to have or not to have a dinner?

brosters

its a saturday.... people can eat at 4 or 5, we are getting married in a very small town itll take 5 minutes to gget to the church. and expected to buy your own drinks??? its 2012 im pretty sure open bars are very rare these days. ive never been to an open bar wedding. its not the weirdest thing ever to have a cash bar? no one around my town has open bars. and taking so long to do pictures?? the weddings over at 630 by the time we get out and to the farm and everyone organized itll be 7. that leaves only an hr to do pictures. then dance at 8. itll be just like their going to a dance. if we have an afternoon wedding its still the same thing cause ill still have to feed them, theyd be around longer if i had an afternoon wedding. and we want it at night so we can have a dance and drink. they willl ahve to wait an hr for food once the dance starts.  

jessicabessica

I don't think cash bars are polite or the proper way to host guests, but I would not leave because of it.  I would leave because I would be too hungry to stay and enjoy myself.  Like I already suggested, push your wedding back a few hours.

Viczaesar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_food-cakes_to-have-or-not-to-have-a-dinner?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:23Discussion:7c18fa78-8f1e-451b-8dd7-8b24944bb1e1Post:e686cb1e-ee44-4cbd-852b-4a857ffb1885">Re: to have or not to have a dinner?</a>:
[QUOTE]well this is not "mud" or whatever you guys call it. I dont have time  to make things up and sit on the computer as many of you likely do...<strong> this is really what im going through and i am actually having trouble figuring out what to do</strong>. Thanks for the input and im glad your not all coming to my wedding! My guests will understand if thats what we have to do. Thanks for your input. ill be sure to fill you when when my wedding comes around
Posted by brosters[/QUOTE]
It's really not that hard to figure it out.

lpowers1118

As many ladies have said before; assuming this isn't MUD this is my response.
Brosters, you said you want to do the wedding cheap and from what you want, "just getting drunk with your family and friends."  Maybe you should get married at the JotP early in the morning.   Take your time with your day, go take pictures or whatever it is your need to do and then have your kegger in someone's backyard or a hall.  If your guests don't seem to care that much, as you say, about the food, has them to bring pot luck dishes instead of a gift/check.   That way, the people who you love and care about and want to be there supporting your on this day can be there and be fed while drinking all the booze you have to have. 

Viczaesar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_food-cakes_to-have-or-not-to-have-a-dinner?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:23Discussion:7c18fa78-8f1e-451b-8dd7-8b24944bb1e1Post:2d6bee5d-22cc-45ef-b633-c80f2add50ad">Re: to have or not to have a dinner?</a>:
[QUOTE]and ps.. people arent going to be expecting food because on the invite it will say dance to start at 8. no where in there wil it say dinner. and im hoping when my in laws find out theres no dinner they will help pay for it if they want it
Posted by brosters[/QUOTE]
Most reception invitations don't say "Dinner to follow."  Only dumb people use this logic.  You know what smart people who don't want to be shitty hosts do?  They decide what to serve based on the time of their reception (e.g. if you're having it during dinner hour, which is anything that happens between 6-8 pm).  If their budget is limited, they figure out what they can afford to host for their desired guest list and then set the ceremony and reception time around that.  If you can only afford to host light appetizers, you have to have the reception at a non-meal time.  If you can only afford to host cake and punch, you again have the reception at a non-meal time.  If you can't even afford cake and punch, you don't invite guests, because it's incredibly rude to invite someone and not host them at all.  If you have guests you need to host <strong>something</strong>.  If you can't host a full meal, then you don't get to have a wedding reception at a meal time.  Period, end of story.

LauraChristin

What will the 10 pm buffet consist of? This is confusing to me.

brosters

dancew starting at 8 is not meal time.

brosters

the buffet at 10 will be sandwhiches, salads, pastas, that stuff.

Viczaesar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_food-cakes_to-have-or-not-to-have-a-dinner?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:23Discussion:7c18fa78-8f1e-451b-8dd7-8b24944bb1e1Post:eb8fd844-ad39-45cd-85e6-9e2b0b60a0c9">Re: to have or not to have a dinner?</a>:
[QUOTE]dancew starting at 8 is not meal time.
Posted by brosters[/QUOTE]
Your ceremony starts at 6. 

vicki0508

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_food-cakes_to-have-or-not-to-have-a-dinner?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:23Discussion:7c18fa78-8f1e-451b-8dd7-8b24944bb1e1Post:b36f6e4d-51c2-49c3-9803-2ec4b03c00c7">Re: to have or not to have a dinner?</a>:
[QUOTE]its a saturday.... people can eat at 4 or 5, we are getting married in a very small town itll take 5 minutes to gget to the church. and expected to buy your own drinks??? its 2012 im pretty sure open bars are very rare these days. ive never been to an open bar wedding. its not the weirdest thing ever to have a cash bar? no one around my town has open bars. and taking so long to do pictures?? the weddings over at 630 by the time we get out and to the farm and everyone organized itll be 7. that leaves only an hr to do pictures. then dance at 8. itll be just like their going to a dance. if we have an afternoon wedding its still the same thing cause ill still have to feed them, theyd be around longer if i had an afternoon wedding. and we want it at night so we can have a dance and drink. they willl ahve to wait an hr for food once the dance starts.  
Posted by brosters[/QUOTE]
Why are you having dancing before eating?  That makes no sense.  You eat the buffet you have planned, then start your dancing afterwards.<div>
</div><div>Also, please use spell check, your posts are really difficult to read.</div>

brosters

yea and by the time its done itll be 630 by the time people go to the legion itll be 7 or 730 and then we enter at 8. three dances. then speeches then a little bit more danicng and then the buffet. im sure they wont starve to death. and they will all know we arent having a dinner before hand because we are only inviting people who mean alot to us which means we talk to them regularily and they will be in the loop. therefore they can out their big girl /boy pants on and get their own dinner. there is a tim hortons and resturant in the area so they will be fine. they will need to fill in time anyways as my guests will get to town early and need to chill . theyve already said they will be going to timmies. so thanks for your responses. apparently you girls take this wedding thing very seriously like its a business. rules are made to be broken and ive just broke the biggest wedding rule there is i assume. so my guests will not be getting a 5 star dinner with steak because we cannot afford it. they will be getting a good buffet at 1000 at night. its our wedding and its what we can afford. in 20 years no one will even remember that they "didnt have a traditional wedding dinner at my wedding" my family is not like that and they are just happy to be coming to see us finally get married aafter 7 years
soooo i shall fill you all in when the day comes of how many of my guests left because there was no food and i made them pay for their alcohol. having my family and a free bar would cost us 10.000 likely lol. and FYI everyone, im not "stupid" "immature" i am actually in the health care field and am very smart. and someone asked my age.... that doesnt matter. we are spending a very low cost on our wedding and our marriage will probably last longer than most of yours whose weddings are costing 10,000+ . at least we wont be in debt. Thanks ya'll

Chels&Jimmy

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_food-cakes_to-have-or-not-to-have-a-dinner?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:23Discussion:7c18fa78-8f1e-451b-8dd7-8b24944bb1e1Post:6d3c2a94-0227-4d29-b9a9-2c601b0b270a">Re: to have or not to have a dinner?</a>:
[QUOTE]the buffet at 10 will be sandwhiches, salads, pastas, that stuff.
Posted by brosters[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I just don't understand why you're so against serving this food earlier. Wouldn't it cost you the same amount whether you serve it at 7:00 p.m. or 10:00 p.m.? I'm baffled.

</div>

brosters

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_food-cakes_to-have-or-not-to-have-a-dinner?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:23Discussion:7c18fa78-8f1e-451b-8dd7-8b24944bb1e1Post:df20a84e-728e-4a59-b232-a250b521347f">Re: to have or not to have a dinner?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: to have or not to have a dinner? : I just don't understand why you're so against serving this food earlier. Wouldn't it cost you the same amount whether you serve it at 7:00 p.m. or 10:00 p.m.? I'm baffled.
Posted by Chels&Jimmy[/QUOTE]

yes it will but my wedding is at 6... till 630... pictures from then till 8.... 8 first dance, mother of groom dance. father of bride dance... speeches then we are eating... that will be 9 930...

Viczaesar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_food-cakes_to-have-or-not-to-have-a-dinner?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:23Discussion:7c18fa78-8f1e-451b-8dd7-8b24944bb1e1Post:9e5bfc54-72c2-4897-b42e-32b76226249d">Re: to have or not to have a dinner?</a>:
[QUOTE]yea and by the time its done itll be 630 by the time people go to the legion itll be 7 or 730 and then we enter at 8. three dances. then speeches then a little bit more danicng and then the buffet. im sure they wont starve to death. and they will all know we arent having a dinner before hand because we are only inviting people who mean alot to us which means we talk to them regularily and they will be in the loop. therefore they can out their big girl /boy pants on and get their own dinner. there is a tim hortons and resturant in the area so they will be fine. they will need to fill in time anyways as my guests will get to town early and need to chill . theyve already said they will be going to timmies. so thanks for your responses. apparently you girls take this wedding thing very seriously like its a business. rules are made to be broken and ive just broke the biggest wedding rule there is i assume. so my guests will not be getting a 5 star dinner with steak because we cannot afford it. they will be getting a good buffet at 1000 at night. its our wedding and its what we can afford. in 20 years no one will even remember that they "didnt have a traditional wedding dinner at my wedding" my family is not like that and they are just happy to be coming to see us finally get married aafter 7 years soooo i shall fill you all in when the day comes of how many of my guests left because there was no food and i made them pay for their alcohol. having my family and a free bar would cost us 10.000 likely lol. and FYI everyone, im not "stupid" "immature" i am actually in the health care field and am very smart. and someone asked my age.... that doesnt matter. we are spending a very low cost on our wedding and our marriage will probably last longer than most of yours whose weddings are costing 10,000+ . at least we wont be in debt. Thanks ya'll
Posted by brosters[/QUOTE]
You're a horrible host and your wedding will be talked about as "that shitty wedding we attended where they kept us from 6-11 pm and didn't bother to feed us until 10."  But only behind your back, of course.  Congratulatiuons, you win for dumbest idea of the week.

brosters

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_food-cakes_to-have-or-not-to-have-a-dinner?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:23Discussion:7c18fa78-8f1e-451b-8dd7-8b24944bb1e1Post:c417b67d-1a2d-414a-831a-6dfe35e2b5c6">Re: to have or not to have a dinner?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: to have or not to have a dinner? : You're a horrible host and your wedding will be talked about as "that shitty wedding we attended where they kept us from 6-11 pm and didn't bother to feed us until 10."  But only behind your back, of course.  Congratulatiuons, you win for dumbest idea of the week.
Posted by Viczaesar[/QUOTE]


whose wedding is over at 11pm?? mine will be done at 2am

NOLAbridealmost

OP, have you ever been to a wedding? Food usually comes out within the first hour.

Viczaesar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_food-cakes_to-have-or-not-to-have-a-dinner?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:23Discussion:7c18fa78-8f1e-451b-8dd7-8b24944bb1e1Post:3670ad30-dafa-4771-ab0d-1ac753dbafea">Re: to have or not to have a dinner?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: to have or not to have a dinner? : yes it will but my wedding is at 6... till 630... pictures from then till 8.... 8 first dance, mother of groom dance. father of bride dance... speeches then we are eating... that will be 9 930...
Posted by brosters[/QUOTE]
YOU HAVE TO HOST YOUR GUESTS.  What do you think people are going to do while you're spending an hour and a half doing pictures?  Seriously, of all the selfish, self-centered brides we see on TK, you're one of the top.  Congratulations.

Here's what your timeline SHOULD look like:

Pre-wedding pictures (if not first look, then at least all of the ones that can be done without the bride and groom seeing each other)
6 pm - ceremony
6:30-7:30 - cocktail hour WITH food (light appetizers, veggie trays, cheese & crackers, etc) and WITH whatever alcoholic and non-alcoholic beverages you can afford to host.  It doesn't have to be open bar, but you do need to host something to drink.  During this time is when you finish up your pictures.
7:30 - speeches and serve dinner
8:30/9: first dance/other dances

brosters

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_food-cakes_to-have-or-not-to-have-a-dinner?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:23Discussion:7c18fa78-8f1e-451b-8dd7-8b24944bb1e1Post:dc96730a-7055-4dbc-afa2-7c1215e2cdc4">Re: to have or not to have a dinner?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: to have or not to have a dinner? :   Pre-wedding pictures (if not first look, then at least all of the ones that can be done without the bride and groom seeing each other) 6 pm - ceremony 6:30-7:30 - cocktail hour WITH food (light appetizers, veggie trays, cheese & crackers, etc) and WITH whatever alcoholic and non-alcoholic beverages you can afford to host.  It doesn't have to be open bar, but you do need to host something to drink.  During this time is when you finish up your pictures. 7:30 - speeches and serve dinner 8:30/9: first dance/other dances
Posted by Viczaesar[/QUOTE]

uhm i never ever said that there would be ntohing for them to do when we were doing pics,  the reception hall will be open at 7 dj will be playing and bar will be open. and ive already said during that time there will be cheese and stuff out.. we just arent having a whole plated or buffet dinner. THIS IS MY SCHEDULE
6-cermeony
630- starting of pics and guests head out to the legion
7- legion is open and dj, bar and little foods there
8- we enter have the three dances
8.15 or 830 speeches
whenever speeches are over then its PARTY TIME!
1000 food will come out

thats it thats all

Viczaesar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_food-cakes_to-have-or-not-to-have-a-dinner?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:23Discussion:7c18fa78-8f1e-451b-8dd7-8b24944bb1e1Post:47931de7-8e2e-48cf-85f0-041f4d9c52fb">Re: to have or not to have a dinner?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: to have or not to have a dinner? : whose wedding is over at 11pm?? mine will be done at 2am
Posted by brosters[/QUOTE]
Like that matters in the slightest for this issue.  *headdesk*

Viczaesar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_food-cakes_to-have-or-not-to-have-a-dinner?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:23Discussion:7c18fa78-8f1e-451b-8dd7-8b24944bb1e1Post:2410f374-c0b4-4266-89d5-e21ca0855c71">Re: to have or not to have a dinner?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: to have or not to have a dinner? : uhm i never ever said that there would be ntohing for them to do when we were doing pics,  the reception hall will be open at 7 dj will be playing and bar will be open. and ive already said during that time there will be cheese and stuff out.. we just arent having a whole plated or buffet dinner. THIS IS MY SCHEDULE 6-cermeony 630- starting of pics and guests head out to the legion 7- legion is open and dj, bar and little foods there 8- we enter have the three dances 8.15 or 830 speeches whenever speeches are over then its PARTY TIME! 1000 food will come out thats it thats all
Posted by brosters[/QUOTE]
Oh, we know your schedule.  It sucks.

brosters

well lets all just be thankful no one has to come to my wedding.

melntaitt

What's in a late night dinner buffet and why can't it be served earlier?

I've seen some late night dinner snacks at some weddings with friends but those weddings lasted all night; but we had dinner. I'm thinking I'm just really confused by the post because either you don't understand how hungry people will be waiting for this snack or I don't understand where dinner went.

Either way, I hope it works out. I must say though that your friends and family will be a touch disappointed that they aren't fed.

RebeccaB88

There's nothing wrong with serving sandwiches and salads, as long as YOU SERVE THEM AT AN APPROPRIATE HOUR. 

I've never been to a wedding with a cash bar.  Dry wedding, sure. Plenty. But I've never had to provide my own anything at a wedding.

There's nothing more pathetic than a falling-down wasted bride. 

You're right, nobody HAS to go to your wedding.  But you do realize that, with your schedule, you are getting ready to spend a lot of money on a party that NO ONE IS GOING TO ATTEND.  You say you don't care if they leave to find food, but then you're going to have all this wasted food that you've paid for that no one will eat, because no one will stick around long enough to eat it.  You and your wedding party and your immediate families will be sitting around getting schnockered together.  Is that really what you want?

And yeah, we take this stuff seriously.  Marriage is serious. It's kind of a big deal.  Committing yourself to one person for the rest of your life and all.  Or are you not planning on doing that either?

jessicabessica

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_food-cakes_to-have-or-not-to-have-a-dinner?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:23Discussion:7c18fa78-8f1e-451b-8dd7-8b24944bb1e1Post:67e99f99-4c85-4151-91ac-8826dcf62afb">Re: to have or not to have a dinner?</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>What's in a late night dinner buffet and why can't it be served earlier? </strong>I've seen some late night dinner snacks at some weddings with friends but those weddings lasted all night; but we had dinner. I'm thinking I'm just really confused by the post because either you don't understand how hungry people will be waiting for this snack or I don't understand where dinner went. Either way, I hope it works out. I must say though that your friends and family will be a touch disappointed that they aren't fed.
Posted by melntaitt[/QUOTE]

<div>I think OP already answered this--because she has to have a late night snack!  *footstomp*</div>

leahkate

This may be one of rudest and most terrible ideas I've ever read. First off all, if you need an hour and a half or more for pics, do them before the wedding. Secondly, FEED your freaking guests! A bunch of drunk starving guests should not be what you want for your wedding. 

brosters

you guys are freaking crazy. you dont even know my family. no one is going to be leaving my wedding bahaa! listen we arent the only people who got married then skipped right to a dance people. listen you guys are all probably americans. Canadians do it right.

sarita86

Maybe you could serve off site catering. I don't really understand the logic, but I think you should serve some sort of meal. I haven't read through all the posts because honestly its daunting.  You could do Famous Dave's BBQ meal, or some restaurants, especially small businesses are willing to cater for a fraction of the costs as hotels and reception halls. You could keep the hors d'oeuvres.  so that they have something to nibble on. 

I understand you want it by a specific timeline, but there are ways to cut the costs without scarificing things such as the meal.  

This is just a thought--its a good idea to have something in your stomach before drinking, we don't want disasters on your day!

Again only a suggestion, and in the end the decision is yours. 

I'm here to help not harm but I do think you should try to work it out. 

brosters

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_food-cakes_to-have-or-not-to-have-a-dinner?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:23Discussion:7c18fa78-8f1e-451b-8dd7-8b24944bb1e1Post:c01cf867-dab4-435c-8ca0-0cd23e2a8b62">Re: to have or not to have a dinner?</a>:
[QUOTE]There's nothing wrong with serving sandwiches and salads, as long as YOU SERVE THEM AT AN APPROPRIATE HOUR.  I've never been to a wedding with a cash bar.  Dry wedding, sure. Plenty. But I've never had to provide my own anything at a wedding. There's nothing more pathetic than a falling-down wasted bride.  You're right, nobody HAS to go to your wedding.  But you do realize that, with your schedule, you are getting ready to spend a lot of money on a party that NO ONE IS GOING TO ATTEND.  You say you don't care if they leave to find food, but then you're going to have all this wasted food that you've paid for that no one will eat, because no one will stick around long enough to eat it.  You and your wedding party and your immediate families will be sitting around getting schnockered together.  Is that really what you want? And yeah, we take this stuff seriously.  Marriage is serious. It's kind of a big deal.  Committing yourself to one person for the rest of your life and all.  Or are you not planning on doing that either?
Posted by RebeccaB88[/QUOTE]


1) i have a little more respect for my self then to a falling down bride.
2) peoplewill not be leaving my wedding before 1 am and the buffet will be out at 930. and everyone invited to the wedding knows there is no dinner therefore they can make arrangements before they come. they realize we are a young couple and the food isnt the biggest deal of the day. we are married thats what they are there for.
3) i never once said something abiout marriage its self. i was talking about all you people with your 10 grand budget and more. your dresses were probably at least 5000 thats just crazy. my dress was on sale and it looks perfect.

anywayssssss apparently americans do it differently. im a farm girl. we are having a casual wedding. im wearing my cowboy boots under my dress.... so that gives you an idea on how low budget it is. i wouldnt have it any other way.  we are either getting a pig and that will be served or we are going with out otiginal plan

sarita86

What about having a grocery store cater your food. that would cut the costs down. True there must be some time of cultural disconnect we don't understand. I'm just trying to figurre out ways to help you get more bang for your buck.  Since it's casual I don't think that would be a problem if you had some grocery catering.. if the hall permits it. Maybe making some of the things ahead yourself or with some loving family members might help.

bemo12

Why not just put a trough down and fill it with slop for your guests? 

Then they'll know exactly how you really feel about them and it will fit in with your "farm girl" theme.