FFF

K Everdeen12

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_fff-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:2d679815-dbeb-4b88-a135-ed30ca9ef398Post:03b154c6-27d3-4fca-9bf4-4c6918b84886">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : Formula isn't harmful, no, but I do think that the absence of breastmilk is harmful.  Your definition of harmful may be stricter than mine, <strong>but I do think that being denied a substance that promotes healthy development is harmful.</strong>
Posted by Elle1036[/QUOTE]

<div>This is very true.  In an extreme case - an infant was fed a vegan diet and died because he or she wasn't receiving the proper nutrients it needed to thrive.  </div><div>
</div><div>Similarly, I think it's important for a baby to get antibodies from its mother before it has a fully functional immune system.</div><div>
</div><div>I'm not really good at this AE thing, am I?</div>

beanbot2002

In regards to breastfeeding...

I breast fed the Bean until he was approximately 18months old. It was a truly enjoyable experience. It did not de-sexualize my breasts. When I am with my SO they are incredibly sexual. It didn't weird me out to breast feed-and when I was I didn't view it as a sexual experience, and it doesn't weird me out to have my breasts fondled, sucked, etc by my lover AFTER having breast fed.

What I'm saying here is that I am able to completely separate the two experiences. I think a lot of other breast feeding mothers have a similar view. I'm just throwing this in for a personal experience opinion.

thejucheidea

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_fff-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:2d679815-dbeb-4b88-a135-ed30ca9ef398Post:7a273efa-2151-42d2-90c6-7b8ad29d2045">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : That's a good point, Still.  The difficulties that working moms deal with is another issue I have major problems with.
Posted by Elle1036[/QUOTE]

Ohhhh yes indeed. When we have kids, I'd like to nurse them for as long as possible so that they can swim in my antibodies and maybe avoid developing celiac disease down the road, but I don't know that my job will make long-term breastfeeding possible, or at least not as long-term as I'd like to be breastfeeding.

Elle1036

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_fff-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:2d679815-dbeb-4b88-a135-ed30ca9ef398Post:b9bbba28-2a53-4978-a658-045803a921c4">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>Elle, if you feel so strongly about babies getting breastmillk, if you were physically unable, do you think you would consider using someone else's milk?</strong>  One of my issues with your viewpoint is how guilty it makes women feel when they do have a physical issue that prevents them from doing it.  I know you're saying you don't judge those women, because they have a good reason.  But it doesn't change the background of your argument - you believe babies need breastmilk, and to not provide it is potentially harmful to the baby, right?  Then these women have so much guilt over it.  I don't like that.
Posted by polo1425[/QUOTE]

Of course I would.  Are there women who wouldn't?  That question confuses me.

Otherwise, I'm with you.  It sucks that women who are unable to provide breastmilk feel guilty about it.  Really, though, that's because they're right.  Their babies should get breastmilk. 

DanieKA

Yeah, I agree with Polo. It's not that I dispute breast milk is better. I don't. It's that formula is fine as well. I just think, where does it end? There will never be perfect conditions for having a baby. And to say, "unless you are willing to do X, you shouldn't be a mother?" Where does that end? 

You shouldn't be a mother unless you buy organic, raw, real everything (I love velveeta and damn if that's not real cheese. My kid's still gonna eat a velveeta quesadilla every once in a while).

You shouldn't be a mother unless you have X amount of money saved in the bank.

You shouldn't be a mother if you plan to raise your children in the city, because the school are clearly ranked better in the suburbs so move or remain childless. (in my area the school ARE better in the suburbs. But we love city life. We love the people and the weirdness. Moving to vanilla suburb is out of the question). 

You shouldn't be a mother unless you can give your kids a "real" home, in a house not a more transient apartment. or small NY sublet (for example). 

You shouldn't be a mother unless you are in a two parent home. 

You shouldn't be a mother unless that two parent home is father/mother, not mother/mother or father/father.

You shouldn't be a mother unless you love pregnancy and everything that comes with it. I know plenty of women who HATE pregnancy, but are fantastc moms. If you hate the process of growing a child, should you be allowed to be a mom? I think so. 

Where does it stop? Sure, there are studies that support that growing up in a two parent home, going to the best rated schools give you an advantage, having a yard to run in and play does children well, etc, etc, etc. But There is no way I would limit the choice for parents. Raise your child in an apartment, raise them in a house, just raise 'em well. Feed them non-hormone, all organic cheese made from the milk of grass fed cattle that roamed in an open field in Montana, or feed them Cheeze Whiz and crackers (OMG! I haven't had cheeze Whiz in years). 

I also like how someone mentioned that there can be other factors at work here, like lack of education, socio-economic status, etc. Just a blanket statement like if you're not willing to breastfeed (if you can), then you shouldn't be a parent (I don't think that's your original quote, but a paraphrase), just doesn't ring true to me in the sense of giving women freedoms to choose between two (or more) viable options. 

Just a respectful disagree. And just a random fact. I do plan to breastfeed if I can. 

thejucheidea

I don't know how I'd feel about giving my child donor milk. I feel like a lot of the benefits of breastfeeding come from the baby receiving his mother's antibodies, and that the donor milk might not provide the same benefits that mother's milk would provide.

Elle1036

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_fff-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:2d679815-dbeb-4b88-a135-ed30ca9ef398Post:b51950b5-6b8b-44f7-ba2a-7ef31cdaaf60">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't know how I'd feel about giving my child donor milk. <strong>I feel like a lot of the benefits of breastfeeding come from the baby receiving his mother's antibodies,</strong> and that the donor milk might not provide the same benefits that mother's milk would provide.
Posted by ahstillwell[/QUOTE]

I don't know that that's true.  It might be, but I've never heard that before.

Elle1036

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_fff-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:2d679815-dbeb-4b88-a135-ed30ca9ef398Post:446066e8-efca-4d5d-82b0-6d55f056f99d">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]Yeah, I agree with Polo. It's not that I dispute breast milk is better. I don't. It's that formula is fine as well.<strong> I just think, where does it end? There will never be perfect conditions for having a baby</strong>. Posted by DanieKA[/QUOTE]

This is a good point.  I just don't see breastmilk as "perfect".  I see it as "necessary". 

DanieKA

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_fff-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:2d679815-dbeb-4b88-a135-ed30ca9ef398Post:1b84051a-4b39-4ea4-b7d4-b0f02a1113d9">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]Danie, your posts are always so well-thought out and I often find myself nodding along with you.  Well put!
Posted by polo1425[/QUOTE]

<div>Thanks! I'm often nodding to your posts as well:)</div>

thejucheidea

I also think of breast milk as a bodily fluid that requires regulation like donor blood. It would have to go through a VERY stringent screening process for me to be willing to give it to a child. I don't know how I'd feel about the freshness either -- I'd be constantly afraid of giving the kid bad milk without knowing it because I didn't know the exact time it was expressed.

I think I'd just be very, very afraid of donor milk. Too many possibilities for contamination.

Elle1036

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_fff-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:2d679815-dbeb-4b88-a135-ed30ca9ef398Post:cd88a19e-eb41-48dc-8607-2528a897f9de">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : I've honestly never heard that breastmilk is necessary.   Even the pro-BF commercials just say, breastmilk is best. 
Posted by polo1425[/QUOTE]

That's why I said <em>"I see</em> it as necessary."

DanieKA

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_fff-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:2d679815-dbeb-4b88-a135-ed30ca9ef398Post:56fb3354-f93a-4016-959d-67e33e4a8041">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : This is a good point.  I just don't see breastmilk as "perfect".  I see it as "necessary". 
Posted by Elle1036[/QUOTE]

<div>This I get. I think what it boils down to is that what's necessary to you and your family may not be necessary to mine. </div><div>
</div><div>What's necessary: baby needs to eat. Period. People need to eat. We all have to have something to sustain us. </div><div>
</div><div>What, in my opinion, is optional is how those babies get the nutrients. Getting them is crucial, the method I think falls in the neighborhood of personal family choice. What's good in my house for my family. And it may not be good in your house for your family, but Mazel for growing babies!</div><div>
</div><div>I'd actually really love to hear what Desert or Mutley think about this. Just from the perspective of mom/soon-to be mom. What their personal experiences are and what they've seen from other moms and even on the boards over at the bump. </div>

Elle1036

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_fff-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:2d679815-dbeb-4b88-a135-ed30ca9ef398Post:a34af61a-3161-470a-846f-db746b15c126">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : This I get. I think what it boils down to is that what's necessary to you and your family may not be necessary to mine.  What's necessary: baby needs to eat. Period. People need to eat. We all have to have something to sustain us.  What's, in my opinion, is optional is how those baby's get the nutrients. Getting them is crucial, the method I think falls in the neighborhood of personal family choice. WHat's good in my house for my family. And it may not be good in your house for your family, but Mazel for growing babies! I'd actually really love to hear what Desert or Mutley think about this. Just from the perspective of mom/soon-to be mom. What their personal experiences are and what they've seen from other moms and even on the boards of at the bump. 
Posted by DanieKA[/QUOTE]

I know Mutley is a diehard breastfeeder.  I don't know about Desert, though.

It is a personal choice, that I get.  What I don't get is why anyone who wanted the best for her baby would choose against it.  It may be unpleasant for you, sure.  But so is changing a diaper and cleaning up spit-up, but you suck it up and deal because it's what your baby needs.

DanieKA

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_fff-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:2d679815-dbeb-4b88-a135-ed30ca9ef398Post:cb5fed15-98fc-4655-a366-795502c4d5f9">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : I know Mutley is a diehard breastfeeder.  I don't know about Desert, though. It is a personal choice, that I get.  What I don't get is why anyone who wanted the best for her baby would choose against it.  It may be unpleasant for you, sure.  But so is changing a diaper and cleaning up spit-up, but you suck it up and deal because it's what your baby needs.
Posted by Elle1036[/QUOTE]

<div>Yeah, I always like to hear perspectives from people who have been there. Because to a certain extent I don't think you ever really know what you'd do in any given event until it is happening. </div><div>
</div><div>My stance might be strange as someone who does want to breastfeed and fully intends on doing so it's that I just don't want to dissect any choices and their viable alternatives for women, whether that be more nationally (like a bunch of men decided on women's rights, abortion, and birth control), or mom to mom. I just despise making a woman feel bad for choosing a medically viable, age appropriate option. I feel like I'm reaching into her house, and into her mind, and into her family planning when I don't have to. I just hate shaming* women who make a different, but medically acceptable choice than I would make. I just hate taking away choice. I feel like women's choices are already taken away or made for them in so many other areas, that this is one where I just want to cut a woman some slack. </div><div>
</div><div>*not that that's what anyone here is doing. But it does happen. </div>

Elle1036

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_fff-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:2d679815-dbeb-4b88-a135-ed30ca9ef398Post:79869175-b0bf-4cc1-afe1-e4c21d7caa7a">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : Yeah, I always like to hear perspectives from people who have been there. Because to a certain extent I don't think you ever really know what you'd do in any given event until it is happening.  My stance might be strange as someone who does want to breastfeed and fully intends on doing so it's that I just don't want to dissect any choices and their viable alternatives for women, whether that be more nationally (like a bunch of men decided on women's rights, abortion, and birth control), or mom to mom.<strong> I just despise making a woman feel bad for choosing a medically viable, age appropriate option. I feel like I'm reaching into her house, and into her mind, and into her family planning when I don't have to. I just hate shaming* women who make a different, but medically acceptable choice than I would make. I just hate taking away choice.</strong> I feel like women's choices are already taken away or made for them in so many other areas, that this is one where I just want to cut a woman some slack.  *not that that's what anyone here is doing. But it does happen. 
Posted by DanieKA[/QUOTE]

I get that, and I feel the same way for the most part.

I'm not campaigning to make formula-feeding illegal.  I really just don't get why anyone would choose it.  That's why I started this topic.  I don't get it.

Elle1036

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_fff-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:2d679815-dbeb-4b88-a135-ed30ca9ef398Post:ad8693f7-e624-4fe0-87eb-9bcb36f72246">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]It's been lovely chatting with you ladies this afternoon. I'm going to blow dry my hair for the first time in a week, and then have pizza and champagne for dinner.  Hope you all have a fabulous Friday night!
Posted by polo1425[/QUOTE]

I'm about to have to duck out too if I'm going to finish my work for the day.

Pizza and champagne sound amazing.

desertsun

I think that the breastfeeding debate is interesting. I personally try not to judge the choices other people make about their bodies, when they make informed decisions.

Breastfeeding is often portrayed as this natural, easy thing. It's not. It can be painful and it can be incredibly difficult physically and emotionally. If we're talking blogs, here's one my sister recently shared with me:
http://www.conscienceparenting.com/2012/04/25/10-things-you-should-know-about-your-first-week-of-breastfeeding/

So, IMO, quality of life is an important consideration. I do think that, barring a physical condition that would make it difficult or impossible, at least TRYING to breastfeed is a good idea, b/c the research is pretty conclusive that ANY amount of breastmilk is beneficial to your baby's health long term. But if you try and have issues and it's impacting your quality of life, and your baby's in a negative way, then stoppping might just be the best thing. Health is not just physical well-being, IMO -- it's also mental and emotional well-being.

I also think though that ultimately, it's your body, and that makes it YOUR choice. I might have a personal opinion about that choice. But I will respect your right to make it and trust that you're making the decision that is best for you.

I will be doing my best to breastfeed. I haven't made a firm decision on how long. I'm super uncomfortable with my body being a topic for discussion in the work place. It's hard enough being pregnant and walking into a room and having people discuss your size and staring at your belly. I don't want my co-workers talking about me breastfeeding. I just don't think it's something people should talk about, but they've already started. People seem to think your private body business is okay to discuss publicly when you are pregnant/nursing. I know this is MY issue, and I will do my best to just suck it up and calmly and politely say, "I'm not comfortable discussing that." But I'm really, really not looking forward to it. And stress can impact supply, so it's possible that just stressing out about it will have a negative impact on my ability to continue to breastfeed after I return to work after my leave. (I'm taking about 10 weeks full leave, followed by 4 weeks part time, then back to full time.)

So. That's my 2 cents.

doubleSS07

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_fff-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:2d679815-dbeb-4b88-a135-ed30ca9ef398Post:4df520ae-0c6a-4479-a4fe-857d013b2c5b">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]I liked Danie's thoughts. My next post was going to be super intelligent, along the lines of, <strong>"But they're MY Boobs." Insightful, I know.
</strong>Posted by polo1425[/QUOTE]

Like! haha

bsidebella

I just want to pop in and say I really enjoyed reading that breastfeeding debate. While I am in favor of breastfeeding and would do it myself if I planned on reproducing, I think everyone, regardless of stance, some excellent points. It was interesting reading material.

beanbot2002

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_fff-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:2d679815-dbeb-4b88-a135-ed30ca9ef398Post:ee471a8c-d9ed-4697-afd1-251e9a497014">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]I think that the breastfeeding debate is interesting. I personally try not to judge the choices other people make about their bodies, when they make informed decisions. Breastfeeding is often portrayed as this natural, easy thing. It's not.<strong> It can be painful and it can be incredibly difficult physically and emotionally. </strong>If we're talking blogs, here's one my sister recently shared with me: <a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.conscienceparenting.com/2012/04/25/10-things-you-should-know-about-your-first-week-of-breastfeeding/">http://www.conscienceparenting.com/2012/04/25/10-things-you-should-know-about-your-first-week-of-breastfeeding/</a> So, IMO, quality of life is an important consideration. I do think that, barring a physical condition that would make it difficult or impossible, at least TRYING to breastfeed is a good idea, b/c the research is pretty conclusive that ANY amount of breastmilk is beneficial to your baby's health long term. But if you try and have issues and it's impacting your quality of life, and your baby's in a negative way, then stoppping might just be the best thing. Health is not just physical well-being, IMO -- it's also mental and emotional well-being. I also think though that ultimately, it's your body, and that makes it YOUR choice. I might have a personal opinion about that choice. But I will respect your right to make it and trust that you're making the decision that is best for you. I will be doing my best to breastfeed. I haven't made a firm decision on how long. I'm super uncomfortable with my body being a topic for discussion in the work place. It's hard enough being pregnant and walking into a room and having people discuss your size and staring at your belly. I don't want my co-workers talking about me breastfeeding. I just don't think it's something people should talk about, but they've already started. People seem to think your private body business is okay to discuss publicly when you are pregnant/nursing. I know this is MY issue, and I will do my best to just suck it up and calmly and politely say, "I'm not comfortable discussing that." But I'm really, really not looking forward to it. And stress can impact supply, so it's possible that just stressing out about it will have a negative impact on my ability to continue to breastfeed after I return to work after my leave. (I'm taking about 10 weeks full leave, followed by 4 weeks part time, then back to full time.) So. That's my 2 cents. :)
Posted by desertsun[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>This. Breastfeeding was incredibly difficult at times. It was physically painful at times, and incredibly emotional especially during those first few weeks when hormones were going crazy. There were times when I would cry and just want to throw in the towel. But I stuck it out because I felt it was the best thing I could do for Bean at that time. If I could struggle through a few months of being in a little bit (or a sh!t ton-at times) of pain in order to provide, what I felt, was the best start for him, then I would. I'm glad I did it, and my future children will all be breastfed as long as I am physically able. </div><div>
</div><div>I'm not personally a fan of formula feeding if you can breast feed. But as others have stated, it's a very personal choice. Each mother/family has to decide what works best for their family. For my little family, breast feeding was the best choice. I am grateful that I was blessed with the opportunity to make that choice. </div><div>
</div>

jaycee7389

I'm late to this party, but I agree with Elle 100%

I also do agree with stillwell's mention of breast milk being treated as a bodily fluid. It can transmit disease just like blood, so I would probably go for formula over donor breast milk.

My biggest argument is that breast milk is free, natural, and what was intended for human infants. Why would you want to deprive your child of that? I honestly feel if you're more worried about your sexual relationship with your breasts than giving your child the best chance at fighting disease and infection, you are not ready to be a parent.

I try hard not to judge the personal decisions of others, but when a child is involved who does not have any say it is hard for me to not judge. I also want to add that my 'judgement' is on mothers who choose not to BF for self image or sex issues like someone in this tread mentioned.

LoveBug82510

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_fff-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:2d679815-dbeb-4b88-a135-ed30ca9ef398Post:7d626c1c-503e-4265-9832-bf447725e992">FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]Because I need an outlet. I flame PRBright, for asking if Chernobyl was a real place. When ahstillwell said she wanted to go there on her honeymoon, she said "Make sure you take a video camera so when you die a gruesome death we can send it to Hollywood! Money in the bank." First of all, how do you not know Chernobyl is real? Second of all, are you serious? We all know that ahstillwell works in cancer research, and sees real people die from cancer all the time. ~ Credit to Yaga, from the Grave. I flame <strong>LoveBug for DDing a KUI thread. Because WTF?
</strong>Posted by BriSox81[/QUOTE]

THIS is not my fault.  My faulty cell phone fvcking froze up and when it finally let me do something I couldn't get back on tk.  I didn't realize it even POSTED let alone the way it did.  So no reason to be beating me up for a technical glitch.

LoveBug82510

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_fff-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:2d679815-dbeb-4b88-a135-ed30ca9ef398Post:e22fda51-939a-460b-b52c-3d03bf5b6bc1">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]firstly, peek and yaga, she didn't claim that "God told her to" or "her church told her to care about it".  she just said that she was introduced to it at her church.  she made the next step to become involved.  that happens a lot.  many churches introduce their members to a lot of organizations that DO GOOD, and if the members are interested they can pursue it.  no one tells them to.  a lot of the time, we don't have a ton of extra cash, so we can't give to every cause out there.  but sometimes a certain organization or family will really get to you, and then a committment is made.  not because someone told her to. this is one of the reasons so many people are hesitant to even say they're religious on these boards. secondly, talking about FFF and other posters in a private chat and coming up with ways to humiliate them and make up comebacks for them is just wrong.  it goes on all the time, and it's WRONG.  saying you want to c**tpunch someone for having an opinion you don't agree with?  talking about other posters you don't like and coming up with ways to antagonize them on the boards?  seriously?  it's just a bunch of gossip and validation going on between certain posters.  there is a reason that some posters don't come around and don't post much anymore.  and I know I'm going to get flamed to high heaven for saying all this, but someone has to.  this isn't right.  this isn't the same community that I joined in 2009.  I don't know what's going on, but it makes me sick to see all the negative and hateful chat going on behind the scenes, and to see posters ganging up and attacking other posters they don't like because they have a picture similar to another poster...  or because they think they're stupid, or ignorant, or for whatever reason.  it doesn't make you a bigger person. I can't control what you post, I know.  it's THE INTERNET.  but you can't control what I post either.  and I can't just sit back and watch anymore.  I feel as guilty as the rest of you for seeing what's going on and not doing a thing about it.  I know posting this probably won't change a thing.  it'll probably just get me pulled in to all the crap talk behind the scenes.  but at least I'll feel better about myself for doing the right thing.  I just don't understand the pull for drama...  why does it make someone feel good to gossip and talk bad behind others' backs, for ganging up on them, for antagonizing them?  someone please answer me that.
Posted by CocoBellaF[/QUOTE]

You absolutely hit the nail on the head! OMG I wish I could have had the balls to say this. :/

LoveBug82510

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_fff-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:2d679815-dbeb-4b88-a135-ed30ca9ef398Post:d9a9bea7-fe7a-4aad-94e9-3e0822b39fcf">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : So you think a woman needs to have a good reason to choose not to breastfeed?
Posted by polo1425[/QUOTE]

A woman doesn't need to have a "good" reason to not breastfeed.  They either breastfeed or they don't, end of story.  I can understand if the mom is taking medicine for lets say, Lymes disease, and she doesn't want the medicine to be transferred to the baby.  OR say she takes medicine for chronic migraines.  EVERYTHING, and I mean EVERYTHING you eat/drink gets broken down and transferred to the baby.

I am an advocate for breast feeding through and through BUT I also will tell someone that the formulas these days are just as good as breast milk.   I've breastfed and I've formula fed and I will do the same for any future children I have.

LoveBug82510

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_fff-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:2d679815-dbeb-4b88-a135-ed30ca9ef398Post:ac013029-44a5-46db-9448-4554f4632d29">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : To be clear - I understand several of the issues that blogger mentioned.  Body issues, self-consciousness, etc...  But if you aren't prepared to breastfeed your baby, I guess I feel like you aren't ready to be a parent.  I don't understand why any woman who is fully capable would choose not to breastfeed her child.  That's just saying you're choosing not to do what's best for your baby and... yeah... I flame that.
Posted by Elle1036[/QUOTE]

WOW Elle, I am extremely shocked.  NOT every woman HAS to breast feed.  There are no laws saying it has to be done.  Yes, it's better for the baby BUT formulas these days are getting to the point where they are just as good as breast milk.  Some babies can't have breastmilk, because of any number of things. 

I know many people (my sis-in-law, my friends, ME) who chose not to breast feed, not because of the inconvenience, but because of medical issues.  I breastfed for 6 months and had to stop because I wasn't making enough breastmilk to feed my son...plus he was going on formula and was already on baby food which was being mixed by formula anyhow.  If I had continued breastfeeding him, he would have not gotten enough.

If you know you don't want to breastfeed before you have children, it is NOT a reason to not have children.  Just because you don't want to doesn't mean that the person isn't ready to be a parent.  It takes special people to be parents and not everyone is cut out for that responsibility....breastfeeding or not plays NO part in it.

bethsmiles

Lovebug - I feel like you need to take a step back. You are way over-reacting to some of these posts.

desertsun

I applaud Coco, Allusive, and Beth for standing up for what you think is right. I'm really glad that all of you are still here and active, even if a bit less active than you've been in the past.

I think there is a difference between having an intelligent discussion about a difference in world views and attacking someone on a personal level b/c they choose to not be as informed as others on current events. I personally do not watch the news or visit news sites on a daily basis.

beanbot2002

Fake Irish is crazy.

jaycee7389

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_fff-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:2d679815-dbeb-4b88-a135-ed30ca9ef398Post:56388338-7e69-4959-aede-85a19a30e36f">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : WOW Elle, I am extremely shocked.  NOT every woman HAS to breast feed.  There are no laws saying it has to be done.  Yes, it's better for the baby BUT formulas these days are getting to the point where they are just as good as breast milk.  Some babies can't have breastmilk, because of any number of things.  I know many people (my sis-in-law, my friends, ME) who chose not to breast feed, not because of the inconvenience, but because of medical issues.  I breastfed for 6 months and had to stop because I wasn't making enough breastmilk to feed my son...plus he was going on formula and was already on baby food which was being mixed by formula anyhow.  If I had continued breastfeeding him, he would have not gotten enough. If you know you don't want to breastfeed before you have children, it is NOT a reason to not have children.  Just because you don't want to doesn't mean that the person isn't ready to be a parent.  It takes special people to be parents and not everyone is cut out for that responsibility....breastfeeding or not plays NO part in it.
Posted by LoveBug82510[/QUOTE]

Elle clearly stated that she was referring to women who COULD but chose not to. Obviously if a baby can't tolerate breast milk she isn't expecting the child to starve, FFS.

GoldenPenguin

THIS is not my fault.nbsp; My faulty cell phone fvcking froze up and when it finally let me do something I couldn't get back on tk.nbsp; I didn't realize it even POSTED let alone the way it did.nbsp; So no reason to be beating me up for a technical glitch. Posted by LoveBug82510[/QUOTE] I didn't beat you up. I flamed you. People saw your original post, and said it didn't look like that. No need to swear at me.