Mangagement Rings?

bride2beNCG

Have I missed a trend?

I've now seen three males that I know, all engaged to women, and all wearing what appear to be wedding bands on their left ring fingers. Seems bizarre to me. Anyone else heard of this yet?

SunriseAmber

My sister in law gave one to her husband. I was told it's a part of his Brazilian culture.

Blueyed228

I have never heard it called this.  The only guys I know who wear "engagement" rings are my gay friends.

I have never understood the trend of girls giving guys bands.  If im being completely honest, it just makes me think the girl is really insecure and wants people to know that he is off the market.

I guess thats my unop of the day.

lyradimer

Cultural traditions aside, I feel like the kind of woman who would make her man wear that would be the same kind who would get the band that leaves "married" imprinted on the finger when the ring is taken off. Insecure, definitely.

LiLe422

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_mangagement-rings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:638382a9-e229-4727-ab44-4eb4efeef0fcPost:de5db3d6-dd49-4856-9daa-dc0166e25ccd">Re: Mangagement Rings?</a>:
[QUOTE]I have never heard it called this.  The only guys I know who wear "engagement" rings are my gay friends. I have never understood the trend of girls giving guys bands.  <strong>If im being completely honest, it just makes me think the girl is really insecure and wants people to know that he is off the market. </strong>I guess thats my unop of the day.
Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]

That pretty much sums up my feelings on mens engagement rings as well.  Just seems weird to me.

SunriseAmber

Blue, I don't think thats unpop because I must say I agree with you. I find it odd when I see a guy wearing an engagment ring.

[Deleted User]

Blue hit the nail on the head. I think it's too much.

SunriseAmber

Well I couldn't tell the difference between his engagement ring and wedding ring so I asked FI why he was already wearing his wedding ring. I think it takes something away from the ceremony if he is already wearing what looks like a wedding ring. But thats just my opinion.

StephBeanWed61502

In Response to Re:Mangagement Rings?:[QUOTE]Cultural traditions aside, I feel like the kind of woman who would make her man wear that would be the same kind who would get the band that leaves "married" imprinted on the finger when the ring is taken off. Insecure, definitely. Posted by lyradimer[/QUOTE]

Why the assumption that the men are being forced to wear these rings? Isn't it possible a man could genuinely want to wear something to signify his engagement, the same way many women do? I do agree anyone who has to force anyone else into wearing something to signify their commitment is being insecure, but I don't get why we're automatically assuming that all straight men who wear engagement rings have been forced to do so.

Also, regardless of whose decision it is, I do find it a little strange, if only because, as PPs have pointed out, how do you tell the difference between the engagement ring and the wedding ring? Does the guy wear two bands after marriage? Let the engagement band double as the wedding band? All in all, I am confused by this trend.

Blueyed228

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_mangagement-rings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:638382a9-e229-4727-ab44-4eb4efeef0fcPost:78f8003c-718b-496e-a825-87db1c6f374e">Re:Mangagement Rings?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Mangagement Rings?: Why the assumption that the men are being forced to wear these rings?<strong><u> Isn't it possible a man could genuinely want to wear something to signify his engagement, the same way many women do?</u></strong> I do agree anyone who has to force anyone else into wearing something to signify their commitment is being insecure, but I don't get why we're automatically assuming that all straight men who wear engagement rings have been forced to do so. Also, regardless of whose decision it is, I do find it a little strange, if only because, as PPs have pointed out, how do you tell the difference between the engagement ring and the wedding ring? Does the guy wear two bands after marriage? Let the engagement band double as the wedding band? All in all, I am confused by this trend.
Posted by StephBeanWed61502[/QUOTE]

In my opinion, no.  I find it highly unlikely.

Benny618

My friend and his fi had a very long engagement because they wanted to save up for their dream wedding.  After a couple years he decided he wanted to wear a ring.  He told me he envied that she had this symbol of their commitment on her finger every day, but he didn't have one yet.  They are now married and he recently got a tattoo of a ring on his finger that can be seen when he is not wearing his wedding ring.  I know for a fact that his wife had no impact on his decisions, it was all his idea. 

I'm not saying I'm a fan of this at all, but I promise you it's likely that there are some guys who WANT to wear an engagement ring, because my friend was one of them!  To me it's a little strange but it's not really any of my business, and his reasoning behind it was kind of sweet.

SunriseAmber

Steph, I believe my sisters in law's H took off the engagment ring and just wears his wedding ring now.

Blueyed228

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_mangagement-rings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:638382a9-e229-4727-ab44-4eb4efeef0fcPost:21d95dba-5d43-4be5-b0af-5b6819c7509b">Re: Mangagement Rings?</a>:
[QUOTE]My friend and his fi had a very long engagement because they wanted to save up for their dream wedding.  After a couple years he decided he wanted to wear a ring.  He told me he envied that she had this symbol of their commitment on her finger every day, but he didn't have one yet.  They are now married and he recently got a tattoo of a ring on his finger that can be seen when he is not wearing his wedding ring.  I know for a fact that his wife had no impact on his decisions, it was all his idea.  I'm not saying I'm a fan of this at all, but I promise you it's likely that there are some guys who WANT to wear an engagement ring, because my friend was one of them!  To me it's a little strange but it's not really any of my business, and his reasoning behind it was kind of sweet.
Posted by Benny618[/QUOTE]

Or its likely that he got tired of hearing his FI give him crap about not wearing a ring.

But I tend to look at the negative side of things.

Benny618

As I explained in my post, it was 100% his choice, his FI (now wife) did not care either way.  Not every woman is insecure and not every man's actions are intended to pacify his wife.  Did you even read my post before judging my friend?  It's not my FI's style to wear a ring before marriage either, but being so negative about total strangers must be exhausting. 

Blueyed228

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_mangagement-rings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:638382a9-e229-4727-ab44-4eb4efeef0fcPost:a45cdf54-fc05-467a-8282-a1adaa1a64d1">Re: Mangagement Rings?</a>:
[QUOTE]As I explained in my post, it was 100% his choice, his FI (now wife) did not care either way.  Not every woman is insecure and not every man's actions are intended to pacify his wife.  Did you even read my post before judging my friend?  It's not my FI's style to wear a ring before marriage either, but being so negative about total strangers must be exhausting. 
Posted by Benny618[/QUOTE]

Oh relax sweetie.  Its not that seriously.  I dont give a nonfuck about your friend.

But yes.  I judge any man who feels the need to wear a god damn engagement ring.  To me it makes him look like a p*ssy.  And any women who wants her FI to wear one comes off as super insecure and lame.

achiduck

FI's BM wears a mangagement ring but it's his wedding ring - he will not get a second ring. His FI will just put it on him at the ceremony as normal. Apparently it was his idea.

They're both of Canadian/European descent so no cultural traditions that I'm aware of.

Blueyed228

Why the hell is it called a "management" ring anyway?

Blueyed228

OMG im seriously slow today.  I get it now.  Man-engagement. 

Jesus im slow.

AllAboutTheBenjamin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_mangagement-rings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:638382a9-e229-4727-ab44-4eb4efeef0fcPost:a45cdf54-fc05-467a-8282-a1adaa1a64d1">Re: Mangagement Rings?</a>:
[QUOTE]As I explained in my post, it was 100% his choice, his FI (now wife) did not care either way.  Not every woman is insecure and not every man's actions are intended to pacify his wife.  Did you even read my post before judging my friend?  It's not my FI's style to wear a ring before marriage either, but being so negative about total strangers must be exhausting. 
Posted by Benny618[/QUOTE]


B/tch please.  Go schit in your hat.

MoonlightSilver

I don't understand the confusion between engagment and wedding bands for men. I've seen girls wearing wedding bands as engagmenet rings, and my SIL wears her engagement ring as a wedding band. If girls can mix it up, why can't guys? 

My husband wears his wedding band on a necklace. Before we were married, he wore a different ring with my name engraved on it on the necklace. I had one too, for when I was working in the barn or garden and didn't want to get my engagement ring dirty or lost. I never forced him to wear his ring, he wanted to wear it. 

I don't see how wearing an engagement ring would make a man look bad, while wearing a wedding band doesn't. Same thing, different stage of the relationship. 

SunriseAmber

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_mangagement-rings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:638382a9-e229-4727-ab44-4eb4efeef0fcPost:c958a0b6-a102-4e97-b9f8-36ed056c7954">Re: Mangagement Rings?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Mangagement Rings? : B/tch please.  Go schit in your hat.
Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]


AATB <3

I love that this is how you come back to the boards. That just made my day. Thanks

[Deleted User]

Oh blue, you and your nonefuck judging. Be nice.

daria24

One of my friends is Brazilian, and he and his wife both got rings when he proposed. They wore them on their right hand, when they got married they moved them to the left hand. I thought it was nice since it was a part of his culture.

But otherwise, I think it's weird. Probably because I think jewelry, other than a watch and a wedding ring, looks weird on a man. 

doublenn

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_mangagement-rings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:638382a9-e229-4727-ab44-4eb4efeef0fcPost:781f851a-b3e9-4f30-894e-79436e8f2c0c">Re: Mangagement Rings?</a>:
[QUOTE]One of my friends is Brazilian, and he and his wife both got rings when he proposed. They wore them on their right hand, when they got married they moved them to the left hand. I thought it was nice since it was a part of his culture. But otherwise, I think it's weird. Probably because I think jewelry, other than a watch and a wedding ring, looks weird on a man. 
Posted by daria24[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Yup, I was about to say this. I'm Brazilian, and you don't really confuse the wedding band for the engagement ring (they're actually the same ring). You wear it on your right hand while engaged, and at the wedding you switch it over to the left hand. What I find really silly is that the "promise ring" culture is HUGE in Brazil. You both wear a silver/white gold band on your right hand if you're in a serious relationship. Engagement rings/wedding bands are all yellow gold.</div><div>
</div><div>I also dislike calling it "mangagement". Guys don't get "mangaged", they get engaged, just like women.

</div>

Blueyed228

Who buys the guys ring in the Brazillian culture?

doublenn

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_mangagement-rings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:638382a9-e229-4727-ab44-4eb4efeef0fcPost:57476a81-7579-4ff4-aa42-685ae2be603e">Re: Mangagement Rings?</a>:
[QUOTE]Who buys the guys ring in the Brazillian culture?
Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]

<div>I think rings get purchased together by the couple. I moved before friends started getting engaged, so I never heard stories, I just know how the rings are worn. Promise rings are purchased by either the guy or girl, I've heard both ways.</div>

Ali092011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_mangagement-rings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:638382a9-e229-4727-ab44-4eb4efeef0fcPost:2e2c855b-1a0e-4da2-ac49-94f750cd29b9">Re: Mangagement Rings?</a>:
[QUOTE]Cultural traditions aside, I feel like the kind of woman who would make her man wear that would be the same kind who would get<strong> the band that leaves "married" imprinted on the finger when the ring is taken off</strong>. Insecure, definitely.
Posted by lyradimer[/QUOTE]

What?! I have never heard of this. The idea that anyone, male or female, would want that is crazy to me. I've seen the rings that leave an imprint of a heart and thought it was kind of cute, but "married"? Yup, the only people I could see wanting to do this are those who believe that their SOs slip their wedding rings into their pockets when they go to bars.

I don't really have much of an opinion one way or the other about engagement rings for men. If a dude wants one, then he should go for it. There are women that buck "tradition" and <em>don't</em> wear engagement rings, so anything goes, really.

entropicbeauty

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_mangagement-rings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:638382a9-e229-4727-ab44-4eb4efeef0fcPost:231941c4-232e-4f71-88f3-2a66b1b49c7e">Re:Mangagement Rings?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Mangagement Rings? : In my opinion, no.  I find it highly unlikely.
Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>My now husband wanted to start wearing his wedding band during our engagement because he genuinely liked the ring and felt he should have the option to also wear a ring to indicate the engagement.</div><div>
</div><div>There's nothing wrong with doing it either way - people can do what they want to and it doesn't necessarily mean their "insecure" fiancee is strong-arming them into doing it.

</div>

ElleB87

H and I discussed rings when we started discussing marriage. He told me he liked the idea of both of us having e-rings and therefore I got him one. Everyone we know loved the idea of both of us having rings and it was 100% his choice, just like me wearing a ring was my choice. Anyone who is so immature and insecure that they have to "force" their spouse to do anything shouldn't be getting married...or probably be in a relationship at all.

Blueyed228

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_mangagement-rings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:638382a9-e229-4727-ab44-4eb4efeef0fcPost:cc05a878-fcc6-4513-bf83-032180570f54">Re:Mangagement Rings?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Mangagement Rings? : My now husband wanted to start wearing his wedding band during our engagement because he genuinely liked the ring and felt he should have the option to also wear a ring to indicate the engagement. There's nothing wrong with doing it either way - <strong><u>people can do what they want to and</u></strong> it doesn't necessarily mean their "insecure" fiancee is strong-arming them into doing it.
Posted by entropicbeauty[/QUOTE]

They sure can.  And I can think it is lame as ish.  Free country and all.

rajahmd

My fiance wears an engagement ring.  Similar to some of the stories above, it was his idea.  He wanted to wear a ring as a sign of the committment we had made to each other to get married, the same thing my ring represents.  I bought it for him, just as he bought mine.  It's a smaller, less shinier, lighter version of his wedding ring.  He plans on moving it to his right hand when we get married because the two rings are too wide to fit on one finger.

I think it's a bit shortsighted and stereotypical to say it's weird for guys to wear engagment rings.  If he wants to, why should he not?  What if a female does not want to wear one? Your gender should not determine how you demonstrate your love for someone to the world.  If a man wants to wear an engagement ring to show his love for the person he wants to marry, so be it.  It doesn't hurt anyone else for him to show his love in the way that makes him the happiest.