No Sex Before The Wedding? Really?

FutureMrsHafer

Ok I am sure everyone has heard about this tradition no sex before you get married. Now in this modern world very few people are pure on their wedding day. So if someone is having sex with their FI how long before the wedding should you stop?

JenO24

Why should you have to stop?
Lots of woman on here will vote for morning wedding day sex!

livelaughlove88

My fiance wants to abstain for a while before to make it more special on the honeymoon.  I'd say a month wouldn't be asking too much.

FutureMrsHafer

Isn't seeing the bride 24 hours before the wedding bad luck?

aerinpegadrak

We were together until about 2pm on the wedding day, when we separated to go get ready.  I don't really get the whole "abstinence will make it more special" thought process.  The whole "pure before marriage" ship has clearly already sailed, so all withholding will really do is make the wedding night last about a minute and a half.

bbyckes

I seriously side-eye a lot of the "bad luck" superstitions.  It's all a bunch of malarkey.  I'd like an informal poll of all the causes of divorce just to see where "seeing the bride before the ceremony" would rank.  

I saw my H on the morning of the wedding.  Before leaving to the salon, I curled up next to him, kissed him on the neck and told him I couldn't wait to be his wife.  It was actually very sweet. 

JenO24

id like to see that poll to bbyckes!

meganyani

I don't understand 'taking a break.' Seems ridiculous if you've already been sexing. I also don't see how it's "more special"....you can have it every night of the week and change it up so it's always special.

/shrug. To each their own. I just laugh at the idea!

tldh

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_sex-before-wedding-really?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:1c89c6d2-a304-4e01-b0d3-b0ceb55e75c1Post:7ce42a61-e580-4ca2-b477-90f9ffd52fe8">Re: No Sex Before The Wedding? Really?</a>:
[QUOTE]My fiance wants to abstain for a while before to make it more special on the honeymoon.  I'd say a month wouldn't be asking too much.
Posted by livelaughlove88[/QUOTE]

Mine too.  What is it with these guys!??!?!?  Seriously!!

OP, if you decide to go this route, I would experiment a little in the months beforehand.  Not to get too personal here but some women start to tighten up if they've gone without for a while and the first time back is pretty uncomfortable.

trix1223

I think abstaining to make it "more special" is goofy.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_sex-before-wedding-really?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:1c89c6d2-a304-4e01-b0d3-b0ceb55e75c1Post:c8ebff6c-e086-4c99-98cf-57f185e7612c">Re: No Sex Before The Wedding? Really?</a>:
[QUOTE]Isn't seeing the bride 24 hours before the wedding bad luck?
Posted by FutureMrsHafer[/QUOTE]

Do you REALLY think that?

Personally, this might be TMI, but not having sex for a while makes me want to have it even less. So we won't be abstaining. We live together.

fairy_diva

No abstaining here, but we will be sleeping apart for a few nights before.  I have a ton of things to do in those few days and since we don't live full tinme together, I'll be at my house and he at his.

jagore08

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_sex-before-wedding-really?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:1c89c6d2-a304-4e01-b0d3-b0ceb55e75c1Post:10fd49a2-749e-4cfc-82f4-eda139233aa7">Re: No Sex Before The Wedding? Really?</a>:
[QUOTE]We were together until about 2pm on the wedding day, when we separated to go get ready.  I don't really get the whole "abstinence will make it more special" thought process.  <strong>The whole "pure before marriage" ship has clearly already sailed, so all withholding will really do is make the wedding night last about a minute and a half.</strong>
Posted by aerinpegadrak[/QUOTE]

<div>HAHAHAHAHAHA!</div>

jemmini6

I like the idea of not seeing each other on the wedding day, not because it's 'bad luck', but I want that 'wow' factor of the first time he sees me to be walking down the isle.  As for not having sex...the only reason we won't be (and only the night before) is because we will be sleeping apart.  It's going to be special on your wedding night anyways because it will still be your first time having sex as husband and wife.  I personally see no need to abstain for any period of time (if you are already having sex) just to make it 'seem' more special.

LuluP82

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_sex-before-wedding-really?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:1c89c6d2-a304-4e01-b0d3-b0ceb55e75c1Post:c8ebff6c-e086-4c99-98cf-57f185e7612c">Re: No Sex Before The Wedding? Really?</a>:
[QUOTE]Isn't seeing the bride 24 hours before the wedding bad luck?
Posted by FutureMrsHafer[/QUOTE]

I think the custom actually originated in the days of arranged marriages, when the groom could only see the bride at the altar so he couldn't change his mind...so it's more of a "don't see the groom before the wedding so he won't run off on you."

2dBride

I'd say that the only reason we abstained the night before the wedding was that we were sharing our bed with our dog and a friend's dog. 

tamires90

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_sex-before-wedding-really?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:1c89c6d2-a304-4e01-b0d3-b0ceb55e75c1Post:7b05c27e-b82e-4a7a-b3c5-bba8dddf7b68">Re: No Sex Before The Wedding? Really?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Personally, this might be TMI, but not having sex for a while makes me want to have it even less. So we won't be abstaining. We live together.
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Ditto!</div><div>I think it's pointless to stop having sex. If you've already done it, Why stop??? </div><div>Obviously your wedding night will be special... 

</div>

quotequeen

Um, not having sex before the wedding isn't a tradition, it's a moral code.  If you're having sex now, it clearly isn't your moral code, so why on earth would you stop?

SuMmErKuTiE

I don't understand taking a break from it either.. if you've already been having sex, what difference does it make if you stop? Humans are very sexual beings and the release is a stress reliever. I would much rather enjoy that bond and release with my man than for him to be doing it on his own. As far as seeing each other before the wedding, I also don't understand that. We woke up together at our place and separated for the day until our private reveal. The private reveal was one of the most tender and romantic moments of the whole day which I enjoyed so much better than him seeing me for the first time with 200 eyes on us.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

Also, not having premarital sex is really very uncommon throughout history and other societies. It's only been a part of western society since about the Victoria era. Other cultures think we're nuts.

Belle2Be

We'll be taking a break, it will give us something to anticipate for that night and add a little more excitement While some people seem to think its a ridiculous idea, they are also NOT in your relationship, so by all means do what the 2 of you want

aerinpegadrak

It's also worth remembering that over half of couples do NOT have sex on their wedding night.  It's a long and exhausting day, chances are you'll just be too tired.  We had sex the morning of the wedding, and not again until a couple of days later.  So pinning all of your hopes on your wedding night is a bad idea for more reasons than one.

Fred13

I agree that it's rare for one or both of the couple to be a virgin on their wedding day but as for taking a break from sex for a while before getting married, I get that. I think it's just really sentimental and for me, the reason that it makes it so special, is that you're supposed to be super excited for your wedding night. It's supposed to be this amazing, new frontier; this big adventure ya'll are undertaking together. Even if a couple is having sex already, taking a break makes you miss it all the more (absence makes the heart grow fonder, yes?) and really heightens the emotional aspect when you get to finally make love as husband and wife.

nikiandchris

FI wants to abstain for a short period of time, me, not so much. We've got 5 weeks to go and haven't yet stopped. I think the week or two leading up to the wedding we won't be having sex simply because I work nights, don't live with him, and between work, family arriving from out of town, and last minute things we're not going to be alone very much if at all.

I think it's totally a personal preference. If abstaining makes you anticipate the night more or enjoy it more, go for it! If it makes no difference, there's no point in stopping.

AbbeyS2011

I am opting for the morning of wedding sex because I know by the end of the day, we will both pass out! 

We discussed this way before we moved in together - sex is not a requirement for our relationship, it is a bonus.  What is important to both of us is that we love each other, are committed to each other, and we are together.  Neither one of us pressures the other to ever have sex - if we do, we do, and if we don't, we don't! 

lalalinny

To each their own, especially when it comes to something as personal and unique as sex. Everyone is different. If abstaining will make it special, then do it! If you want sex before the wedding, then do it! No biggie.

JoyMatt424

Yeah I think abstaining if you have already done it is silly... I am a virgin and so is my fiancee and we have decided to wait until we are married, but niether of us have ever done it before!

APW2010

I would not give up the best stress relief we have right at one of the more stressful times in our relationships. It would seriously jeopardize my sanity to give it up before the wedding.

direy25

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_sex-before-wedding-really?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:1c89c6d2-a304-4e01-b0d3-b0ceb55e75c1Post:10fd49a2-749e-4cfc-82f4-eda139233aa7">Re: No Sex Before The Wedding? Really?</a>:
[QUOTE]The whole "pure before marriage" ship has clearly already sailed, so all withholding will really do is make the wedding night last about a minute and a half.
Posted by aerinpegadrak[/QUOTE]

WIN

sabatron

My sister, mom, bridesmaid and I will be staying in a hotel suite together for two nights before the wedding.  My fiance and his groomsmen will have their own room as well. Two nights of abstinence is enough.

Haylie04

We're taking a break from sex for the two weeks before - only because we've been apart for that amount of time or longer in the past since he's in the military and the first time after taking a break absolutely IS more special/better to us.  That's us though - if it won't be any more special for you, then don't!  We're not doing it for any silly reasons like mimicing virginity or anything... it's just more special to us that way.  To each their own, of course.