Male Bridesmaid

jr2013

I don't have many girlfriends and I have one close male friend (he is gay) and I asked him to stand up for me. Now I was wondering what was the ettiqute for male bridesmaids (I don't think thats even what they are called)? Do they walk separetly or next to the groomsman? Are they in the same suit as the other men? Thanks

banana468

The etiquette is up to you for the most part.

A quick aside - the sexuality of your wedding party should be a non-issue.   I don''t think you mean it to be one but wanted to give a quick warning.    

You can have gay, straight or transgendered people in the WP.    Gone are the old 'women for the bride and men for the groom' rules.   There can be 'bridesmen' and 'groomsmaids' and it's about what works.

Personally, I think it would be rather classic for your attendant to walk by himself or you can pair him with someone of the same or opposite sex.   It really doesn't matter and is about what works for you.

Their attire can either match the groomsmen or they can wear somethng slightly different.   When women stand up for the groom they can wear the same dress as the BMs in the same color, in a neutral color like black, grey, or navy or they can wear a suit/tux.   I think the classic look of a man in a suit or tux has never gone out of style.

lagonza

My FI has a Best Woman.  Not a problem at all!  There are some really fun ways of doing it.  Mine's opposite, but here's what we're doing

Women in the bridal party in blush dresses.

Men in the groom's party in Khaki's with brown ties and white shirts (it's a casual, outdoor ceremony)

His Best Woman is wearing a brown version of the bridesmaid dresses so that she matches the appropriate party without having to wear the same thing as the men.

Good luck!

aerinpegadrak

You can see pictures of our mixed gender party in my bio.  My (straight, not that it makes a difference) brother stood on my side, walked with the groomswoman, and wore a tux in the same colors as the other bride's attendants.  As with any attendants, it's up to him which pre-parties, if any are thrown for you, he feels comfortable attending.

renegade gaucho

What does his sexual orientation have to do with anything?

jr2013

Sexuality has nothing to do with it. I didn't mean it like that at all! I just didn't word it right I guess. I am slightly embaressed cause of that. I have a few friends who are married and no one gave me advice on what we should do with them walking down the aisle except for the men standing up and the girls walking alone.

Kate61487

we had all the boys wear the same thing and all the girls wear the same thing, regardless of which side they stood on. Like PPs mentioned I've also seen groomswomen in a black version of the BM dress to match the guys' black tuxes, and a bridesman in navy to match the girls dresses, but I thought a cornflower blue suit might look a little dated on my bridesman ;-)

We had a bridesman and a groomswoman so it worked out that they walked together, but I think having two guys walk together is fine.  or you can have you attendants walk in solo while your FI's are already up front and have them weave single file out.  whatever works for you and makes your attendants comfortable.

A word of advice - the one thing I wish I'd done differently was that we had the BP get ready split by gender rather than side.  It made sense at the time b/c our GW was getting her hair done with the girls, etc.  But it resulted in my spending almost no time with my Bman. I wish I'd had him come over to the house to get ready with us and be in those photos (everyone got dressed privately anyway so it wouldn't have been a big deal).

ETA - as for what they're called: bridesman is the most frequently used, but I've also seen just "bride's attendants" in programs.  Since it's a fairly new idea anyway (last 10 years probably) the terms are still flexible, we played around with bridesdude and groomslady for a while.

Peledreamsofrain

His sexual orientation has nothing to do with anything, don't focus on it at all, or you'll embarrass him.  I would be embarrassed if someone made a big deal about something private at a huge public event.  It's nobody's business but his and who he chooses to share it with.

Talk to him about what he'd prefer, you know him best.  Do what makes him comfortable, and what he thinks would be fun.  That's what good friends do.  I did the same with my bridesmaids, and they told me that they didn't want to be escorted by the groomsmen.  Done and done.  Easy way to make good friends happy and feel treasured.