Cookie cutter TK advice you hate.

NuggetBrain

I don't think cash bars are that bad.  Our wedding was the first in our group that had an open bar.  But it meant that to save money we had to find a venue that allowed you to bring in your own liquor, which greatly narrowed the search and knocked out a few of my "dream venues".  But it was one of Noodle's non-negotiables, and he really didn't have many, so I figured it was more important to host the bar than have my dream venue.  That being said, I also wouldn't judge someone who decided it was more important to have their dream venue than host a bar. 

HOWEVER....we went to a wedding where it was a cash bar a few years ago, and we didn't know that it was, and there was no ATM in the facility, and THAT pissed me off.  A lot of people had to repeatedly run across the street in their nice outfits in the middle of a Minnesota winter to the gas station to take out money.  Folks were not happy.

I will say that I hate the feeling of judgyness that seems to pop up when people mention that they spent a lot of money on their wedding.  It's not a contest to see who pulled off the cheapest wedding.  Seriously.  Also, I agree with hating on the "cocktail napkins/valet/favors aren't needed and are a waste of money" thing.  Did I need to get a valet for my wedding?  No.  But it saved my guests having to walk a block to the parking lot and back, so it was worth it to me.  It's MY money to "waste" and if I want to pile it up in my backyard and set it on f*cking fire, it's really none of your business to tell me how you think I'm wasting it. 

J&K10910

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_cookie-cutter-tk-advice-hate?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:840a1d72-d47c-4764-a01d-9e3db712f1fdPost:8c240999-8010-4a71-9d9d-b6435bd5d64a">Re: Cookie cutter TK advice you hate.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Cookie cutter TK advice you hate. : If someone is struggling with their budget and has already cut out a lot of stuff and still can't make it work, it just makes sense (to me, anyway) to cut the guest list.
Posted by ILoveMilkDuds[/QUOTE]

I'd personally rather be invited to a wedding with a cake and punch reception to see a friend get married and celebrate with them than be cut so they could serve a full meal.  Provided it's not at a dinner time and I'm not expecting a full meal.  I get cranky when I expect food and there's not enough food.

J&K10910

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_cookie-cutter-tk-advice-hate?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:840a1d72-d47c-4764-a01d-9e3db712f1fdPost:c84a15ee-86c1-4cf1-ad0e-c2c80f90d30b">Re: Cookie cutter TK advice you hate.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Cookie cutter TK advice you hate. : Oh, me too!  I've seen posts where the bride is unwilling to move to a  non-meal time cake/punch reception, because they want an evening event.  Sometimes cutting guests is the quickest way to make that work.
Posted by ILoveMilkDuds[/QUOTE]

Yes, then I do agree with that.

msteph82

I love this thread.  That is all.  Everyone of my grievances (You have PLENTY of time, you're only doing open bar for an hour!?!?, asking a bm to step down, stressing about something and wanting feedback, etc) have all been aired. 

Belle2Be

Ok I have one! I hate the "OMG, don't include your children in your wedding ceremony" crap. There's a lot of reasons why, but what it comes down to is not every wedding is "your" wedding, and considering there is nothing rude or etiquette breaking about having kids in the ceremony (as more than RB's or FG's), then why is it a big deal?

J&K10910

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_cookie-cutter-tk-advice-hate?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:840a1d72-d47c-4764-a01d-9e3db712f1fdPost:d591c7e6-42eb-4290-90bb-499c006da1df">Re: Cookie cutter TK advice you hate.</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok I have one! I hate the "OMG, don't include your children in your wedding ceremony" crap. There's a lot of reasons why, but what it comes down to is not every wedding is "your" wedding, and considering there is nothing rude or etiquette breaking about having kids in the ceremony (as more than RB's or FG's), then why is it a big deal?
Posted by Belle2Be[/QUOTE]

Wait, what?  Who says that?

Anysunrise

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_cookie-cutter-tk-advice-hate?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:840a1d72-d47c-4764-a01d-9e3db712f1fdPost:0e6682ba-f960-4f9c-b43c-868596f9a0a6">Re: Cookie cutter TK advice you hate.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Cookie cutter TK advice you hate. : Wait, what?  Who says that?
Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]

I've seen it before, there was one thread where the bride wanted her son to say something during the vows and everyone was all "zomg, the vows are about you and your FI, not your kids".

[Deleted User]

Several people told me that involving Ben in our wedding was creepy.

J&K10910

OH, I get it now.  You're right, I have seen that.  I can see both sides.  Like yaeh, you're not marrying your kid...but at the same time, when you have kids already (especially if one of you is not the bio parent), getting married isn't just about joining the bride and groom, but the entire family.  I think that's important.

[Deleted User]

I think they can be creepy, but I also think there are a lot of things about the ceremony that can be creepy and uncomfortable. Like I fucking hate the thing where someone plays a song and the bride and groom stare at eachother for the entire length of the song.

NuggetBrain

I know of one wedding where the bride had a little girl from a previous relationship, and when they were exhanging vows and rings, the groom also gave the daughter a ring to pledge his fatherhood or something.  It just sounded incredibly creepy and child-bride-ish to me.  And it was the mom's idea to do it.

I don't, however, think involving children in the wedding in and of itself is bad.  It just depends on how it's done.

NuggetBrain

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_cookie-cutter-tk-advice-hate?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:840a1d72-d47c-4764-a01d-9e3db712f1fdPost:35258cc2-96bb-41bb-a815-1bd61629216a">Re: Cookie cutter TK advice you hate.</a>:
[QUOTE]Ummm I was at a wedding where there was a moment of silence during vows so every one could "listen and witness" the voices of the unborn children the union would produce to cement together the family created that day. WTF??? The sentiment of becoming a family is fine but there is so much wrong with that. For one, God forbid they have trouble getting pregnant.
Posted by MeaghanandMichael[/QUOTE]

I totally would have been the d*ckhead that said something vastly inappropriate during that silence.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_cookie-cutter-tk-advice-hate?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:840a1d72-d47c-4764-a01d-9e3db712f1fdPost:ded28f6f-22e4-408c-a5e2-298e71d83573">Re: Cookie cutter TK advice you hate.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Cookie cutter TK advice you hate. : See, I have to be honest, this is what bothers me. If a $5,000 wedding dress and a large wedding party are higher priorities to someone than an open bar who has the right to judge her? Who cares?  Are cash bars my favorite? No. But I wouldn't begrudge someone their dream dress or a fancy limo so that I could get sloshed for free. 
Posted by JennaV26[/QUOTE]

I'm of the opinion that most people judge a lot. Not all hold a grudge about it, but you judge most things. Including whether or not you like the colors someone chose, if your neighbor's new car is ugly or not, or how your best friend looks in her new sweater. Doesn't mean you'll say anything, but it's hard not to make small judgements like that.

So if I knew someone had an expensive wedding and spent most of that money on themselves and very little on their guests... well, I would think they were selfish.

[Deleted User]

I think I'm in the minority, but I would never think that. As long as I had somewhere to sit and was not set on fire or made to eat shiit, I would be happy for the couple and thankful that they invited me to share their celebration.

LessThanZero

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_cookie-cutter-tk-advice-hate?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:840a1d72-d47c-4764-a01d-9e3db712f1fdPost:6a119c2d-3837-4670-b668-dd45a7b2f7bc">Re: Cookie cutter TK advice you hate.</a>:
[QUOTE]I think I'm in the minority, but I would never think that. <strong>As long as I had somewhere to sit and was not set on fire or made to eat shiit</strong>, I would be happy for the couple and thankful that they invited me to share their celebration.
Posted by cew515[/QUOTE]

::Crosses cew off of wedding guest list::

[Deleted User]

It figures you would make people eat shiit.

NatesGirl16

If I take one bite of the cat shiit, will you bring me a steak?

LessThanZero

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_cookie-cutter-tk-advice-hate?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:840a1d72-d47c-4764-a01d-9e3db712f1fdPost:6c383bb6-2766-41d1-8391-85526f578d4a">Re: Cookie cutter TK advice you hate.</a>:
[QUOTE]If I take one bite of the cat shiit, will you bring me a steak?
Posted by NatesGirl16[/QUOTE]

Ha! YOU EAT THE CAT POOP!

zitiqueen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_junior-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:06377a1c-5187-4983-916e-3d1198139261Post:18919ab3-7d0d-4b3b-b109-f2fc846f1ad3">Junior Bridesmaids</a>:
[QUOTE]How old should girls be before they can become a junior bridesmaid???
Posted by nazane[/QUOTE]