potty-training. (No more that one kid in diapers at a time.)
Posted by Wrkn925[/QUOTE]

Good rule!!

Wrkn925

Sapphire, is it tomorrow that you find out the sex of the baby?

Will we have a big reveal?

I'm super-excited!

sapphirebaby926

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_eye-opener?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:1a69f563-d38b-4827-997a-caa7ac431d7aPost:8ee3c21d-96ec-48ea-bff6-773741f145fd">Re: Eye Opener</a>:
[QUOTE]Sapphire, is it tomorrow that you find out the sex of the baby? Will we have a big reveal? I'm super-excited!
Posted by Wrkn925[/QUOTE]

Yes it's tomorrow! I'm very excited : )

Hazel_B

Ember - I'm in the same boat as you.

Audgie - That's my fear, those 2 years are going to fly bye.

Elle1036

FI has been talking more and more about kids lately, which worries me a little becuase I'm with Marley and JMM in the "no babies, please" camp.

I LOVE children and I'm really good with kids, but for some reason, the thought of actually going through a pregnancy makes me really uncomfortable.  Maybe I'll change my mind in a few years (like, after FI finishes med school).  Rather than have biological children, though, I think I want to foster and possibly adopt.

I don't know, but I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm not in a hurry to make a decision.

PaigeMcC

Y'all don't need kids.  I'm trying to convince FBD we need to have 5.  You can come play with our herd.

Hazel_B

Paige - I love that you call them a herd

skyler1108

Hmmm.... I would like to have our first child before I am 30. Since I will turn 24 about 5 days after we get married that leaves about 4-5 years before latest would should start trying. That still seems like a long ways away but it really hit home when FI said that the new car he wants to get at the end of the year needs to be one that he can put a car seat in the back of. That was weird.

PaigeMcC

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_eye-opener?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:1a69f563-d38b-4827-997a-caa7ac431d7aPost:4debe124-22e9-456c-8254-d8c1407b1823">Re: Eye Opener</a>:
[QUOTE]Paige - I love that you call them a herd :)
Posted by Hazel_B[/QUOTE]

It was either that or a pack. And a herd of kids sounds less scary than a pack. lol

Hazel_B

Skyler - We've gotten around the car seat thing because of the dog. Since we have a large dog we needed a vehicle that has the space for him, so we already have the room for a car seat.

Although I do have a friend whose DH wants a 2 door car and he's already done the research to make sure he can get a baby in and out of it. It's pretty funny.

Elle1036

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_eye-opener?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:1a69f563-d38b-4827-997a-caa7ac431d7aPost:0ea5290d-b0db-4fb4-8830-6276f5596a5d">Re: Eye Opener</a>:
[QUOTE]Y'all don't need kids.  I'm trying to convince FBD we need to have 5.  You can come play with our herd.
Posted by PaigeMcC[/QUOTE]

Works for me.  I find that having the option to give them back really contributes to my love of kids.

Wrkn925

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_eye-opener?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:1a69f563-d38b-4827-997a-caa7ac431d7aPost:95e36cd8-d7c9-4120-a573-693339622432">Re: Eye Opener</a>:
[QUOTE]Skyler - We've gotten around the car seat thing because of the dog. Since we have a large dog we needed a vehicle that has the space for him, so we already have the room for a car seat. Although I do have a friend whose DH wants a 2 door car and <strong>he's already done the research to make sure he can get a baby in and out of it. It's pretty funny.
</strong>Posted by Hazel_B[/QUOTE]

Does his research include getting it in and out twice a day for a few months?

Hazel_B

Apparently his coworker has the same car, complete with carseat. The male coworker says it is "no problem". So, this is enough research for him. My friend has told him, that's fine if you want that car but you need to deal with the children and the car because I refuse (she has her own car).

heyimbren

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_eye-opener?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:1a69f563-d38b-4827-997a-caa7ac431d7aPost:2722fe59-53a8-412a-93d1-270f0b36e281">Re: Eye Opener</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Eye Opener : Does his research include getting it in and out twice a day for a few months?
Posted by Wrkn925[/QUOTE]

Are you being dirty again or is it just me?

Paige, I told BF the minimum is 4. He told me his minimum is 1. But then he said he really wants a boy so he's game to keep trying until he has one.

SenoritaCupcake

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_eye-opener?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:1a69f563-d38b-4827-997a-caa7ac431d7aPost:41f741b7-cc4f-4acd-901e-3092a2d33740">Re: Eye Opener</a>:
[QUOTE]When BF and I talk about it, it's very general. He'd like to have a baby probably by the time he's 30. He isn't stuck on that, it's just a general timeline. I'm 2 years younger so that makes me 28. I'd be okay with TTC a couple years earlier than that, but no earlier than 26. I used to want kids young, like wayyy young (early 20s). And then I realized just a few months ago that I won't even be all done school until I'm just about 26. <strong>Sometimes I feel like school controls my life too much and I find THAT overwhelming.</strong>
Posted by heyimbren[/QUOTE]

I know exactly how you feel Bren. We won't be able to start thinking about kids until I'm in my chief residency (7 years from now) at which point we'll both be 30, and may even have to wait until after my fellowship (10 years from  now). I'm going into pediatrics for a reason, I love kids, and yet my career choice is the reason I have to wait so long to have them. Otherwise I know we would want kids by at least like 27. Boo med school.

PaigeMcC

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_eye-opener?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:1a69f563-d38b-4827-997a-caa7ac431d7aPost:7d0c1ff8-517e-44ac-8897-499b3ffe8ec7">Re: Eye Opener</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Eye Opener : Are you being dirty again or is it just me? Paige, I told BF the <strong>minimum is 4</strong>. He told me his minimum is 1. But then he said he really wants a boy so <strong>he's game to keep trying until he has one</strong>.
Posted by heyimbren[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Should we be telling the American's of our reproductive plans?  They might catch on to our "breed a new army" strategy;)</div><div>
</div><div>Andplusalso: I hope we have boys.  I want more than one.  hehe</div>

luvdncn90

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_eye-opener?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:1a69f563-d38b-4827-997a-caa7ac431d7aPost:56cf0761-79b9-4d21-ae46-b61eb53605d9">Re: Eye Opener</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Eye Opener : This! Okay, I have a confession: I've never had any desire to have children. I don't know if that will change as the clock starts ticking or not. Or maybe when I get past a couple hurdles career-wise and in regards to family issues. I don't know. But right now...zero baby fever. I'm weird--it's a fact.
Posted by marleylikeair[/QUOTE]

I am the exact same way. I have no desires to have children. But that all may change because after all I am only 20, BF and I have discussed having children but not for like 5 years after we get married. So right now I'm looking at 8 years until we even start talking about it.

Maybe that'll be enough time for me to change my mind about kids.

mana8503

Bf has 2 kids and we are "fighting" over how many we want. 

I want 3, but will be willing to go down to 2 and a puppy.  He said if I have twins (runs in my family) that's it.  So now I'm trying to get him to agree me being pregnant twice... it's more of a running joke.

Hazel_B

mana - What if you have one baby and then on your second pregnancy you have twins...that'd get you the 3 you want.

heyimbren

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_eye-opener?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:1a69f563-d38b-4827-997a-caa7ac431d7aPost:0c70d9d5-0055-4cbb-8efd-7671e36bc62c">Re: Eye Opener</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Eye Opener : I know exactly how you feel Bren. We won't be able to start thinking about kids until I'm in my chief residency (7 years from now) at which point we'll both be 30, and may even have to wait until after my fellowship (10 years from  now). I'm going into pediatrics for a reason, I love kids, and yet my career choice is the reason I have to wait so long to have them. Otherwise I know we would want kids by at least like 27. Boo med school.
Posted by SenoritaCupcake[/QUOTE]

Exactly, SC. It's complicated. I would love to be a SAHM for the first couple years (as they're babies) so I keep wondering if it's even worth starting "my career" if I'll just be having babies fairly soon (hopefully). I'm trying not to worry about that now since I still have a few more years.

AudgiePodge

Twins run in my family also. I have two older sisters that are twins. A younger brother and sister that are twins. My mom has twin uncles. And I was pregnant with twins. It's crazy.

I only want girls. Those also run in my family. FI wants a boy. They run in his. I'm curious to see what we have.

marleylikeair

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_eye-opener?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:1a69f563-d38b-4827-997a-caa7ac431d7aPost:aa2fc573-5d09-412b-9b18-ac1ba689ba54">Re: Eye Opener</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Eye Opener : Exactly, SC. It's complicated. I would love to be a SAHM for the first couple years (as they're babies) so I keep wondering if it's even worth starting "my career" if I'll just be having babies fairly soon (hopefully). I'm trying not to worry about that now since I still have a few more years.
Posted by heyimbren[/QUOTE]

Bren, FWIW, I think you absolutely should start your career first! It's going to be a lot easier getting back into the workforce if you have some experience and not just a degree to fall back on. Plus, once you're out of school, things in your life can really look different. Give yourself a little time to adjust and just be living and working, post-school, before you make the babies. Seriously. That's what I think.

mana8503

Hazel - that's my evil plan! 

Audgie - Oh wow now that's insane.  My gma had twins (they didn't survive) and she said it skips a generation.  So every time a grandkid gets KU we all wait for to hear it's it's 1 or 2.  No twinsies yet.

cu97tiger

<div align="left">In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_eye-opener?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:1a69f563-d38b-4827-997a-caa7ac431d7aPost:7f5d55de-0297-4a63-a5ab-62c8e813ed6f">Re: Eye Opener</a>:
[QUOTE]BF and I aren't even engaged yet...so no. But, he has mentioned that he would want to be married for at least a year before we started trying. I agree with him - <strong>I think it's important to be married for a little while before starting a family</strong>. It takes time to adjust to thinking as one instead of two, and why rush?
Posted by allusive007[/QUOTE]

This... but I'm 35 and will most likely be 36 by the time we get engaged and married. My gyno already told me I should start trying when I'm 37. I'd really like to wait until we've been married two years, but we're going to play it by ear. Lately, BF has started smiling at cute little toddlers. Over the last year we've randomly talked about baby names but have been far apart on every one. I like older, vintage-y names, and he has liked some really random ones (like 'Ocean'). But the other day he threw out a name that I love. It could be a boys name or a girls name, so that's exciting!</div>

jemmini6

I have FIVE baby shower invites on my fridge right now...no joke.  I think that's more than enough babies to satiate the baby fever for quite a while.  LOL

FI and I are both on the same page as far as children go.  We know we want them, but we don't want to lock ourselves into a set timeline.  We are going to get married, enjoy married life for a while and when we feel like having kids, we will.  It makes it easy to not have a timeline because we don't have any other 'goals' to meet...we're done with school, have careers (well...he does, I have a job for now), we have a house, etc...so really, once we get married we'd have free range.  I just don't want to lock ourselves into saying "we will be married for 4 years before we start TTC" and then want kids after 3 years....

Wrkn925

I thought the thing about twins being genetic was false....  it all has to do with how many eggs your ovaries release at a time.

Anywho...  BF has sisters who are twins.  I have a couple of sets of cousins.

We had a family friend who basically had batches, it was like a fertility pyramid.

She had one boy,
Then had twins-boy and girl
Then had triplets-all girls

THEN, got divorced, remarried...

And had another set of twins.

That's 8 kids in four pregnancies. She didn't even get her own TLC special.

SeaTea02

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_eye-opener?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:1a69f563-d38b-4827-997a-caa7ac431d7aPost:0a606640-2b52-43d1-82f1-18a58bd85609">Re: Eye Opener</a>:
[QUOTE]Twins run in my family also. I have two older sisters that are twins. A younger brother and sister that are twins. My mom has twin uncles. And I was pregnant with twins. It's crazy. I only want girls. Those also run in my family. FI wants a boy. They run in his. I'm curious to see what we have.
Posted by AudgiePodge[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>The sex is determined by the father. Women don't have a Y chromosome to give. </div><div>
</div><div>And I think the genetics of twins runs on the mothers side if they are fraternal and the fathers identical.... don't quote me on that. I'll try and look it up. 

</div>

AudgiePodge

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_eye-opener?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:1a69f563-d38b-4827-997a-caa7ac431d7aPost:4634cba1-d9e8-495b-9529-08baca83ca5e">Re: Eye Opener</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Eye Opener : The sex is determined by the father. Women don't have a Y chromosome to give.  And I think the genetics of twins runs on the mothers side if they are fraternal and the fathers identical.... don't quote me on that. I'll try and look it up. 
Posted by SeaTea02[/QUOTE]

<div>I just like to think of it as "magic"</div>

Wrkn925

I is wrong.

http://en.allexperts.com/q/Genetics-1795/chances-twins-1.htm