My boyfriend and I have recently begun discussing the possibility of marriage. He is a Methodist and is fairly involved in his church, more so than I have been in the past few years (I'm 26). I was raised as an Episcopalian. Although I don't attend as regularly as I'd like (I spent some time "soul-searching" during college), I identify with my denomination more so than any other. My beliefs in regards to social justice, civil rights, etc. are in line with those of the church.
We were having a discussion about our possible wedding and I mentioned that I wasn't sure how we could fit all of the guests in my church (it is pretty small but not a big concern). He said, "Well, my church is huge so I don't know what you mean?". I had to explain that I always thought that I would be married in my own church - the one in which I was raised and had dreamed of it since I was a little girl. Also, I tried to explain that it was my understanding that traditionally the wedding would take place in the bride's church for numerous reasons. He got upset because he always thought he would be married at his church.
I tried to do a little research to help show him that our churches - UMC and Episcopal - were more similar than he probably thought. I always understood it as the churches were very similar to one another with the major difference being the Methodist church's emphasis on "missions" and seeing to "save" or convert others (which I personally do not agree with but understand). He basically shot down my attempts to find a middle ground and generally just ignored me and was unreceptive.
Basically, I'm trying to figure out how big of a problem this could be for us. I think he would come around to the idea that the wedding should take place in my church, but I think after the marriage itself I will need to make some sacrificing of my own in regards to where we as a married couple would be members.
Does anyone have any knowledge of this or advice for maybe the fundamental differences of the Methodist and Episcopal denominations or maybe how to alleviate the situation? I know several years ago he and another girl broke it off basically because she was a Catholic and he was not okay with the idea of marrying a Catholic and the problems it might cause - however, I know that in the Episcopal church only one member of the couple has to be Episcopal. But, I was hoping we could have it in my church but have his priest share the officiating with the Episcopal one to include his personal beliefs. I don't want him to go running because of this. Thoughts? Thank you in advance.