My Valentine's Day sucked...

scrpio421

So  my FI figured we weren't celebrating Valentine's Day. Why? I HAVE NO IDEA! I NEVER said anything close to this to him, nor would I ever say we are skipping it. Who does that? Now that we are engaged I don't need romance or a even card? Money is not that tight, not to mention this weekend he made a special trip to get his sister a card and present and dropped it off at her house.

I got him a card with a really nice note and then a trip to for us both swim with the dolphins on our Honeymoon. Creative and fun right? I didn't even get a homemade card.

maratea

Valentine's day is stupid. It's a made-up holiday. Maybe your FI didn't want to be cliche and doing something on Vday.

Also I'm going to be that person that one-ups you. My Valentine's day for the last 6 years has kind of sucked. Why? My cousin died on Valentine's day 6 years ago. Kind of puts a damper on all that 'happiness'.

LetsHikeToday

Uh, we skipped it

emarston1

Did you guys discuss what you had planned to do before hand?  Or had you just assumed he would be getting you something?

Our priest gave us one of the best pieces of relationship advice I've ever received.  He said, "Express your expectations explicitly.  Do not set the other person up to fail."  If you didn't communicate what you wanted, you were setting him up to fail.  Does it take some of the romance out of it?  Absolutely.  But I guarantee you if you would have talked about it, it still would have been better than not getting anything.

arwo

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_my-valentines-day-sucked?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:f4210afa-5faf-40e8-8944-e11a37f36ae6Post:1394a979-1933-4702-8ba3-3ebe07f1fc9a">Re: My Valentine's Day sucked...</a>:
[QUOTE]Uh, we skipped it
Posted by LetsHikeToday[/QUOTE]

We did too.

I will say that we decided before-hand that we wouldn't do anything. We like to do that whole "communication" thing.

[Deleted User]

I'd be disappointed if my H didn't do anything for me for Vday.

Blueyed228

We said no gifts either.

H made me a card.  It was really cute, lol.

chelseamb11

OP that really stinks.. I'd be disappointed too, especially if you guys didn't discuss to forego it this year.  Did he say anything about it?  Have you told him that you're upset about it? 

[Deleted User]

My H got me this kind of strange tiny rose-ish plant. The card said "I stole this from an old man".

J&K10910

I'd be disappointed too...but did you SAY you wanted to do something?  I mean, if you didn't mention it all, maybe he figured you didn't have any plans.

It does sort of suck that he didn't do anything on his own, but I look at things like that this way "I could be a little irritated that I have to ask for it, or a lot angry when it doesn't happen at all."

angelsong21

We skipped V-Day as well.  We just don't get the point.  At all.

J&K10910

I guess I don't get the point of all the posts saying you guys skipped Valentine's Day.  Good for you?

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_my-valentines-day-sucked?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:f4210afa-5faf-40e8-8944-e11a37f36ae6Post:60b3eff3-af3f-44e7-ad1b-37ff08dafdb8">Re: My Valentine's Day sucked...</a>:
[QUOTE]I guess I don't get the point of all the posts saying you guys skipped Valentine's Day.  Good for you?
Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]

I was just thinking this.

maratea

I don't understand why people make such a big deal of Vday. Why do people choose this one day to make extraordinary exclamations of love? (not a facetious question, I really do want to know)

JennaV26

I made our dinner reservations for Valentine's Day. I realized a long time ago that I have a lot of high expectations and often that means being explicitly forward with DH or just doing things myself. Dinner was still super romantic, even though I was the one that planned it!

J&K10910

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_my-valentines-day-sucked?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:f4210afa-5faf-40e8-8944-e11a37f36ae6Post:192f6ad9-2d20-4227-9e71-2b4c8b3e30cc">Re: My Valentine's Day sucked...</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't understand why people make such a big deal of Vday. Why do people choose this one day to make extraordinary exclamations of love? (not a facetious question, I really do want to know)
Posted by maratea[/QUOTE]

I don't really get it either, and I've never been big on celebrating, but some people like to and I get that.  It's just an excuse to do nice things for each other.  Sure you could do it ANY day, but whatever.

Blueyed228

If H and I had not discussed only doing cards, I would have been pissed if he didnt do something.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_my-valentines-day-sucked?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:f4210afa-5faf-40e8-8944-e11a37f36ae6Post:192f6ad9-2d20-4227-9e71-2b4c8b3e30cc">Re: My Valentine's Day sucked...</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't understand why people make such a big deal of Vday. Why do people choose this one day to make extraordinary exclamations of love? (not a facetious question, I really do want to know)
Posted by maratea[/QUOTE]

I don't really get it either, but I'm also not going to make someone feel like a complete turd for wanting to get a valentine.

JennaV26

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_my-valentines-day-sucked?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:f4210afa-5faf-40e8-8944-e11a37f36ae6Post:bbd7e186-34eb-4475-a951-65c47da5f219">Re: My Valentine's Day sucked...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: My Valentine's Day sucked... : I don't really get it either, and I've never been big on celebrating, but some people like to and I get that. <strong> </strong>It's just an excuse to do nice things for each other.<strong>  </strong>Sure you could do it ANY day, but whatever.
Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]

<div>In my family Valentine's Day was always a day to celebrate love in general, not just husband and wife, boyfriend and girlfriend kind of love. I'm also a person who makes a big deal out of every holiday, birthday and anniversary and I like having the excuse to do romantic things with my husband on a more-than-everyday level. I even made Valentine's Day cookies for the office and took candy Valentine's to everyone at work. That kind of stuff is fun for me.</div><div>
</div><div> </div>

maratea

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_my-valentines-day-sucked?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:f4210afa-5faf-40e8-8944-e11a37f36ae6Post:6efe1184-f287-4ab6-8c56-3f61a822f898">Re: My Valentine's Day sucked...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: My Valentine's Day sucked... : I don't really get it either, but I'm also not going to make someone feel like a complete turd for wanting to get a valentine.
Posted by cew515[/QUOTE]
This makes sense. I am fully aware I am biased and a cynical jerk given what has happened in the past on Vday for me.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_my-valentines-day-sucked?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:f4210afa-5faf-40e8-8944-e11a37f36ae6Post:90d18d3d-e866-4fe7-be7a-e79519fabfd5">Re: My Valentine's Day sucked...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: My Valentine's Day sucked... : This makes sense. I am fully aware I am biased and a cynical jerk given what has happened in the past on Vday for me.
Posted by maratea[/QUOTE]

Well, I'm sorry that happend. I imagine it makes the day sour. Is it horrible, though, that I wanted to post a picture of Debbie Downer after I read your post? I'm an awful person, I know.

maratea

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_my-valentines-day-sucked?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:f4210afa-5faf-40e8-8944-e11a37f36ae6Post:01f0c59b-8fc7-4851-abca-b296b6cd0845">Re: My Valentine's Day sucked...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: My Valentine's Day sucked... : Well, I'm sorry that happend. I imagine it makes the day sour. Is it horrible, though, that I wanted to post a picture of Debbie Downer after I read your post? I'm an awful person, I know.
Posted by cew515[/QUOTE]
Haha, no. It is totally Debbie Downer. I kind of thought the same thing myself.

polichik

Yeah, I would also be upset if DH didn't do anything. A few years ago, he basically forgot, and I was upset. We do nice things for each other regardless of the holiday, obviously, but he knew I'm big on all holidays, and I was bummed out. Now he knows that all I want is some Godiva and a card. If he had skipped it, I would be sad. I think the OP has a right to be.

lindseyann410

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_my-valentines-day-sucked?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:f4210afa-5faf-40e8-8944-e11a37f36ae6Post:192f6ad9-2d20-4227-9e71-2b4c8b3e30cc">Re: My Valentine's Day sucked...</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't understand why people make such a big deal of Vday. Why do people choose this one day to make extraordinary exclamations of love? (not a facetious question, I really do want to know)
Posted by maratea[/QUOTE]

<div>I know it's a Hallmark holiday, but I find it akin to Mother's Day or even Veteren's Day.  It's a reason to show people how much you care about them.  Yes, you can do that any day/every day, but some people aren't good at that, and this made-up, tending-to-be-cliche holiday can help them with that.</div><div>
</div><div>That being said, I appreciate being remembered on V-day, even if it is just a card.  The most special Valentine's Day present I've ever gotten was when FI was unemployed and he wrote me a beautiful sonnet.  I was impressed, and It made me feel loved.</div>

Blueyed228

I dont like to make a huge deal out of Valentines day, but only because my birthday is exaclty 2 weeks later, and I want that to be the big deal. 

arwo

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_my-valentines-day-sucked?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:f4210afa-5faf-40e8-8944-e11a37f36ae6Post:60b3eff3-af3f-44e7-ad1b-37ff08dafdb8">Re: My Valentine's Day sucked...</a>:
[QUOTE]I guess I don't get the point of all the posts saying you guys skipped Valentine's Day.  <strong>Good for you?</strong>
Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]

Yes, obviously. It's why I know I am better than everyone else.

Actually (and I don't know about anyone else) my main point was that we talked about it before-hand. My husband knew that I didn't expect him to get anything for me. I knew that he didn't expect anything from me. Thus there were no hurt feelings because we communicated.

SEWF

We always skip it. H mentioned that he had thought about getting me flowers, but he remembered that I didn't want flowers for the wedding, so I must never want them. Uh, no, just that I didn't want to buy a ton of flowers to see for one day when there were other decorating options. Then today he asked what my favorite flowers are, so I suspect I'll be getting some soon.

JennaV26

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_my-valentines-day-sucked?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:f4210afa-5faf-40e8-8944-e11a37f36ae6Post:a738db81-3f00-4229-87fe-cfc664dadf52">Re: My Valentine's Day sucked...</a>:
[QUOTE]I dont like to make a huge deal out of Valentines day, but only because my birthday is exaclty 2 weeks later, and I want that to be the big deal. 
Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]

<div>Mine is a little over two weeks later too! But I like to make a big deal of both :)</div>

NuggetBrain

We started dating on Valentine's Day 11 years ago, so yeah.  V-Day is a big deal in our house.  Up until our wedding day it was our anniversary.

Bkseller13

H was sick and never left the house on V day so while I got him a card and gift, he didn't get anything.  He felt terrible.  I had to tell him that I wasn't hurt, even though I was.  I bought his card a month beforehand.  But, I also know he's a procrastinator (shops on Christmas Eve) so I wasn't really surprised.  We tell each other every day that we love each other.  He makes our bed every morning, I buy him beer when he's getting low.  We show our love every day, but V day is still pretty special. 

scrpio421

So about a month ago I mentioned we should do honeymoon trips for V-day (I got us a trip to swim with dolphins while we are out there).I was doubtful he would remember, but I didn't think that I needed to specify that he would do something, anything. I know Valentines is a Hallmark holiday, but I make big deals about most holidays. He says he should have known since I celebrate our birthdays all week long. I think it's just one day (yes you should do it everyday, but how many really do to that extent) specifically where you have an easy opportunity to make the other person feel loved and appreciated. I'm still waiting for him to make this up to me. Hopefully tonight since we had a big talk about how he effed this up. I was so hoping he would come home and grovel, chocolates and my favorite wine bottle in hand. Nope, nothing. Gave me the silent treatment instead.