Eye Opener

mana8503 · February 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_eye-opener?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:1a69f563-d38b-4827-997a-caa7ac431d7aPost:4634cba1-d9e8-495b-9529-08baca83ca5e">Re: Eye Opener</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Eye Opener : The sex is determined by the father. Women don't have a Y chromosome to give. And I think the genetics of twins runs on the mothers side if they are fraternal and the fathers identical.... don't quote me on that. I'll try and look it up.
Posted by SeaTea02[/QUOTE]

Yep, not identical is from 2 eggs, identical is from the egg splitting into 2 babies (thus sharing DNA). I always forget what fraternal means... so I stick to identical...

niknik15 · February 2011

So, I literally just found out my cousin is having twins. EEEkkkk! He definitely was not meant to have kids. But anyways, my grandma had three sets of twins, my dad being one of them. Although, only one kid lived from each set. Does that mean I have a decent possibility of having twins? I kinda hope not.

Wrkn925 · February 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_eye-opener?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:1a69f563-d38b-4827-997a-caa7ac431d7aPost:a5f3be0f-37af-43a4-b01c-2cc44872d8d4">Re: Eye Opener</a>:
[QUOTE]So, I literally just found out my cousin is having twins. EEEkkkk! He definitely was not meant to have kids. But anyways, my grandma had three sets of twins, my dad being one of them. Although, only one kid lived from each set. Does that mean I have a decent possibility of having twins? I kinda hope not.
Posted by niknik15[/QUOTE]

Not according to that link. It's only passed maternally, so it stopped at your dad.

Well, unless he has ovaries.

SenoritaCupcake · February 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_eye-opener?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:1a69f563-d38b-4827-997a-caa7ac431d7aPost:aa2fc573-5d09-412b-9b18-ac1ba689ba54">Re: Eye Opener</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Eye Opener : Exactly, SC. It's complicated. I would love to be a SAHM for the first couple years (as they're babies) so I keep wondering if it's even worth starting "my career" if I'll just be having babies fairly soon (hopefully). I'm trying not to worry about that now since I still have a few more years.
Posted by heyimbren[/QUOTE]

I agree with Marley's advice and remember there's always another option. In our case, BF is going to be the stay at home dad for the first few years so I'm free to career away (and he still fixes our cars and kills the spiders....win). Isn't gender equality great?

And Audgie, Genetics IS magical !

jemmini6 · February 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_eye-opener?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:1a69f563-d38b-4827-997a-caa7ac431d7aPost:89775894-5cae-4a1d-bf50-6a9ee6885209">Re: Eye Opener</a>:
[QUOTE]I is wrong. <a href="http://en.allexperts.com/q/Genetics-1795/chances-twins-1.htm" rel='nofollow'>http://en.allexperts.com/q/Genetics-1795/chances-twins-1.htm</a>
Posted by Wrkn925[/QUOTE]

Boo! I don't want twins! It runs pretty heavily in the women on my mom's side of the family. My mom was a fraternal twin, my granmother's mom was a fraternal twin (that's keeping the 'skipping a generation' thing alive too) and my mom has a few cousins who had fraternal twins. :(

FI and I only want 2 children, so my luck would be to have one and then have twins...lol. Of course I'd still be happy with that as long as they were all healthy (I had an uncle with Down's syndrome...although I loved him to pieces, I still would not want that for my children)

heyimbren · February 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_eye-opener?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:1a69f563-d38b-4827-997a-caa7ac431d7aPost:fb2eaa89-da41-4e76-a30d-9b16829ef23b">Re: Eye Opener</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Eye Opener : Bren, FWIW, I think you absolutely should start your career first! It's going to be a lot easier getting back into the workforce if you have some experience and not just a degree to fall back on. Plus, once you're out of school, things in your life can really look different. Give yourself a little time to adjust and just be living and working, post-school, before you make the babies. Seriously. That's what I think.
Posted by marleylikeair[/QUOTE]

Oh, I know I COULD make it work. But I think I'd rather be a SAHM than have my career. That's what I personally want, not what anyone else wants for me. Plus, I'm worried this might hurt my career since I just want to be a lawyer in a small firm. Maternity leave is hard enough as a lawyer, let alone wanting to just stop working in the middle of it for a little while. But like I said, it's something to consider. I find it very freeing that I can choose to work or stay at home. BF wouldn't want to stay at home, and I'm okay with that. Either way, I don't need to worry about it now at all.

niknik15 · February 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_eye-opener?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:1a69f563-d38b-4827-997a-caa7ac431d7aPost:2487689f-cd58-4edc-888f-a00d779b5260">Re: Eye Opener</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Eye Opener : Not according to that link. It's only passed maternally, so it stopped at your dad. Well, unless he has ovaries.
Posted by Wrkn925[/QUOTE]

Sweet! And no, no ovaries.

marleylikeair · February 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_eye-opener?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:1a69f563-d38b-4827-997a-caa7ac431d7aPost:e2070ad4-f369-4068-bba9-94b0038f5302">Re: Eye Opener</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Eye Opener : Oh, I know I COULD make it work. But I think I'd rather be a SAHM than have my career. That's what I personally want, not what anyone else wants for me. Plus, I'm worried this might hurt my career since I just want to be a lawyer in a small firm. Maternity leave is hard enough as a lawyer, let alone wanting to just stop working in the middle of it for a little while. But like I said, it's something to consider. I find it very freeing that I can choose to work or stay at home. BF wouldn't want to stay at home, and I'm okay with that. Either way, I don't need to worry about it now at all.
Posted by heyimbren[/QUOTE]

Ahh, decisions. I see what you mean about leave/stopping working. If it were me, I'd still work first. But since you say you'd rather be a SAHM than have your career, hey, awesome. I'm the opposite. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I respect your decision either way!

heyimbren · February 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_eye-opener?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:1a69f563-d38b-4827-997a-caa7ac431d7aPost:002ea68d-7918-4b02-b7d1-1c171e6ed9af">Re: Eye Opener</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Eye Opener : Ahh, decisions. I see what you mean about leave/stopping working. If it were me, I'd still work first. But since you say you'd rather be a SAHM than have your career, hey, awesome. I'm the opposite. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I respect your decision either way!
Posted by marleylikeair[/QUOTE]

Thanks :) Realistically I'll probably end up working because you never know how long TTC will take, and that extra money would be nice especially with wanting to have a baby. But I like having options.

bethsmiles · February 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_eye-opener?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:1a69f563-d38b-4827-997a-caa7ac431d7aPost:e2070ad4-f369-4068-bba9-94b0038f5302">Re: Eye Opener</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Eye Opener : Oh, I know I COULD make it work. But I think I'd rather be a SAHM than have my career. That's what I personally want, not what anyone else wants for me. Plus, I'm worried this might hurt my career since I just want to be a lawyer in a small firm. Maternity leave is hard enough as a lawyer, let alone wanting to just stop working in the middle of it for a little while. But like I said, it's something to consider. I find it very freeing that I can choose to work or stay at home. BF wouldn't want to stay at home, and I'm okay with that. Either way, I don't need to worry about it now at all.
Posted by heyimbren[/QUOTE]

I really want to be a SAHM. My friends think its old fashioned but I'm into traditional gender roles. It works well for BF and I. I think BF would stay home though if I still wanted to work.

PaigeMcC · February 2011

FBD and I agreed that I could be a SAHM,as long as it's financially doablem for the first few years until our youngest is 2 or 3. Each child will be going to daycare from 3 on because I really believe in the benefits of daycare, but that's another discussion. I don't think I could be a SAHM forever but I like the idea of taking time off, maybe just doing some freelancing, and raising my kids. I feel after they get sent to daycare I need to work again, though. I enjoy my profession and I wouldn't want to leave it forever. Besides, I have expensive trips to go on and hot tubs to buy.

marleylikeair · February 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_eye-opener?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:1a69f563-d38b-4827-997a-caa7ac431d7aPost:7a86a88c-9584-4ecf-9dd5-03e52857a759">Re: Eye Opener</a>:
[QUOTE]FBD and I agreed that I could be a SAHM,as long as it's financially doablem for the first few years until our youngest is 2 or 3. Each child will be going to daycare from 3 on because I really believe in the benefits of daycare, but that's another discussion. I don't think I could be a SAHM forever but I like the idea of taking time off, maybe just doing some freelancing, and raising my kids. I feel after they get sent to daycare I need to work again, though. I enjoy my profession and I wouldn't want to leave it forever. Besides, I have expensive trips to go on and hot tubs to buy.
Posted by PaigeMcC[/QUOTE]

WIN.

marleylikeair · February 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_eye-opener?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:1a69f563-d38b-4827-997a-caa7ac431d7aPost:d01f5176-ebe7-45be-87b6-0167fc3fb66c">Re: Eye Opener</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Eye Opener : Thanks :) Realistically I'll probably end up working because you never know how long TTC will take, and that extra money would be nice especially with wanting to have a baby. But I like having options.
Posted by heyimbren[/QUOTE]

Options are good! Sometimes I wish I didn't have so many. Isn't that weird?

ETA: I still think it's good to spend some time just being you, post-school, before you're a mom. I think most people see themselves a little differently after they're out of college/grad school. Good to get to know the new you at that point, ya know?

tmacwin · February 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_eye-opener?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:1a69f563-d38b-4827-997a-caa7ac431d7aPost:16419de5-e48e-46da-9de3-a0aa53713420">Re: Eye Opener</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh Hazel, I totally know what you mean! BF just answers so casually when people ask questions like, "When are you getting married?" or "You two should have kids someday!" I mean, I know we've talked it all out and are in total agreement on everything, but he's not shy about it at all. It's just... very matter-of-fact. "We'll be getting married next year, either August or September.... After we get settled in my first duty station, we'll start trying. Probably in 2014 or 15." On New Years, the thing that really struck me is that I started saying "next year" for when we'll get married and "this year" for when we'll get engaged. We're ready, I'm excited... but wow! And I know that 3-4 years is still a long way off, but it feels so soon. It's ridiculously exciting but also overwhelming. Like when did I get old enough to be allowed to get married? Heck, why is anyone letting me live on my own and pay my own bills and work at a job? I feel like someone's going to find me out and haul me back to 7th grade at some point. Like, when did high school graduation become 7 years ago?!
Posted by calindi[/QUOTE]

Very crazy! I'll have my 10 yr reunion this summer! I'm still trying to decide if I'm excited about it or not...

We have talked quite a bit about what a TTC timelinen would be. Like many of you other ladies, we'd like to be married for a year before trying. But I also told him I'd like to start trying by the time I'm 30--so we are cutting it close. If we get engaged sooner rather than later (sinice last summer he's been telling me we'd have a Q1 engagement) the timing could work out perfectly!

tmacwin · February 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_eye-opener?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:1a69f563-d38b-4827-997a-caa7ac431d7aPost:301ed2dd-e39c-4299-a9e2-337658ec4964">Re: Eye Opener</a>:
[QUOTE]I thought the thing about twins being genetic was false.... it all has to do with how many eggs your ovaries release at a time. Anywho... BF has sisters who are twins. I have a couple of sets of cousins. We had a family friend who basically had batches, it was like a fertility pyramid. She had one boy, Then had twins-boy and girl Then had triplets-all girls THEN, got divorced, remarried... And had another set of twins. That's 8 kids in four pregnancies. She didn't even get her own TLC special.
Posted by Wrkn925[/QUOTE]

Being an identical twin, we are the only ones in my family. I believe that fraternal are genetic, identical are not.

calindi · February 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_eye-opener?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:1a69f563-d38b-4827-997a-caa7ac431d7aPost:b5ea0334-b4f9-4bd7-80b6-8978ce0c9267">Re: Eye Opener</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Eye Opener : Being an identical twin, we are the only ones in my family. I believe that fraternal are genetic, identical are not.
Posted by tmacwin[/QUOTE]

This! Fraternal is when there are two eggs that are simultaneously released during ovulation and are fertilized by two separate sperm (sometimes the same day, sometimes as much as a day or so apart, depending on ovulation). The likelihood to release two eggs simultaneously is something that is hereditary.

Identical twins are when a single embryo splits - I don't know if it's two sperm or one sperm, but it's definitely one embryo. This is very rare, and just as likely to happen to anyone as anyone else, as far as I've heard (or at least my AP Bio teacher said so in high school, so there!). It's just a random occurance.

Twins run in my Mom's family pretty heavily, so it's a possibility that I'd have twins. I'll take what I get and be very happy, fingers crossed that they're healthy!

BF really wants to have his first kid by the time he's 30. He's turning 28 next month. Not gonna happen... but I'm okay with when I'm 30, so probably in about 3-4 years we'll start trying.

misskrysbaby · February 2011

Don't really have a timeline. We don't want kids at the moment, FI is 29 and I'm 25. I have those urges, I can't deny that, right now my biological clock is fighting with my logical brain. I need to finish up with school and we want to travel shortly after the wedding, so kids really just don't fit in at the moment.

Elle1036 · February 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_eye-opener?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:1a69f563-d38b-4827-997a-caa7ac431d7aPost:064856e5-ed3d-4121-8092-7749c8aad5aa">Re: Eye Opener</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Eye Opener : This! Fraternal is when there are two eggs that are simultaneously released during ovulation and are fertilized by two separate sperm (sometimes the same day, sometimes as much as a day or so apart, depending on ovulation). The likelihood to release two eggs simultaneously is something that is hereditary. Identical twins are when a single embryo splits - I don't know if it's two sperm or one sperm, but it's definitely one embryo. This is very rare, and just as likely to happen to anyone as anyone else, as far as I've heard (or at least my AP Bio teacher said so in high school, so there!). It's just a random occurance. Twins run in my Mom's family pretty heavily, so it's a possibility that I'd have twins. I'll take what I get and be very happy, fingers crossed that they're healthy! BF really wants to have his first kid by the time he's 30. He's turning 28 next month. Not gonna happen... but I'm okay with when I'm 30, so probably in about 3-4 years we'll start trying.
Posted by calindi[/QUOTE]

Just one sperm.

Wrkn925 · February 2011

Just one sperm.

It's already an embryo, so it's fertilized, then splits.

leia1979 · February 2011

Totally anecdotal evidence, but of the two women I've known who had twins, their mothers were also a twin.

A friend of mine just had twins last year--one boy, one girl. She says she's all done now.

cu97tiger · February 2011

My great-grandfather on my mom's side was an identical twin. My mom was also a twin but her twin was stillborn and she doesn't know if it was identical or not. According to that article, twin-ness can be passed on through the male side of the family but it won't manifest until it hits the women. So if great-grandpa passed it to grandpa who passed it to my mom, then I have a chance.

I'd love to have twins, since especially at my age, I'm not sure I will have the time to be pregnant more than once!

jemmini6 · February 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_eye-opener?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:1a69f563-d38b-4827-997a-caa7ac431d7aPost:05da24cc-b1ec-405e-8cbf-c844df8be91d">Re: Eye Opener</a>:
[QUOTE]My great-grandfather on my mom's side was an identical twin. My mom was also a twin but her twin was stillborn and she doesn't know if it was identical or not. According to that article, twin-ness can be passed on through the male side of the family but it won't manifest until it hits the women. So if great-grandpa passed it to grandpa who passed it to my mom, then I have a chance. I'd love to have twins, since especially at my age, I'm not sure I will have the time to be pregnant more than once!
Posted by cu97tiger[/QUOTE]

I wouldn't say that. My grandma had twins (my mom and aunt) at 40! Then she still had another baby after that. LOL.

sapphirebaby926 · February 2011

Fraternal twins run in my family and that was one of the things I was worried about when we started TTC. My great-grandmother was the the third set of boy-girl twins and my sister's first pregnancy was twins but she lost one. It's definitely a possibility that I could have ended up with twins.

Wrkn925 · February 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_eye-opener?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:1a69f563-d38b-4827-997a-caa7ac431d7aPost:46911f6c-f466-40cb-92ee-43a3e61217c4">Re: Eye Opener</a>:
[QUOTE]Fraternal twins run in my family and that was one of the things I was worried about when we started TTC. My great-grandmother was the the third set of boy-girl twins and my sister's first pregnancy was twins but she lost one. It's definitely a possibility that I could have ended up with twins.
Posted by sapphirebaby926[/QUOTE]

Today is Wednesday.

Did you know that Sapphire?

It's Wednesday.

PolkaDotBella · February 2011

Totally late to the party, but since the bf and I just had another discussion about this last night, I thought it would be an appropriate time to jump in... we've talked about our timelines and whatnot and we want to be married at least a year before we start TTC. So our tentative timeline is:
married 2012
TTC 2013-2014
I'm excited to have kids... I love 'em and it melts my heart to see my bf grinning at babies as they pass us. He's even started to point out cute ones to me.

Though at the same time, I do get a bit freaked out mainly because of what so many other girls have said... I don't feel old enough yet! Though, my 10 year high school reunion will be next year... yikes!! I can't believe that, though maybe it's because I'm back in school...

Regardless, we're excited to have kids, but I definitely want to get at least one year of job experience before having to take time off for a baby...

Eye Opener

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