I know cash bars are a big no-no in most places, if not all, but I was under the impression that offering beer and wine only was alright, and if there's a separate bar somewhere else at the venue and the guest is that determined to drink liquor that they'd go find it, they can pay for it themselves. The church's wedding planner (who my mom has hired to help plan my entire wedding even though I told her it's not necessary - one of those lovely strings attached with not paying for our own wedding) convinced my mom this morning that it's tacky and rude to offer only beer and wine and make people pay for their own liquor if they want it, so now my mom is all up in arms about adding the liquor to the cost of the reception, and I was trying really hard to stay under the budget she set because I don't want to use it all if it's not necessary (and it's not!)
So the poll question is: Is it tacky to provide guests with beer and wine only in the reception room, and if they want liquor they are welcome to walk down the hall at the club and order from the bar and pay for it themselves? Or should alcohol at a wedding be an all-or-nothing deal?
Married Bio

My first love.
Me: 31 DH: 30
TTC since 10/2010.
2012: HSG showed unicornuate uterus on right side; both kidneys and both ovaries present. High risk for preterm labor, IUGR, and C-Section. Dx'd Hypothyroidism.
1st BFP: 10/27/12, cycle before we had planned to see RE
Pregnancy Blog
Re: Open bar poll
I do NOT like cash bars, but do not consider this to be a cash bar. This is a bar outside of your wedding.
IMO, I would talk to your mom and have her do some research. It's not tacky to not have an open bar and you shouldn't feel bad about not having one of you can't stay in your budget. If she is determined, maybe you could curb it to the cocktail hour? OR she can up her budget constraints for you.
Unless you count my cheap wine in the fridge.
Married Bio
Me: 31 DH: 30
TTC since 10/2010. 2012: HSG showed unicornuate uterus on right side; both kidneys and both ovaries present. High risk for preterm labor, IUGR, and C-Section. Dx'd Hypothyroidism.
1st BFP: 10/27/12, cycle before we had planned to see RE
Pregnancy Blog
I also like the idea of having one or two signature drinks if it is something your budget allows.
I don't think it's tacky to offer beer and wine only but I know that it absolutly would not fly with my family who can't manage a social gathering with out vodka. So I guess it would just depend on your guests.
"Popular on the internetz..."
Canada is kind of like a whole other world with new things to discover that us americans only dream of. - Narwhal
Paige I would like to profess my love for you and your brilliant mind. - breezerb
Murried Bio
Unfortunately, what I was planning was not on the sheet from the reception venue that I received when I got home last night (that my mom and the wedding planner received earlier that day, hence the freak-out that I didn't understand where their remarks were coming from.) What the reception venue had written on our estimate was "hosted bar - beer/wine" and then underneath it "cash bar - liquor," as if they were going to be in the same room! I had a mini-heart attack and then called my mom and apologized and told her I'd call the reception venue and fix it today. Apparently the problem occurred because when I told the venue "we will have beer/wine open, and if the guests want liquor they can pay for it themselves at the bar down the hall" that translated into just "we will have beer/wine open, and if the guests want liquor they can pay for it themselves and you guys can just set up a table in the reception hall because there is no option for people who aren't members of the club to use the bar down the hall." YIKES!
So yea, we're running the numbers to see if we can add in the liquor, because I think it would be a nice touch. The liquor drinks are only $1 more per drink than wine/beer at this place, and in my experience, if people are drinking to get drunk (which I know some will, but I'm hoping they'll still have a good time and not just drink themselves into oblivion), they're going to drink LOADS more wine/beer than they will liquor, so maybe it'll all even out, or at least be negligible. If it's a big change in budget, we're just going with a hosted beer/wine bar, and not even telling people about the bar down the hall (since they can't use it apparently). So...lots of stress with my mom over a misunderstanding with the reception venue. ::sigh::
Married Bio
Me: 31 DH: 30
TTC since 10/2010. 2012: HSG showed unicornuate uterus on right side; both kidneys and both ovaries present. High risk for preterm labor, IUGR, and C-Section. Dx'd Hypothyroidism.
1st BFP: 10/27/12, cycle before we had planned to see RE
Pregnancy Blog
BTW- I have never ever been to a wedding with an open bar here. ever.
What you said makes it sound as if I was expecting guests to walk to a different building or something, which yes, I agree, would be tacky.
What I actually meant, and perhaps I should've made it clearer by elaborating, was that the reception venue is the ballroom of a country club. There is a bar in another room of the country club that is literally less than a 15 second walk from the ballroom where I thought guests could go to get liquor drinks.
Of course, that assumption was wrong, so now it's a moot point anyway. We'll either have an open bar with beer/wine only or full open if it doesn't bust the budget.
Married Bio
Me: 31 DH: 30
TTC since 10/2010. 2012: HSG showed unicornuate uterus on right side; both kidneys and both ovaries present. High risk for preterm labor, IUGR, and C-Section. Dx'd Hypothyroidism.
1st BFP: 10/27/12, cycle before we had planned to see RE
Pregnancy Blog