I wasn't sure exactly where to post this. I told my boyfriend over a year ago that I wanted to get married and I never felt like he took it seriously. We were living together at the time and I ended up moving out. We've had some rough moments since then, but we both feel like our relationship is getting better. We have an almost 2 year old together and my boyfriend misses him terribly, especially since we live several states away.
The past few months he'd been begging me to move back in with him and I told him that I wanted to be married first, and he said he wasn't ready yet. I told him that I wanted to be with him for the rest of my life, and if he didn't, then I definitely wasn't going to waste money moving back in with him. We both held our ground, but over the weekend he finally told me he was ready to go to the courthouse and get married.
I'd always dreamed of a big wedding, with a perfect proposal and having everything done the traditional way. I've lowered my standards a lot for him, by saying that I was ok with a quick courthouse wedding, BUT I did want to have my rings. He got angry and said I was the most difficult person ever. He says we should get rings "later" and worry about moving costs first. I agree that finding a place to live is important, but so is my happiness. He's done things for his ex's (such as fancy gifts and flowers) that he won't do for me, and I've settled for it, but I'm refusing to get married without rings. My dad got my mom a "starter" ring and said he'd buy one later, and 20+ years later, she still has the same ring.
Since being with my boyfriend, I've learned that he procrasinates on everything, until he knows there will be consequences to not getting it done. I feel like there will always be something more important than buying rings, and he will never get them. I talked to him about us splitting the cost of the ring, and I told him that some of the websites I've looked at, offer payment plans, and he seems a little bit more on board with it.
I just hope I'm not being crazy by saying I won't move in with him until we are married with rings. He says he doesn't want to wait even longer to be away from his family, and I don't either, but I told him I've had to wait over a year for him to even consider marrying me, but he says that isn't the same because he wasn't ready. I've told him that I'm trying hard to compromise with him (by being ok with a corthouse wedding and by offering to pay for half of my ring) but he still says I'm being controlling and demanding.