unrecoverable drug addict?

modb1rd

Lindsay I am embarrassed to say I have never considered getting any help/support for myself. I have sent my parents to counseling (they quit) and begged my mom to go to narcanon. But never thought about it for me. hmmm, I will have to chew on that.

FallinAgain

I do blame society at large though, in that the cost of inpatient rehab, for the length of time that is necessary to really have a shot at true help is so bloody expensive. So very true.  My dad went for 60 days, paid for by insurance and his company, in 1992.  The facility doesn't even exist anymore.  It's sad.

RenoisPrettierThanYou

Yeah, without my husband I'd be a basket case.  Never underestimate the power of someone telling you that it's not you who's F'd up.  I do hope the other who shared here have an equally healthy outlet. I tried al-Anon.  The group I was in was weird though, and I didn't get much out of it.  Now, I'm to the point that I simply can't bring myself to dedicate that kind of time to the addict.  It's been going on soooo long....like 9 years now.

modb1rd

yeah Reno my brother started drinking at 14 or 15. He is 36 now. I am not exactly sure when the meth started but he's never been anything but an abuser/addict.

RenoisPrettierThanYou

Mod....I think it's especially hard with meth and other drugs that screw with your seratonin levels...the addiction becomes biological. 

McLovins

My father was a meth addict.  It started when I was 16.  He and my mom divorced when I was 14 and before that we were like the "perfect" family.  Anytime I knew he was using I called the cops.  He was arrested over 30 times, but never stayed in jail longer than 90 days.   And as soon as he would get out he would start using again.   When I was 17 I finally cut myself off from him, but I had heard from a family member he was actually making meth.   So I called the cops on him and they raided the trailer he was in.  I'm from a small town so of course it was all over the news.  My family's name is pretty well known in these parts, it was the most embarassing thing I have ever gone through. He spent 4 years in prision.  When he came out he was so fried that he called me by my aunts name.   He now has been diagnosed with Dementia and has lived in a nursing home for 4 years.  At this point he can't walk and is confined to a wheelchair and has no clue who I am.  I never go and visit.  But at the holidays and his birthday I leave some clothing and his favorite foods at the nurses station for him.   Family sucks sometimes.

kmmssg

I'm sorry to hear the enabler's are your parents.  They have NO idea what they are doing. My brother was my best friend in the world - he was clean and sober for 15 years and they were the best years ever.  I can't tell you how much it hurts to have lost him. Please don't change your stand or give into your parents' enabling.  This just makes me so furious.  It makes me want to send them a copy of my brother's eulogy - I wrote it and delivered it.  It's been 3 years this month and it still hurts beyond words. I think my brother was probably one of those people who's rock bottom was death.  His wife divorced him because she refused to, his son also refused to enable him.  He found ways to enable himself. I am so very sorry for your situation.

mashedpotato

ugh, these stories are horrible, I'm so sorry for all of you, I can't imagine having to deal with a loved one in that situation.

EABwork

Chiming in here.  I also think there are some people beyond help.  My brother was one of them, it has hurt my mother beyond repair and my father refuses to acknowledge a lot of the issues with it (probably b/c his wife is an alcoholic more on her another time).  I still miss my baby brother terribly, but the addict I do not.  Mod,  I echo your statement  I have hit the point that I wish he would just disappear or be sentenced to years in prison so that we don't have to deal. I can't say I wish he would die, I don't, but I wish he would go away.I alos wished he would just get better, but there was no helping him.  As to the point that they have enablers, my parents stopped helping him, but he just hit the streets and either stole/sold stuff or did other things to get his fix.  He stole countless family heirlooms and even broke into places.  He was clean five months when he OD'ed, and it is still hard. Renois, Mod, I hope your family will do better than mine in the end, because it is not easy.  I cannot watch intervention, but I am strangely drawn to The Cleaner every week, because I wish we had a Willie Banks in Montreal.

modb1rd

McLovins, KMM, and EAB I would hug you if you were anywhere near me.

RenoisPrettierThanYou

wow....it's so horrible that addiction touches so many folks...the only thing I can do is to thank you all for making me feel not alone....and I'd hug you all too, but in the knot world I'm mean, and the best I can do is a knuckle bump. Seriously....best to you all...and thank you.

pdxmouse

McLovins, KMM, and EAB I would hug you if you were anywhere near me.This, big time. Mod too of course.

kmmssg

Thanks mod - no one understands how this still feels, so you have no idea how much that hug was appreciated. 

kmmssg

And one back at you - this stuff really hurts and I'm so sorry your brother has gone down this path.