They were discussing this on the radio...

MarriedInAFever

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_were-discussing-this-radio?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:c895139b-731a-44ea-a32f-00600524f4dcPost:a32edecb-b8fb-40ac-9199-e3ac3a9fdb1d">Re: They were discussing this on the radio...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: They were discussing this on the radio... : Yeah, I can see that. That kind of stress would definitely lead to other problems within the relationship. We aren't at that point, thankfully, though my family was when I was a baby. My mom would go hungry to feed me. That's probably why I'm more sensitive to people (anyone, not necessarily on here) judging me or my relationship for how much we make. I'm actually proud of my paycheck (I know, it's kind pathetic), and while it would be nice to earn more, I'm just thankful we can pay the bills.
Posted by Seshat411[/QUOTE]

I can completely relate. When I pay the bills now, I feel accomplished and proud because there was a time when I couldn't.

jemmini6

I would absolutely marry him without a ring.  Just because someone isn't able to afford a ton of money at the beginning of their marriage doesn't meant that's how your whole relationship would be.  I would actually be less inclined to marry someone who spent money they didn't have just to buy a ring, then someone who was responsible enough to wait until they could afford one.

I Want Cake

I hate to say it, but I wouldn't have gotten engaged to FI without a ring.  We've been together over 5 years and we've known for the last few years we were going to get married, but after all the waiting and watching him pay his ex-wife alimony and their old marriage detbs, I wanted something for me.  I love him to death and always will, but I also believe I deserve every dime he spent on my ring.  It's not gigantic or anything, and not more than he could afford, but it really is quite lovely and unique (I picked the setting, he chose the diamond).

ricksang

To be honest no. My H (then Fi) asked me to quit my former job when he gave me my ring. With me quttting, I was losing a lot of money that went towards my education. It was money that I could not make doing something else. So, the deal was I go to school full time, he takes care of me until I am done. So, if he could not afford a ring he def could not afford my education and everything else.

I also won't date someone who is broke and struggling. I need to be with someone who is driven and successful. Date someone without a car, house, their own crap, no thanks.

That being said, if my H were to go broke now, of course I would stay with him.

shellydiane820

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_were-discussing-this-radio?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:c895139b-731a-44ea-a32f-00600524f4dcPost:a01a0e01-d84f-414f-a0ef-5388401bff10">Re: They were discussing this on the radio...</a>:
[QUOTE]To be honest no. My H (then Fi) asked me to quit my former job when he gave me my ring. With me quttting, I was losing a lot of money that went towards my education. It was money that I could not make doing something else. So, the deal was I go to school full time, he takes care of me until I am done. So, if he could not afford a ring he def could not afford my education and everything else. I also won't date someone who is broke and struggling. I need to be with someone who is driven and successful. Date someone without a car, house, their own crap, no thanks. That being said, if my H were to go broke now, of course I would stay with him.
Posted by ricksang[/QUOTE]

Ang said it best.

I wouldn't get engaged without a ring.  It doesn't have to be fancy or have sparkles, it can be a plain band.  If he can't afford that, then I would question if we're ready to be married, financially.

ricksang

Glad you agree Shelly!