Did you get married at the age you planned?

nslack

I thought I would be married young, like 22-23, have kids around 25 or so.  Well it didn't work out that way, I will be 28 when we get married.  When I was younger, it did bother me that we weren't getting married ( we've been together 9 years). 

Now as I look back at my friends who all have been married and have children, half of them don't get along with their spouses, and do nothing but complain abou their children.  Which they wouldn't change anything, but they all have those "what ifs".  After 9 years, I couldn't be happier with marrying  him, we rarely ever fight, and can't wait to have kids together.  So I am glad things didn't work out as I had thought they would.  I feel we will be together a lot longer than most of my peers, and a whole lot happier.

megjm.614

I definitely thought I would be mid 20's like 24-26 but I will be 21 when I get married. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would be married this early but like others have said you don't choose when you fall in love and I'm in love. We've been together since I was 17 and I could not be any happier. Other people have their doubts but I have never been more confident that I will have a happy, divorce-free marriage for the rest of my life!

lisaportillo78

At what age did you want to get married?
At what age did you get married?

Happy? Sad? Thoughts?

The first time I got married I was 21, spent 9 years with an a**hole. Now I'm 32 and in love again. I was supposed to get married 10/17/10, but god had other plans. We are due on 10/13/10! Moved wedding to 5/1/11. I never thought about when I would get married but I knew I wanted to early (mistake with the a**hole). But luckily no kids with the ex makes it easier because I never have to talk to him again (yay). My finance now is a wonderful caring man, who is going to be a wonderful caring father. I can't be happier to be getting married at 33! You know what they say, "Practice makes perfect!" lol

Jangelis

When I was in high school, I figured that Id probably be married by 25/26. However, as I got older I started to set different goals for myself. Marriage by that age did not seem probable. Im now 31 and will be 32 when I tie the knot.

I definitely dont regret not getting married earlier. I think me getting married before might have affected certain things that were important to me such as finishing school, building a house, helping my family etc. Plus I definitley would not have met my husband to be at age 25, so I think that worked out pretty well.

SeptemberFall2011

I figured id get married between 24-25 and have my first 1 or 2 (multiples run in my family) when i was 26-27.  Id like to be done being pregnant at 35.  The idea of being 60 and having high schoolers in my house doesn't appeal to me at all!

jakstr0808

I agree with lots of PPs that I thought I'd be married around 25 or 26 and having kids by 27/28. 

I was definitely right on that track with my college boyfriend, definitely thought we'd be married even a little earlier than that, then I realized he was totally self-absorbed and terrible so I'm so glad that I didn't worry about my preconceived timeline too much to dump him.  Now I'm with the most amazing guy whom without I probably would have never understood what it actually feels like to be loved (previous bf was such a db). 

Now I'll be 27 when I'm getting married but am still pretty on track anyway, because we plan to have kids right away.  It's actually kind of weird to me how it worked out since we're not having kids right away just because I want kids at 28.  I originally thought I'd want a "honeymoon" period with no kids for a few years after the wedding, but FI and I have been living together for the past 2.5yrs and we just bought a house so we feel like we had our honeymoon period of figuring out how to live together and traveling around together and we're really excited to start a family after we get married in October.

melissaortega78

Thought I'd be married by 25 and have a couple kids by age 30. Luckily, I didn't end up with any of my ex-boyfriends (things happen for a reason!) and I met my fiance when I did (at 30). He is everything that I've always looked for in a man and is the perfect match for me. I will be married next summer, at 33, which is later than I ever expected, especially because I've felt the maternal instinct for a while now. Hopefully we will be able to start a family within a year or so of getting married. I really do feel that things fall into place on their own when you allow it to happen. Sometimes there's a good reason things don't go as you plan.

JohnandKatrina2011

In High School, my best guy-friend and I determined that if we were 25 with no hopes with anyone else we'd just get married.  I don't want to have babies in my 30s. 


I had this agreement for age 30 with my best guy friend. Turns out, we started dating last July(2009), after having feelings for each other for 3 years or so. We're getting married July of 2011 and we'll both be 22. I have no regrets but we both think it's funny that we've ended up together when that deal was kind of a joke. Neither of us knew the other shared our feelings.

Neeter59

First time I was 19.  Married 25 years but it fell apart at about 20 years.  Did I ever think I'd be getting married again at 50???  No, but met FI 6 yrs ago and have been ever so happy since then.  No drama, jealousy, etc at our age!  Each of our kids are grown and on their own, so our lives are ours to enjoy at the drop of a hat.  Getting married in Oct!!

patte310

Wow, I am going to be 20 when I get married. This wall makes me feel really young.

libraryfrog

I grew up hearing from my grandparents that "23 is the perfect age to get married" (that's how old they were and they were married for 65 years) but everyone's path is different! I've been with my fiance for almost 10 years now (we're both 25) and we'll be getting marriend in Fall 2011... so we'll both be 26. I know my deal was I just wanted to have any kids I'm going to have by the time I'm 30 because, like others have said, I just don't want to be that old. It's not so much that I'd be 50 when my kids were graduating from high school, but that I'll be 80 when my grandkids are ..... I just know how "old" my grandparents were at that age and I'd really like to be around for as much of my family's lives as I can. But for now, I'm totally happy getting married at 26 and kids will hopefully come in the next few years!

w+w91

i thought i'd be getting married around 23-25 so that i would be done with college, but i'm getting married next year and i'll be 19, i know ppl think i'm too young, but i think it's great that 2 younger ppl can be this comminted at this age rather then being in multiple relationships, so i'm thrilled

peach451

I always thought I'd get married as soon as college was done - so maybe around 22. I was so naive! When I hit 22 I realized that I was nowhere near ready to be married or done with my single life.

I'll be 27 when I get married. It's later than I originally thought but I think that's a good thing. I'm glad I didn't rush into marriage after college - mostly b/c now I'm fairly stable in my career. I'd imagine getting married so early would have stifled  me a bit.

In any case, I'm happy I'm getting married b/c I found the right guy so it doesn't really matter about the timing - although, I honestly wouldn't mind waiting a few more years either.

tyra27

I swore I was suppose to be married by 27 and kids by 30.  I'm 36 now and getting married in 29 days!  Every year after 27 I was wondering why it hadn't happened yet for me or would it ever happen.

I'm so glad God made me wait and blessed me with the man I am to marry on 9/25.  The people I was dating weren't marriage material at all, and I would be miserable now and probably divorced if I had picked my mate.  God presented my future husband to me and he's my best friend.  Regardless of my age, I'm happy that I know I'm with the right person who loves me, wants to be married and have a family, loves God and is man that can take care of his household!

italiangirlelena

No.  I always thought I would get married at 24 and have my kids by 30.  That didn't happen.  I will now be getting married when I am 30 and having kids way after I want to.  Oh well.

summer4077

Growing up, my mom always insisted that my sister and I wait until after 25 to get married.  Sis got married at 29 and I will be 28--best advice my mom ever gave us.  Although I've dated my FI for 4 years, I'm glad we waited.  I have an MBA and he is a pharmacist so we had a lot of school to get through.  I don't feel we were mature enough at 24-25 to get married.  (This is just in our specific situation, not everyone else's.)  We just bought a house and have established careers so I feel we can relax now.  We are going to travel for several years and then maybe have a child around 32 or so.  Most of our friends are single and will probably be early 30s before they marry.  I think people are just getting married older these days.

kymberleeb

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_did-married-age-planned?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:be2ab6b1-c89a-4241-84d9-e54018d1eb05Post:1285f8d6-60ff-432a-a810-e1d7e3c793bd">Re: Did you get married at the age you planned?</a>:
[QUOTE]At what age did you want to get married? 19 or 20 At what age did you get married? I'll be 21 Happy? Sad? Thoughts? I'm very happy with the fact that i'll be 21 and he'll be 26. Ever since i met him when i was in high school in 2006, i grew up super fast. It was a life changing moment for me. Knowing how I was raised and how he was, and how typical Lebanese girls are, i knew that i had to make significant changes to my life. We'll be getting married in July of 2011, and we're so happy together. My first and only love, the timing was perfect.
Posted by zeinas[/QUOTE]


Same here :) we are getting married August 13th, 2011 and i will be a month shy of 21

kymberleeb

I am getting married at 20 but will be really close to 21. i always thought i would be around 23 or 24, but things just fell into place perfectly and at the right time. i met my sailor right out of highschool and we have been dating for 2 years. first and only love, and just like everyone says, you just know. the only thing that makes me sad is the judgement.  i hate hearing "you will get a divorce, you are so young" how sad and depressing is that, especially hearing it when you are completely head over heels in love. just because someone else isnt ready for the commitment, doesn't mean that i am not either. other than that, i am completely happy with the support i get with my family and with the love that i recieve from my relationship.

s2Bmrs*porter

I never really planned any of that stuff, nor did I think about my dream wedding, either.  Somehow (I don't know when) high school and college turned into real life and here I am.  I'll be married next year at 25. I never knew what age I wanted to marry....but I always felt that I was going to have babies by 26.  We'll see! :0)

I wanted to add for you ladies: I honestly don't think it's healthy to commit yourself to a proverbial timeline of your life...especially when you never know WHAT is going to happen.  Because if it happens before you decided you wanted it to, you'll question if it's "right".  And if it doens't happen by the time you thought it would, you'll see your self as a failure although the only standards you are holding yourself to are your own. 

So go with the flow, roll with the punches and take life at face value. 

[Deleted User]

Katie, I'm going to lovingly kick you in the box for starting this thread.

bmcarter18

kinda... i wanted to be married by atleast 23-24 but im actually getting married at 21 so it will be next year in march.

baileybert

I saw myself getting married at 31 or 32 and am getting married at 41. I couldn't be happier about it! I did everything I wanted to do on my own in my 20's and 30's. I had a couple of serious relationships in my 20's so I know that my beau is a great match for me! My only regret is that I would have looked much better in a wedding dress at 31 than I will at 41, but photoshop can take care of that!

Covelloj5201

I am 25 getting married in two weeks- I always thoguht I'd get married around this age back in college, but once I started in the "real world" I thought maybe it was more likely I get married around 26-27. In the end I feel like everything is happening on a good time schedule!! Of course it had a lot to do with being with the right guy and less to do with age!

[Deleted User]

My Mom was a young bride who had me (planned) when she was 20. The marriage didn't turn out well, and by the time she was 28 she was a single mom with 2 kids and no child support. My sister and I were late bloomers because of this.

I was a go-getter in life, and didn't even think about marriage until my early thirties. I dated one guy whom I thought was the one, be I wasn't the one for him. Now I'm engaged to a great guy 38 and will be 39 when I'm married.

Sometimes I'm sad when I see all the dewey faced brides in all the magazines/photographer portfolios/websites because I'll be an older bride with a few wrinkles and a few pounds that I just can't seem to shake. I look young for my age, but I still get wistful about how I used to look, and having kids this late in life won't be easy.

But then, I had a LOT of fun in my 20's and early 30's. I got a great education and have a great job, got to travel a lot and still do, and some of my friends that got married early live vicariously through some the the fun I've had (in turn, I live vicariously thru them by playing with their kids.)

Most importantly, I found the most wonderful guy to spend the rest of my life with. Sometimes, it's just worth the wait. 

[Deleted User]

FI and I are doing things a little backwards I guess.. Pets first, then house, then the wedding (wedding is a week before I'm 28 (Nov this year), FI is 9 months younger than me).. But I always figured I would like to have kids around the age of 30 (and ideally not too much older), and that I would prefer to be able to enjoy being married for at least a year or two before having kids. (My parent married in their early 20s, and they 'grew apart' & consequently divorced, so I was kinda put off young-ish marriage by that - plus if I had married the guy I was dating in my early 20's I'd have been miserable now!)

Luckily my FI felt the same bout the kids around 30 thing (& marriage before kids) and so things have turned out this way (for the marriage step at least - ya never really know how long it'll take to get preg when you start trying do U?) so definitely feel lucky & "on-track". Just to get the career to follow!

KatlinW

I figured I would marry young. I will be 1 1/2 months shy of 21 when I get married (in 8 days!) and he will me a couple months shy of 22. I don't think he planned on getting married so young, but we love each other and know that we will be together for the rest of our lives, so we didn't see a point in waiting.

lilmizdncnqueen

I always wanted to be married when I was 24 - seemed like the magic age for me. Wouldn't you know I'm getting married exactly 1 week after my 24th birthday! :-) I'm extremely happy about it...funny how things work out.

kekat11

I'll be 20 when I get married. I always thought I would be older and out of college, but I wouldn't trade a moment of my time with my FI. Before I met him I never thought I would get married.

Boomkin

I'll be getting married just a few days after my 25th birthday. I had expected to be married much earlier, and I am a bit sad about it. We've been pushing it back for us both to finish college even though we were ready when we were 18.

We both sometimes wonder whether it would have been better to just go with it instead of waiting, as it is we'll have been together for almost 10 years once we finally tie the knot.

JodiPaul

I would liked to have been married by 26-27 but unfortunately I was with the wrong guy then and thankfully I did not marry him when I wanted to. At 36, I am now finally marrying the man I was meant to be with for the rest of my life. 

I do feel as though I am getting a late start on life and wasted a lot of good years with the wrong person. I wish me and my fiance had been ready to find each other sooner.

I grew up with parents who were older and know how crappy it can be to have parents who are too old to take the vacations and day trips and play outside and run around but they are my parents and I would not change them for the world. I can only hope my kids will think the same of me.