Stupid Wedding Industry

Starmusica

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_stupid-wedding-industry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:cb3fb195-3e64-4583-964c-87b2b32208bfPost:f31b6815-7a66-4826-b043-94c61cd8b3f7">Re: Stupid Wedding Industry</a>:
[QUOTE]Yay Anna's dad :) I too don't understand the sexualized bachelor/bachelorette parties. Mainly the attitude of the "last fling" before the wedding. I'm sorry but I don't feel like I needed a fling before the wedding, and if I did I would wonder if I should be getting married in the first place. Part of my decision to get married was because I was done with dating and flinging. Also how people get up in arms when ladies get hurt/uncomfortable by their FI's going to a strip club for their bachelorette. If he felt it was cheating/wrong to go to a strip club during their dating, or during the marriage, then why is it acceptable/encouraged the last night before the wedding? It's not like he's not in a committed relationship anymore.
Posted by katiewhompus[/QUOTE]

AGREED. I was against the stripper idea and my FH agreed. NONE of our friends seemed to get it though! I kept getting hassled that I was "ruining it for him" and "boys will be boys". Hes never been to a strip club and didnt want to go. I was really upset that everyone treated me like crap thinking I forbid him or some nonesense. It's a disgusting tradition. I think if he had needed to see some naked woman to lament marrying me.. he shouldnt bother.

misscarolb

I second, 3rd and millionth the guest book thing. I also dislike all the things people think you're supposed to have (otherwise -what- it's not a wedding?) like bouquet/garter toss, terrible toasts, ugly toasting flutes, invitations that might as well be a magazine, 'giving the bride away', giant fancy wedding cakes, a huge wedding party, something blue/borrowed/old/new etc etc etc. I could go on

AllAboutTheBenjamin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_stupid-wedding-industry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:cb3fb195-3e64-4583-964c-87b2b32208bfPost:f31b6815-7a66-4826-b043-94c61cd8b3f7">Re: Stupid Wedding Industry</a>:
[QUOTE]Yay Anna's dad :) I too don't understand the sexualized bachelor/bachelorette parties. Mainly the attitude of the "last fling" before the wedding. I'm sorry but I don't feel like I needed a fling before the wedding, and if I did I would wonder if I should be getting married in the first place. Part of my decision to get married was because I was done with dating and flinging. Also how people get up in arms when ladies get hurt/uncomfortable by their FI's going to a strip club for their bachelorette. If he felt it was cheating/wrong to go to a strip club during their dating, or during the marriage, then why is it acceptable/encouraged the last night before the wedding? It's not like he's not in a committed relationship anymore.
Posted by katiewhompus[/QUOTE]

I don't get why the parties are so sexualized either.

There will be NO penises at my bachelorette party - I think it could be fun for some girls, but I just don't want it.  One my my bridesmaids - who is one of my sisters - is 15.  It's just not appropriate.

My fiance is going to Vegas for his bach party and I've had a couple of my girlfriends just outright gasp at it and ask me if I'm going to require that he doesn't go to any strip clubs.  ???  I don't think he'd want to go anyway, but I certainly am not going to tell him what he can and can't do.  Actually the only thing I did tell him was that they can do whatever they want as long as no one dies or gets arrested - but then again I don't think that's asking too much.

anna.oskar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_stupid-wedding-industry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:cb3fb195-3e64-4583-964c-87b2b32208bfPost:3c0ffd59-0bdf-4e8c-b6c4-8bbc7c6f9ca1">Re: Stupid Wedding Industry</a>:
[QUOTE]I also dislike all the things people think you're supposed to have (otherwise -what- it's not a wedding?)....... giant fancy wedding cakes ;)
Posted by misscarolb[/QUOTE]


Not gonna lie, sometimes I go to weddings just because I have a cake problem.   I could eat good cake at every meal.  Make it pretty, and I'll dream about it for weeks. 

It makes me sad when there is crappy cake at a wedding because it's usually because the B & G don't even like cake and people convinced them they had to have a cake to have a valid marriage.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_stupid-wedding-industry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:cb3fb195-3e64-4583-964c-87b2b32208bfPost:4d855c95-3a91-45d9-b5c3-1a2f4243805d">Re: Stupid Wedding Industry</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Stupid Wedding Industry : We did something similar and it was a big hit.  After the wedding, I took a picture of each message and then had them added to our photo book.  Best Wedding advice we received:  "Never pet a burning dog." Sage advice from one of his frat brothers.  Good for a laugh between the "never go to bed angry" and "love like it's your last moment on earth".
Posted by anna.oskar[/QUOTE]

We didn't get a lot of advice, but one of the kids put "Love XXX, your best friend ever" and my cousin, 5, wrote "I'm happy for you. can I have the shells on your cake?"

We got a kick out of the kids' messages for sure.

LedZeppelin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_stupid-wedding-industry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:cb3fb195-3e64-4583-964c-87b2b32208bfPost:f31b6815-7a66-4826-b043-94c61cd8b3f7">Re: Stupid Wedding Industry</a>:
[QUOTE]Yay Anna's dad :) I too don't understand the sexualized bachelor/bachelorette parties. Mainly the attitude of the "last fling" before the wedding. I'm sorry but I don't feel like I needed a fling before the wedding, and if I did I would wonder if I should be getting married in the first place. Part of my decision to get married was because I was done with dating and flinging. Also how people get up in arms when ladies get hurt/uncomfortable by their FI's going to a strip club for their bachelorette. If he felt it was cheating/wrong to go to a strip club during their dating, or during the marriage, then why is it acceptable/encouraged the last night before the wedding? It's not like he's not in a committed relationship anymore.
Posted by katiewhompus[/QUOTE]

I agree 100%

katiewhompus

Oh, and I asked a couple of vendors about the whole "wedding cake vs birthday cake" type thing. According to them the reason why their companies charge more for weddings is because the people generally make demands and it's "emotional compensation" (note they said this while laughing). Basically if you are throwing a birthday party/graduation party you won't be calling the DJ every hour to double check everything, while most brides do.

MissDuke2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_stupid-wedding-industry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:cb3fb195-3e64-4583-964c-87b2b32208bfPost:f31b6815-7a66-4826-b043-94c61cd8b3f7">Re: Stupid Wedding Industry</a>:
[QUOTE]Yay Anna's dad :) I too don't understand the sexualized bachelor/bachelorette parties. Mainly the attitude of the "last fling" before the wedding. I'm sorry but I don't feel like I needed a fling before the wedding, and if I did I would wonder if I should be getting married in the first place. Part of my decision to get married was because I was done with dating and flinging. Also how people get up in arms when ladies get hurt/uncomfortable by their FI's going to a strip club for their bachelorette. If he felt it was cheating/wrong to go to a strip club during their dating, or during the marriage, then why is it acceptable/encouraged the last night before the wedding? It's not like he's not in a committed relationship anymore.
Posted by katiewhompus[/QUOTE]

I personally think that strip clubs are disgusting. As soon as we were engaged all of FI's friends started talking about party, party, party, stripper, stripper, party. Excuse me but no. He's getting married. He's not turning 21. If he wants to see a stripper I'll gladly strip for him in the bedroom. But I better be the only girl he sees undressing.

crys-crys

Well I hate that everyone turns to me for answers. FI is the one who wanted the wedding but because I am female, I am the one who gets asked all the questions. When our hall gave our number to their "recommended vendors" I was the one who got all the calls. His phone stayed silent. Grrr. Now I avoid calls from a certain area code because I know it's a vendor that I am not going to use anyway.

maratea

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_stupid-wedding-industry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:cb3fb195-3e64-4583-964c-87b2b32208bfPost:bda93b9b-b57a-4076-92b4-d20e91ebb2f0">Re: Stupid Wedding Industry</a>:
[QUOTE]Uh, I just got off the phone with the florist. $270 for a bunch of flowers that I'll carry for 3 minutes and will be dead the next day. Nah, I'm good. She asked me to send her pics of stuff I liked for bouquets. I didn't realize I picked the most expensive flowers known to man, apparently. Back to the drawing board on that one.
Posted by laurenclaire1386[/QUOTE]

If you're into DIY with flowers, fiftyflowers.com is great. I got enough flowers to do my bouquet, MOH bouquet, flowers at the church, 6 corsages, 7 bouts and all of our centerpieces (20 tables) for $200.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

Anna, IIRC your dad did walk you down the aisle? I remember seeing a picture of him at your wedding!

For our guest book, we're getting 750 ml bottles of our favorite beer (wine bottle sized) and having guests sign them. Cause that way we get to drink the beer, so it's useful.

I hate sand ceremonies, unity candles, making the FOB and FOG match the groomsmen, matching jewelry on BMs, tosses, photobooths, candy buffets, monograms, aisle runners, GOBOS.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

See, I'm on the other side of the stripper thing. FI has been to strip clubs before. He hasn't gone while we've been dating, but I wouldn't mind if he went with friends, or even if we went together. So for his b-party, he can do anything he wants. I suggested it for his b-party, actually, and he made a face! I guess he... doesn't want to anymore? Eh, whatever. I'm totally with you, Kristi, on the "last night of freedom" thing. FI and I have been together for 3 years. But I don't consider going to a strip club cheating or doing anything wrong.

Lauren - flowers are ridiculous. I knew I wantd roses and mini calla lillies, so I was going to get screwed. Some girls on my local have paid anywhere from $1500-$4000 for FLOWERS. I only wanted personal flowers (bouquets, bouts, corsages) and was thinking like $500 tops.

As it turns out, a woman just started at FI's company and came over to him and said, "I heard you're getting married!" Her husband's best friend is a florist. We met with her last weekend and she 1) didn't charge a travel fee to meet with us because we were "friends with Colleen" and 2) asked me if I had a price point in mind and I should be honest because we're "friends with Colleen" so she'd try to work with it. THANK GOD. Also, FI wants to send his sister to pick up the flowers on the day of (it's a good 60+ miles from our reception location) so we don't have to pay to have them delivered.

If I hadn't been able to find flowers for what I wanted to pay, I seriously would have ordered them from Whole Foods. Or even a flower wholesaler. And done them myself.

aprovencher21

I love guest books mianly because (at least in my area) people sign them not just with their names but with heartfelt messages.  I agree if people are merely signing their names that's silly.  Ours is a photo book so I'm hoping for some nice messages.

I think a monograms can be classy and then when taken to the extreme icky.  I'm using a K throughout our wedding in different areas to symbolize our new family name.  I like it.  I also like GOBOs when nicely done   I enjoy over the top cakes cause I'm addicted to all of the cake shows on TV. 

I do find the garter toss to be uncomfortable and I find the bouquet toss can sometimes be insulting.  That's why we are doing neither.  I'm not a fan of chair covers.  They usually end up a mess by the end of the night and people trip on them. 

laurenclaire1386

Oh.my.gawd. I just talked to the flower lady for an hour. I did, however, find a bouquet for a decent price. Lemme AW cause I think it's gooooooorgeous.


But for the most part, I'm blown freaking away by how much we're gonna pay for flowers. But, it's one of the things that I'm kind of adamant about, so it's worth it to me.

aprovencher21

On the stripper side of things....I really don't care what FI and his boys do.  He and I have gone to strip joints together and also apart.  I think they can be funny and I don't take them seriously.  For his bachelor party my one restriction was no private strippers in a hotel room.  Not because I don't trust him but it gets legally murky and more dangerous to move from the strip joint to a private party.  FI and all his friends agree.  The only other things I asked was to not have to go to the hospital or jail to get anyone!  I like the idea of an outrageous party to celebrate the upcoming marriage with friends.  I'm preparing myself in advance for all of the X rated "gifts" my friends have in store.  I'm laid back and typically just laugh and drink.

aprovencher21

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_stupid-wedding-industry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:cb3fb195-3e64-4583-964c-87b2b32208bfPost:c2fc1742-dd1a-4202-b31b-4f6255a5fa4c">Re: Stupid Wedding Industry</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh.my.gawd. I just talked to the flower lady for an hour. I did, however, find a bouquet for a decent price. Lemme AW cause I think it's gooooooorgeous. But for the most part, I'm blown freaking away by how much we're gonna pay for flowers. But, it's one of the things that I'm kind of adamant about, so it's worth it to me.
Posted by laurenclaire1386[/QUOTE]

I really like that bouquet.....good choice.

katiewhompus

I want that bouquet...omg that is gorgeous LC.

Mery, that's the weird thing. I can see if it's something he does regularly with his buddies or has done before, or if you are willing to go with. Then it's just entertainment, although still entertainment I kind of give side eyes to for guys who have women at home. Scott used to go to them when he was in the Marines because it's what all his buddies did and it was their version of hanging out.
I just don't get if a guy has never gone, or always felt like it was wrong to go when in a relationship but is all "Oh it's my bachelor party so I get a free pass to go to the strip club." That's when I'm kind of...um...are you sure you want to be committed to one person the rest of your life?

quotequeen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_stupid-wedding-industry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:cb3fb195-3e64-4583-964c-87b2b32208bfPost:a52b156e-5344-48fe-a777-a260fce30899">Re: Stupid Wedding Industry</a>:
[QUOTE]Well I hate that everyone turns to me for answers. FI is the one who wanted the wedding but because I am female, I am the one who gets asked all the questions. When our hall gave our number to their "recommended vendors" I was the one who got all the calls. His phone stayed silent. Grrr. Now I avoid calls from a certain area code because I know it's a vendor that I am not going to use anyway.
Posted by martianwax[/QUOTE]

I hate that Men's Warehouse has called me about 5 times in the past couple of weeks (usually while I'm at work).  Tuxes = not my responsibility.

I don't understand destination bach parties.  Does not compute.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

Oh, yeah, I get that. I think an 18th or 21st birthday is a much mroe appropriate "first strip club experience" kind of event than a bachelor party. I usually side-eye girls that come on here and cry about their FI going to a strip club, but if it's totally out of character I can see how they might be unnerved.

AllAboutTheBenjamin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_stupid-wedding-industry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:cb3fb195-3e64-4583-964c-87b2b32208bfPost:4303fa0a-4409-47f9-9a4c-73d1a2c88a2c">Re: Stupid Wedding Industry</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Stupid Wedding Industry : I hate that Men's Warehouse has called me about 5 times in the past couple of weeks (usually while I'm at work).  Tuxes = not my responsibility.
Posted by quotequeen[/QUOTE]


If I get one more phone call from them I will punt a baby.  I've already told them we are getting our tuxes somewhere else.  Damn David's Bridal and how they seem to give out my info to every wedding company in the world...

stacy&tige

I hate garter/bouquets tosses...I always felt they were a little insulting when I was single.

Any kind of group dance irritates the sh*t out of me...no bridal party dance, no chicken dance, no money dance, no electric slide, etc. In my music requests for the DJ I put no to all these things in bold letters and highlighter, just to get my point across.

I don't like toasts where the only people who understand them are the bride and groom (yes you have inside jokes with your MOH and BM, but no one else at the reception cares!)

Any favor that isn't edible is totally useless IMHO...and they better be good!

Guestbooks...boring! We are doing a photo with a mat for signatures...got a spot picked in our house already.


I hate courtesy invites...I always feel like these people know you are only inviting them out of obligation. I've invited a few people I really didn't want too and probably won't spend more than a minute saying hi to them at the wedding. Oh well.

I don't mind the strip club thing...my FI used to go with his friends, but not since we've been together. The only thing I told him was that he is not allowed to have strippers come to him (in the hotel). I've booked strippers for friends before, so I know what they do at private parties....ummmmm hell no!

Sapphire1002

Ditto to the garter, tosses and the "last fling" bachelor/bachelorette parties.. grow up!

ARod22

Maybe I was being too snarky, because TheKnot encountered an "unexpected error" when I tried to post my long message.  So, I'll abbreviate:

-Using another culture or religion's customs in your ceremony just because you think it's beautiful. These traditions are beautiful because they define the identity of a people, not because the whole world uses them as a novelty.  I.e. breaking a glass at a non-Jewish wedding, bagpipe music at a non-Scottish wedding, Native American poetry at a non-NA wedding, etc.

I, too, hate monograms and frilly guest books.

Fondant wedding cakes.  So expensive, not even tasty, and is only necessary if you want truly elaborate cake design... which is so wasteful considering it's just a cake.

lovetothinkpink

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_stupid-wedding-industry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:cb3fb195-3e64-4583-964c-87b2b32208bfPost:c7948369-99b3-4164-b162-21cdfaf71d23">Re: Stupid Wedding Industry</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't like either of the tosses, but the removing of the garter always creeps me out.
Posted by LedZeppelin[/QUOTE]
ditto.I honestly think it would be less awkward for me to pour a bottle of whiskey over the thing and light it on fire.

anna.oskar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_stupid-wedding-industry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:cb3fb195-3e64-4583-964c-87b2b32208bfPost:02fa297a-1ace-450a-8de8-f4d39ebac4d7">Re: Stupid Wedding Industry</a>:
[QUOTE]Anna, IIRC your dad did walk you down the aisle? I remember seeing a picture of him at your wedding!
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]


He did end up walking me.  He used a cane, barely made it down the aisle, and even mustered up the strength to do a minute of a daddy-daughter dance with me.


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[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_stupid-wedding-industry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:cb3fb195-3e64-4583-964c-87b2b32208bfPost:13c89813-f048-4e14-8be4-165fc1e3b607">Re: Stupid Wedding Industry</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Stupid Wedding Industry : ditto.I honestly think it would be less awkward for me to pour a bottle of whiskey over the thing and light it on fire.
Posted by lovetothinkpink[/QUOTE]

Ha! I'm a huge fan of lighting things on fire.

LedZeppelin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_stupid-wedding-industry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:cb3fb195-3e64-4583-964c-87b2b32208bfPost:13c89813-f048-4e14-8be4-165fc1e3b607">Re: Stupid Wedding Industry</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Stupid Wedding Industry : ditto.I honestly think it would be less awkward for me to pour a bottle of whiskey over the thing and light it on fire.
Posted by lovetothinkpink[/QUOTE]

I just might do that.

aprovencher21

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_stupid-wedding-industry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:cb3fb195-3e64-4583-964c-87b2b32208bfPost:37e8af59-80d8-41e9-b03c-0813e4596273">Re: Stupid Wedding Industry</a>:
[QUOTE]Maybe I was being too snarky, because TheKnot encountered an "unexpected error" when I tried to post my long message.  So, I'll abbreviate: -Using another culture or religion's customs in your ceremony just because you think it's beautiful. These traditions are beautiful because they define the identity of a people, not because the whole world uses them as a novelty.  I.e. breaking a glass at a non-Jewish wedding, bagpipe music at a non-Scottish wedding, Native American poetry at a non-NA wedding, etc. I, too, hate monograms and frilly guest books. Fondant wedding cakes.  <font color="#0000ff">So expensive, not even tasty, and is only necessary if you want truly elaborate cake design... which is so wasteful considering it's just a cake.
</font>Posted by ARod22[/QUOTE]

Oh goodie I was waiting for someone to be rude enough to judge how other people spend their money. 

anna.oskar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_stupid-wedding-industry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:cb3fb195-3e64-4583-964c-87b2b32208bfPost:37e8af59-80d8-41e9-b03c-0813e4596273">Re: Stupid Wedding Industry</a>:
[QUOTE]M Fondant wedding cakes.  So expensive, not even tasty, and is only necessary if you want truly elaborate cake design... which is so wasteful considering it's just a cake.
Posted by ARod22[/QUOTE]


Mine was the tastiest cake I have ever had the pleasure to consume.  No wasteful at all since I can be transported back to my wedding day not only by images, texture, and sounds, but also by a smell and a taste.  For the rest of my life I will associate that flavor and smell with a completely happy day in my life. And I think it was pretty too.


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And fondant can be tasty if it's done right.  Only poor quality fondant tastes like play-doh.

MeaghanandMichael

Favors are ridiculous. Giving jewelry to your bms is ridiculous, well mostly if it matches your wedding. Theknot.com is ridiculous and cheap. Over done themed card boxes are ridiculous unless you DIY for fun. Cameras on the table are the worst idea ever.  Skimping on your guests because you think a grand tour of fiji is the only right way to hm is ridiculous.

Assuming etiquette is made up by the wedding industry is the most ridiculous.