_

mzardas

I totally understand how something small can feel like a huge insult.  But generally when a small issue generates big feelings there is something else that is the root cause of the angst/hostility/discomfort (whatever you feel like calling it).

Is your man upset about this issue because it was presented in a disrespectful manner?  It was said he doesn't know the MOH he'd be paired with but do either of you know or have an issue with the GM you'd be paired with?  Are there guests attending that make either of you uncomfortable? (maybe an ex or former friend with whom there is unresolved conflict)

 It sounds like there is strain in the relationship with some member(s) of his family.  In-law relationships are not always easy to navigate as i'm sure we all have experienced (those of us married or not).  Unfortunately there is more scrutiny put on the comments or unshared opinions the DIL SIL BIL..etc bring to the table..Taking and voicing major issue with the Bride's wishes may look like you are stealing part of her day when it is not intended that way at all..Your feelings are important regardless of your label in the family but may need to be expressed more delicately and tactfully. As you said your family would never do it this way.  Well, how would you like someone to bring the same issue to your sides attention? 

 If you can figure out a way that would not create any more hurt feelings than there are already, I would encourage you to consider it over a period of time and then respectfully take whatever steps you and your husband feel appropriate and necessary.  Bow out, voice your concerns, or suck it up.  Its up to you but remember that your words are forever and the fallout may not be worth any good that comes from you persuading her to change the plan. 

Good luck

Melstar2002

I missed all the fun...but for half a second I thought "Holy crap that is my fiance's SIL!" But then I remembered that crazy B wasn't asked to be part of our wedding because she would pull something just like this!