Disaster! Help!

Jesstastic

First off I've been a MOH and it's kind of assumed (in this area anyway) that you'll be helping the bride with pretty much everything. I work and go to school full time (12-18 credits) and have a child but always made time for the bride. You need to manage your time if you accept such a role. Most of my bridesmaids are eager to help me with my wedding and I'm grateful because I do need their help.
Your MIL sounds like she was born to be a MIL. She's got some control issues and a what would the neighbors think perspective that would annoy the heck out of me. Sounds like she really doesn't like you and is doing anything to be obnoxious including shoving her religious beliefs down your throat.
However, I agree that the bride should not be "instructing" anyone but BMs on the color of her dress. You should have just said no ivory because it's important to you to be the only one in ivory or white.  I think you need to relax or the stress f wedding plannings going to ruin the day for you.

PeonyPrincesskdd

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_disaster?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:4a504e4d-0cad-4382-92b6-7a566d46e5faPost:5682da84-1013-4ef4-8425-994ff57fa7fa">Re: Disaster! Help!</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>First off I've been a MOH and it's kind of assumed (in this area anyway) that you'll be helping the bride with pretty much everything.</strong> I work and go to school full time (12-18 credits) and have a child but always made time for the bride. You need to manage your time if you accept such a role. Most of my bridesmaids are eager to help me with my wedding and I'm grateful because I do need their help. Your MIL sounds like she was born to be a MIL. She's got some control issues and a what would the neighbors think perspective that would annoy the heck out of me. Sounds like she really doesn't like you and is doing anything to be obnoxious including shoving her religious beliefs down your throat. However, I agree that the bride should not be "instructing" anyone but BMs on the color of her dress. You should have just said no ivory because it's important to you to be the only one in ivory or white.  I think you need to relax or the stress f wedding plannings going to ruin the day for you.
Posted by Jesstastic[/QUOTE]

Everything meaning "Everything"?  All I've heard MOH doing is maybe helping with the shower.  I mean, usually the mother hosts it and the bridesmaids might help with favors for it.  MOH usually plans the bachelorette.  She might help the bride if the bride asks for help, such as making a bathroom basket, or assembling favors, but the MOH is not responsible for much else.  That is what a wedding planner is for.  And the MOH can't just step in and start picking out floral arrangements and cake designs.  It is not MOH's wedding, it is the  brides wedding and the bride needs to do those things so she can use her own ideas and perspective.  You don't need anyone else's ideas or advice when planning a wedding because it is not anyone else's wedding but the bride and groom.  So being a MOH, all she is responsible for is purchasing her attire and planning a bachelorette and shower if she chooses to.  There is really no other territory she belongs in because that is the job of the bride and groom.  I'm not sure what else a MOH can do, unless the bride said, "Hey you can come over on Saturday if you want because we are all assembling favors".. and MOH can help if she is available.