Have we talked about this?

Blueyed228

The new Eminem video?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uelHwf8o7_U

Thoughts?

I have to be honest, although I will NEVER condone domestic violence and could do without him slapping her in the end, I kind of find the video hot.  The song and the video remind me of my college relationship.  It was an amazing relationship and at the same time completely fuuucked up.  But the passion was just like that.  Epic battles that led to serious lust.

Anyone have a relationship like this?

(Again, I do not like the slapping and hitting stuff.)

Steph0871

I haven't seen the video yet (about to watch it!)  However, FI and I were talking about the song on the way to work the other day... it's kind of hot, even just the song.

ETA: Time has not been favorable to Eminem (sorry, Sarah.)  Rhianna, though? She's hot.

Blueyed228

I swear the video is my exact relationship from 18-23.

When I heard the song I thought the same thing.

Steph0871

Eek.  It makes me a little sad that Rhianna is in a song/video that's basically condoning a potentiality dangerous relationship, though.

Blueyed228

Yeah, Eminem said he had her in mind when he wrote it.  Maybe she looks at it as an empowering thing?  I dont see it though.

future-mrs

Yup, pretty much reminds me of my 6 years of hell with my ex.  I like the song a lot though and for some reason, although it's slightly disturbing, the video doesn't bother me that much.  Maybe because of the way it's put together and Megan Fox/Rihanna are hot!

andy71781

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_talked-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2ed9b5b8-8567-4d53-89c4-7cc883dda654Post:3cb0c9be-2afe-4ccf-98f2-22880549d619">Re: Have we talked about this?</a>:
[QUOTE]I swear the video is my exact relationship from 18-23. When I heard the song I thought the same thing.
Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]
Yes!  Me too.  I love the line about "this is what happens when a tornado meets a volcano"  Gosh I feel ike if I sent my ex-bf that he'd totally understand.

This is why people say that other people shouldn't get married young. 

future-mrs

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_talked-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2ed9b5b8-8567-4d53-89c4-7cc883dda654Post:6b8d3d64-ccc1-4189-a986-7b808505f920">Re: Have we talked about this?</a>:
[QUOTE]Yeah, <strong>Eminem said he had her in mind when he wrote it.  Maybe she looks at it as an empowering thing</strong>?  I dont see it though.
Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]


<a href="http://www.people.com/people/article/0" rel="nofollow">http://www.people.com/people/article/0</a>,,20408359,00.html

"[Director] Joseph [Kahn] and I worked pretty closely together to make sure we got this right," said Eminem, 37. "Trying to make this tough subject work visually is a challenge. It was great to have Rihanna, Megan and Dominic on board for this. They really brought it and made this video super-powerful."

Fox, 24, donated the money she would have received for the video to a <a href="http://www.opcc.net/OurProjects/Sojourn/tabid/88/Default.aspx" target="_blank">Sojourn House</a>, a shelter for abused women.

Steph0871

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_talked-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2ed9b5b8-8567-4d53-89c4-7cc883dda654Post:bcfcbd13-81d3-4f97-b7e7-6820c2802515">Re: Have we talked about this?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Have we talked about this? : Yes!  Me too.  I love the line about "this is what happens when a tornado meets a volcano"  Gosh I feel ike if I sent my ex-bf that he'd totally understand. <strong>This is why people say that other people shouldn't get married young. </strong>
Posted by andy71781[/QUOTE]

<div>I'm pretty sure this isn't an age thing... I've seen a few couples who are in their 30s or 40s that are still really volatile.</div>

npasquale16

Ditto about Rihanna.

I heard that Megan Fox donated all of her money for appearing in the video to a domestic violence charity/fund.

andy71781

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_talked-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2ed9b5b8-8567-4d53-89c4-7cc883dda654Post:027361d3-8b39-4e84-a72a-31c6799ce0e9">Re: Have we talked about this?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Have we talked about this? : I'm pretty sure this isn't an age thing... I've seen a few couples who are in their 30s or 40s that are still really volatile.
Posted by Steph0871[/QUOTE]
I agree - I was referencing her statement that this was her relationships from 18-23.  Some people take a longer time to grow up...some never do I guess.

KocurFineArt

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_talked-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2ed9b5b8-8567-4d53-89c4-7cc883dda654Post:3cb0c9be-2afe-4ccf-98f2-22880549d619">Re: Have we talked about this?</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>I swear the video is my exact relationship from 18-23</strong>. When I heard the song I thought the same thing.
Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]

<div>Ditto to this.</div><div>
</div><div>On a semi-related note, Megan Fox needs to stop being gorgeous.</div><div>
</div><div>And I think any video with Rhianna in it is hottt. Anyone else remember the song/video she did with Maroon 5? That video was straight-up sexy.</div>

[Deleted User]

Eminem is hot. But I do think it somewhat normalizes toxic / abusive relationships. I worry that the popularity of songs like these make it 'hot' to be in volatile relationships like this.

I was also in a similar relationship in college. It sucked and scarred me pretty bad. It's one of the few relationships that I wish I could take back because of the enormous mindfuck that I went through.

Blueyed228

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_talked-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:2ed9b5b8-8567-4d53-89c4-7cc883dda654Post:c06a036d-67c2-49a0-b87b-8de6c4cee68b">Re: Have we talked about this?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Have we talked about this? : I agree - I was referencing her statement that this was her relationships from 18-23.  Some people take a longer time to grow up...some never do I guess.
Posted by andy71781[/QUOTE]

I am so glad I didnt marry him, but boy did I want to at the time.  It didnt help that he was a gorgeous smokehouse too.

I think its more about experience than age.  If I had dated more in high school and college before I met him, I doubt I would have confused his craziness with love, lol.  I doubt I would have stayed that long too.

I agree that I find the actors super hot too so that may be why I find the video hot.

KocurFineArt

Cew, I'm right there with you.

I do think that on some level it glamorizes abusive relationships, but on the other hand, hearing the lyrics, it perfectly describes battered women's syndrome. Mostly. The video was hot, and that kind of bothers me. I feel like it could have been portrayed as being a little more "real," if that makes any sense. But, sex sells, right?

katiewhompus

That is awesome how she donated the money

I think people are either going to see the video as "A violent relationship is hot" or "Look at how extreme just a little yelling can become".

I love the visual effects though. Very cool.

I never was in a really violent/passionate relationship, but I did have a bf who would fuuck up regularly and then buy me presents to make up for it so the scene wth her in the hallway getting the toy struck a cord. I still remember one time I was crying on the front step and he gave me a necklace, and I just start screaming "Buying shiit doesn't make it better you assshole"

SarahPLiz

I totally get Em, I think most of his songs are expressions of his real life. They are cautionary tales, not endorsing anything like that. I think is how he connects with people in those situations. I think it shows them an outside view of what they are living, and I hope it can be a wakeup call. 

I don't agree with making domestic violence hot, and I don't think he does either. 

Blueyed228

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_talked-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:2ed9b5b8-8567-4d53-89c4-7cc883dda654Post:2be36288-928f-4131-bf85-ab98fec128b7">Re: Have we talked about this?</a>:
[QUOTE]Eminem is hot. But I do think it somewhat normalizes toxic / abusive relationships. I worry that the popularity of songs like these make it 'hot' to be in volatile relationships like this. I was also in a similar relationship in college. It sucked and scarred me pretty bad. It's one of the few relationships that I wish I could take back because of the enormous mindfuck that I went through.
Posted by cew515[/QUOTE]

This.

This is what I was trying to say but lacked the wise words of Cew :)

ms_teach

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_talked-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:2ed9b5b8-8567-4d53-89c4-7cc883dda654Post:bcfcbd13-81d3-4f97-b7e7-6820c2802515">Re: Have we talked about this?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Have we talked about this? : Yes!  Me too.  I love the line about "this is what happens when a tornado meets a volcano"  <strong>Gosh I feel ike if I sent my ex-bf that he'd totally understand. </strong>This is why people say that other people shouldn't get married young. 
Posted by andy71781[/QUOTE]

This!  I was in a nearly three year relationship like that.  There were nights I slept in a different room with one of those poles under the locked doorknob because things got so intense.  In the end, I moved out in the middle of the night and never looked back.  As messed up as the relationship was, it was hard to leave it because it was so intense.  When it was good, it was addicting.

He got married last year, I'm getting married next summer.  It seems we're both in "normal" relationships now.  Sometimes, I think two people bring out the worst in each other like that.

NuggetBrain

I liked the song the first time I heard it, until it got to the end when he said he was going to tie her to a bed and set the house on fire.  Em's songs have always been so heavy on the woman-hating, and I was kinda pleased this song seemed to be going in a different direction until the end.

PetraStonegirl

I love the melody, the passion (of the vocalists), the strength of emotion portrayed by Megan Fox and ___(?), and the play between Eminem and Rhianna's vocal styles. But, I'm going to bed tonight hoping that young ladies who fall in love with this song on the radio and finally see the video get shocked into understanding what a doomed and unhealthy relationship looks and feels like. 

Passion is wonderful, but that kind of love/hate isn't passion... it's sickness.

I remember adoring a song in HS because it just 'got' what my relationship was with this guy. Later, I realized that the song was about a stalker. Nice.

Blue- I'm so glad you got out.

SarahPLiz

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_talked-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2ed9b5b8-8567-4d53-89c4-7cc883dda654Post:afb6dec1-be6e-4e4b-aea7-a6fe8f19ce65">Re: Have we talked about this?</a>:
[QUOTE]I haven't seen the video yet (about to watch it!)  However, FI and I were talking about the song on the way to work the other day... it's kind of hot, even just the song. <strong>ETA: Time has not been favorable to Eminem (sorry, Sarah.)  Rhianna, though? She's hot.</strong>
Posted by Steph0871[/QUOTE]

<div>Yeah, Im late on this because FI just made me watch Kick Ass, which was decidedly not kick ass. </div><div>
</div><div>Em is hot. Hotter than he used to be when we were younger, for sure. </div>

NuggetBrain

Also, I'm sorry, but all I can think of when I watch that video is "why is the hobbit being so mean to Sam Witwicki's girlfriend?"

Blueyed228

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_talked-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:2ed9b5b8-8567-4d53-89c4-7cc883dda654Post:20a23f48-a875-42a5-bc67-4984341b0a6c">Re: Have we talked about this?</a>:
[QUOTE]I totally get Em, I think most of his songs are expressions of his real life. They are cautionary tales, not endorsing anything like that. I think is how he connects with people in those situations. I think it shows them an outside view of what they are living, and I hope it can be a wakeup call.  I don't agree with making domestic violence hot, and I don't think he does either. 
Posted by SarahPLiz[/QUOTE]

Agreed.  I think his messages often get misconstrued.

I didnt think getting slapped around was hot at the time, but the relationship was hot, it just boiled over too many times.  if that makes any sense.....

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_talked-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:2ed9b5b8-8567-4d53-89c4-7cc883dda654Post:20a23f48-a875-42a5-bc67-4984341b0a6c">Re: Have we talked about this?</a>:
[QUOTE] I don't agree with making domestic violence hot, and I don't think he does either. 
Posted by SarahPLiz[/QUOTE]

I don't think he does either. I see it as a cautionary tale as well, but I'm also a 33 year old woman who has been through an abusive relationship. If I were a 15 year old girl with a hard on for all things Eminem (or Rhiana), I would probably have a different perspective on it. Does that make sense?

SarahPLiz

FWIW, I was in a 6 year relationship that was emotionally volatile,  not physically. I can still relate to the mindset from when I was there. Someone all it takes is someone to identify with in order to stop the mindfuuck. 

NuggetBrain

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_talked-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:2ed9b5b8-8567-4d53-89c4-7cc883dda654Post:e7933b5e-542c-494e-a925-412a323d1b51">Re: Have we talked about this?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Have we talked about this? : I don't think he does either. I see it as a cautionary tale as well, but I'm also a 33 year old woman who has been through an abusive relationship. If I were a 15 year old girl with a hard on for all things Eminem (or Rhiana), I would probably have a different perspective on it. Does that make sense?
Posted by cew515[/QUOTE]

This times a million.

SarahPLiz

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_talked-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2ed9b5b8-8567-4d53-89c4-7cc883dda654Post:e7933b5e-542c-494e-a925-412a323d1b51">Re: Have we talked about this?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Have we talked about this? : I don't think he does either. I see it as a cautionary tale as well, but I'm also a 33 year old woman who has been through an abusive relationship. If I were a 15 year old girl with a hard on for all things Eminem (or Rhiana), I would probably have a different perspective on it. Does that make sense?
Posted by cew515[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Makes total sense. 

</div>

ricksang

I had a realtionship like that with my ex GF from 18-20. It was so mess up.

Nebb

I really like the song, and I really like the video. I kind of like how it plays off how volatile things are one minute, ok the next, and quickly goes the bad again. I have never been in an abusive relationship though so I have no personal take on it.

katiewhompus

It kind of reminds me of the fight/sex scene from Mr and Mrs Smith. It's hot and passionate and everyone wants that passion, and then you realize they are trying to kill each other.