Snarky Brides

OHMYGOD PLEASE TALKMEDOWN!!!

So my sister is in town for a week. She and her husband are staying with us. We have always had an extremely, um, volatile relationship. (Full disclosure - I think she's full on, someone needs to medicate her, BSC). So, we're watching the O'Reilly Factor (she cannot miss it) and someone I say that I can bite my tongue on most issues, except for maybe gay rights. All of a sudden, it escalates into a HUGE fight. Something about the sacrament of marriage, etc etc etc. THEN she says "Gay people can get married! They can marry a member of the opposite sex like God intended!" At this point I call her a bigot and tell her she is making a stupid argument. SHE FLIPS THE FUUCK OUT! Screaming at the top of her lungs. I am not kidding. Saying that I, like all liberals, throw insults because I have no actual argument. Also, she compared trying to "change the definition of marriage" to trying to change the definition of water. It's hydrogen and oxygen! YOU CAN'T CHANGE THE DEFINITION!!!" I think I also called that argument stupid. She flies into a SCREAMING RAGE. I was honestly worried she was going to throw a glass of wine on me. She then ran upstairs and told her husband they were leaving. Ummmm. Hello? I picked you up at the airport? You have no car? Our sick brother with a 3 month old baby lives 40 minutes away. Our Mom is equally far. Where are you going? Finally, to keep the peace, I try to apologize. She yells something about loving my gay friends more than her. I avoid the desire to tell her that I love the homeless methhead that lives downtown more than her and instead apologize repeatedly and ask her not to leave. Sorry for that novel, but when I try to talk to D he just keeps telling me to be quiet and not talk about it. HOW THE FUUCK AM I GOING TO SURVIVE THIS WEEK? SHE'S SATAN!!!
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Re: OHMYGOD PLEASE TALKMEDOWN!!!

  • The kicker, while she's home, she wants me to help her look for a job so she can move back to STL. The funny thing, all the jobs she wants are completely ridiculous. I could seriously write a book about the crazy that is this biitch. Oh, also, she knows tons of gay guys and none of them want the right to get married. They ALL agree with her. ::Deep breath:: I can do this. Right?
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  • Holyshit, Bugle. I don't even know what to tell you except that I have room in my bed here if you need to run away. Is there any special reason she's staying with you? Just for fun?
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    Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable.
  • I NEEEEED TO COME OVER.  Like yesterday.  I must meet this person!!!
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    "As of page 2 this might be the most boring argument ever. It's making me long for Rape Day." - Mouse
  • yeah yeah! unleash fentor on her!
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  • YES! THAT IS THE SOLUTION! FENT VS. SISTERCHRISTIN CAGE MATCH!
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    Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable.
  • Maybe come morning, she and her husband will decide it's better to check into a hotel?I recommend that as long as she's with you, you avoid all media when you're in her sight, so as not to provide fodder for any more "discussions."
  • I'd love video of the Fentor-Sister Showdown!Seriously, the next time she threatens to leave, I wouldn't fight it.  In fact, I'd ask her at what hotel you can drop her.  She only acts like this with you because she knows she can walk all over you, say what she wants, and you will apologize and beg her to stay.
  • I think you should tell her that you will refrain from discussing this with her for the good of the family and suggest that she stay in a hotel.
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    If I were a man (or fitty) I'd totally call my penis THE WIZARD - HappyTummy
  • I can't CS! She throws a full on shiit fit if she misses any of her Fox News programs. And you guys, she doesn't get indignant, she gets fully on ragey. Like, I got scared. Fenton - oh God, nothing would make me happier than to put you two in a room together, but I don't wanna get no blood on the floor. She's locked herself in my office to watch Fox News in peace. She won't come out. And to whomever asked, she's staying w/ me b/c I was sparing my brother. He has a new baby. I'm home during the day to drive her whereever she wants, etc. And my Mom also works during the day (and my sister can't stand my mom). So it's my house.
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  • I really wish you hadn't apologized to her.  She's crazy.  You should drop her at the nearest HoJo's.
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    "That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
  • I'm going to try to bite my tongue until it bleeds Mod and just let her stay here. She's very WHOA IS ME over her finances (even though she spends money like a Hilton cousin). I foffing apologized to the biitch! I feel like Mother freakin Theresa right now.
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  • Let her watch her "programs;" just stay out of range when she does. I still think you shouldn't sacrifice anything for someone who disrespects you in your own home.  Maybe if she realized you don't feel obligated to put her up just because she's your sister, she'd behave herself like the guest that she is.
  • If you can do it I think you should not play host again. refusing to stay in my MIL's house is why we haven't killed each other. and MILMod is not as crazy as your sister.
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    Book Review Blog

    If I were a man (or fitty) I'd totally call my penis THE WIZARD - HappyTummy
  • maybe the carazay will be a bonding moment for you and D?
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    Book Review Blog

    If I were a man (or fitty) I'd totally call my penis THE WIZARD - HappyTummy
  • I guess you guys are right. There's just so much crazy in my family that I take it for granted that you have to just calm crazy down and pet it sometime. Because if you don't, well, crazy might just eat your face. In case anyone wonders, this is the face of madness: [img]http://i92.photobucket.com/albums/l12/Christin980205/Wedding/Getting%20Ready/GettingReady142.jpg[/img]
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  • What are you doing around 7 p.m. tomorrow night?  I think you need pizza.
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    "As of page 2 this might be the most boring argument ever. It's making me long for Rape Day." - Mouse
  • My approcah it my sis is much like w/ my schizophrenic aunt Franny. Keep her calm at all costs. I did not succeed tonight. On a positive note Mod, me and D kissed and made up yesterday and I think we might have gotten past our little slump. There have been a lot of long, drawn out, extra squeezy hugs. Those are the best kind after fighting.
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  • Yeah, I know I'd be so mad if I were in your shoes that I'm taking a hard line.  I know it's tough and you just want to keep the peace (I've been there), but sometimes I think you have to show that just because your family does not mean that you have to let someone walk all over you. 
  • Mmmm, see I will feel more polite if I get an invitation.This does not mean I NEED an invitation.
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    "As of page 2 this might be the most boring argument ever. It's making me long for Rape Day." - Mouse
  • awww, christin look how pretty you are!
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  • I think we're watching the No Spin Zone at 7 Fenton. Seriously though, I would need to take 6 xanax to bring you two together. It's so not happening. Although I insist on a night out with you as soon as she's gone so I can tell you all the stories. Seriously.
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  • Who, me Ali? ::flips hair:: Just a look I threw together one day. No biggie.
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  • Oh Cali. I love you. I love you all for having my back. I have problems. I will let my family make me a doormat because I have this Sopranosesque valuation of family that I just can't get over. I just went to check on her and she asked me to bring her some water. She said her throat hurt from screaming at me. I wanted to laugh, but sometimes, when I laugh at her, she gets mad at me for being condescending and thinking I'm smarter than everyone. (Did I ever mention that my sister has major insecurities over my brother and I being way smarter than her?)
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  • Huh; she looks normal.  Except she's got the crazy eyes.
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  • Are you guys friends on facebook?
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    "As of page 2 this might be the most boring argument ever. It's making me long for Rape Day." - Mouse
  • She looks like Amy Poehler.

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  • Now is the time to stop letting her treat you like a doormat.  She is an entitled fuckbucket who treats you like crap, and you don't feel safe with her in your household.  How can you keep the peace with someone that unhinged?  And she is entitled to her beliefs, but it should be clear that her beliefs can pay for a hotel room to stay in.  She is taking advantage of your hospitality and you shouldn't tolerate her intolerance.
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    "That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
  • Yes. We are friends on FB. Do not mention the crazy on FB. FB is not safe.
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  • I am more smooth than you give me credit for.  I will also not take action right away as to not implicate you.
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    "As of page 2 this might be the most boring argument ever. It's making me long for Rape Day." - Mouse
  • Amy Poehler? I can see that. Or as she says: "People say I look like Cameron Diaz. I'm prettier than her, right? Do you think I'm fat?" (Yes - my size 6 sister asks me if she's fat. I would love to tell her yes, but she wouldn't get that I'm joking.)
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