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Pre-wedding Parties
StephA83
member
Out of State Shower Invite Wording-Help!!
I am making the invitations for a friend's shower. She lives in California, but the shower is in Illinois where she is from. She obviously can't bring presents with her home on the plane. We would hope that people realize that, but know not everyone will think of it. If she gets real presents she will just have to return them.
We wanted to think of some way to word a little card insert that requests gifts be sent to her home instead of brought to the shower without implying gifts are a must. Any ideas on how to do this correctly and nicely???
A little poem would be cute, but I am not creative!
We wanted to think of some way to word a little card insert that requests gifts be sent to her home instead of brought to the shower without implying gifts are a must. Any ideas on how to do this correctly and nicely???
A little poem would be cute, but I am not creative!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Out of State Shower Invite Wording-Help!!
The real answer: You can't.
The point of a shower is to watch the bride open her gifts. Ideally guests will understand that she has a long way to travel but it's quite rude to ask them to ship the gifts to the bride's home.
What you can do: YOU can ship the boxed gifts to her as a gift to her. Or, you can assist her in making a list of the items received off her registry so she returns them in the shower location to buy them locally. The second option isn't ideal but asking guests in the invitation to not bring gifts to the shower isn't an option either.
[QUOTE]I am making the invitations for a friend's shower. She lives in California, but the shower is in Illinois where she is from. She obviously can't bring presents with her home on the plane. We would hope that people realize that, but know not everyone will think of it. If she gets real presents she will just have to return them. We wanted to think of some way to word a little card insert that requests gifts be sent to her home instead of brought to the shower without implying gifts are a must. Any ideas on how to do this correctly and nicely???<u><strong> A little poem would be cute, but I am not creative!</strong></u>
Posted by StephA83[/QUOTE]
A little poem might be cute, but it doesn't make what you're suggesting right. The purpose of a shower is to "shower" the bride with gifts. I agree that it's unfortunate that they'll have to be shipped. It that seems disagreeable, there is always the option to decline the shower.
The bride-to-be will be traveling a long way to visit on this special day. Gifts are not expected, but if giving, then gift cards are requested - as they have to make it back to Texas!
[QUOTE]I have the same issue and my MOH came up with this cute little poem. I obviously live in TX so it was pretty easy to make it flow... The bride-to-be will be traveling a long way to visit on this special day. Gifts are not expected, but if giving, then gift cards are requested - as they have to make it back to Texas!
Posted by robin&adam[/QUOTE]
OP: Please don't do this. It's really rude.
I don't think asking for giftcards is rude. Loved the TX poem. My sister did something similar for me. My FI and I are on a tight budget as well as our families so shipping gifts would be too much for us to handle financially. I would suggest the bride to be to bring an empty bag just in case some guests do bring gifts so that she can take them back on the plane with her.
Just because it's in poem form doesn't mean it isn't rude.
[QUOTE]It's my shower. If they think it's rude, they don't need to come. :-)
Posted by robin&adam[/QUOTE]
My, what a lovely sentiment.
It's better to be rude and just hope that your guests don't find the behavior offensive? I don't think you're "getting" the point of etiquette.
The Gifts
It's a good idea to suggest that the bride and groom register for gifts prior to the shower. In the shower invitations, include information about where guests can purchase presents. (Yes, this is okay etiquette-wise.) If you want guests to bring gifts in keeping with a theme, include special instructions. Just make sure there are related items on the registry so the soon-to-be newlyweds don't get unwanted gear. Investigate any special discounts you can pass on to shower-gift buyers.
I also want to say that our gifts to our guests will be gift cards. We are only doing one type of game-ish thing...and we will be giving out gift cards. It's a gift card shower...like a kitchen shower...but with instead of kicthen items...you give gift cards. :-)
It's still inapproriate to ask for certain types of gifts (as gift cards are) in the shower invitation.
Furthermore it's even worse to tell a guest that she shouldn't bring her gift with her to the shower and that she should ship it to the couple instead. That's up to the giver to do - she shouldn't be told to do so as doing so defeats the point of a shower.
A gift card shower is rude.
A few guests have already responded to the "giftcard shower" and they think it is GREAT!!! I wouldn't even worry about it ladies!!! :0)
I'm kind of disappointed to read so much negativity about the gift card suggestion. I think including some kind of reminder that the couple will be flying is a reasonable idea. Personally, I can't afford to ship all of my sister's gifts home for her on top of paying for the shower & other cross-country wedding expenses. Additionally, where it's a couples shower, the event is going to be more about mingling & less about oohing & ahhing over towels & cookware anyhow. I don't think I need to go so far as calling it a "gift card shower", but (while some may think it's uncouth) I'll still be adding a note with the registry information to remind our guests that a Kitchen Aid mixer will not fit in the overhead compartment.
Your presence is the only gift ----- desires.
If you do want to give a gift,
please do so in the form of a gift card or
package sent to -----'s home in California.
It was close family and friends who wanted to see them and have a shower here in IL though the couple lives in CA. No one was offended and most people were happy for the reminder. They said they wouldn't have thought about it and just bought a gift. I certainly couldn't afford all it would cost to ship big shower gifts across the country. Most people ordered a gift and had it delivered to their house and wrapped up a picture. Or they printed a picture of what they wanted her to get with their gift card. She still had items to open and it was a blast.
You shouldn't be involved in planning your shower.
What you want to do isn't polite.
You've resurrected a zombie thread.