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Why are people so judgmental here?

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Re: Why are people so judgmental here?

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    Personally experience with a HM registry.

    We had some friends who did one.  Not really my thing, but they had a helicopter tour that looked cool and we decided to get that from them.    A few days after I paid for the activity I ran in to the couple.  They had not intentions of doing any of the activities.  They only picked them because they were high dollar.    I was under the impression that they got a GC to use.  Nope.  Come to find out  in the end all the couple gets is a check to do with as they please.   So here I spent all this time and money thinking I'm getting an awesome gift only to find out I just gave them money.


    Put a really bad taste in my mouth.  Like I was conned.   Never again.

    I'm not your guests, so I really don't care what you do.  However, I think a lot of people thought like I did.  You get a GC for the dinner or activity.  I bet if they found out that you get a big check at the end to do with as you please they would be less than thrilled.







    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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    It's so hard to follow these threads when OP goes back and deletes everything.
    I'll put my two cents in anyways:

    I too thought just the way you did, but as I lurked and asked for more advice I found that the ladies on here are actually really nice and very helpful. I understand why you think they are being rude or judgemental, but really they are just trying to give you the advice you should take. If you don't want to take it, that's your perogative. If you keep fighting for the answer you are looking for then yes, as a PP said, patience wears thin.
    Anniversary
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    *sigh*  Maybe we DO need FF Mondays or something. 

    I personally don't get Honeymoon registries either.  They literally take your money from you that you could have gotten in full by being an ounce less lazy.  By george, I'll do a little extra work for a net of 400 to 1k more money in my pocket.  It's the biggest boondoggle I've ever seen, yet somehow there are girls out there that are SO determined to do it. 

    How is it mean to try to save people having their money stolen? Scratching my head over here.  How dare we try to help people?
    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

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    Anniversary

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    Wow... I'm NEVER on these boards but someone posted in a forum I am about the tone of these boards so I thought I would check it out for fun.
    As for the Honeymoon Registry... I can say I HAVE ONE.   I don't promote it but it's listed on my website.  My fiance and I have already purchased/booked our honeymoon and don't need our guests to pay for it.  I own a home and I don't need the typical "home" things.  People often don't want to give cash because they just assume you'll use it for bills.  They'd rather give you something that they actually feel like is going towards something. 

    If you actually check out the honeymoon registry (we did Traveler's Joy) you can register for parts of your hotel, airfare, excursions, etc.  It's really more for our friends since the older generation has NO CLUE what it is.  I do think asking for cash is extremely tacky and I would never do it which is why we don't have a "honeymoon fund" jar and I asked my MOH not to put the Traveler's Joy info on my shower invites.  People know our website.  If they chose to donate there then so be it.  If not, that's okay too.  Since we don't "need" things the other option was registering for a bunch of stuff we obviously don't need and then returning it for cash which I think is not the route we wanted to go.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_why-are-people-so-judgmental-here?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:f5d77aa0-4621-4157-853d-da4094bcf284Post:15ea4d5e-8dd0-4742-9029-19ddda860a70">Re: Why are people so judgmental here?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Wow... I'm NEVER on these boards but someone posted in a forum I am about the tone of these boards so I thought I would check it out for fun. As for the Honeymoon Registry... I can say I HAVE ONE.   I don't promote it but it's listed on my website.  My fiance and I have already purchased/booked our honeymoon and don't need our guests to pay for it.  I own a home and I don't need the typical "home" things.  People often don't want to give cash because they just assume you'll use it for bills.  They'd rather give you something that they actually feel like is going towards something.  If you actually check out the honeymoon registry (we did Traveler's Joy) you can register for parts of your hotel, airfare, excursions, etc.  It's really more for our friends since the older generation has NO CLUE what it is.  I do think asking for cash is extremely tacky and I would never do it which is why we don't have a "honeymoon fund" jar and I asked my MOH not to put the Traveler's Joy info on my shower invites.  People know our website.  If they chose to donate there then so be it.  If not, that's okay too.  Since we don't "need" things the other option was registering for a bunch of stuff we obviously don't need and then returning it for cash which I think is not the route we wanted to go.
    Posted by LucieGirlie27[/QUOTE]

    Feel better?  News flash.  MOST PEOPLE GETTING MARRIED THESE DAYS DON"T "NEED" ANYTHING.  DH and I combined two full households when we got married.  Goodwill in two states got some incredibly nice donations from us and we still managed to put together a small registry of upgrades.  Know what happened?  People gave cash.  We still had things left on the registry and wound up buying them ourselves.  No deceit necessary. 

    And I don't know where you are getting that people don't want to give cash.  That has been the most common gift at weddings I've been to on the east coast, west coast and in the midwest.  Most people know (especially anyone who has ever been married) that this is always Bs&Gs most wanted gift.
    Proud to be an old married hag!! image
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    I must say that having three days off from work becuase of Nemo has left me  a little bored since my neighborhood has either been covered in snow or giant puddles of melting snow, and this post certainly has kept me entertained!  Every time I come on to TK I see there are more posts to this thread and I can't help but read.  
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_why-are-people-so-judgmental-here?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:f5d77aa0-4621-4157-853d-da4094bcf284Post:0885163b-ca8d-4189-aedb-75ab36fc9c87">Re: Why are people so judgmental here?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Why are people so judgmental here? : Feel better?  News flash.  MOST PEOPLE GETTING MARRIED THESE DAYS DON"T "NEED" ANYTHING.  DH and I combined two full households when we got married.  Goodwill in two states got some incredibly nice donations from us and we still managed to put together a small registry of upgrades.  Know what happened?  People gave cash.  We still had things left on the registry and wound up buying them ourselves.  No deceit necessary.  And I don't know where you are getting that people don't want to give cash.  That has been the most common gift at weddings I've been to on the east coast, west coast and in the midwest.  Most people know (especially anyone who has ever been married) that this is always Bs&Gs most wanted gift.
    Posted by GoodLuckBear14[/QUOTE]

    You don't really need to be so nasty to me.  I was just stating how we did it for people who might be interested in it.   One of the posters above said that someone registered for excursions that were expensive so that people would give a lot of money.  I find that HORRIBLE and that certainly is decieving.  I wouldn't do that.   Each and every thing on our registry we are doing.  We listed the location, sometimes even the DAY we will be there.  Of course we had to book it in advance, we couldn't wait until our wedding to cash the honeymoon registry to book everything on our wedding night.   The money that people give us through the honeymoon registry will go towards what we spent.  We have told people that who have asked about it.  And yes, we registered for upgrades for our home too and I've taken load after load to Value Village and Good WIll.  We have a large wedding and with a bridal shower and lots of guests things get purchased.  People have actually complained to me to add more things.  Guests are giving cash as we are both have family on the east coast and that's custom.  I have a few friends who are unemployed and I've told them to come and not bring gifts.  I don't care.  I just want my best friends and family around me on the happiest day of my life.  If one of my friends or family found it offensive I would take it down in a heartbeat, but everyone thinks its a great idea.  I'm just saying if it's used CORRECTLY it's a neat thing... however it is probably misused more often than not.  If you are asking someone for a Kitchen Aid mixer I think it's no different than asking for somoene for a ticket to an excursion that your doing on your honeymoon. 
    And if you don't agree with me that's fine... but please, don't be nasty.  It's just my opinion. 
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