The worst wedding trends on Pinterest...

HaileyDancingbear

I third the trash the dress thing.  People saying it's fun doesn't really change my mind either- Demolition looks very fun, doesn't mean I'm going to buy a sledgehammer and try it out in my own home.  Trashing a dress is just wasteful to me.  I get not wanting to keep the thing, but there are SO many different ways you can deal with that.  I've heard of a place that converts gowns into cocktail dresses (I plan on doing this, but converting the gown by myself rather than using the service) and it's also nice to just sell it, even if you don't need money for anything at the moment, it's never a bad thing to put a little cash into your savings account.  

Also regarding the "Dad was the first person I loved" pins, those make my skin crawl a bit.  Mainly because the first time I heard that phrase was when my psychology teacher was teaching us about oedipus and how Freud thinks every man subconsciously wants to sleep with his mother, and every woman subconsciously wants to sleep with their father.  While explaining the reasoning behind it he literally said "Your mother/father was the first man/woman you loved."  

So when I see those pins the first thing I think of is Freud and it grosses me out big time.  Not that that's what the pins intend, that's just my association with it and the phrasing does not help.

McCMal

Inkdancer said:

tesgirl123 said:

I had my nails done when my FI proposed but only because I suspected it was coming, when he randomly suggested going away to Atlantic City for a weekend, but there was no photographer there so I guess I shouldn't have said yes.

I really hate the signage about picking a seat and not a side. Sides make it easier for me to spot my friends/family in the crowd.  

I also roll my eyes at the "powerful" pics of people praying together before the wedding.   I'm not super religious and am a bitch, so sue me.

Trash the dress shoots also drive me crazy.   You spent hundreds, if not well over a thousand dollars on your dress, veil, alterations, and you are going to destroy it?   WTF is wrong with you?   Donate the dress to a returning soldier or his FI.   Sell it or something, but don't destroy it.

Re: the "pick a seat not a side" thing-- my "side" is going to be about 40 people, max. My FI's "side" is about 80. I really don't want to look out there and realize that none of my family cared enough about me to show up, and FI's family is there in droves. I'd rather just have everyone sit where there's a chair.

Totally with you on the "trash the dress" though... there are so many people who could benefit from a discounted/ gently used dress, but no, you had to have a stupid photo shoot where you ruin it on purpose.

Same here on the pick a seat thing. I'm from Utah, the wedding is by our home in Colorado so literally there will be 20 people from my side of the family. It's not going to work to do a bride and groom side at all, considering there's 200 people coming total 

Vivandiere8

Marzipan13 said:

I'm also getting really sick of seeing "Ways to Propose to Your Bridesmaids!" posts on Pinterest.  
Really?!  Call me cynical and no fun, but I just asked mine whenever I saw them after we got engaged.  When I asked my MOH, we were at a bar just hanging out, the bartender overheard us, and gave us each a drink on the house.

Now isn't that much better than this shit?  (see pic)

I know! I had never heard of this before I got engaged! When did this become a thing?! I saw something somewhere about buying some fancy clear bottles with "will you be my bridesmaid" letters in them for when you "propose" to your BMs. Before you know it it will be expected that when you ask each bridesmaid you have to present them with a piece of jewelry and a friendship vow. There will be a section on TK and WW for buying bridesmaid proposal crap, and there will be a section on the message boards where people can post about their proposal experiences with their bridesmaids. People will stress out about how to ask, share ideas, pictures, worst  propose to your bridesmaid stories... You all think I'm joking? Just wait....

hellohkb

I "fourth" the trash the dress trend as well. It comes across as wasteful and just plain dumb. Why not donate it to a charity so another woman can enjoy your gown?

I love it when people say, "but it's MY dress! I'll do what I want!" It comes off as so speshul snowflakey.

hellohkb

Well this is creepy. Found it on pinterest.

tesgirl123

Inkdancer said:

tesgirl123 said:

I had my nails done when my FI proposed but only because I suspected it was coming, when he randomly suggested going away to Atlantic City for a weekend, but there was no photographer there so I guess I shouldn't have said yes.

I really hate the signage about picking a seat and not a side. Sides make it easier for me to spot my friends/family in the crowd.  

I also roll my eyes at the "powerful" pics of people praying together before the wedding.   I'm not super religious and am a bitch, so sue me.

Trash the dress shoots also drive me crazy.   You spent hundreds, if not well over a thousand dollars on your dress, veil, alterations, and you are going to destroy it?   WTF is wrong with you?   Donate the dress to a returning soldier or his FI.   Sell it or something, but don't destroy it.

Re: the "pick a seat not a side" thing-- my "side" is going to be about 40 people, max. My FI's "side" is about 80. I really don't want to look out there and realize that none of my family cared enough about me to show up, and FI's family is there in droves. I'd rather just have everyone sit where there's a chair.

Totally with you on the "trash the dress" though... there are so many people who could benefit from a discounted/ gently used dress, but no, you had to have a stupid photo shoot where you ruin it on purpose.

I can see it working in your situation, and I would completely understand it for you, but somehow, I think a lot of people pinning it are just trying to be twee about it.

As for BM proposals, those are ridiculous.  When I asked my younger sister to be my MOH, she was said that she was asked by her friends they gave her a little hankerchief with a poem hand embroidered on it.   She then said it was super weird and really happy I just called and asked her.   

You can also add that little display of "Meet the 'Maids" and something about "gotta have my girls."    There is just something cloyingly sweet about it and I just roll my eyes about it.

Mandafly84

hellokellybean said:

Well this is creepy. Found it on pinterest.

BLECH.  I hate all "Charlie's Angels"-type poses with hands making fake guns.  Lame.

AuroraRose41

Found this gem on Pinterest.  I think guests probably will notice if you cut some of these out....

 

Inkdancer

AuroraRose41 said:

Found this gem on Pinterest.  I think guests probably will notice if you cut some of these out....

 

Actually I think the only one I disagree with is the rehearsal dinner.

cupcait927

AuroraRose41 said:

Found this gem on Pinterest.  I think guests probably will notice if you cut some of these out....

 

I am, in fact, cutting every single one of these things. Everything 1 - 9 is unnecessary and for 10, we're not having a rehearsal since it's just FI and I, no bridal party so therefore, no need to have a rehearsal dinner. This is actually one of the better wedding-related things I've seen on Pinterest.

AuroraRose41

ckel24 said:

AuroraRose41 said:

Found this gem on Pinterest.  I think guests probably will notice if you cut some of these out....

 

I am, in fact, cutting every single one of these things. Everything 1 - 9 is unnecessary and for 10, we're not having a rehearsal since it's just FI and I, no bridal party so therefore, no need to have a rehearsal dinner. This is actually one of the better wedding-related things I've seen on Pinterest.

My main issue with this was 1 and 2.  The others are definitely up to the bride and groom, but I think favors and save the dates are worth it.  I just think since you are hosting a party, a favor is a small token of your appreciation to the guests for coming. 

 

And the save the date is very appreciated, especially for out of town guests. One of my best friends from high school is getting married this July. They were initially planning a family only wedding (and my friend told me this in person about a year ago), but decided to have a larger one including all of their friends (which I found out from our mutual friends).  The mutual friends seemed to think that I would be invited, and were shocked that I hadn't heard, since I was a lot closer to the groom then they were.  I was very confused about the situation, and decided to ask my friend about what I had heard (just that the type of wedding was changed and why they decided to do this; did not bring up whether or not I was invited).  After my friend explained all of the details, he told me "oh, and of course you are invited, and here is the date and time."  I live on the other side of the country, and if my friends hadn't told me about the change, I would have had to scramble to make travel plans upon receiving the invitation/just before receiving it, since the groom probably wouldn't have told me until then.  So, IMO, save the dates are very courteous to guests. 

jalyndani

I've never understood the monogrammed matching robes for bridesmaids. Contrary to the company's claims, One Size does NOT fit all, at least not in a manner that's acceptable for those "getting ready together" pictures. Um, no. 

Inkdancer

AuroraRose41 said:

ckel24 said:

AuroraRose41 said:

Found this gem on Pinterest.  I think guests probably will notice if you cut some of these out....

 

I am, in fact, cutting every single one of these things. Everything 1 - 9 is unnecessary and for 10, we're not having a rehearsal since it's just FI and I, no bridal party so therefore, no need to have a rehearsal dinner. This is actually one of the better wedding-related things I've seen on Pinterest.

My main issue with this was 1 and 2.  The others are definitely up to the bride and groom, but I think favors and save the dates are worth it.  I just think since you are hosting a party, a favor is a small token of your appreciation to the guests for coming. 

 

And the save the date is very appreciated, especially for out of town guests. One of my best friends from high school is getting married this July. They were initially planning a family only wedding (and my friend told me this in person about a year ago), but decided to have a larger one including all of their friends (which I found out from our mutual friends).  The mutual friends seemed to think that I would be invited, and were shocked that I hadn't heard, since I was a lot closer to the groom then they were.  I was very confused about the situation, and decided to ask my friend about what I had heard (just that the type of wedding was changed and why they decided to do this; did not bring up whether or not I was invited).  After my friend explained all of the details, he told me "oh, and of course you are invited, and here is the date and time."  I live on the other side of the country, and if my friends hadn't told me about the change, I would have had to scramble to make travel plans upon receiving the invitation/just before receiving it, since the groom probably wouldn't have told me until then.  So, IMO, save the dates are very courteous to guests. 

I think 1, 2, and many others are conditional.

For 1, it really depends on the favor. Who wants a goldfish bowl carved with someone else's wedding date? If you're flying, it's not really going to be easy to get a bottle of wine on the plane or in your suitcase. Unless a favor is edible immediately, or something that you really know your guests are going to love, I think it's totally skippable. (For the record, best favor I ever got was last summer when B&G bought everyone caramel corn from the groom's home city and doughnuts from the bride's. Most of them didn't make it out of the building, though...)

I also think that Save the Dates can get really out of hand. Of course you should let your out of town guests know about the wedding in plenty of time for them to make travel arrangements. But sending magnets plastered with your face to everyone you know is completely unnecessary. It would frankly be easier and cheaper to call, email, or write a note to those who need the time to plan. My family friend who's getting married in my city really didn't need to send me a 4x6 picture of her face with the ring displayed prominently.

AuroraRose41

@Inkdancer (didn't want a huge quote box):

I think you have valid points. I just think completely forgoing save the dates (and only waiting until you send out invitations to inform people) is rude if you know you have guests that need to make arrangements. However, I completely agree that you don't need to send a save the date to everyone that you plan to invite.  And yes, I agree that you want to make sure that the favors are actually useful and appreciated, such as something edible. 

tesgirl123

I agree with some of that list(a lot of churches won't allow aisle runners for liability reasons).   But to not have a BP because it isn't necessary isn't always true.    I have two sisters that would legitimately be hurt if they weren't included as by MOH as well as a best friend that is as close as my sisters.  

I think this list is saying you can save a ton of money, but if you are reasonably creative you don't need to spend a ton of money to have a great wedding.   Technically, to be married all you need is a 5 minute ceremony at the JOTP.

HaileyDancingbear

Newest addition to my "Bad Wedding Ideas" board.  Ugh.

lovesclimbing

Marzipan13 said:

I'm also getting really sick of seeing "Ways to Propose to Your Bridesmaids!" posts on Pinterest.  
Really?!  Call me cynical and no fun, but I just asked mine whenever I saw them after we got engaged.  When I asked my MOH, we were at a bar just hanging out, the bartender overheard us, and gave us each a drink on the house.

Now isn't that much better than this shit?  (see pic)

The copy editor in me just went THERE'S NO QUESTION MARK!!!

AuroraRose41

Okay, how about a cake topper then? Artistically speaking, the level of detail is great. But, what theme would this even go with?????

jalyndani

AuroraRose41 said:

Okay, how about a cake topper then? Artistically speaking, the level of detail is great. But, what theme would this even go with?????

Um....The Little Mermaid meets An American Tail? 

hikebikebemerry

AuroraRose41 said:

Okay, how about a cake topper then? Artistically speaking, the level of detail is great. But, what theme would this even go with?????

An acid trip themed wedding?

Cookie Pusher

I can't even. That is just so freaking weird! I'm so, so glad I don't Pinterest. I'd want to throw things at the computer all day!

Chipmunk415

AuroraRose41 said:

Okay, how about a cake topper then? Artistically speaking, the level of detail is great. But, what theme would this even go with?????

I'm guessing for the local taxidermist?

jalyndani

So after the discussions on this board, and after seeing the 10th "burlap & lace" wedding on my Facebook newsfeed.... I'm proud to announce that we are completely eliminating burlap from my wedding decor. I swear, I'm so sick of seeing it that I don't even like it anymore. We've decided to move in a different direction. 

So, ladies I thank you for your insight! 

ETA: Also thanks to this board, I realized the error of my ways in the idea to have guests drink out of mason jars. I never even thought about some of the complications that y'all brought up. So again, I thank you  

hellohkb

AuroraRose41 said:

Found this gem on Pinterest.  I think guests probably will notice if you cut some of these out....

 

I have to agree with all of these except for the rehearsal dinner (if you have a bridal party). I won't be doing a lot of those things including Save the Dates. 

hellohkb

HaileyDancingbear said:

Newest addition to my "Bad Wedding Ideas" board.  Ugh.

This idea was originally supposed to be for in your home. You and your fiance would add money to it every week or how ever often you wanted to so you could have some extra spending money. Not surprised that some pinners think this would be a *GREAT* idea at the actual wedding.

EverythingReese

The heart shape thing I agree with, but screw them, I'm using ALL THE BURLAP IN PHILADLPHIA and I don't care.

Inkdancer

EverythingReese said:

The heart shape thing I agree with, but screw them, I'm using ALL THE BURLAP IN PHILADLPHIA and I don't care.

Out of curiosity, how much burlap is there in Philadelphia? I don't imagine they'd have a lot of demand for it...

EverythingReese

Haha, I have no idea, really. But the craft stores always have plenty in stock

Fairyjen1

AuroraRose41 said:

Found this gem on Pinterest.  I think guests probably will notice if you cut some of these out....

 

We aren't having most of these. I have two attendants. We aren't having a rehearsal, so no rehearsal dinner required. However, my in-laws want to host a welcome dinner the night before since there are only 17 of us at a destination wedding. That can probably count for the rehearsal dinner. 

Marzipan13

1) I agree about the favors, but we're doing them anyway - we found something that really represents us / our backgrounds / our honeymoon, etc.  So, long story short, I wouldn't be doing them if I hadn't find something perfect.

2) I disagree - I think these are helpful, especially for out-of-town guests, and people who work crazy hours (retail, medical, etc) so they can get off work.

3) Neutral - We're having a traditional full Catholic Mass, so I'm making our programs.  I think they're a nice touch for those who aren't Catholic, and a nice memento either way... I know I always appreciate them, but they're certainly not necessary.

4) AGREED.  Nothing else to say.  Unnecessary & definitely cost-effective to cut.

5) BLEH NO.  AGREED 1000%.

6) Agreed, unnecessary.  It'd be nice, but who would say your wedding was a failure if you didn't have champagne for them?

7) Neutral - I've been to weddings that have huge bridal parties, and weddings that only have a maid of honor.  I'm having 6 (5 BMs and 1 MOH) myself, but if it's your style to have none, that's your call.

8) Ehhh... I love children, but I have to agree with this.  Save yourself the headache.

9) Agreed - these are wasteful and unnecessary.

10) Disagree!  For me, the rehearsal dinner is a special, intimate dinner with the people who you handpicked to help make your wedding awesome.  Even if you're not having a rehearsal, I still like the idea of a rehearsal dinner for them.