Ring re-do

megk8oz

I kind of think that a girl should love her e-ring ... but at the same time, that her FI should know her well enough to pick out something she'd love. Does that make any sense?

And I am proof that even if a guy wants to make the propsal a complete surprise, there are subtle ways to get clues for what she likes. DH proposed over a year before I "expected" it, and he managed to get me my idea of a perfect ring. Just paying attention and asking simple questions at random times goes a long way.

I also voted that Cew's a megabitch, so there's that.


ETA: Even if he picked out something totally NMS, I can't imagine ever hating my e-ring ... clearly this was the ring DH thought he should propose with, it must have caught his eye as "perfect for me" somehow. There's been other jewerly he's given me that I probably never would have picked on my own, but the fact that he picked it out "special" for me made me love it.

If he did get me a ring I thought was awful, I'd probably end up growing to love it, and I most certainly would never tell him if I didn't.

AllAboutTheBenjamin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ring-re?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:9f4627d3-b4ab-4c42-92fb-44b7c2a40df4Post:6a6ffe41-8033-47f0-a06a-a132fe7f9d7a">Re: Ring re-do</a>:
[QUOTE]I was thinking of goat ring girl too. Sorry if you're lurking goat ring girl! She apparently loved it though. People have different tastes.
Posted by MarriedInAFever[/QUOTE]

She loved it, and that's all that matters.

I wouldn't want an engagement ring that was an animal, though.   I'd definitely be speaking up.

I do think that unless your man knows your tastes - you really should be able to talk about what style you want before he goes and spends a ton of cash on it.  It's a big purchase, and I'm sure it would do well for him to make sure you like it before he buys it.

prideeinpynk

I'm sorry, but I can't see any reason to replace the symbol of your engagement. It just takes all meaning out of it.

Even if FI got me an ugly ring, I probably wouldn't even think twice about it because I'd love it just because it was from him.

I also don't believe in upgrading the stone later on or anything like that. My mom did have two stones added after all of her children were born. My sister's birth stone is a diamond, and my mom had my brother and my birth stones added to it, which I think is perfectly acceptable because it's not an upgrade so much as an add on.

TheCranberry

Do you guys really think the guy should know what kind of ring the girl likes without input from her or her close friends/family?  Round v. Princess v. Emerald v. Gold v. White Gold v. Platinum?  Side stones?  Solitaire?  Cluster?  The choices are almost infinite!

My FI and most of my friends' FI/hubbies were at a total loss.

kimmieniesink

My FI and I went shopping for rings around our 5th anniversary, solely because he had no idea about jewellery, diamond quality, etc. and was interested in finding out more. I showed him a couple of things that I liked and didn't like, and 6 months later he bought me one of the rings that I pointed out that I liked. It is different than the other bands, its unique and I love it!

flyjawn

pick the ring together and avoid this situation.

MarriedInAFever

Well, I'm pleasantly surprised by the responses. Thanks everyone!

shellydiane820

I remember telling Nick one time after a friend got engaged "I don't care what it looks like as long as its not pear shaped or marquis" and he didn't disappoint.  Then again, I'm not terribly picky.  He apparently remembered me saying that though, because I got a brilliant...which I don't know what that means, its round and sparkly though, so its good in my book.

missy68

I chose both my engagement ring and wedding band at the same time while FI/BF was there. We went back in closer to the wedding to choose his wedding band once he'd decided to get one.

From the beginning of our relationship, he said he would never attempt to buy an engagement ring without me - he'd be terrified he'd get something I wouldn't like. The surprise would be in when I would get it. And God, did he ever draw that out....

I think Vegas makes good points from the male perspective - style wise, he can see it, but if it's just a matter of a woman wanting a bigger rock, it would be more hurtful - I think that's important to keep in mind.

vegasgroom

My FI was easy, I already knew she wanted diamond solataire, six prong, doesn't like yellow gold.  I did make the assumption on my own that she'd prefer more diamond rather than less, that seemed to hold true.  LOL

prideeinpynk

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ring-re?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:9f4627d3-b4ab-4c42-92fb-44b7c2a40df4Post:71eb978a-bf1f-4c05-afc4-c3a9bacfc9d3">Re: Ring re-do</a>:
[QUOTE]Do you guys really think the guy should know what kind of ring the girl likes without input from her or her close friends/family?  Round v. Princess v. Emerald v. Gold v. White Gold v. Platinum?  Side stones?  Solitaire?  Cluster?  The choices are almost infinite! My FI and most of my friends' FI/hubbies were at a total loss.
Posted by TheCranberry[/QUOTE]

But shouldn't all that matters be that he bought and gave her the ring?

AllAboutTheBenjamin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ring-re?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:9f4627d3-b4ab-4c42-92fb-44b7c2a40df4Post:c08453de-6bac-4e61-8afa-ed3363c50a06">Re: Ring re-do</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Ring re-do : But shouldn't all that matters be that he bought and gave her the ring?
Posted by prideeinpynk[/QUOTE]

I get what you're saying - but I also think that if the guy isn't exactly sure what the girl's tastes are, he needs to be getting input.

This thread is a good testament to the fact that all couples are different - some women would love ANY ring that was given to them no matter what, and others have much more specific things in mind.  Some men would be offended if their fiancee didn't like the ring they bought, others wouldn't be offended at all.

prideeinpynk

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ring-re?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:9f4627d3-b4ab-4c42-92fb-44b7c2a40df4Post:b7d7a1e2-b2d1-4c19-812f-c23abb02ea95">Re: Ring re-do</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Ring re-do : I get what you're saying - but I also think that if the guy isn't exactly sure what the girl's tastes are, he needs to be getting input. This thread is a good testament to the fact that all couples are different - some women would love ANY ring that was given to them no matter what, and others have much more specific things in mind.  Some men would be offended if their fiancee didn't like the ring they bought, others wouldn't be offended at all.
Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]

True, I get what you're saying.

Although, I would take my statements back if he bought me this POS:


<a href="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/5/12/d5ebf1d5-bbbf-4ce2-8cfc-93bff9d3dc9a.large.jpg" title="Click to view a larger photo" onclick="return gSiteLife.LoadForumPage('ForumImage', 'plckPhotoId', 'd5ebf1d5-bbbf-4ce2-8cfc-93bff9d3dc9a', 'plckRedirectUrl', gSiteLife.EscapeValue(window.location.href));" class="PhotoLink"> <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/5/12/d5ebf1d5-bbbf-4ce2-8cfc-93bff9d3dc9a.medium.jpg" alt="" width="171" height="171" /></a>

ETA: meant that as a joke...

vegasgroom

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ring-re?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:9f4627d3-b4ab-4c42-92fb-44b7c2a40df4Post:c08453de-6bac-4e61-8afa-ed3363c50a06">Re: Ring re-do</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Ring re-do : But shouldn't all that matters be that he bought and gave her the ring?
Posted by prideeinpynk[/QUOTE]

I don't think so, that might work with flowers but she has to wear the ring for everyone to see for the rest of her life.  I would have never bought my FI's ring without enough ideas to know exactly what to get.  I could have bought her some hideous thing that I, as a guy, thought "looked cool" but would leave her explaining to her girlfriends that "yes, that's my engagement ring" or "but he loves me and I love him" for the rest of her life, but I wouldn't be any happier knowing that was the case then she'd be having to wear it.

Anysunrise

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ring-re?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:9f4627d3-b4ab-4c42-92fb-44b7c2a40df4Post:164057a4-40e2-4b74-8fae-423544bdc948">Re: Ring re-do</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Ring re-do : True, I get what you're saying. Although, I would take my statements back if he bought me this POS: ETA: meant that as a joke...
Posted by prideeinpynk[/QUOTE]

What, you don't want to marry Edward?!


I hate myself a little for getting what I assume is a Twilight reference.

AllAboutTheBenjamin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ring-re?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:9f4627d3-b4ab-4c42-92fb-44b7c2a40df4Post:164057a4-40e2-4b74-8fae-423544bdc948">Re: Ring re-do</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Ring re-do : True, I get what you're saying. Although, I would take my statements back if he bought me this POS: ETA: meant that as a joke...
Posted by prideeinpynk[/QUOTE]

Hahahahaha - see?  I think for all of us there's SOMETHING that we absolutely would not wear.  Doesn't make us ungrateful.

vegasgroom

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ring-re?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:9f4627d3-b4ab-4c42-92fb-44b7c2a40df4Post:164057a4-40e2-4b74-8fae-423544bdc948">Re: Ring re-do</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Ring re-do : True, I get what you're saying. Although, I would take my statements back if he bought me this POS: ETA: meant that as a joke...
Posted by prideeinpynk[/QUOTE]

That  is exactly what I was talking about in my post, that thing looks like a football and I can see a guy buying it because he loves football and of course FI will love it. LOL

GreenPepperBurger

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ring-re?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:9f4627d3-b4ab-4c42-92fb-44b7c2a40df4Post:e7ab319b-4221-4860-a9b9-669604a3f129">Re: Ring re-do</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Ring re-do : I don't think so, that might work with flowers but she has to wear the ring for everyone to see for the rest of her life.  I would have never bought my FI's ring without enough ideas to know exactly what to get.  I could have bought her some hideous thing that I, as a guy, thought "looked cool" but would leave her explaining to her girlfriends that "yes, that's my engagement ring" or "but he loves me and I love him" for the rest of her life, but I wouldn't be any happier knowing that was the case then she'd be having to wear it.
Posted by vegasgroom[/QUOTE]

You think just like my BF. I just asked him what he would do if I said I didn't like my ring and he said he would take me back to the store to pick out one I liked: "You have to love your ring, period. You're going to be looking at it for the rest of your life."

maratea

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ring-re?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:9f4627d3-b4ab-4c42-92fb-44b7c2a40df4Post:88519c1f-6af8-40a4-921c-59619dd28eb6">Re: Ring re-do</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Ring re-do : That  is exactly what I was talking about in my post, that thing looks like a football and I can see a guy buying it because he loves football and of course FI will love it. LOL
Posted by vegasgroom[/QUOTE]

Or it could be the ring Edward gave Bella in Twilight. But, I'll let this one slide since you're a dude.

vegasgroom

Ah, yeah didn't see that, it looks like a superbowl ring to me. :-)

prideeinpynk

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ring-re?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:9f4627d3-b4ab-4c42-92fb-44b7c2a40df4Post:88519c1f-6af8-40a4-921c-59619dd28eb6">Re: Ring re-do</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Ring re-do : That  is exactly what I was talking about in my post, that thing looks like a football and I can see a guy buying it because he loves football and of course FI will love it. LOL
Posted by vegasgroom[/QUOTE]

I was joking. It's the Twilight ring. But honestly, if it came from his heart I'd still wear it. lol

megk8oz

Yeah ... I take back my response. I'd make DH do a do-over if he gave me the Twilight ring.

MeaghanandMichael

I honestly don't think it is a big deal to reevaluate rings. Like any financial decision, a big purchase should be opnely and honestly discussed between couples. I can understand how some girls would feel they need to hold the conversation delicately with FI, but I am pretty sure frank conversation about likes/dislikes and money is why you married the person you did/are.

Mike and I talked about it and we are staying with the ring I have. It was not a source of drama or anythiing.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ring-re?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:9f4627d3-b4ab-4c42-92fb-44b7c2a40df4Post:c08453de-6bac-4e61-8afa-ed3363c50a06">Re: Ring re-do</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Ring re-do : But shouldn't all that matters be that he bought and gave her the ring?
Posted by prideeinpynk[/QUOTE]

I do get this. I mean, the ring is just a symbol. But on the other hand, it's also a RING. A piece of jewelry you'll probably wear more often than not. And should really like. I just think it's crappy for a guy to get NO input on something he probably knows little about in the first place. Since he's going to the trouble of buying it and spending a bunch of money and all...

kpwedkk

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ring-re?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:9f4627d3-b4ab-4c42-92fb-44b7c2a40df4Post:cde7c08e-9b4e-4ee8-9bd9-ac248f1d174a">Ring re-do</a>:
[QUOTE]I've heard of some girls on TK getting another ring or changing their rings when they weren't happy with the one they received during the proposal. I'm curious what people think about this. If your FI gave you a ring you didn't like, would you tell him? Do you think you're justified in getting another?
Posted by MarriedInAFever[/QUOTE]

No... NO, and <strong>NO!</strong>  He took a lot of courage to ask you and propose to you whether it be in front of your family and friends, or publically in front of a bunch of strangers, or just alone to you.  I love the ering/wedding ring that I received.  This is something that's super sentimental, and I wouldn't change it in a million years, or a google years.  The thought didn't even cross my mind that I wouldn't like the ering. 

MeaghanandMichael

Your sig and your post are interesting KP. A little forced, though.

missy68

After 40 years of marriage, and having to have her ring cut off, my dad DID decide to not only replace my mom's engagement ring and wedding ring, but to upgrade them, because he was in a place where he could. The prongs on her ring were compromised, etc. so they took the original diamonds and created a new ring with it in platinum I think, and added an anniversary band on one side. Whatever he did, she's got a sparkly left hand, but nothing outrageous.

I taught with a girl who had an obnoxious set. I don't know if they were real or a faux set. We taught 5th grade, and they looked really out of place. God knows we didn't make the money to afford them, and I have doubts about what her husband did - but who knows. But, they were borderline gaudy.

Blueyed228

I love my ring, I would never change it.

Even if I hated it, the gesture means more than the ring ever will.

future-mrs

I can't believe some of the stories on Just Engaged...maybe they aren't stating it correctly but most girls are like "yeah, this ring just won't do, try again."  And that is the rudest thing I've ever heard of.  I can't imagine these men not being hurt at least a little, if not a lot. 

I agree with--why aren't these couples talking some about what she wants??  Unless he wants it to be a total surprise but even then, isn't he going to want some idea of what she wants...

Just don't get it I guess.  My FI told me from the get-go that he wasn't buying a ring without me. 

jelique7

I think if you want to upgrade your stone or maybe change the setting for an anni or special occasion and you both agree on it that would be ok. But to demand a new ring because you hate if then no that is unbelievably rude!