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Wedding Party

Having Groomsmen Instead of Bridesmaids?

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Re: Having Groomsmen Instead of Bridesmaids?

  • My groom has his ex girlfriend as his Best "Man". I think you are safe. We're calling her his attendant. She is his only attendant, and mine is my 12 year old sister. You do what you want. She is his closest friend other than me, so it makes since. My sister is closest to me and is available. That's what happens when your BF and wanted MOH joins the army and gets shipped off to Afghanistan. Count your blessings for close friends who can be physically there for you no matter what the gender. Weddings don't have to discriminate on anything and neither do your inlaws.
  • my fi has 3 male attendants, i have 4 female and 1 male.
    sides dont have to be even. my bridesman will be escorting one of my bridesmaids down the aisle then both standing on my side.
    my bridesman's tux accessories are the same color as my bridesmaids dresses.
    the groomsmen will be wearing a different color.

    i will be a groomsmaid in my bridesman's wedding next summer. he wants me to wear a khaki skirt and light blue blouse because his groomsmen are wearing khaki pants and light blue button up shirts.

    10-10 siggy favorite summer picture Image and video hosting by TinyPic http://hiscb.blogspot.com/
  • Hi!  Check out our wedding website...ginnieandsean.com.  There will be your answer on how I feel about this subject.  The day after we got engaged (15 months ago) we immeidately started to talk about our wedding and who would be a part of it.  I randomly asked my fiance' who he thought would be in our wedding from my side.  Without a minute of hesitation he named all the people (all guys) that he thought would be in my bridal party.  He got every single person right on the money!  Truly, a man who knows me and loves me for it.  To have "bridesmen" is perfectly acceptable, if they are the people who mean the most to you and are the people who have supported you no matter what.  I have amazing girlfriends that I would not trade for anything, but the guys that are in my wedding are the soul mates of friends who have been there the longest and no matter what will turn the world upside down to be there for me.  Most importantly, over the years they have proven that time and time again.  So to answer your question, in my opinon, pick those people (male or felmale) in your life who you want to remember 50 years from now as those who supported you through one of life's most amazing moments, not the people who traditon tells you should pick.  I also warn you not to pick the people who you think will get the best reaction from the crowd.   This day is about you and your fiance'.  You won't remember most of it as it will be a whirlwind so in your heart make sure you can remember you made it as much about you and your fiance as you could.  After all...it is your day!  You want to look back on this day as the happiest, most amazing time of your life not a day you had to conform.  In a nutshell, my advice...make sure the people who are standing next to you and supporting you are the right people.  Don't be a fad, trend or a tradition, go with what is in your heart.

    All the best!|  Enjoy it, it is an amazing time if you let it be! 
  • I think it's a great idea. I have my brother as my man of honor instead of having a maid of honor. Although sometimes I think he's not really all too sure as to what his roll was but was a good sport at my bridal shower and was the model for the toilet paper dress game!
    We have the same amount of Men and Women in our wedding party and have decided to have them alternate boy, girl standing next to us and kind of looping around back of us up onto a stage (Due to the weird layout of the church we are getting married it)
    I say more power to you if you want to have guys then have them! It's your day and that's all that matters!
    Bri
    NH
  • I totally agree with everyone who's said go for it. My best friend is going to be my "Man of Honor". I've run it by a few family members, and everyone's been supportive, but honestly, I just couldn't have it any other way.
  • This a second marriage for both me and my future husband, so when  it came to choosing a witness, I automatically thought of Gus.  We have been friends for over 30 years.  When I was asked, I said that were not having a bridal party, but we were having witnesses!  Of course our grandchildren are our flower-girl and ring bearer.

  • It's great to hear that other people are having mixed wedding parties where you have bridesman and groomsmaids. For our wedding, I have one of my closest friends in college who happens to be male be one of my bridesman and my FI is having one of his best friends as his groomsmaid. 

    I figured that you should have your closest and dearest friends stand by you at your wedding. I know it might seem a little strange to our rather traditional and conservative Filipino families but traditions to change. It's our day, not theirs and if they don't like it, they can stuff it.

    So go for it! Remember that it's your day and you want your closest and dearest friends to share it.  
  • This is a second marriage for each of us and I am having my 3 sons stand next to me and my groom is having his son and daughter stand on his side.  Even though it's our children (grown) we have experienced a raised eyebrow or two.  Who cares?  This is our day and it truly should be about what brings us joy.  Right?  Do what makes you happy --- that way you'll have no regrets or resentments.

  • I'm not having any bridesmiads. I'm having a Man of Honor and that's it. 
    He'll wear the same tux as the Best Man. 
  • I'm in the same boat as you are! Instead of a maid of honor, I asked my best guy friend to be my man of honor! Ask whomever you feel the most comfortable with...after all, this is the day where all of your family and friends come to celebrate the joining of you and your husband-to-be! I've had several people give me weird looks about the fact that I have a "Man of Honor," but at the end of the day, your guests won't be talking about who stood beside you. Instead, they'll be talking about how beautiful your dress was, how handsome the groom looked, and how sweet your first dance as husband and wife was! So, go ahead and have some bridesmen instead of bridesmaids! Your closest friends should stand beside you on your wedding day, whether they're guys or girls!
  • I asked my closest friend, a guy, to be my Man-of-Honor. He was absolutely thrilled and honored by the idea. We are having them wear something different from the Groomsmen (a vest and tie change). Also, if it helps your 'traditional' family:

    'A maid of honor was originally the top attendant of the Lady being married and assisted to her every need in preparing for the event'.

    Generally it was a woman, but in the North American adaption of this tradition, she serves as the closets friend bestowed with the highest honor (male or female). Female being predominant only because one duty was helping the bride into the dress and a 'virtuous' bride would never be in a room with a man dressing her. Should this duty be given to your mother or bridesmaid- problem solved.

    Hope that helps with the talking and justifying to your parents. Good luck! 
  • We are having a very mixed bridal party.  No bridesmen, but two groomsgirls and a flower-boy!  Its your day.  And I think you just need to make it clear to everyone that you have chosen your attendants based on the people who are closest you and who you expect to support you the most as you start your married life.  No one can dispute with that!
  • In my wedding party, we have the FSIL as a groomsman, partnered with my nephew who will be a bridesmaid (Dont think Children they are adults) and I have 4 other femalee bridesmaids as well.  I have also been to another wedding where the groom had his sister on his side and the bride had her brother on hers. 
    I really dont think that it should be a very big deal, as long as your partner is fine with it.
  • I'm having my brothers stand with me and my fiance is having his sisters stand with him! Its mixed but balanced and just really makes more sense for us. That said, the people who are closest to you should stand with you, its your day :) Just be straight with her and explain your reasons if you must - but stand firm, and make sure your fiance defends you too, you deserve that! Good Luck!!!
  • One of close friends had all her sisters (4 in total) as her bridesmaids so her hubby had his sister (and only sibling) as his "best man"....the "best man" or chief chick as we called her wore a dress exactly the same as the bridesmaids BUT it was black while the bridesmaids wore maroon!!
      It was speical, and showed the bond between brother n sister!! and my partner and I oringinally planned on something simliar (my bro and sis for me,his bro and sis for him) but we are eloping now!!  Id say if your man is ok with it go for it - just make sure that its all fair in love n war and if you wanted mixed allow him to have mixed too!!
  • My bestfriend is male and he is going to be my Man of honor (he come up with that ;P) no matter what everyone thinks. Not everyone is happy about it either. But remember this is YOUR day. You will always regret not having them by your side. Don't stress after it's all said and done you will be happy with your decision.
  • this is so ok I am getting married next year and I have my 2 girls and also my brother standing with me many people do it now and its new and fresh, why should your male friend miss out because it is not traditional? I mean people dont always wear white dresses anymore so why not have a man standing with you?

    Kellie
  • I am actually having a 'bridesman' on my side and my FH is having a 'groomswoman' on his side.  It is all about who u want-it's your day!!
  • I've got to tell you I've kinda been in your boat. I have a best girl friend, and a best guy friend. So, I undoubtably asked the guy to be my bridesman... which I also call him. He said yes, however, when I told my dad he was not for it. Again, my dad is paying too. Luckly, I explained that he's my best friend and one of the two people that have to be next to me (even tho I have five total). I gave him some time and he realized that it was important to me so he didn't complain. 
  •   I am somewhat in the same situation, where instead of a maid of honor, i have a *dude* of honor :)  I think at the end of the day you should just ask the people who are closest to you and do what you want, it is your wedding and they are your friends.   Hope this helps!

    Sarah
    ~I'll be true, I'll useful, I'll be cavelier, I'll be yours my dear... and I'll belong to you if you'll just let me through~
  • I encourage you to have who you want by your side. We are having a very untraditional wedding party 2 bridesmen and 2 groomsmen and 1groomswoman. This is your day and you should have who means the world next to you!
  • You should definitely have whoever is closest to you -- i am doing the same, having my best girl friend be my maid of honor and then my brother is my "bridesman"  :)  FI's two closest guy friends are in his party.
  • Love it! Yes go for it! I have a Man of Honor, my BFF! Everyone loves him!!! At first many of my family members had a hard time with the idea of having a guy. My dad was super supportive and when the rest of my extended family got to know my Man of Honor they fell in love with him! He is walking down with my 2 jr bridesmaids! Good luck and have fun on that big day!
  • We are having bridesmaids and "Groomsmaids" in our wedding (my fiance's daughters) so I don't see why "Bridesmen" would be a big deal!  Have the people that are meaningful to you.  I am sure if you tell your FMIL that, she will be ok with the idea. 
  • I'm getting married this December and having a best man instead of a maid of honor. My very best friend is a man, so why shouldn't he be standing next to me on such a special occasion! Go for it!
  • You can have whom ever you want to be at your side. I ha my best friend who was a man stand in for me he wa my man-of-honour
  • I was actually going to have a bridesmen except we had a falling out a little over a year ago.
  • I actually have a "Man of Honor" because my best friend, who has been my best friend since we were toddlers, is a man.  Both my fiance's and my family was totally cool with it.  
  • I am getting married in November.  I am having a mixed bridal party.  My "maid" of honor is a man, and so is one of my "brides" maids along with my sister.  I am going to have they walk down the isle single file.   It's 2010... I think who is the closest to you should stand up next to you on your special day.
  • Choose who ever is closest to you and would always be there for you...I chose my best guy friend from high school to be one of my three bridesmaids and he accepted.  Do what make you happy.
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