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what do u do when ur parents or family dont know that ur engaged to someone that u have been with for 5 months its killing me i want to tell them but cant cause they dont like the guy and yet they dont even know him
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Re: help

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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_help-54?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:7adc4458-ba01-4e38-beec-8ac7fb0dfc02Post:e3743d71-a756-403e-b00a-d5ad422ea207">help</a>:
    [QUOTE]what do u do when ur parents or family dont know that ur engaged to someone that u have been with for 5 months its killing me i want to tell them but cant cause they dont like the guy and yet they dont even know him
    Posted by amber mcpherson[/QUOTE]

    You have an adult, calm, conversation with your family and let them know. Lying about something like an engagement or marriage never ends well.

    Why don't they like him?
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_help-54?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:7adc4458-ba01-4e38-beec-8ac7fb0dfc02Post:0923bdc8-2438-418d-97e3-f0effa4055dc">Re: help</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to help : I'm going to guess you're 13 and this is a joke.  FWIW my parents hated my BF when I was 13 too.
    Posted by LingerLonger1[/QUOTE]

    i aint 13 i am 18 an this aint a joke
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_help-54?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:7adc4458-ba01-4e38-beec-8ac7fb0dfc02Post:0b05f1d0-9ba7-4719-967c-94c47192ee4f">Re: help</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: help : That's not any better.
    Posted by LingerLonger1[/QUOTE]

    yea i know it sucks big time
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_help-54?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:7adc4458-ba01-4e38-beec-8ac7fb0dfc02Post:1160a276-1095-45ed-8b43-53c4ca6c0f0c">Re: help</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: help : That's probably because they speak English and you speak some sort of half-word non-language.  They probably just want you to stay in English class a few more semesters.
    Posted by LingerLonger1[/QUOTE]

    ur no help
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_help-54?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:7adc4458-ba01-4e38-beec-8ac7fb0dfc02Post:e2a2571b-b536-4fbf-9588-a07ba3594e7f">Re: help</a>:
    [QUOTE]
    Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

    i agree parents dont understand at all
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_help-54?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:7adc4458-ba01-4e38-beec-8ac7fb0dfc02Post:b336cbd1-c08a-439c-b02f-d734f4ce5433">Re: help</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: help : It's okay.  In a few years you'll be in your 20s.  Then it won't suck so bad.
    Posted by LingerLonger1[/QUOTE]

    for the lst dang time i aint 13 i am 18 i was born apirl 20th 1994 aka national weed day
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_help-54?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:7adc4458-ba01-4e38-beec-8ac7fb0dfc02Post:355be039-0c1a-4dae-adfd-5d1fd2cfdb60">Re: help</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: help : for the lst dang time i aint 13 i am 18 i was born apirl 20th 1994 aka national weed day
    Posted by amber mcpherson[/QUOTE]

    <div>I wouldn't go bragging about that...</div><div>
    </div><div>But honestly, you're 18, and you're engaged to a guy your parents don't approve of. It's been my personal experience that if parents don't approve of someone, it's for a reason, and they usually end up being right. </div><div>
    </div><div>But like I said, you're 18, and you've only been with him for 5 months. My best advice to you would be this: Don't be engaged at this age. You haven't even had a chance to go out and experience the real world. Don't be in such a rush, and take the time to grow up a little (or a lot). </div>
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_help-54?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:7adc4458-ba01-4e38-beec-8ac7fb0dfc02Post:355be039-0c1a-4dae-adfd-5d1fd2cfdb60">Re: help</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: help : for the lst dang time i aint 13 i am 18 i was born apirl 20th 1994 aka national weed day
    Posted by amber mcpherson[/QUOTE]

    I'm going to go ahead and call 'Troll'.
    If that isn't the case, please pay more attention in English class. Also, listen to your parents.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_help-54?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:7adc4458-ba01-4e38-beec-8ac7fb0dfc02Post:d6da6d48-ae8b-4822-822a-47aa02157d22">Re: help</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: help : I wouldn't go bragging about that... But honestly, you're 18, and you're engaged to a guy your parents don't approve of. It's been my personal experience that if parents don't approve of someone, it's for a reason, and they usually end up being right.  But like I said, you're 18, and you've only been with him for 5 months. My best advice to you would be this: Don't be engaged at this age. You haven't even had a chance to go out and experience the real world. Don't be in such a rush, and take the time to grow up a little (or a lot). 
    Posted by sonya+adam[/QUOTE]

    i work for a lawyer, I love this guy and plus my parentsz have never liked anyone i have dated over the years an they treat me like crap an i hardly have time for myself cause i am always cleaning 2 houses and working everyday of the week i had to leave school so i could help my grandma and grandpa around the house so talk to me bout growing up! i know what i want in my life an its him yea i can be a lil childish but i dont take crap from no one an my family dont know whats best for me yea i am 18 but i have been looking out for myself since i was a lil girl kindergarden
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_help-54?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:7adc4458-ba01-4e38-beec-8ac7fb0dfc02Post:43931be4-9429-4063-bb6b-08b8903b7aa6">Re: help</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: help : Shhh no.  Let us play with it for a while.  Eventually the gem will fall out of her tummy and she won't be fun anymore.
    Posted by LingerLonger1[/QUOTE]

    I love you! This made my day. . thanks :)
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_help-54?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:7adc4458-ba01-4e38-beec-8ac7fb0dfc02Post:5d5ff814-38b2-4345-8998-93d4179d58ec">Re: help</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: help : You're right.  You're so mature.  Please prove it to us some more.
    Posted by LingerLonger1[/QUOTE]

    Your so sarcastic you know that i am happy with my baby austin he makes me happy and we have been engaged for 5 months we have been together for longer then that so yeah!
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_help-54?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:7adc4458-ba01-4e38-beec-8ac7fb0dfc02Post:43931be4-9429-4063-bb6b-08b8903b7aa6">Re: help</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: help : Shhh no.  Let us play with it for a while.  <strong>Eventually the gem will fall out of her tummy and she won't be fun anymore.
    </strong>Posted by LingerLonger1[/QUOTE]

    I just spit water all over my keyboard and computer monitor!  Luckily no permanent damage was done :)

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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_help-54?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:7adc4458-ba01-4e38-beec-8ac7fb0dfc02Post:e3687504-75ae-4a92-b35c-23e299e1a473">Re: help</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: help : My so sarcastic what?
    Posted by LingerLonger1[/QUOTE]
     
    just wondering why are you being a ass towards me?
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_help-54?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:7adc4458-ba01-4e38-beec-8ac7fb0dfc02Post:7716d919-a09e-4e18-8899-6af123e28bef">Re: help</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: help : i work for a lawyer, I love this guy and plus my parentsz have never liked anyone i have dated over the years an they treat me like crap an i hardly have time for myself cause i am always cleaning 2 houses and working everyday of the week i had to leave school so i could help my grandma and grandpa around the house so talk to me bout growing up! i know what i want in my life an its him yea i can be a lil childish but<strong> i dont take crap from no one</strong> an my family dont know whats best for me yea i am 18 but i have been looking out for myself since i was a lil girl kindergarden
    Posted by amber mcpherson[/QUOTE]

    I always find that most mature conversations have this sentence somewhere. Thank you for remembering this.
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    edited October 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_help-54?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:7adc4458-ba01-4e38-beec-8ac7fb0dfc02Post:221c924c-eb76-4846-ace2-cb1424df48a7">Re: help</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: help : There goes the Sobe! ;-) OP- I'm being an ass because it annoys me when children think marriage and adulthood is just playing house.  You will learn eventually I just hope it's before you make a big mistake and marry someone that ends up being totally wrong for you.
    Posted by LingerLonger1[/QUOTE]

    please dont call me a child i am asking nicely an i know its not like playing house i really do love this guy with all my heart and he really loves me with all his heart!
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_help-54?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:7adc4458-ba01-4e38-beec-8ac7fb0dfc02Post:608c2eaf-58ec-4916-8dd3-94520232a992">Re: help</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: help : <strong>me an him go through alot of crap everyday</strong> but we always work through it together we always work through it an try our hardest not to give up on each other marriage is about working together an not giving up on the other person!!
    Posted by amber mcpherson[/QUOTE]

    RedFlag.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_help-54?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:7adc4458-ba01-4e38-beec-8ac7fb0dfc02Post:c0970b6c-eacb-4efc-9644-84ba3dbcdbf3">Re: help</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: help : what?
    Posted by amber mcpherson[/QUOTE]

    You said you two go through a lot of crap, everyday. What kind of 'crap' are we talking about here?

    Also, your profile says 2015. That's probably a better year.
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    If you both love each other so much and are both adults then why the need of acceptance from your family.  The thing about being adults is we can make our own choices without any input from anyone.  Will your parents telling you that they think you are crazy for marrying such a crappy guy going to affect anything?  If not, then tell your family about your engagement and go on your merry way.

    Also, I read in one of your previous posts that you work in a lawyers office...I am hoping your grammar, spelling and punctuation are far better there then they are here.  A lot of times when posters write on the boards in crappy english it really highlights their lack of maturity because a mature adult would write properly.  And writing properly is just overall easier to read.

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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_help-54?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:7adc4458-ba01-4e38-beec-8ac7fb0dfc02Post:c657297e-a1c8-438f-aeb0-6a27a0d5960d">Re: help</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: help : i am being nice <strong>okay please dont piss me off</strong> i am having a good day. But look we really do love each other.
    Posted by amber mcpherson[/QUOTE]

    <div>You won't like her when she's angry..</div><div>
    </div><div>Couldn't resist.</div><div>
    </div><div>OP- First, you work for a lawyer and you spell like <em>that</em>? I'm not buying it. Second, if you go through a lot of crap with him everyday, doesn't that sound like trouble to you? Because it does to me. Something tells me that he is older than you. Maybe that's why your parents don't approve. </div>
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    OP, more than anything, just take some time and slow down before planning a wedding. If you love each other now, you will love each other in a year, and you can truly assess whether or not you are ready to get married. I think very few 18 year olds, no matter what you have been through, are ready to get married. Even if they have found the right person, it's usually wise to wait it out with that person before getting married. No rush, see what I mean?
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_help-54?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:7adc4458-ba01-4e38-beec-8ac7fb0dfc02Post:c657297e-a1c8-438f-aeb0-6a27a0d5960d">Re: help</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: help : i am being nice okay please dont piss me off i am having a good day. But look we <strong>really do love each other</strong>.
    Posted by amber mcpherson[/QUOTE]

    If you REALLY love each other, just get married and just don't tell anyone.  But, only if you REALLY REALLY love each other.  If you only LOVE each other, without the REALLY... then, you should break up immediately.
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    If you can't even tell you parents you are engaged then you are not mature enough to be engaged.
    Its not the destination so much as the journey, they say. - Captain Jack Sparrow Wedding Countdown Ticker
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    edited October 2012
    Okay, I couldn't figure out which pp I wanted to quote here so many things:

    1. You're too young to get the whole "parents just don't understand" reference.

    2. If you don't want people to be an ass to you or piss you off then a couple things should happen. You should not be so damn sensitive and you should stop seeking advice from strangers on the internet. If it pisses you off, get off the thread and let it go. These are things that you learn when you grow up for real.

    3. Nearly all of my graduating class got married before they hit 20( that was 360 people). To high school sweethearts, college flings, what have you. 2/3 of that group that got married are also now divorced because marraige and life is not what they had expected it to be.

    When you can get your own life in order and not complain about the things that had to be done to get there (drop out to help your grandparents, clean 2 houses, what have you) you will realize that while these things sucked, they made you stronger and that life is hard. People, especially people close to you, will not coddle you and kiss your ass all your life.

    Good for you setting a date pretty far out. I recommend moving out on your own and seeing how well you do. Get back in school/finish school/whatever you need to do there. You may find that those struggles really do change you and your perspective on life. In that time, through all those struggles, if it's still love, then you have accomplished a lot and should be proud.

    As far as your parents not liking it: they know you better than you think. They know life and the world better than you think. And one day, you'll be saying the same things to your kids and be just as frustrated as your parents are now. Experience wins. Take the advice they give.

    Also what Tlanute said
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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    On the off chance that this is a real thing, it's not the smartest idea to post your full name and birthdate on a public forum. 

    How old is your "fiance"?
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_help-54?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:7adc4458-ba01-4e38-beec-8ac7fb0dfc02Post:0b0d8211-608c-426b-8256-dd73ce2704c0">Re: help</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: help : Please remember she will not be graded on this thread Maggie. <strong> If there's no grade being given there's no point in ritein dem werds propur
    </strong>Posted by LingerLonger1[/QUOTE]

    What?!?!?  No grading allowed?  Aw schucks that sucks!

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    Okay, so assuming that this is a legit post ...

    OP, you need to grow up. Getting on an internet forum and using such poor spelling and grammar is a tip off that you're young and inexperienced. Guess what? We all txt too, but we don't spell like it here. Go back to school. It's worth it for so many reasons, not just spelling online!

    (I find it really hard to believe that someone this young and uneducated works in a lawyer's office - here they won't look at you without a degree or diploma.)

    Agree with PP. Your parents know you better than you think, and if there's a reason they don't like him, it probably has validity. I think there might be an age thing here too, Bridalmarch!

    Move out on your own, be an adult. Pay bills, plan a budget, be responsible for yourself before planning a life with someone else. Be like thousands of other people, get a student loan if necessary, get a second job, go to school part time. Figure out who you want to be and be that person.

    Don't rush into a marriage to prove your parents wrong; you will most likely prove them right.

    And finally ...

    don't post things and expect not to be called on them.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_help-54?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:7adc4458-ba01-4e38-beec-8ac7fb0dfc02Post:62d4149b-3add-4e62-ba90-833ecfc4f1dd">Re: help</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: help : What?!?!?  No grading allowed?  Aw schucks that sucks!
    Posted by Maggie0829[/QUOTE]

    I'll grade it, Maggie, you always have excellent spelling and grammar, A+
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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    OP, I know this feels like a big deal right now, but here are some facts for you:

    1) When you start a relationship, your brain releases all kinds of fuzzy lovey feel goodey hormones, that's what gives people that "OH MY GOD I'M SO IN LOVEEE!!!!" feeling to start with.  They don't fully wear off for a year and a half to two years, but they DO wear off, and you'll have to spend the rest of your married life without them. Don't get into a marriage until you can test the waters after your biology calms down. 

    2) Love is absolutely 100% not enough.  Love is important, but it's not the only thing.  Before you get married, make sure you know you, and understand who you are and what your needs are. 

    3) Of course your parents don't like the people you've dated. I think that's pretty normal for a lot of teenagers.

    Wait on making a commitment like this (or even planning to make one) Give the relationship time, and most importantly give yourself time to become who you are.  I know it sounds really cheesy but it's true. 
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    This. Was. Entertaining. Thank you OP troll for spewing your childish nonsense all over this forum.
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    Did some just steel my thunder??? Op if you cant be honest with ur familys then you r not mature enough to get married.
    Live life like its your last day!
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