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Wedding Party

Having Groomsmen Instead of Bridesmaids?

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Re: Having Groomsmen Instead of Bridesmaids?

  • We are having one bridesmaid a best man and one groomswoman. My fiance has a very close friend that is a woman and wanted her to be a special part of our wedding so I suggested that he have her as the groomswoman. So far everyone we have told has been a bit surprised in the beginning but then thought it is a lovely idea.
    She is wearing a black dress to match the best man that is exactly the same as the bridesmaids.
  • Just wanted to let you know that the "Best Man" in my wedding is the sister of the groom - we are having a small wedding party Just the maid of honor and the best man or the best woman as I like to call her!  We were in the same boat as you - we knew we wanted her in the wedding party, but she is close to her brother it wasn't right to put her on my side just because she is a girl... So we made the unconventional choice and made her the best man. And the best part about all of it was that everyone supported the idea once we told them our decision. 
  • I love the idea of using male attendants if they are important to you. I'm personally having 4 bridesmaids and 2 bridesmen. The two guys that will be standing with me have been my best friends for years and I've known them longer than my fiance. Everyone I've told hasn't had a negative comment and supports what my fiance and I have chosen to do. While it may be unconventional, it makes the most sense to me to have the most important people standing by my side for such a huge event in my life.
  • I am having a Matron of Honor, a Bridesmaid, and a Bridesman.  People ask me the same two questions every time, "Is he gay?" and "Is he wearing a dress?".  I don't care what anyone thinks.  He's made a huge impact on my life and he's the one that should be there next to me :)
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  • Its your wedding and you should do what you want. I have twin brothers, who are 1 year older then me. They are my bestfriends. I had them as my "bridesmen" with my two best female friends. My MIL as they all do had, a few opinions like why can't they be groomsmen, why do they have to be "bridesmen" but my now husband and I said that this is how we wanted it and that is how its going to be. We don't care what "tradition" says, its our wedding and did it how we wanted to. My brothers were so honored be by my side and everyone thought it was great. Do what you want to do, its your day...bottom line.

  • My brother is going to be my man of honor... I know its not triditional but times are changing... I think if that what the bride wants then thats great!!!!
  • I'm so glad you're seriously considering Bridemen. My best friends are guys but I went against my best judgement (just to prevent drama) and asked 2 of my cousins, my best friend from high school, my groom's sister (to keep the peace) and my 10 year old niece. However, my wedding is still a little over a month away and my cousins have started all kinds of problems, so much so that my mother and their mother are only speaking if they absolutely have to and they are sisters. I did find another place for my best guy friends, they are ushering and we're giving them the same gifts that we're giving the grooms men. They also said they would do whatever else needed to be done, they even agreed to fly into town a week early. I guess, I know who my "man of honor" is even if he doesn't get to stand up next to us. Megan if that is what you want, DO IT, its your wedding and you want to know you had the most important people standing next to you on the most important day of your life (I'm kicking myself for not just listening to myself)  
  • I am having a mixed party for the brides side (ME) I am having my best friend of many years and her husband who means a lot to me.  On the grooms side we are using his bestfirends who happened to be married to each other so a guy and a girl....Do want you want, not what people say is tradition, it is your wedding!  Have a great day!
  • I think it's totally ok to have bridesmen, and groomsmaids. I was a grromsmaid a few years ago (totally awesome!) and will be having a bridesman in my party for my wedding next year! It's all about who is closest to you and who you want at your side on the big day.

    All the best!!

  • I have made the decision to have a man of honor instead of a maid of honor and so far people seem rather receptive to it. I have already chosen the rest of my bridal party who are females, but the more I thought about it there were several other important males in my life (aka my brother and my best friend from college) I would have loved to have on my side....but I guess I was afraid to go too far out of the box since we are doing other unconventional things like dancing down the aisle. I suggest doing what makes you happy because when it comes down to it...it's your day and you want to be as happy as possible surrounded by the closest people to you! It's too late now for me to make these changes, but since you haven't decided yet...I highly suggest it!!
  • I am getting married in two months. We each have three people on our sides. I have two female friends from highschool, and a male friend that I've known since gradeschool. My fiance has the same thing on his side (two college buddies and his female neighbor that he grew up with). This is your day - not your parents or his parents. And these are the people that you will be sharing this entire wedding experience with - choose the people that you love, that you've shared good and bad times with, and the people that you can trust with the inevitable responsibilities of this occasion. This is a new era, a new age, and both of your parents are going to have to come to terms with the fact that the age old traditions are just that, OLD, and outdated.  
  • I will be having only groomsmen in my wedding.  There will be a best man standing up for my future husband and a man of honor standing up for me.  There is nothing wrong with having men instead of women in your bridal party.  This is 2010!  lol...and besides, it is your (fiance and you) wedding and your day. :)
  • I am having a man of honor and my fiance is having a best woman.   If we can do it, so can you.  It is your day and in the end your family will come around.
  • I am having a "Bridesman" and I think it's a great idea. I took some persuading on his part but he went to a wedding and saw someone who had a bridesman also so he felt more comfortable about. I love the idea and think if that's who you are closest too, than you should do it!!!  Best Wishes!!
  • Have whomever is closest to you.  Your family might not understand why you picked them at first but it is your wedding and when you are standing up there you want the people closest to you.  Marriage is a big step and when you are nervous or crying from happiness its going to be the closest friends that you will want by your side for reassurance and comfort.  Its YOUR wedding; dont worry about tradition and family; they love you and will get over it!  lol 
  • We have a bridesmen and a groomsmaid in our wedding. It didn't make sense for us to have my friend on the groom's side and his friend on my side. My FMIL wasn't too sure about this concept at first, but she came around to it and now thinks it's quite fun. We decided that their attire should be different since they are on opposite sides from the other men and women. We have our bridesmen wearing the same tux as the groomsmen but a vest and tie that coordinates with the bridesmaid dresses. Our groomsmaid is wearing the same color as the bridesmaids but in a satin to match the tux labels and it's a seperate so we could tie in some black.

    My advise is to stick to your wishes. If that is what you and your fiance want then you should do it.
  • I am having bridesmen in my party.
    An option to consider, if you're really concerned about it and want it all to stay troublefree.......
    have everyone stand as couples......rather than on one side or the other.....
  • Not that I'm totally against the idea but I don't think my groomsmen would enjoy walking with another guy.  Also it should be a joint decision and both sides should agree on it.  You are getting married to you groom or bride not your wedding party!  
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  • My Son's Bride had a "Bridesman" stand for her in their wedding.  The Groomsmen wore a chocolate brown tux with cream colored vest and tie and the Bridesmen wore the same tux but with cornflower blue vest and tie - same color of the bridesmaid dresses.  It was such fun and no one really cared about the very modern twist to the wedding party.  Oh, and yes - the Bridesmen is gay!
  • I have a Man of Honor. So I say go for it!
  • OH ABSOLUTELY.  I not only have a maid of honor but a Man of Honor.  He is my best friend of over 15 years and I couldn't think of a better way to celebrate this special moment without him.  My Fiance thinks he is great and my Maid of Honor is his friends as well so it's perfect.  Times have changed and you want to celebrate your day with the people who will love you and respect you and support you and your fiance through good or bad.  People can't understand, that's ok.  Make it your and your honey's day.
  • My maid of honor is my best friend, the person who has always stuck by me through everything for as long as I can remember. It doesn't matter that he's a man, it's all about who you want to stand with you the most n your wedding day and not whether they are the same sex as you. Go For It and have whoever you want. I am.
  • For SURE! I am having one bridesman with 6 women, and my fiancee is having 2 groomswomen, with 5 men.
    We chose a black and white wedding, so that everyone is in black and blends in.

    We still havent figured out if the women on his side should wear the same dresses as my bridesmaids?? a different dress, but the same as each other.

    Does anyone have Any thoughts??
  • I am not having a traditional bridal party...we are doing Best Friend of the Bride and Best Friend of the Groom...both men.  My best friend (other than my fiancee) is a guy, and my fiancees best friend is a guy...these are our two closest friends.....its the only way I even considered doing it
  •  Well I can tell you that I personally was a groomswoman, or " what ever the name is suppose to be" My sister and I wore a beautiful gown for my brothers wedding. The bride had her family on her side as bridesmaids wearing the same color dress as I. First let me ask, this is your day and who would you love to have standing beside you, happy for you and your future husband. Years ago most people didn't change anything and they invited everyone that everyone else wanted whether they liked them or not, it was just for show, but it showed in the pictures and in the comments. Shouldn't your wedding be true with good memories and less drama. Your making a memory. Do you want a memory of I really wish I did........
    People at first said this is different and then the next comment was, How beautiful and thoughtful the wedding was. Someone actually came up and said to me and my sister in front of the bride, " the wedding really showed the love between the family", and it did. Because you know the bride had to O.K. it LOL    I might add the pictures were gorgeous. Different is not always a bad thing. Good luck with your choice and Enjoy YOUR Wedding.Smile
  • I have a Bridesman in my wedding party  (8 Bridesmaids and one Bridesman).   My fiance will have one Groomswomen in his bridal party  (8 groomsmen and 1 groomswomen).  I've put them immediatly after the MOH and BM.  When they walk down the aisle:  My groomsman and my sister (walking down together) will both line up to the left, and the Groomswomen and her husband (walking down together) will both line up to the right.   Everything else will proceed as normal.

    Some ideas that you can have:
    If you have a brother,  put him on your side.  If you're fiance has a sister, put her on his side.   That way you can say you want family on your respective sides.

    I've been in other weddings, where the bridesman and groomswomen will walk down together, then just line up on their respective sides.

    When you tell your FMIL, tell her that this really means a lot to you, and that she can critique anything else about the wedding, but not this.  (Gets the point across that she's not going to change your mind about it)

    If you have a lot of bridesmen,   Have the groomsmen already standing with your fiance,   then use the bridesmen to escort your Mother, Mother in Law, and any other important females.  Once the escort is finished,  they'll just line up on your side.  Any remaining  bridesman can walk down the aisle with the bridesmaids or groomswomen.

    Good luck!!!!

  • I'm doing this.  I've always had more male friends then female..  so when I got engaged it made more sense to have my best friend be a brides-man..  other than a not as close female friend.  My sister is still being my MOH..  the hardest part to figure out what after we're pronounced man and wife, walking back down the isle since normally the groomsmen, walk with the bridesmaid's.  but I figure they can just walk in a straight line :D
  • As long as your groom is ok with it go for it! I know my finace is having his sisters as his groomsmen, so its sort of the reverse. Don't let the typical gender roles get in your way, its your day and you can have whoever you want to be part of it.
  • I am so glad that you brought this up!!!! I was wandering the same thing and as soon as I thought to really voice it...I saw this topic in my inbox. I wanted to have bridesmen and bridesmaids in my wedding, my only dilemma was explaining this to my fiancée, only b/c he's expecting traditional bridesmaids and that has been what we've talked about. I'm far from trad...and I don't have many lady friends. So I think this'll work! Thanks for mentioning this...thought I was alone in this one! Congrats to all
  • Oh.. one more thing.. if you do go with this I've found most people are supported, but get ready for some negative comments as well like *are they wearing a dress down the isle?*  and such...  Remember.. it's YOUR day to do what is going to make it the most meaningful to yourself 
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