Is it wrong for me to request specific shoes for bridesmaids?

KTina&BJ

I told one of my bridesmaids that I wanted them all to wear cowboy boots. She threw a fit cause she doesnt want to buy them. Now the dresses they are wearing are simple sun dresses that cost like $40 ive been searching online and found cute boots for like $50. I dont think that is bad since most bridesmaid dresses are at least $100 alone... Is it wrong for me to want them to buy them? Is that something that the bride would normally pay for? If it is then I dont wanna tell her she has to buy them...

Maggie0829

If you require them to wear specific shoes then YOU are the one who needs to purchase them.  The only thing a BM is required to purchase is the dress, anything else that you require is on you.

LJones7883

No, you're not wrong for asking that. It's your wedding.
Is she the only bridesmaid that had a problem with purchasng the shoes? Do they all have to wear the same pair of boots? Can she maybe borrow a pair from somebody else?

KTina&BJ

She was the only one with the problem buying them so I wasnt sure if that was something I was supposed to do... I would prefer them all to be the same for picture purooses but it doesnt really matter. It was just when I brought up the idea she was mad and like " Im not buying cowboy boots cause Ill never wear them again"

calliopeia2013

Yes, you are wrong for asking that. If you are requiring specific shoes, jewelry, or other accessories, you should pay for them. Did you even ask your BM her budget?

Maggie0829

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_is-it-wrong-for-me-to-request-specific-shoes-for-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:c35f21a2-e3a6-4be1-8cca-50601ba35d20Post:af250ca8-4677-4019-8b88-c4060869b65e">Re: Is it wrong for me to request specific shoes for bridesmaids?</a>:
[QUOTE]No, you're not wrong for asking that. It's your wedding. Is she the only bridesmaid that had a problem with purchasng the shoes? Do they all have to wear the same pair of boots? Can she maybe borrow a pair from somebody else?
Posted by LJones7883[/QUOTE]

OP, please do not listen to this post.  This is ridiculous advice and it is wrong.

If a bride requires specific shoes, hair, makeup, jewlery etc for her BMs to wear then the bride must fork over the money to purchase those items.  Like I said before, the only thing a BM is required to pay for is the dress.

KTina&BJ

Ok thanks for the advice! I just wanted to be sure before I asked them to buy them. Like I said all I did was run the idea by them. The bride maid that was upset about it was also the one that told me she would be picking out and buying her own shoes cause shes so picky which is what I think her biggest problem is. Even when I tell her Im buying them shes still gonna pitch a fit.

kd.joseph

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_is-it-wrong-for-me-to-request-specific-shoes-for-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:c35f21a2-e3a6-4be1-8cca-50601ba35d20Post:ac137a96-19bd-499d-8d74-a26f9ce89be1">Re:Is it wrong for me to request specific shoes for bridesmaids?</a>:
[QUOTE]Yes, you are wrong for asking that. If you are requiring specific shoes, jewelry, or other accessories, you should pay for them. Did you even ask your BM her budget?
Posted by calliopeia2013[/QUOTE]

This!

And not everyone is comfortable in boots or certain shoes. I would want them to be comfortable the day of.

IF you still insist she wear them, you have to pay for them.

KTina&BJ

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_is-it-wrong-for-me-to-request-specific-shoes-for-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:c35f21a2-e3a6-4be1-8cca-50601ba35d20Post:de2cad34-d0d9-45d1-bcd1-6c7f73b0143b">Re:Is it wrong for me to request specific shoes for bridesmaids?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Is it wrong for me to request specific shoes for bridesmaids? : This! And not everyone is comfortable in boots or certain shoes. I would want them to be comfortable the day of. IF you still insist she wear them, you have to pay for them.
Posted by kd.joseph[/QUOTE]

Thanks for the response. Like I said I didnt sak them to buy them yet I just told them what I was think with the boots. Thats why im asking here first to be sure.

GoodLuckBear14

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_is-it-wrong-for-me-to-request-specific-shoes-for-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:c35f21a2-e3a6-4be1-8cca-50601ba35d20Post:af250ca8-4677-4019-8b88-c4060869b65e">Re: Is it wrong for me to request specific shoes for bridesmaids?</a>:
[QUOTE]No, you're not wrong for asking that. It's your wedding. Is she the only bridesmaid that had a problem with purchasng the shoes? Do they all have to wear the same pair of boots? Can she maybe borrow a pair from somebody else?
Posted by LJones7883[/QUOTE]

You are 100% wrong with your advice. 

Avion22

I have really bad bunions (it's genetic), and while I can wear some types of boots, cowboy boots (or any boot with pointy toes and a shallow footbed) are EXTREMELY painful for me to wear, and almost all cheaply made shoes (except flip-flops or other sandals) put me in pain so bad that I can barely walk.   Don't get me wrong, I don't have to wear orthopaedic shoes or anything -- I have no problem finding shoes that are well-made and don't hurt me.  But if I was your bridesmaid, I'd be upset about having to spend $50 on a pair of shoes that my doctor has specifically told me not to wear.   I'd gladly pay $100 for shoes that I would definitely wear again (if they were my style).

arrestclementine

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_is-it-wrong-for-me-to-request-specific-shoes-for-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:c35f21a2-e3a6-4be1-8cca-50601ba35d20Post:de2cad34-d0d9-45d1-bcd1-6c7f73b0143b">Re:Is it wrong for me to request specific shoes for bridesmaids?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Is it wrong for me to request specific shoes for bridesmaids? : This!<strong> And not everyone is comfortable in boots or certain shoes.</strong> I would want them to be comfortable the day of. IF you still insist she wear them, you have to pay for them.
Posted by kd.joseph[/QUOTE]

All of this.  Even if you bought me boots, I still wouldn't want to wear them.  I have chunky calves and small feet, so boots always look horrible on me and I would not feel comfortable.  Just let them pick their own shoes, and you can wear boots.

m tulli

I will say that if any of your girls have large calves.  Boots might not work.  I can not get boots over my calves.  I love the looks of boots but only have one pair that are made for large calves.  The rest I can not get them zipped.  I would be frustrated trying to find a pair.  

whitneymarie504

I agree, if you want them you have to buy them. I DID however ask all my girls to wear "silver shoes" although I left ALL other options up to them... I didn't give any specifications regarding style, just the color as the dresses are pink with a silver sash so I could wind up with a bridal party full of flip flops, sandals, heels, and/or wedges.

[Deleted User]

You're definitely not wrong for asking that, like you said, you got them a great deal on the dress.  And no, prior to what some people might say, I don't believe you're required to buy them for the BMs, that's part of their outfit with their dress.  But in my area BMs also pay for their nails, hair, makeup, travel expenses, etc.  I've noticed it varies by area but it didn't offend me when I was my MOH's BM.

Ask her why she's upset, doesn't like the style? Can't afford it? There's got to be something more to her fit.

arrestclementine

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_is-it-wrong-for-me-to-request-specific-shoes-for-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:c35f21a2-e3a6-4be1-8cca-50601ba35d20Post:dcd193ea-1fb6-4cc7-baa3-aec09c071c8a">Re: Is it wrong for me to request specific shoes for bridesmaids?</a>:
[QUOTE]Forget all these people giving reasons how or why the boots wont work. If you take your girls to find boots that fit and work and you pay for them everything will work out fine.
Posted by Cbrandis[/QUOTE]

Not if she has a vision that all the boots must be the same.  Everyone is different, and certain things don't fit the same way on other people.  Like narrow and wide feet.  Just my opinion.

KatWAG

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_is-it-wrong-for-me-to-request-specific-shoes-for-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:c35f21a2-e3a6-4be1-8cca-50601ba35d20Post:b42fb3c7-127b-4a3f-9af3-4fcc7971e9bb">Re: Is it wrong for me to request specific shoes for bridesmaids?</a>:
[QUOTE]You're definitely not wrong for asking that, like you said, you got them a great deal on the dress.  And no, prior to what some people might say, I don't believe you're required to buy them for the BMs, <strong>that's part of their outfit with their dress.  But in my area BMs also pay for their nails, hair, makeup, travel expenses, etc.</strong>  I've noticed it varies by area but it didn't offend me when I was my MOH's BM. Ask her why she's upset, doesn't like the style? Can't afford it? There's got to be something more to her fit.
Posted by Jinxed329[/QUOTE]

This is awful advice. The bridesmaid are only required to pay for the dress. Anything else you require is on YOU. Dont blame your region for your tacky etiquette.

Arinias

I will say I have never heard the bridesmaid is only responsible for the dress, and I feel it is a bit extreme of your bridesmaid to freak out about shoes when you just mentioned it. If it was a medical issue or even if she thought it would be hard to find a pair to fit that is something she should discuss with you. That being said I feel if you want specific shoes or jewelry you should buy them, $50 is a lot for some people especially on something they will only wear once. I did also request my girls had silver shoes but left type and style up to them, my sister even wore jelly shoes, but I though they all looked great