Like or Dislike Your Future In Laws

j&b_bullock

I LOVE my FILs.  My FI parents are divorced so I am getting two FMILs.  Love them both to death. 

3 - FBIL And love them all.  One is kind of a "hermit" so we are not sure if he will come to the wedding. 
 
Truthfully, I do not know what I/we would do without my FI family. 

meangreengurl04

I love my FMIL...hilarious and considerate of us. FFIL (and his fiance)...um, less thrilled about. They're very nice and generous to us, but they're SO conservative. FH is conservative too, but I'm pretty liberal. I try to avoid political discussions with them at all costs, but whenever we're at their house, I still have to hear their constant close-minded opinions. They don't seem to associate with any gay or black people because of their views...sound nice, huh? So I guess I can get along with them as long as politics, sexuality, and race are not brought up....

Knottie75761403

I feel like maybe I'm not being understanding enough, but my future MIL is a little hard to handle.  Right now her boys are all she has... I know that.  Her family is back in England and she's no longer married and doesn't really have any close friends.  But she calls her boys for EVERYTHING!  There are certain things you just need to accept that YOU need to know how to do when you live on your own, but she seems completely clueless!  You can also tell that her smiling attitude toward you is sometimes just an act....  He's not really a momma's boy by any means... it seems more like we need to get HER to detach a little!

Brattie996

I don't have much of a relationship with his mother. When we first got together we were living with his parents. She would say I was lazy and using him because I didn't clean her house. If you saw her house you'd know why I stayed far away. Now she's worse! Because her marriage is failing she's making everything for us miserable. Miserable isn't really the word, I can't think of a better one right now. He and I have agreed to have out wedding in the middle of where we're both from. Apparently she didn't get that memo and has been trying to convince him to have the wedding even further north than we already are.
His father is cool even with everything going on. Yet like normal people the two of them argue but he tries to help us out whenever he can.
I now like his sister because she's lightened up some since her seperation from her husband. Plus she's not allowing her mother to manipulate her opinion about me.

kkhoban

I have been very fortunate both in my previous marriage and with my upcoming one.  My ex-MIL treated me like a daughter and still does.  She has even gotten close to my FI.  FMIL has never liked any of FI's previous GF's.  But she also treats me like a duaghter.  FFIL is a riot and gets along with everybody.  I got very lucky yet again!

angiebebe915

My future father in law is great, a really funny guy...as for the future mother in law... I love her, don't get me wrong, but she dumped the news on us this past memorial day that she was getting married (for the 3rd time) 6 weeks before our long planned October wedding. So now I get to help plan her wedding too! yipee!!

jeinw001

Oh how I envy everyone who has awesome MIL or FMIL! 

I feel like I've made every effort possible to have a great relationship with my FMIL. However my FI & I are at the end of our ropes. She continually calls and texts him when she knows he's with me, and it isn't every anything important. He moved back home after he got out of the military to go to school, and she gives him NO privacy. 

She seems like she constantly has something negative to say about my parents or me. She blames me for anything she can think of. (i.e. my FI's hours were cut at work because it's summer and there's a lot of people home from college and so there's extra workers, yet she blames me for it! how is that even my fault? I'm not sure.) 

Oh, I could keep going and going and going on about the stuff she does. 

I was raised to always respect my elders. I have never once said or done anything rude to her. I honestly feel like I am going out of my way to be kind and respectful to her, but I don't know how much more I can take before I lose my sanity! (what little I have left) FI thinks she's just crazy. Every time he tries to talk to her about the way she's acting she either cries and makes excuses for herself or she gets upset with him and blames him. She doesn't even want to try to understand where he's coming from.

My FFIL doesn't really say much (the FMIL wears the pants in that relationship).

*sigh*

forevernalways90

i see what ur saying...thats how i feel. i eventually gave up and now she and her daughter hate me. its so stressful. now making me and the boy fight alot. i told him i dont want to be in fault in taking him away from his family because they are all close, but i cant stand people not liking me, especially my family to be

kangel7

I don't really like my future MIL, which makes me sad. I really got along with her so well at first, but I lived with her and worked with her for quite some time, and that took a toll on our relationship. I don't particularly like her husband (FI's step-dad), either, unfortunately.

I do, however, LOVE my FI's father, and can't wait for him to be my FIL.

debfab

My FMIL decided to divorce my FFIL 2 months after her son proposed to me, so ... our Engagement period has been fraught with the drama that she is causing in his family. On top of that, or course, she's consumed with her own life transition, so she has not participated in her son's (and my) engagement, wedding planning, etc. I do count my blessings that it is one less person to interfere with the planning, but I wish she were here for her only child, who is getting married in a few weeks...

She also came to my bridal shower without a card or a gift. I'm not materialistic, and didn't even want a shower at first because of the implied gift giving, but in the end, I felt it was sad that my FMIL didn't even acknowledge the bridal shower with a Congratulations card or anything. She didn't send us an Engagement card or take us out to celebrate, so I thought she'd at least show her excitement at the Shower...no such luck.

  She has since fled the country, and will only return for the wedding. I thought I liked her at first, but after her antics the past few months, I'm feeling like I'm on the DISLIKE side of the fence....

Mrs.Csonka

My fiance's mother passed away several years ago...and his father is a complete d-bag.  I'm a lucky girl.

leahstarrh

This is so hard. I wouldn't say that I hate my in-laws. I love them. But they are very very frustrating to me a lot of the time.

For instance. My FMIL is such a very very nice lady, and extremly caring, but sometimes a little too much. She still treats Chris who is 24 years old like he is 7 years old. Like calling him from Chicago to tell him to put his coat on because it's cold. I know it's only because she cares but really? When we moved into our new apartment I spent a few hours cutting cabinet liners to size and lining all the cupboards. I come home from work to find that she has relined EVERYTHING that I just did with liner she though was better. It's things like that, just wish she would lay off a bit and realize we are big kids.

My FFIL is also a nice man. But is pretty arrogant and seems to think that he's the best buisnessman, knows everything about everything and everyone else is wrong. He has no paticents. These things sometimes make him seem rude.

I know they are just who they are and that is fine. We get along and I think they are good parents and great people but there are plenty of traits I could do without.

AGriffin620

I have mixed feelings about my future in-laws.  I love my future mother and father in-law.  They are amazing and kind people.  I also love my future brothers and sister-in-law.  They are great people.  My future brothers-in-laws' wives, on the other hand, are another story.  We are extremely different, and for some reason, I have a VERY difficult time getting along with them.  They are constantly making my future husband and me feel horrible about ourselves.  Not good.

j&kbsits

I think it's definitely a process of getting to know another families quirks and dynamics (and them getting to know my quirks, too!). I feel their support for my FH and I, and that's the most important thing. We live about six hours away from them, too, so it's been a slow process of really getting to know them.

The best visits are when I don't feel like a guest in their house, or when we go somewhere neutral.

My fiance loves my dad, but with my mom there's definitely a complex that (I think) results from my complexes with her. Does anyone else have the same dynamic?

HeatherN78

I've never met mine!  I have talked with FMIL on the phone once, at Christmas, and she seems very, very nice.  They live many states away, so I probably won't meet them until a few days before the wedding.  FI has a good relationship with his mother, and an okay relationship with his dad, so my hopes are high that we will all get along.

Shamrockmusic

I completely dislike my future father-in-law and his wife; however, I love my future mother-in-law and her husband.  Good thing my fiance feels the same way

alinamay

i love his parents, they're amazing! i just can't stand his sister!! she is just out right negative about everything and everone! i hate being around her

kimibjcc

My future in laws hate the idea that we are getting married and have said they will not be at the wedding. Since we got engaged in Feb we have seen then 3 times and spoken to them maybe 5. They didnt even call or send a gift for our son's 2nd b-day last month.

November Bride 2010

I loved my in laws.. Since we have been renovationg a house for my in laws to move to, my mother law to be has been a total b*tch to me. She treats me like i am the dirt of the earth and anything i do is wrong. My father in law to be keeps saying sorry and hates that I feel the way I do.

How do I make her like me .... I have tried to included her in on the wedding but then she informs me that My sister in law to be had the most perfect wedding and nothing can top it. Is it because i am moving into the house that she lived in for 30 years or what?

I feel bad because my father in law does say sorry and he sees the pain I am in over it all. I feel like their marriage is failing and we cant do anything about it cause she is a total b&tch to eveyone but moslty to me.??

Help Girls Please 

unifiedrebellion

My future father in law is very sweet, mild tempered, and keeps his distance!
he's amazing to be around and even better knows where boundaries are.

My mother in law however is another case.
She has as much drama, back biting, and bs talking as a high school (possibly more).

jeinw001

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_like-dislike-future-laws?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:e26c1aa2-1bd1-4843-b6df-02c8ec9ef185Post:d7010824-c648-4f40-950b-cfa875dcdaff">Re: Like or Dislike Your Future In Laws</a>:
[QUOTE]I loved my in laws.. Since we have been renovationg a house for my in laws to move to, my mother law to be has been a total b*tch to me. She treats me like i am the dirt of the earth and anything i do is wrong. My father in law to be keeps saying sorry and hates that I feel the way I do. How do I make her like me .... I have tried to included her in on the wedding but then she informs me that My sister in law to be had the most perfect wedding and nothing can top it. Is it because i am moving into the house that she lived in for 30 years or what? I feel bad because my father in law does say sorry and he sees the pain I am in over it all. I feel like their marriage is failing and we cant do anything about it cause she is a total b&tch to eveyone but moslty to me.?? Help Girls Please 
Posted by November Bride 2010[/QUOTE]

<div>Ever heard the saying "Kill them with kindness"? I think that's the only thing you can do. my FMIL has been well... a pain... and I've given up trying to get her to like me. I just figure I can only control myself and I won't be anything less than kind. I really hope things get better for you! Hang in there and keep your head up! </div>

AprilDBradshaw

I was REALLY hoping for a cool set of inlaws...but I was disappointed. I really wished they could be like my step parents or my friends' inlaws, but the mother terrifies me (especially after our latest visit where she pinned a lecture on me about the wedding and me marrying her son etc...), and his dad teases me constantly just because I'm from the east coast (the "wrong" side of the Mississippi). I know he doesn't intend to be mean, but he's constant and I'm getting tired of it. It's "his way of showing that he likes me". Right. I'd take his silence over the teasing any day. Along with his mother. She's a teacher so all she does is yell (she speaks very loudly at ALL times). Fiance doesn't seem to notice it because he grew up with it, but after the second time I met her I had to ask if he ever noticed how loud she is. The tension I feel in their presence is overwhelming. The wedding is becoming such a rotten deal that I don't even want it anymore! Some inlaws.

rseam1

Everybody is different you will always find people in your life that you cant always get along with so just sit back relax and once you get to know the people better the love will follow the important thing is to remeber that they are important to your fiance and he loves you they love him and theyll love you too once you open the channels of communication and relax enough for them to see the beautiful person inside of you

jamie_livengood2007

I couldn't agree with you more! Reading how everyone has a great relationship just makes it worse knowing how bad mine is!

Meggy24781

My in laws live on the other side of the country in Canada- so if I didn't like them it would be very convieiniant given the distance. I believe I actually like them more than they like eachother- they got divorced over 10 years ago and sometimes act like it happened yesturday. Both of them are great and for the time being both of them respect mine and my fiance's space. Considering geography no one has a choice but to respect my space
My soon to be mom in law and I (I call her West Coast mom) both have careers in health care so we talk about our work experiances. Also since my fiance is one of three boys I believe I'm like the daughter she finally got... not wanted but got. Yes there have been some rough spots like when my fiance first started college and was failing a class. But that happens in every relationship. I've gone through having inlaws before so I'm not crazy enough to think that everything will go one way or the other.
My soon to be father in law works swing shifts and with the 3hr difference it's hard to get a hold of him. But whey I met him back in September we got along pretty well. We can pick on eachother and he takes as well as he gives.
Now I have to ask if this includes the sibling inlaws?  Because I think my sister in law (brother's wife) and I have a decent relationship since she let me practice drawing blood on her a few times when I was in phlebotomy class. My 2 soon to be brothers in law... well it's kinda odd. My youngest brother in law was in his room and hanging with his girlfriend most of the time I was in BC on holiday. But the older one seemed okay... however he has a lot of personal issues.

Ktbaby22

Me too!  My FIL's are NOT what I EVER pictured for my life and I am so jealous of friends who have awesome FIL's. Its stressful thinking about them, especially when we have kids....

lovedbyelyon

I love my future in laws!!

They are hilarious, a great match for each other. Every visit is full of laughs! 

I was worried about how to include my FMIL in the wedding planning, because she lives an hour away from us and I don't know her style. Fortunately for me, she put those worries to rest when the parents met each other! She told me that she was going to 'stay out of the way', and if I needed her then all I had to do was ask! I was so thankful for that. 

AmyelizabethYasukochi

I enjoy them to a certain extent there is more of an awkwardness .His mother is for a loss of a better word crazy even though he told me so I just didn't believe him.She hates everything even religion:C.And his father is more easygoing and is more fun.They are devorced.So yes family issues there. So a I wrong not to want to hang out?