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Hello Lovelies

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Re: Hello Lovelies

  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_hello-lovelies?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:9f06fbda-e3a3-415f-8fd3-79d598f56b8fPost:be8eda80-fb0d-4fb9-84a7-00967a451eb8">Re: Hello Lovelies</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Hello Lovelies : You're right.  It's just so frustrating to sit back and watch her stay with/constantly go back to someone who beats her.  Each time it gets worse, I think "This is it...she'll finally leave him" and then she never does.  He's given her two black eyes, he's split her lip, he's broken her ribs, and she just keeps going back.  I know she'll only leave when she's ready to...but honestly, I have no idea what will drive her to leave if she hasn't left by now.
    Posted by loves2shop4shoes[/QUOTE]

    I understand the frustration. I've watched people I love stay in relationships when they should have ran for the hills... I stayed in a relationship when I knew I should have ran and never looked back... When you're in it, it's hard... but luckily for him, he never put his hands on me!! You really just need to focus on your own life and relationships and let your cousin deal with it on her own. Eventually, one day, she'll wake up... There's really nothing you can do about it.

    The only thing that might drive her to leave is having the police raid her house. When she gets out of jail she'll realize that she needs to make better decisions.
  • hetshuphetshup member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    To answer your question. When you figure it out, let me know. I also have HUGlE issues with boundries. I am currently in al-anon to help me explore those boundries. It's not really a secret, but it's super weird. Overall, I think you are a really good, kind person. You just are maybe not the best communicator. It's really best to take some time for you and get you healthy with  your crazy life. Let school be first along with the hubs, and the wedding second.
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_hello-lovelies?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:9f06fbda-e3a3-415f-8fd3-79d598f56b8fPost:2a27959b-5e4d-48c9-96f3-fdc5bd0ad234">hello lovelies</a>:
    [QUOTE]To answer your question. When you figure it out, let me know. I also have HUGlE issues with boundries. I am currently in al-anon to help me explore those boundries. It's not really a secret, but it's super weird. Overall, I think you are a really good, kind person. You just are maybe not the best communicator. It's really best to take some time for you and get you healthy with  your crazy life. Let school be first along with the hubs, and the wedding second.
    Posted by hetshup[/QUOTE]

    <div>My therapist suggested al-anon to me last week, but I told him I feel silly since the main familial issues don't involve alcohol.  Do all people who go to al-anon have issues stemming from alcoholism in the family, or is it a mix?</div>
  • edited December 2011
    I didn't mean to sound like I thought the email you sent your dad caused him to act cold and business-like. I meant that your email didn't treat him any better than that.

    If you want someone to treat you with respect, you treat them with respect first. If you want someone to treat you with kindness, you show them kindness. If you want someone to trust you, you need to trust them.

    You have to be the bigger person sometimes... and in that situation, I feel like you were very hard on him and certainly not treating him the way you are saying you'd like to be treated.
    Anniversary
  • paintgirlpaintgirl member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    Shoes I'm glad you went to see a professional. I hope the medication helps you find some peace.

    As far as the rest of it, these are all adults, right? As hard as it is to do, let it go. Let them live their lives, make their mistakes, and live with the consequences. It might sound cruel but you owe it to yourself to live YOUR life - without the ongoing preoccupation with other people's problems.
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