Another fun update from drunken aunt land

AllAboutTheBenjamin

She's attempted to contact me three times over the Easter weekend, and I've ignored each attempt.  So, I get my updates from my mother.

Uncle is out of jail, and drunken aunt and uncle are going to marriage counseling and AA meetings.  They also recently bought my cousin a "big boy bed" and are going to clean out his bedroom.

Aside - their five year old (will be six in June) has slept with them, in their bed, since he was diagnosed with his immune disorder at 6 months old.  Her defense of this is that he was always scared to be left alone in his crib because he spent lots of time in hospital cribs, with nurses and doctors poking him and whatnot.  Subsequently, his bedroom has become a hoarded mess - but apparently they are going to "fix this," together.

I don't believe that just because she and my uncle will be going to marriage counseling, that she will give up her boyfriend.  She loves the drama of it all way too much.

I also don't believe that because they are going to AA meetings that it will fix their chronic problems with alcohol.  Bitch needs some serious detox and to be in rehab, but, ooooooooh well.

mehgank

My goodness, AATB, I don't know how you do it. Good for you for keeping your distance though. I didn't like that she put you in such a sticky situation when you were the only one who knew about her cheating.

I pray for their child; that's the definitely of an unhealthy environment for a 5 year-old.

pirategal03

I don't remember if you'd said before.  Does the boyfriend know about the H?

ZombieNates

Oh, God.  Sorry, AATB .  And I feel really bad for the kid.

AllAboutTheBenjamin

Well - convenient for the past five, six months or so jcb - but like, before?  No.  She was very, very cavalier with me about her and her H's personal lives.  They tried for quite a while to have another baby and she'd tell me they were basically having sex all the time.

I am still (yes, still) befuddled over the affair.  They always behaved like kids having fun and like they were best friends.  Last summer when we were there visiting, they were fine.  They were even giving Ben and I relationship advice - they've been married for 15 or 16 years, so they were talking about things they did to keep their relationship alive.  She even showed me some things she'd kept (hoarding type tendencies) from early on in their relationship - they have this large engagement photo of them in their hallway, and tucked into the frame she has the very first card he ever sent her.  When she showed it to me she got a little emotional, talking about how they met and all they've been through over the years.

To see how it has unraveled is pretty much a mindfuck, to me.

AllAboutTheBenjamin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_another-fun-update-drunken-aunt-land?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:b6dbb2bf-770f-4003-8127-149dd202fb96Post:060b7f92-b1bc-4124-9551-d3dcc5c844a3">Re: Another fun update from drunken aunt land</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't remember if you'd said before.  Does the boyfriend know about the H?
Posted by pirategal03[/QUOTE]

Oooooh you must have missed the last update :)

Yes, he knows about the boyfriend (and boyfriend totally knows she is married).  My aunt confessed to him about the boyfriend, and then my uncle started drinking a lot more, acting violent and whatnot and then she told him that her boyfriend wanted to kick his ass because of the way my uncle was treating her.   That's when he started keeping an ax in the bedroom, you know - to protect himself from the boyfriend.  Because that's what normal people do to protect themselves...

And a little over a week ago they were having a ridiculous violent fight, so my grandpa called 911 and the cops came and arrested my uncle and he was charged with assault.

Good times, good times.

ZombieNates

I understand, AATB. But remember, people usually put up an "everything is okay" front and you never really know the inner workings of a marriage.  I bet they had problems for quite some time and somehow Aunt got it in her mind that the affair was an okay solution/retribution/action.

AllAboutTheBenjamin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_another-fun-update-drunken-aunt-land?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:b6dbb2bf-770f-4003-8127-149dd202fb96Post:488a9909-7498-4550-8d17-268fac61593b">Re: Another fun update from drunken aunt land</a>:
[QUOTE]I understand, AATB. But remember, people usually put up an "everything is okay" front and you never really know the inner workings of a marriage.  I bet they had problems for quite some time and somehow Aunt got it in her mind that the affair was an okay solution/retribution/action.
Posted by ZombieNates[/QUOTE]

I've thought of that before, too Nates.  However if you know these people they are completely incapable of keeping anything a secret.  My God, when she told me about the boyfriend, she didn't want anyone else to know except me because she was fearful about how it would hurt her H and didn't want him to leave her.  Then it just spiraled down into this bizarre shitstorm after that. 

I wish I could make stuff like this up.  I'd make a killing writing for television soap operas.

ZombieNates

Well, that's true.  She did spill her guts about the affair.  What does your mom say?

AllAboutTheBenjamin

Oh my mother hates my aunt, so she never has anything good to say.

The last time I spoke with my mother, she just kept blathering about how this behavior is "classic" aunt, that she probably drove her H to insanity because she knows exactly what buttons to push to piss people off.  My mom and my aunt have had a very hot and cold relationship for a long time - sometimes they get along fine, other times, they can't even be in the same room as each other.

I didn't know this but I guess when my aunt was in No-Dak for our wedding, she had to stay back with my parents and our hosts as they did some cleaning up at the wedding reception.  My aunt kept following my mom around and constantly asked her what my mom wanted my aunt to do, and my mom just said "Just throw away the garbage," but I guess my aunt wasn't really understanding the instructions so she went and complained to one set of our hosts and was rambling on and on about how my mom is "the biggest bitch in the entire world."

My mom can certainly be a bitch but yeah... she wasn't being that bad, I don't think, and aunt of course was drunk and they were not on the best of terms at that point anyway.

My mom says that the AA meetings, and the fact that they bought their son a new bed and are going into counseling, are mostly just things that will make everyone think things are getting better between them, when they really aren't.  I'm inclined to agree with her.

SarahPLiz

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_another-fun-update-drunken-aunt-land?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:b6dbb2bf-770f-4003-8127-149dd202fb96Post:e542a90c-d8e6-4791-b38d-1f1ee225be3b">Re: Another fun update from drunken aunt land</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh my mother hates my aunt, so she never has anything good to say. The last time I spoke with my mother, she just kept blathering about how this behavior is "classic" aunt, that she probably drove her H to insanity because she knows exactly what buttons to push to piss people off.  My mom and my aunt have had a very hot and cold relationship for a long time - sometimes they get along fine, other times, they can't even be in the same room as each other. I didn't know this but I guess when my aunt was in No-Dak for our wedding, she had to stay back with my parents and our hosts as they did some cleaning up at the wedding reception.  My aunt kept following my mom around and constantly asked her what my mom wanted my aunt to do, and my mom just said "Just throw away the garbage," but I guess my aunt wasn't really understanding the instructions so she went and complained to one set of our hosts and was rambling on and on about how my mom is "the biggest bitch in the entire world." My mom can certainly be a bitch but yeah... she wasn't being that bad, I don't think, and aunt of course was drunk and they were not on the best of terms at that point anyway.<strong> My mom says that the AA meetings, and the fact that they bought their son a new bed and are going into counseling, are mostly just things that will make everyone think things are getting better between them, when they really aren't.  I'm inclined to agree with her.</strong>
Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]<div>I agree with her as well. THis is a bandaid on an amputation type of thing. </div><div>
</div>

pirategal03

Oh my.  Yes, an ax is clearly the defensive weapon of choice for the most reasonable among us. 

ZombieNates

Your mom is right.  Well, I'm sorry you guys are dealing with this

mehgank

It's so funny (not haha funny, just odd) that they think that people aren't going to notice right away that all of their efforts are just a clever ruse to have people think that everything's hunky-dory between them.

sucrets4

I've been away for a long time, but this sounds awful!  Not to be picky, but are you sure you should be sharing such detailed info on a public board?  I know it's a trainwreck (and interesting to watch), but it just seems like a little bit too much, you know?

AllAboutTheBenjamin

You have a point, sooks - I don't use names and whatnot, so, hopefully that provides some privacy to a point?  If not I spose, I could stop posting about it.

J&K10910

I tend to agree with Sucrets, AATB.  Mostly because I try to imagine what I would feel if I was one of your family members stumbling upon this, and I have to say, I'd probably hate you forever.

AllAboutTheBenjamin

Alrighty then, I can certainly cease the updates no prob.

sucrets4

It's easy to get caught up with how close you feel to posters on here and forget that anyone can read it.  I would just hate for it to bite you in the a$$ down the line.  Plus, I'm sure that a lot of people who would want the juicy updates are friends with you off TK, right?

Blueyed228

I dont see how complaining about a family member is any different than complaining about a BM, GM, MIL, BIL etc.

sucrets4

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_another-fun-update-drunken-aunt-land?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:b6dbb2bf-770f-4003-8127-149dd202fb96Post:60f5af7a-c7ea-48a7-b7f0-261272a57736">Re: Another fun update from drunken aunt land</a>:
[QUOTE]I dont see how complaining about a family member is any different than complaining about a BM, GM, MIL, BIL etc.
Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]

It's not the relation, it's the detail.  Did I not make that clear? 

If I was going through something as fuucked up as that, I surely wouldn't appreciate intimate details being posted on the internet.  And it's far different than complaining - it's explaining specific things.  Plus, it's not like it's something that affects a wedding directly.  I know that most of the board is personal stuff and not about weddings, but it just seems over the line to me.

Honestly, I'm not around much anymore and it makes no difference to me if AATB posts it.  It's her choice.  But as I said before, sometimes we get caught up in the intimate space it can feel like and forget that it's not.  I was just trying to bring some perspective.

Blueyed228

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_another-fun-update-drunken-aunt-land?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:b6dbb2bf-770f-4003-8127-149dd202fb96Post:27f40e04-0088-4008-9353-9d0760978983">Re: Another fun update from drunken aunt land</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Another fun update from drunken aunt land : It's not the relation, it's the detail. <strong><u> Did I not make that clear?</u></strong>  If I was going through something as fuucked up as that, I surely wouldn't appreciate intimate details being posted on the internet.  And it's far different than complaining - it's explaining specific things.  Plus, it's not like it's something that affects a wedding directly.  I know that most of the board is personal stuff and not about weddings, but it just seems over the line to me. Honestly, I'm not around much anymore and it makes no difference to me if AATB posts it.  It's her choice.  But as I said before, sometimes we get caught up in the intimate space it can feel like and forget that it's not.  I was just trying to bring some perspective.
Posted by sucrets4[/QUOTE]

No, you did.  Maybe I didnt.  I meant that I see people post just as intimate details about the people I listed.  Siblings with drug problems, or parenting issues, IL's with money troubles etc.

I dont have a dog in the fight, I just dont see it as being a big deal.

sucrets4

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_another-fun-update-drunken-aunt-land?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:b6dbb2bf-770f-4003-8127-149dd202fb96Post:40a8117f-c541-4f72-9bb4-3f52c099ab83">Re: Another fun update from drunken aunt land</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Another fun update from drunken aunt land : No, you did.  Maybe I didnt.  I meant that I see people post just as intimate details about the people I listed.  Siblings with drug problems, or parenting issues, IL's with money troubles etc. I dont have a dog in the fight, I just dont see it as being a big deal.
Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]

Perhaps things have changed a lot in the time I've been away.

Blueyed228

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_another-fun-update-drunken-aunt-land?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:b6dbb2bf-770f-4003-8127-149dd202fb96Post:5555917b-56e2-4ac0-ac54-ac0dba647843">Re: Another fun update from drunken aunt land</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Another fun update from drunken aunt land : Perhaps things have changed a lot in the time I've been away.
Posted by sucrets4[/QUOTE]

Maybe.  I dont remember ever seeing people talking about persona stuff being a problem before though.

Nebb

i feel like there has been a lot of trying to tell people what they can/cannot post about lately, complaining about the topic of subject mater. aatb knows what shes doing and thats her choice, theres no reason to try set her straight or tell her what to do because you dont agree with it. 

at this point, i dont think her aunt would even get it if she read this, she hasnt taken any of aatbs very clear hints so i think this is the least of her worries

AllAboutTheBenjamin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_another-fun-update-drunken-aunt-land?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:b6dbb2bf-770f-4003-8127-149dd202fb96Post:4874b435-c764-48e1-8863-f96cfe2372da">Re: Another fun update from drunken aunt land</a>:
[QUOTE]i feel like there has been a lot of trying to tell people what they can/cannot post about lately, complaining about the topic of subject mater. aatb knows what shes doing and thats her choice, theres no reason to try set her straight or tell her what to do because you dont agree with it. <strong> at this point, i dont think her aunt would even get it if she read this, she hasnt taken any of aatbs very clear hints so i think this is the least of her worries</strong>
Posted by Nebb[/QUOTE]

She actually thrives on drama and negative attention anyway, so she'd probably love it I kept this up.

Next time I'll include full names, addresses, credit card numbers, social security numbers, phone numbers, Facebook profile links and toothpaste preferences.

Nebb

oh god haha imagine if your aunt started posting here as a result!! that would be aweful and hilarious all at once

Blueyed228

Sometimes I feel like Nebb lives in my brain. Its creepy.

AllAboutTheBenjamin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_another-fun-update-drunken-aunt-land?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:b6dbb2bf-770f-4003-8127-149dd202fb96Post:86e864a8-3903-4a0a-8207-094ae839100d">Re: Another fun update from drunken aunt land</a>:
[QUOTE]oh god haha imagine if your aunt started posting here as a result!! that would be aweful and hilarious all at once
Posted by Nebb[/QUOTE]

Nebb, can you imagine.  It would be the most epic TK trainwreck in all of history.

Steph0871

I'm glad Blue and Nebb said something. I was going to, then I kept reading.

Sadly, from what you've said about your aunt, AATB, she would probably love this.

LessThanZero

Weren't a bunch of people bent out of shape a few weeks ago when some poster shared a story she got from her sister about a student of hers, which had absolutely no identifying details at all?