Snarky Brides

is it rude to enclose a "rules of the event" sheet for the guests?

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Re: is it rude to enclose a "rules of the event" sheet for the guests?

  • No, I don't think it is appropriate to put rules in the invite but what if you put something like "Formal reception to follow."?
  • OP - hire a bouncer. Do escort cards. If people don't have a seat, they aren't coming in the venue. After all, you need to have enough food for them.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_rude-enclose-rules-of-event-sheet-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:4955ee4c-6203-4264-bc60-8c194adea880Post:9f9327ed-dc60-4a24-aa4b-f0c1d2ff7f32">Re: is it rude to enclose a "rules of the event" sheet for the guests?</a>:
    [QUOTE]No, I don't think it is appropriate to put rules in the invite but what if you put something like "Formal reception to follow."?
    Posted by wdubin122[/QUOTE]

    Ack, no! 

    Do you really think that someone who believes that it's fine to wear jeans to a wedding will have their mind changed by the teeny tiny word 'formal'?  No, but it'll probably annoy everyone else who can read.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_rude-enclose-rules-of-event-sheet-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:4955ee4c-6203-4264-bc60-8c194adea880Post:681d271d-2f73-4f8f-95c2-8327f184c619">Re: is it rude to enclose a "rules of the event" sheet for the guests?</a>:
    [QUOTE]All I can say is "Wow!!!"  <strong>I thought I was a mean girl</strong>.
    Posted by venessar[/QUOTE]

    They can arrest you for that now!

    PAL/TTCAL welcome

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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_rude-enclose-rules-of-event-sheet-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:4955ee4c-6203-4264-bc60-8c194adea880Post:64f49645-3cde-46e2-a1d9-2b0bbfe76d37">Re: is it rude to enclose a "rules of the event" sheet for the guests?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Well, I bet no one here can tell me what a plagal cadence is. Wait...we're not trying to show off how smart we are?
    Posted by sucrets4[/QUOTE]

    <div>omg sucrets, i know i'm really new here but you just tripped my nerd wire!  so i'll show off how smart i am by simply saying to you, "amen".</div><div>
    </div><div>:)</div>
  • mmccrmmccr member
    10 Comments

    The only way you can get your FI family to dress well for your wedding, is if you buy their clothes and even then they still might not wear them. You are focusing on the wrong things. When your day come you are going to be so excited and happy you are not going to be thinking of that mess.

    Take a few breaths and relax it is going to be ok. If not you are going to ruin your day. Good luck.

  • Haha yay sucrets and Schroder! Plagal candences for the win!! IV-I....

    PS: This was the most fantastic post to read. I'm sufficiently less bored now
  • I'm glad I'm not alone. 

    We're so smrt, girls!!!!!!!
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  • Sucrets, since there are others on here who do know what a plagal cadence is, does that mean you're less special now? Bummer. Knowledge is just no fun if you can't hold it over other people's heads. Cry



    image
    Taco cat: Always a palindrome. ALWAYS, okay J&K?

    "cool......insult my size 2 body or my natural brown hair...or the fact that my parents own a country club, I have no budget for a wedding, and I have horses. I really dont care. Its better then having roots." ~ futurepivko
  • No, BG, we're just going to start a plagal cadence club instead.  It'll be great.  And then we can collectively hold our knowledge over everyone else's heads.
    BFP(1) DD1 born 4.17.10 @ 33w5d due to pPROM
    BFP(4) DD2 born 2.14.13 @ 35w5d due to pPROM

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  • Yeah there are some rude response on here. I am sorry for those! This is supposed to be a place to help each other out. Grow up people! However, I do think it may be offensive to a lot of people if you include a rule list. However I do know that some people put on the rsvp that formal attire is requested. Or something along those lines. You may want to jsut ask your in laws to pass on by word of mouth that it si going to be an upscale, formal and classy wedding. Best of luck! 
  • Ooh, even better! Strength in numbers. You guys really are smart!



    image
    Taco cat: Always a palindrome. ALWAYS, okay J&K?

    "cool......insult my size 2 body or my natural brown hair...or the fact that my parents own a country club, I have no budget for a wedding, and I have horses. I really dont care. Its better then having roots." ~ futurepivko
  • Wow, this has been quite amusing...  I'm usually a lurker on this board, but I did want to say to the OP about the attire part of the issue.  On our wedding website, FI wrote in the attire section: 

    Guest will be expected to wear at least semi-formal attire. For those of you who have no idea what this may entail, a nice pair of slacks and a button-down shirt for the guys, and either a dress, skirt, or pants suit for the ladies. Ladies, please respect the formality of the occasion, and dress appropiately. That means that if your skirt does not reach past your fingers when your hands are at your side, please rethink your attire.  We do not want the groomsmen to suffer from a pulled neck. Thank you.

    I had nothing to do with it, but I like the way he worded it, and that he left it in a joking manner.  And, yeah, I do have some family that will probably be showing up in jeans and t-shirts.  Will it bother me?  No, I'll be happy that they are with me and FI on our special day.  
  • edited March 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_rude-enclose-rules-of-event-sheet-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:4955ee4c-6203-4264-bc60-8c194adea880Post:89f0a60e-6510-403d-905b-0cf8580b2cec">Re: is it rude to enclose a "rules of the event" sheet for the guests?</a>:
    [QUOTE]On our wedding website, FI wrote in the attire section:  <strong>Guest will be expected to wear</strong> <strong>at least</strong> semi-formal attire. For those of you who have no idea what this may entail, a nice pair of slacks and a button-down shirt for the guys, and either a dress, skirt, or pants suit for the ladies. <strong>Ladies, please respect the formality of the occasion, and dress appropiately.</strong> That means that if your skirt does not reach past your fingers when your hands are at your side, please rethink your attire.  We do not want the groomsmen to suffer from a pulled neck. Thank you. I had nothing to do with it, but I like the way he worded it, and that he left it in a joking manner.  And, yeah, I do have some family that will probably be showing up in jeans and t-shirts.  Will it bother me?  No, I'll be happy that they are with me and FI on our special day.  
    Posted by mizri[/QUOTE]

    See, if I was a guest, I would be totally turned off by this language. Especially since it's coming from a place of you guys wanting people to wear something specific. The joke at the end doesn't take that message away. It's not like you're TOTALLY joking and don't care one bit what people wear, otherwise you wouldn't have bothered to put a dress code in. I don't know, maybe that's just how I would take it.



    image
    Taco cat: Always a palindrome. ALWAYS, okay J&K?

    "cool......insult my size 2 body or my natural brown hair...or the fact that my parents own a country club, I have no budget for a wedding, and I have horses. I really dont care. Its better then having roots." ~ futurepivko
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_rude-enclose-rules-of-event-sheet-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:4955ee4c-6203-4264-bc60-8c194adea880Post:89f0a60e-6510-403d-905b-0cf8580b2cec">Re: is it rude to enclose a "rules of the event" sheet for the guests?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Wow, this has been quite amusing...  I'm usually a lurker on this board, but I did want to say to the OP about the attire part of the issue.  On our wedding website, FI wrote in the attire section:  Guest will be expected to wear at least semi-formal attire. For those of you who have no idea what this may entail, a nice pair of slacks and a button-down shirt for the guys, and either a dress, skirt, or pants suit for the ladies. Ladies, please respect the formality of the occasion, and dress appropiately. That means that if your skirt does not reach past your fingers when your hands are at your side, please rethink your attire.  We do not want the groomsmen to suffer from a pulled neck. Thank you. I had nothing to do with it, but I like the way he worded it, and that he left it in a joking manner.  And, yeah, I do have some family that will probably be showing up in jeans and t-shirts.  Will it bother me?  No, I'll be happy that they are with me and FI on our special day.  
    Posted by mizri[/QUOTE]

    Will there be someone there with a ruler measuring the length of the skirts?  Be careful, though...when my mom was growing up the skirts had to reach the floor when they kneeled, but they would be sneaky and roll them up at the waistband when people weren't looking.
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  • PiruPiru member
    100 Comments
    Man, does any thread on here last more than two posts before derailing?

    Anyway...

    Yes, I'd say it's rude, and I am not a hoity toity that would jump in and say it's rude to not cut the cake or give expensive gifts or something silly like that.

    It sounds like you're a bit of a control freak and honestly if you want to control everything down to what people where and what the kids are doing, you're not going to have a good time at your own wedding because it's not going to go perfectly no matter what.

    Call for RSVPs if needed. If someone shows up dressed inappropriately, laugh about it and move on. It's not the end of the world and if it reflects badly on anyone it will be them, not you. Don't make a list, you have to have SOME trust that people know how to dress for a formal wedding. There's always one that doesn't. Oh well.
    And if you should die before me, ask if you can take a friend. Pick a flower, close your eyes,and drift away- STP
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  • Mrs.B6302007Mrs.B6302007 member
    5000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited March 2010
    <div style="margin:0px;padding:5px;background-color:#ffffff;font-family:Arial,Verdana,sans-serif;font-size:12px;">[QUOTE]Guest will be expected to wear at least semi-formal attire. For those of you who have no idea what this may entail, a nice pair of slacks and a button-down shirt for the guys, and either a dress, skirt, or pants suit for the ladies. Ladies, please respect the formality of the occasion, and dress appropiately. That means that if your skirt does not reach past your fingers when your hands are at your side, please rethink your attire.  We do not want the groomsmen to suffer from a pulled neck. Thank you.I had nothing to do with it, but I like the way he worded it, and that he left it in a joking manner.[/QUOTE]

    I'm not finding the joke.
    </div>
    The Bee Hive Est. June 30, 2007
    "So I sing a song of love, Julia"
    06.10.10

    BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_rude-enclose-rules-of-event-sheet-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:4955ee4c-6203-4264-bc60-8c194adea880Post:89f0a60e-6510-403d-905b-0cf8580b2cec">Re: is it rude to enclose a "rules of the event" sheet for the guests?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Wow, this has been quite amusing...  I'm usually a lurker on this board, but I did want to say to the OP about the attire part of the issue.  On our wedding website, FI wrote in the attire section:  Guest will be expected to wear at least semi-formal attire. For those of you who have no idea what this may entail, a nice pair of slacks and a button-down shirt for the guys, and either a dress, skirt, or pants suit for the ladies. Ladies, please respect the formality of the occasion, and dress appropiately. That means that if your skirt does not reach past your fingers when your hands are at your side, please rethink your attire.  We do not want the groomsmen to suffer from a pulled neck. Thank you. I had nothing to do with it, but I like the way he worded it, and that he left it in a joking manner.  And, yeah, I do have some family that will probably be showing up in jeans and t-shirts.  Will it bother me?  No, I'll be happy that they are with me and FI on our special day.  
    Posted by mizri[/QUOTE]

    This language sounds like something you'd get at a middle school dance.  Ridiculous and insulting to your guests.  If I got this from any non-family member, I wouldn't go to the wedding.
    image
  • Well, considering weddings are, generally, formal affairs and there are people out there that do not know what this means....  We also won't be pissed if people don't listen.  If they show up in sweats, big deal.  At least we have them with us sharing our day.  But I do have some younger family members, and so does FI, that tend to dress as if they work a street corner, and really, we don't want the groomsmen to get pulled necks....  It's tacky.  But formal attire is not required.  
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_rude-enclose-rules-of-event-sheet-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:4955ee4c-6203-4264-bc60-8c194adea880Post:fd8a936a-da66-46a1-befa-f3116fca47cf">Re: is it rude to enclose a "rules of the event" sheet for the guests?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm not finding the joke.
    Posted by Mrs.B6302007[/QUOTE]

    It must be because you're pregnant, B.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_rude-enclose-rules-of-event-sheet-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:4955ee4c-6203-4264-bc60-8c194adea880Post:b03f0fad-a4d2-4bba-839f-5cd840d407a4">Re: is it rude to enclose a "rules of the event" sheet for the guests?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Well, considering weddings are, generally, formal affairs and there are people out there that do not know what this means....  We also won't be pissed if people don't listen.  If they show up in sweats, big deal.  At least we have them with us sharing our day.  But I do have some younger family members, and so does FI, that tend to dress as if they work a street corner, <strong>and really, we don't want the groomsmen to get pulled necks</strong>....  It's tacky.  But formal attire is not required.  
    Posted by mizri[/QUOTE]

    Are they horny 14 year old boys?
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_rude-enclose-rules-of-event-sheet-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:4955ee4c-6203-4264-bc60-8c194adea880Post:7e2587f4-e49e-4af8-99ca-900a8dca2804">Re: is it rude to enclose a "rules of the event" sheet for the guests?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: is it rude to enclose a "rules of the event" sheet for the guests? : Are they horny 14 year old boys?
    Posted by sucrets4[/QUOTE]
      <div>
    </div><div>No, but they are single males....  Damn, is everyone on here so serious?  Men will turn to look at someone dressed like a hooker.  And if you think your man won't, you're an idiot.</div>
  • edited March 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_rude-enclose-rules-of-event-sheet-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:4955ee4c-6203-4264-bc60-8c194adea880Post:b03f0fad-a4d2-4bba-839f-5cd840d407a4">Re: is it rude to enclose a "rules of the event" sheet for the guests?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Well, considering weddings are, generally, formal affairs and there are people out there that do not know what this means....  <strong>We also won't be pissed if people don't listen.  If they show up in sweats, big deal.  At least we have them with us sharing our day. </strong> But I do have some younger family members, and so does FI, that tend to dress as if they work a street corner, and really, we don't want the groomsmen to get pulled necks....  It's tacky.  But formal attire is not required.  
    Posted by mizri[/QUOTE]

    But this is the whole point of contradiction here. If it really and truly didn't matter  to you guys that they wore sweats, why would you need a dress code specification? It is kind of insulting and if it's not going to change how people dress either way, then why bother offending your guests with your perceptions that they don't know how to dress appropriately?



    image
    Taco cat: Always a palindrome. ALWAYS, okay J&K?

    "cool......insult my size 2 body or my natural brown hair...or the fact that my parents own a country club, I have no budget for a wedding, and I have horses. I really dont care. Its better then having roots." ~ futurepivko
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_rude-enclose-rules-of-event-sheet-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:4955ee4c-6203-4264-bc60-8c194adea880Post:54065141-757e-4265-9a6c-d7ee8fda279e">Re: is it rude to enclose a "rules of the event" sheet for the guests?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: is it rude to enclose a "rules of the event" sheet for the guests? :    No, but they are single males....  Damn, is everyone on here so serious?  Men will turn to look at someone dressed like a hooker.  And if you think your man won't, you're an idiot.
    Posted by mizri[/QUOTE]


    I don't think <em>serious </em>is the word.
    The Bee Hive Est. June 30, 2007
    "So I sing a song of love, Julia"
    06.10.10

    BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
    image

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_rude-enclose-rules-of-event-sheet-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:4955ee4c-6203-4264-bc60-8c194adea880Post:54065141-757e-4265-9a6c-d7ee8fda279e">Re: is it rude to enclose a "rules of the event" sheet for the guests?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: is it rude to enclose a "rules of the event" sheet for the guests? :    No, but they are single males....  Damn, is everyone on here so serious?  Men will turn to look at someone dressed like a hooker.  And if you think your man won't, you're an idiot.
    Posted by mizri[/QUOTE]

    "My man" certainly wouldn't break his neck over it.  Of course, I dress like a hooker every day, so...
    image
  • I can't fit into my hooker clothes and I'm having trouble finding them in maternity sizes.
    The Bee Hive Est. June 30, 2007
    "So I sing a song of love, Julia"
    06.10.10

    BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
    image

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_rude-enclose-rules-of-event-sheet-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:4955ee4c-6203-4264-bc60-8c194adea880Post:54065141-757e-4265-9a6c-d7ee8fda279e">Re: is it rude to enclose a "rules of the event" sheet for the guests?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: is it rude to enclose a "rules of the event" sheet for the guests? :    No, but they are single males....  Damn, is everyone on here so serious?  Men will turn to look at someone dressed like a hooker.  And if you think your man won't, you're an idiot.
    Posted by mizri[/QUOTE]

    I never said that my H wouldn't, however I don't think he would physically harm himself just to look at a half naked chick.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_rude-enclose-rules-of-event-sheet-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:4955ee4c-6203-4264-bc60-8c194adea880Post:fe8b9325-bc9b-4ade-a8dc-5ab728d554ff">Re: is it rude to enclose a "rules of the event" sheet for the guests?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I can't fit into my hooker clothes and I'm having trouble finding them in maternity sizes.
    Posted by Mrs.B6302007[/QUOTE]

    HAHAHA!

    Just let your belly hang out, it'll be all good.  Make sure you get a nice, supportive bra, though.
    BFP(1) DD1 born 4.17.10 @ 33w5d due to pPROM
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  • I say do away with the dress code and just hire EMTs to stand by with a bunch of neck braces. Problem solved!



    image
    Taco cat: Always a palindrome. ALWAYS, okay J&K?

    "cool......insult my size 2 body or my natural brown hair...or the fact that my parents own a country club, I have no budget for a wedding, and I have horses. I really dont care. Its better then having roots." ~ futurepivko
  • Around here, the husbands and wives all break our necks to look at the hookers.

    But that's only to see if we can figure out if they're really female or not.
    The Bee Hive Est. June 30, 2007
    "So I sing a song of love, Julia"
    06.10.10

    BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
    image

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