Friday Confessional

Elle1036

Confess here and be absolved.  Or flamed.  No Hail Marys necessary.

I confess that I'm terrified of ordering my college transcript and calculating my science GPA.  I need to know the number if I'm going to apply for grad school, but I'm worried that it's not good enough.

I confess that I'm terrified of applying to grad school in general.  What if I don't get in?  What if I DO?  I'm scared.

I confess that H and I haven't had sex in...  a long time.

skepticals

Elle, Im there with you on that third confession. I confess that BF and I only have sex maybe once or twice a month. 

I also confess that, much as I love him, this has caused me to question the relationship at times. I wonder if its me, or if its just 'us'?

I also confess that when certain customers come into the store, I mysteriously disappear into the back. I dont hide my emotions well, and sometimes I think my "Go Kill Yourself" face is a little transparent, no matter how much I try to mask it...

CASK85

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_friday-confessional?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:836ce47f-59c3-4288-9f33-aa1ed40321e1Post:f6581558-c182-4b5a-a490-571ff9cbe400">Friday Confessional</a>:
[QUOTE]Confess here and be absolved.  Or flamed.  No Hail Marys necessary. I confess that I'm terrified of ordering my college transcript and calculating my science GPA.  I need to know the number if I'm going to apply for grad school, but I'm worried that it's not good enough. I confess that I'm terrified of applying to grad school in general.  What if I don't get in?  What if I DO?  I'm scared. <strong>I confess that H and I haven't had sex in...  a long time.</strong>
Posted by Elle1036[/QUOTE]
I'm right there with you on that confession. <div>
</div><div>What do you want to go to grad school for again? Confession: I'm a terrible friend. </div><div>
</div><div>I confess that I no longer feel as motivated to finish my thesis because DH is taking a new job that will mean we have to stay in Chicago for at least one more year so our time here is no longer contingent upon me. I just don't care about doing experiments anymore as a result. </div><div>
</div><div>I confess that I have no clue what I want to do with my life after I fnish here. </div><div>
</div><div>I confess that, while I'm happy about loosing 7 pounds in the last month. . . I just want to eat everything in site and I hate counting calories. </div>

becunning2

I confess that I have been reading the crush-guy's blog daily. Crush has not gone away.

I confess that I'm tired, cranky, and sore. And that I want to move tomorrow.

Elle1036

C - I think I want to get a masters in genetic counseling.  I change my mind a lot, which is part of the reason I'm scared.  I've been thinking about this for years, though. 

becunning2

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_friday-confessional?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:836ce47f-59c3-4288-9f33-aa1ed40321e1Post:e9f9c66e-bb3e-4f19-ac78-845a5c6ccc88">Re: Friday Confessional</a>:
[QUOTE]C - I think I want to get a masters in genetic counseling.  I change my mind a lot, which is part of the reason I'm scared.  I've been thinking about this for years, though. 
Posted by Elle1036[/QUOTE]

I thought about becoming a teacher for years. It was scary pulling the trigger for that too. But I'm so glad I did.

CASK85

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_friday-confessional?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:836ce47f-59c3-4288-9f33-aa1ed40321e1Post:e9f9c66e-bb3e-4f19-ac78-845a5c6ccc88">Re: Friday Confessional</a>:
[QUOTE]C - I think I want to get a masters in genetic counseling.  I change my mind a lot, which is part of the reason I'm scared.  I've been thinking about this for years, though. 
Posted by Elle1036[/QUOTE]
That sounds really awesome. I fully support getting master's level degrees. PhDs on the other hand, blow balls. <div>Edit for crappy pluralization. </div>

melmac86

I confess that at Country Thunder, this really hot guy started talking to me and bought me a beer. I had a dream about him two nights in a row. I confess that I would've accepted his invitation to see Jake Owen at the bar where this guy works if Chicago was a shorter drive from home. I confess that I've been unhappy with BF lately. We are stuck in a rut, he's been uncalled for snappy and mean and sometimes I question if this is right for me. I confess that like another poster here, I have thoughts of moving on my own once our lease is up. These confessions probably make me sound like a huge douche. Im just so confused right now. sorry if these paragraphs aren't broken up...TK mobile

Elle1036

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_friday-confessional?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:836ce47f-59c3-4288-9f33-aa1ed40321e1Post:22942ddb-7824-4df3-b009-580c3993b2d8">Re: Friday Confessional</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Friday Confessional : That sounds really awesome. I fully support getting master's level degrees. PhDs on the other hand, blow balls.  Edit for crappy pluralization. 
Posted by cschiano[/QUOTE]

I used to want a PhD, but spending 4 years as a lab assistant and observing the frustrated grad students on a daily basis pretty much beat that out of me.  It would be cool if both H and I were "Dr." though.  :)

CASK85

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_friday-confessional?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:836ce47f-59c3-4288-9f33-aa1ed40321e1Post:520a97f6-0a25-4b88-be1b-f02112b85e04">Re: Friday Confessional</a>:
[QUOTE]Confessions:  I am the heaviest I have EVER been right now. H and I can't have sex because of my recovery and I hate it.  I may have seduced him last night anyway. After reading your confessions,<strong> I feel kinda bad because we have sex 3 or more times a week.</strong> I confess I've been a useless blob this week.
Posted by hellotarra[/QUOTE]
Don't feel bad. That is great!<div>And don't feel bad for me. . . whenever we do it is really awesome. But we just never get around to it for some reason. </div>

becunning2

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_friday-confessional?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:836ce47f-59c3-4288-9f33-aa1ed40321e1Post:accb271e-6e5b-4f2f-9cec-3336a0458cfa">Re:Friday Confessional</a>:
[QUOTE]I confess that like another poster here, I have thoughts of moving on my own once our lease is up. These confessions probably make me sound like a huge douche. Im just so confused right now.
Posted by melmac86[/QUOTE]

We can be co-presidents of the confuzzled club.

Elle1036

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_friday-confessional?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:836ce47f-59c3-4288-9f33-aa1ed40321e1Post:accb271e-6e5b-4f2f-9cec-3336a0458cfa">Re:Friday Confessional</a>:
[QUOTE]I confess that at Country Thunder, this really hot guy started talking to me and bought me a beer. I had a dream about him two nights in a row. I confess that I would've accepted his invitation to see Jake Owen at the bar where this guy works if Chicago was a shorter drive from home. sorry if the paragraphs aren't broken up...TK mobile I confess that I've been unhappy with BF lately. We are stuck in a rut, he's been uncalled for snappy and mean and sometimes I question if this is right for me. I confess that like another poster here, I have thoughts of moving on my own once our lease is up. These confessions probably make me sound like a huge douche. Im just so confused right now.
Posted by melmac86[/QUOTE]

Sorry you guys are having relationship troubles.  Obvious question:  have you tried talking to him about it?

motoLyn

Elle-don't be scared, you got to go for it.  Its always worse in your head than what's reality.  You will get into a grad school I know that.

CS- Though I haven't been in a PhD program I can understand the lack of motivation.  When I got to the end of my Masters program I was at the point where I just didn't care anymore.  It was so much work and stress that brought me there I wanted to quit.  BUT I had shelled out so much money I was bitter to walk away.  So I had to make it over that hump.  Find that desire to kick ass and take names later.

Confession: I have my period now, but for a brief moment I was hoping that I would be pregnant since I had to start a new pack in the middle of my last pack due to issues and they tell you use back up in the first week of pills. Yeah.... we didn't. Logically now is not the time for Behbehs.

Confession: I'm feeling insecure about my relationships with friends.  I worry I'm just some secondary person.

Confession: I'm scared to find a new job, what happens if I don't find one and get stuck at my current job for the next 20 years.  I feel like my skill set is not what the future employer is looking for and the older I get the less likely I'll find a new job because they'll hire that younger applicant with the updated knowledge and skills.

skepticals

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_friday-confessional?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:836ce47f-59c3-4288-9f33-aa1ed40321e1Post:accb271e-6e5b-4f2f-9cec-3336a0458cfa">Re:Friday Confessional</a>:
[QUOTE]I confess that at Country Thunder, this really hot guy started talking to me and bought me a beer. I had a dream about him two nights in a row. I confess that I would've accepted his invitation to see Jake Owen at the bar where this guy works if Chicago was a shorter drive from home. sorry if the paragraphs aren't broken up...TK mobile I confess that I've been unhappy with BF lately. We are stuck in a rut, he's been uncalled for snappy and mean and sometimes I question if this is right for me. I confess that like another poster here, I have thoughts of moving on my own once our lease is up. These confessions probably make me sound like a huge douche. Im just so confused right now.
Posted by melmac86[/QUOTE]

<div>You dont sound like a huge douche, I confess Ive been feeling a bit like that myself. Im going to be going into a really difficult course starting soon and I almost want to move out on my own until its done.</div><div>BF has a habit of getting my hopes up about making big changes and getting healthy, but when I try and encourage him and help him, he gets really distant and mad at me (and then, of course, he doesnt follow through). I often wonder if its right for me as well.</div><div>
</div><div>Have you talked to him about his snappiness? Does he know he makes you feel down?</div>

becunning2

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_friday-confessional?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:836ce47f-59c3-4288-9f33-aa1ed40321e1Post:67ebeb2e-6dc9-4d74-a3d7-0b3f263f8835">Re: Friday Confessional</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Friday Confessional : He has a blog?  Wanna FB or PM the link to me?  ;)
Posted by hellotarra[/QUOTE]

You have been facebooked. I am very, very lame.

Another confession:

We've emailed several times. All strictly friendly stuff. Except he said I was awesome. You know, because...

Confession:

I'm awesome.

Swazzle

I confess that I'm starting to think that I have body image/self-esteem issues and I'm not really sure what to do about that. 

I confess that I've been getting super annoyed with my vendors when they don't email me back within a day or two. I don't have patience pants but apparently I need to buy some. 

I confess that I would kill for a brownie sundae right now. 

CASK85

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_friday-confessional?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:836ce47f-59c3-4288-9f33-aa1ed40321e1Post:22a78f18-210b-4fca-92a6-e52d2d2198af">Re: Friday Confessional</a>:
[QUOTE] Confession: I'm feeling insecure about my relationships with friends.  I worry I'm just some secondary person. 
Posted by motoLyn[/QUOTE]
If we lived closer I'm pretty sure you'd be one of my best friends. 

Elle1036

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_friday-confessional?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:836ce47f-59c3-4288-9f33-aa1ed40321e1Post:eb69db1e-444c-4586-8ae5-e2146ba9d750">Re: Friday Confessional</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Friday Confessional : I thought about becoming a teacher for years. It was scary pulling the trigger for that too. But I'm so glad I did.
Posted by becunning2[/QUOTE]

I'm just scared that I might be making the wrong decision by doing something science oriented.  I'm not an MD right now because I was sick of science and cancelled my med school apps at the last second.  What if I get halfway through this program and the same feeling takes over?

melmac86

Becunning im in! If only someone could give us all the right answers. Elle I haven't yet. Im scared. I don't know what to say or where to start. Princess I've told him that he really hurts my feelings and I don't deserve to be treated that way. He says sorry, but I don't feel its sincere. One day he can say sorry and the next day he can be mean all over again. I feel myself slipping away emotionally more and more each time there's a fight. I know people will suggest counseling, but I need to figure out first what I even want.

Elle1036

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_friday-confessional?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:836ce47f-59c3-4288-9f33-aa1ed40321e1Post:52b1f63c-5a1e-4550-be65-55323f1ec6ab">Re: Friday Confessional</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>I confess that I'm starting to think that I have body image/self-esteem issues and I'm not really sure what to do about that.</strong>  I confess that I've been getting super annoyed with my vendors when they don't email me back within a day or two. I don't have patience pants but apparently I need to buy some.  I confess that I would kill for a brownie sundae right now. 
Posted by rdr716[/QUOTE]

I confess the same, except I <em>know</em> I have those issues.

dewingedpixie

Confession: I hate both presidential canidates and the polorization going on right now.

Confession: I am sick of hearing about the whole Chick-fil-a thing. Two groups on a high horse with poking sticks only make for jousting it does not make for a change in anything.

Confession: The less meat I eat the less interested in meat I become. Yet I still worry that I'll miss meat if I completely give it up or that I'll have issues dietary wise due to my other restrictions.

becunning2

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_friday-confessional?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:836ce47f-59c3-4288-9f33-aa1ed40321e1Post:e3a5553f-c540-42c1-a526-31333f3bf02c">Re: Friday Confessional</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Friday Confessional : I'm just scared that I might be making the wrong decision by doing something science oriented.  I'm not an MD right now because I was sick of science and cancelled my med school apps at the last second.  What if I get halfway through this program and the same feeling takes over?
Posted by Elle1036[/QUOTE]

I understand your fears. I left a graduate program in English after a year. I wasn't happy doing it, but I wasn't happy at my job either and something had to change. Teaching had always, always, always been a strong tickle at the back of my brain. I spent a lot of time looking at every option I thought might POSSIBLY interest me from law school to social work to teaching to other editing jobs. There were lots of Hermione-esque color-coded charts. But I finally decided to pull the trigger. You have to trust yourself to know what's best for you. That includes starting something--and stopping something if it's not working out.

Do you regret your decision to leave off the MD?

skepticals

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_friday-confessional?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:836ce47f-59c3-4288-9f33-aa1ed40321e1Post:374b8750-a1e9-496b-a962-7e63816ced65">Re:Friday Confessional</a>:
[QUOTE]Becunning im in! If only someone could give us all the right answers. Elle I haven't yet. Im scared. I don't know what to say or where to start. Princess I've told him that he really hurts my feelings and I don't deserve to be treated that way. He says sorry, but I don't feel its sincere. <strong>One day he can say sorry and the next day he can be mean all over again</strong>. I feel myself slipping away emotionally more and more each time there's a fight. I know people will suggest counseling, but I need to figure out first what I even want.
Posted by melmac86[/QUOTE]

<div>That sounds like hes just trying to shake you off, and doesnt want to put in the effort to watch himself and change his behavior. Its really sad that hes treating you this way, and I can understand why you would be slipping away; I would too if the person who is supposed to be my best friend were repeatedly being mean to me.</div><div>What drew you to him in the first place? What has changed about him? </div>

motoLyn

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_friday-confessional?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:836ce47f-59c3-4288-9f33-aa1ed40321e1Post:2887f3b5-56a2-47d8-8e53-6fd49d5df7e4">Re: Friday Confessional</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Friday Confessional : If we lived closer I'm pretty sure you'd be one of my best friends. 
Posted by cschiano[/QUOTE]

Thanks C.  I'm sure we yucking it up together.  I miss having friends that I could see more often or at least talk to more often.  I confess its partially my fault I should call or write others more often.  But sometimes when I talk to them or hear something about them from someone else I feel like I'm left behind.

skepticals

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_friday-confessional?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:836ce47f-59c3-4288-9f33-aa1ed40321e1Post:32a2c349-1901-4f42-8618-31c3c37a9ff2">Re: Friday Confessional</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Friday Confessional : I understand your fears. I left a graduate program in English after a year. I wasn't happy doing it, but I wasn't happy at my job either and something had to change. Teaching had always, always, always been a strong tickle at the back of my brain. I spent a lot of time looking at every option I thought might POSSIBLY interest me from law school to social work to teaching to other editing jobs. <strong>There were lots of Hermione-esque color-coded charts</strong>. But I finally decided to pull the trigger. You have to trust yourself to know what's best for you. That includes starting something--and stopping something if it's not working out. Do you regret your decision to leave off the MD?
Posted by becunning2[/QUOTE]

<div>Win.</div>

Elle1036

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_friday-confessional?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:836ce47f-59c3-4288-9f33-aa1ed40321e1Post:32a2c349-1901-4f42-8618-31c3c37a9ff2">Re: Friday Confessional</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Friday Confessional : I understand your fears. I left a graduate program in English after a year. I wasn't happy doing it, but I wasn't happy at my job either and something had to change. Teaching had always, always, always been a strong tickle at the back of my brain. I spent a lot of time looking at every option I thought might POSSIBLY interest me from law school to social work to teaching to other editing jobs. There were lots of Hermione-esque color-coded charts. But I finally decided to pull the trigger. You have to trust yourself to know what's best for you. That includes starting something--and stopping something if it's not working out. <strong>Do you regret your decision to leave off the MD?</strong>
Posted by becunning2[/QUOTE]

Not at all.  I'm 100% sure it was the right decision.  I regret the <em>way </em>it happened, though.  I kept ignoring my doubts and refusing to face reality until I had a major life crisis and shut down completely.  I actually failed a class that semester; the only class I've ever failed in my entire life.  I wish I had been honest with myself from the beginning so I could have handled it better.

I'm trying to do it right this time, but I'm honestly just so unsure about the career.  There are too many freaking options out there.

tuarceatha

I confess I still need to think of and purchase gifts for the bridal party and my parents.

I confess I'm so freaking excited for change. New name. New home.

I had another good confession this morning, but I can't think of it now

becunning2

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_friday-confessional?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:836ce47f-59c3-4288-9f33-aa1ed40321e1Post:92eb143d-71c3-458a-8115-a65b1b4725e3">Re: Friday Confessional</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Friday Confessional : Not at all.  I'm 100% sure it was the right decision.  I regret the way it happened, though.  I kept ignoring my doubts and refusing to face reality until I had a major life crisis and shut down completely.  I actually failed a class that semester; the only class I've ever failed in my entire life.  I wish I had been honest with myself from the beginning so I could have handled it better. I'm trying to do it right this time, but I'm honestly just so unsure about the career.  There are too many freaking options out there.
Posted by Elle1036[/QUOTE]

That makes sense. All I can say, is start investigating career paths that interest you. Look at programs, costs, career earnings, career life descriptions, jobs where you'd like to live... do some hardcore research on all the different areas that interest you. You don't have to make a decision today, but gather lots of information so you can make a good one in the future. There are LOTS of options, so take your time and evaluate them. Maybe you'll find yourself leaning further to one than another and you'll feel comfortable hitting "go for launch."

doubleSS07

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_friday-confessional?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:836ce47f-59c3-4288-9f33-aa1ed40321e1Post:d107166f-6d8c-4f0b-a687-4302f9b7e245">Re:Friday Confessional</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Friday Confessional : We can be co-presidents of the confuzzled club.
Posted by becunning2[/QUOTE]

I would officially like to apply to be a member of this club.

I confess that I am 50/50 on whether to stay with BF.  I also confess that I sway one way or another depending on whether I am with him or alone.  I hate my life right now and wish I could just make a chioce and be sure it was the right one.

dewingedpixie

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_friday-confessional?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:836ce47f-59c3-4288-9f33-aa1ed40321e1Post:0d0b5bdc-0fe8-4886-857e-76a68102000f">Re: Friday Confessional</a>:
[QUOTE]I confess I still need to think of and purchase gifts for the bridal party and my parents.
Posted by jenjenniferf[/QUOTE]

Amazon prime is your friend.

becunning2

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_friday-confessional?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:836ce47f-59c3-4288-9f33-aa1ed40321e1Post:503518d5-e1e7-4361-ae70-fa66a7326dec">Re:Friday Confessional</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Friday Confessional : I would officially like to apply to be a member of this club. I confess that I am 50/50 on whether to stay with BF.  I also confess that I sway one way or another depending on whether I am with him or alone.  I hate my life right now and wish I could just make a chioce and be sure it was the right one.
Posted by doubleSS07[/QUOTE]

For starters, there's no application. Applications would unnecessarily confuse would-be members who are already confuzzled.

For seconds, I hear you. When I'm with boyfriend, I want it to work out. When I'm not, I'm wondering. Find some time to yourself where you can get some clarity.