Ring re-do

luckyme502

I voted yes, but let me explain...

I am a jewelry fanatic.  FI knows this about me.  I don't have lots of jewelry because I am very picky, I just feel like why would we spend the money on something I don't absolutely love.  FI and I looked at rings for over a year.  I gave him lots of help in picking a ring for me.  In the end, he let me pick my ring, it was easier for him and he knew I would love the ring. 

If he had picked a ring, and I didn't like it, I would have told him.  In fact, he even told me he would only buy a ring he could return incase I didn't like it. 

I just feel like this is a piece of jewelry I will wear everyday for the rest of my life, so when I look at it I want to love it!

betrothed123

I voted for Cew, because why wouldn't you vote for Cew? 

There's no way in hell I would have hurt my H's feelings by telling him I didn;t like the ring he bought me.  He wasn't sure of the style I liked best so he asked me to go with him to the store, but I honestly would have worn anything he gave me, no matter how hideous it may have been.  However, I would hope that by the time he asked me to marry him he would have had some sort of idea of what kind if jewelry I prefer. 

I wore a piece of string tied around my finger for quite a while until he bought my ring, so I'm obviously not very picky.

Knittibell

When I got engaged recently, FI and I had gone to look at some settings. We knew we wanted a colored stone, as I still have diamonds that I wear on my right hand from my first husband, and FI HATES the diamond industry, so that was a win-win decision. I saw a really gorgeous peridot in a simple setting with little diamonds down the side, and loved it. Little did I know he went back and bought it, carried it to Spain and proposed.  

I loved the peridot, but peridot, like all green stones (much to my dismay, as green is my favorite color), is very soft, and really not suited for an engagement ring. I was devastated- FI did not care at all, he thought the ring was inexpensive enough to risk carrying to Spain and saw it as a "place holder" until we could design a ring together.

What we decided on was a sapphire, primarily because of the stone's hardness. Chose a stone and then the setting, which was really similar to the ring he proposed with. I had the peridot from the original ring set into a pendant because it was so sentimental to me.

So, in the end, I have a different ring than the ring I was proposed to with. I love the ring, and the fact that we designed it together. Had peridot been strong enough, I'd have kept the original ring. I don't understand women who upgrade, because they want a bigger flashier stone... but I suppose if I thought a ring was really ugly, I might change it- you DO wear it forever, and IMO the wedding BAND is a lot more important than the engagement ring.

susieq87

I love my ring because my FI loves it. He picked it out with me in mind, and its perfect. He said I could get a better one down the road if I wanted (when we have more money) but I wouldn't do that. It wouldnt be the same.

PunkRockPrincess13

My first instinct was to vote Crew is a megabitch..but then I realized I have NO idea who Crew is and that wouldnt be totally fair... so I went with NO!

Meagan78

I didn't love mine so I got a really wide wedding ring that, oops, can't be worn with my solitaire engagement ring.  I told him I would wear it on the other hand but really I'm going to try to convince him to let me melt it down and make a pendant from it.

rak123

Yep, I traded my ring in for a different one.  I showed him rings I liked on a website, and he bought one of them.  I didn't like it as much in person, and he agreed, so we gave my first ring back and got a new one we both liked better.  He was not offended. 

I must be in the monority here, but my e-ring has little sentimental value to me.  The ring isn't the important, it's the asking me to marry him that is important to me.

Dferrari17

Because he wasn't really sure what to get me my FI just picked out the center diamond and put it on kind of a cheapy band. Then, a few months after he proposed, we went together and he let me pick out my own setting. It worked really well and I just got to pick up my ring which I absolutely LOVE!

I don't think I would have wanted to change the ring at all though if the situation had been different.

smooth84

Absolutely NOT. FI even offered to trade it in when we got our bands but I love it. He took his time and picked out the perfect ring that fits my style. We actually went to go look at rings before he proposed and the one I have is one of many he asked my opinion on. It was this and another that were in top running, but I didn't know that he had already bought it and he was just double checking. But anyway..I think the ring has a sentimental value that I would never replace.

catemeg

My BF and I have picked out two rings that we both love and fit in our budget - it's up to him to choose one and have my great-grandmother's diamond set in the setting of his choice.

We were talking about them, and how the ones I like are relatively inexpensive (<$1500). 

He was engaged before, when he was in college.  His then-fiance hated the ring he bought so she wouldn't wear it.  She wanted a $28k designer ring. So he bought her a new one - her father convinced him that it was worth going into debt for the woman you're going to marry.  *Snort* That's a freaking fantastic way to plan a future together!  So he had a ring custom designed for $8k.  They broke up shortly after, and he sold the ring for $7k, so he lost $1k in the whole mess.

He was nervous that I was picking inexpensive rings because I knew he can't afford it, so he mentioned that I could "trade up" at some point later on when we're more financially well off (he's a law student right now).  I literally stopped walking, pulled him to face me, and held both his hands.  I told him that it didn't matter what he got me, I would never trade it for anything.  It will be the ring that he uses to ask me to spend the rest of my life with him, and just for that reason, it will be truly special to me.  He got all smiley and slightly teary, and said it was that kind of mindset that made him know I was the perfect woman for him.

And then I laughed and said I wouldn't be opposed to more jewelry in the future (earrings, necklaces, even an 'anniversary band'), but never a new engagement ring!

luckyme502

I think there is a huge difference between not liking the ring, like the setting or the shape, and not liking the ring, you think it's too small. 

I have no problem if someone doesn't like the ring because it's not their style or they think it's ugly, you will wear it everyday after all.

I do think it is wrong to demand a more expensive, bigger ring.  That seems selfish. 

prideeinpynk

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ring-re?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:9f4627d3-b4ab-4c42-92fb-44b7c2a40df4Post:53b0fc21-81e0-4be6-9c66-264744e4b943">Re: Ring re-do</a>:
[QUOTE]When I got engaged recently, FI and I had gone to look at some settings. We knew we wanted a colored stone, <strong>as I still have diamonds that I wear on my right hand from my first husband</strong>, and FI HATES the diamond industry, so that was a win-win decision. I saw a really gorgeous peridot in a simple setting with little diamonds down the side, and loved it. Little did I know he went back and bought it, carried it to Spain and proposed. :D 
Posted by Knittibell[/QUOTE]

I hope this isn't too personal, but can I ask why you still wear something from your first husband?

Knittibell

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ring-re?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:9f4627d3-b4ab-4c42-92fb-44b7c2a40df4Post:712c29eb-91e5-46b6-b487-1d15804429dd">Re: Ring re-do</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Ring re-do : I hope this isn't too personal, but can I ask why you still wear something from your first husband?
Posted by prideeinpynk[/QUOTE]


Aaah, I should have been more clear. My first husband was killed a year and a month after our wedding, by an elderly driver. When he proposed I said I'd wear the ring forever, and I loved it, and him. And I meant it. About a year and a half after he was killed I had the ring made a little larger to fit on my right hand, and stopped wearing my wedding band (which is a really simple plat. band).

So, I've always worn the ring my late husband gave me. Fi is totally fine with it. I joke with him that he can't EVER die on me, because I am now out of ring fingers.

So my first husband is my late husband, not my ex-husband, which makes all the difference. To me, anyhow.