edit: BF did make it home

Narwhal

I don't feel like it's legal to arrest someone for just sitting on a bench because of who they are picking up...

But I know nothing about legality.

Ana_2985

It makes sense to me.  They wanted to make sure they weren't sending one drunk driver home with another drunk driver.  I think he is lucky they stopped him before something bad happened.

A citation isn't the same as an arrest as far as I know.

ekathleen684

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_bf-didnt-home-worried?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:1d1b87cc-8305-4f4d-88e0-88a00650c653Post:4235a48f-4596-4544-b179-76147ae1470d">Re: BF didn't make it home - worried</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't feel like it's legal to arrest someone for just sitting on a bench because of who they are picking up... But I know nothing about legality.
Posted by Narwhal[/QUOTE]

I agree, this was kind of crappy of the cops, must have been a slow night. It could have been much, much worse. At least he's ok and he wasn't the one with the DUI, those are a bitch and will cost lots of moolah!

Button5807

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_bf-didnt-home-worried?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:1d1b87cc-8305-4f4d-88e0-88a00650c653Post:37afa1fa-85e7-4ffd-af63-11740aface2b">Re: BF didn't make it home - worried</a>:
[QUOTE]It makes sense to me.  They wanted to make sure they weren't sending one drunk driver home with another drunk driver.  I think he is lucky they stopped him before something bad happened. A citation isn't the same as an arrest as far as I know.
Posted by Ana_2985[/QUOTE]

This x1000

loopy82

Glad to hear that everything is pretty much fine. (except that citation.) I also agree that the cops seemed to be kind of shady with what they were doing. Was your BF over the legal limit and intending on driving?

Ana_2985

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_bf-didnt-home-worried?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:1d1b87cc-8305-4f4d-88e0-88a00650c653Post:c1917adb-8c5c-4cb2-b5f3-e5e155939ec9">Re: BF didn't make it home - worried</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: BF didn't make it home - worried : I agree, this was kind of crappy of the cops, must have been a slow night. It could have been much, much worse. At least he's ok and he wasn't the one with the DUI, those are a bitch and will cost lots of moolah!
Posted by ekathleen684[/QUOTE]

This makes no sense.  It would have been crappy of the cops to let them leave and allow the possibility for OP's BF to kill someone on the way home.

noelle24

The question is how he GOT to the bench? How was he getting home? If the answer was "driving", then a citation was 100% warranted.

Edit: I'm assuming here that he was over the legal limit.  I can't see how they could give him a citation otherwise.

leia1979

Hmm...maybe it's not a citation then. He has to go to court, but the same way you can go to court if you want to protest a speeding ticket.

I've managed to stay out of our legal system so far, and I like it that way.

I agree with you, Ana. I really don't know how much he had, or if it was safe for him to be driving or not. He's not a big drinker, though. Anyway, I hope we can get this cleared up with a class or a fine or something.

ETA: No blood alcohol content test was performed, so no way to know if he was over/under the limit. This was purely based on observation, which is legal in CA for "drunk in public."

Narwhal

Haha I guess that does make sense then.  I'm highly medicated and didn't even put that together.  I retract my statement.

ekathleen684

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_bf-didnt-home-worried?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:1d1b87cc-8305-4f4d-88e0-88a00650c653Post:ee3ec192-2a57-40d1-a139-b9b92ccb44e9">Re: BF didn't make it home - worried</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: BF didn't make it home - worried : This makes no sense.  It would have been crappy of the cops to let them leave and allow the possibility for OP's BF to kill someone on the way home.
Posted by Ana_2985[/QUOTE]

Well, I didn't think of it that way. I meant more of, he didn't get hurt, he didn't hit anything or anyone. FI got a DUI and while yes, it was deserved and he SHOULD NOT have done it, it was only him and he didn't hit anything or anyone.

Button5807

If I had my own country we would execute drunk drivers.

noelle24

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_bf-didnt-home-worried?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:1d1b87cc-8305-4f4d-88e0-88a00650c653Post:6bbf4bcb-d0eb-4fef-8d8c-3e29c33730ff">Re: BF didn't make it home - worried</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: BF didn't make it home - worried : Well, I didn't think of it that way. I meant more of, he didn't get hurt, he didn't hit anything or anyone. FI got a DUI and while yes, it was deserved and he SHOULD NOT have done it, it was only him and he didn't hit anything or anyone.
Posted by ekathleen684[/QUOTE]

Then he was damn lucky. Drunk driving is an asinine and idiotic thing to do. And really, there's no excuse to ever put yourself (or worse, innocent bystanders) at risk like that.

Whether or not you hit something or someone is not relevant. If anything, making it home safely that time might have encouraged him to do it again.  And he may not have been as lucky the second time. 

catemeg

Well, I'm glad he wasn't behind the wheel drunk (going to overlook that he probably drove there drunk, but hopefully this scared him into NEVER doing that again).

A citation isn't that bad, it should blow over.  Everyone is very lucky it wasn't worse, because those kinds of things affect you for life (increased car insurance premiums, having to report it to potential employers, etc.)

I'm glad he's safe and that he's home!  And I'm also glad he's remorseful - hopefully he'll steer clear of vehicles while drunk.

Though personally, I think our public intoxication rules are ridiculous.  In college, when I lived in DC, we used to wrap paper bags around the bottles and take them down to the National Mall at night, sitting on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial while drinking.  The security guards didn't care as long as no one was puking or falling down the stairs, and we never got more than tipsy anyway.

Button5807

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_bf-didnt-home-worried?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:1d1b87cc-8305-4f4d-88e0-88a00650c653Post:ec97d27a-f9b6-4670-ad06-3d88c94a9cf0">Re: BF didn't make it home - worried</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: BF didn't make it home - worried : Whether or not you hit something or someone is not relevant. If anything, making it home safely that time might have encouraged him to do it again.  And he may not have been as lucky the second time. 
Posted by noelle24[/QUOTE]

Amen.

ekathleen684

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_bf-didnt-home-worried?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:1d1b87cc-8305-4f4d-88e0-88a00650c653Post:ec97d27a-f9b6-4670-ad06-3d88c94a9cf0">Re: BF didn't make it home - worried</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: BF didn't make it home - worried : Then he was damn lucky. Drunk driving is an asinine and idiotic thing to do. And really, there's no excuse to ever put yourself (or worse, innocent bystanders) at risk like that. Whether or not you hit something or someone is not relevant. If anything, making it home safely that time might have encouraged him to do it again.  And he may not have been as lucky the second time. 
Posted by noelle24[/QUOTE]

I agree with you completely, I think if you do it once or twice you get a sense in being invincible. I thank God all the time that nothing happened outside of him getting pulled over and charged. It happened and as stupid and wrong it was of him, there is nothing that I, or he, or anyone can do to change the past. We just have to learn from our mistakes. He knows that it was a huge mistake and he could have killed someone. Luckily, he has learned from his mistake and will not drink and drive.

loopy82

I'm glad I don't live in CA - if just based on observation a cop can decide if they want to say you are drunk or not.

I am clumsy. I run into things. I like to wear heels, I am not graceful. I could be completely stone sober and appear to be drunk. ( I have been asked if I was drunk when I've had not a drop of alcohol.)

noelle24

Good for your FI, ekath.

I realize I may have come across harsh, but this is a sensitive topic for me and my family.

ekathleen684

I understand and you have every reason to sound harsh. I just didn't want you or anyone to think I condone his actions or am taking then lightly because "no one was hurt". Either way, it shouldn't haven happened in the first place.