Having Groomsmen Instead of Bridesmaids?

PamandTroy

My MOH is my MAN of Honor!  I ask my brother to stand up with me. 


When's the wedding?
10-10-10 (so he won't forget, forget, forget)!

caravass

My brother will be my bridesman, and my fiance's brother will be his groomsman. So much easier and more meaningful to me than having to pick among many female friends.  

devoynne

I say go for it, you should have people that know you care about you want you happy and are willing to help, than to stick with tradition and be unhappy. Let's face it we all love our families but we all know that what they feel is best for us is not always best for us, and that they tend to try and push what they want onto us not because it's best but because it is just what they want.

This is a day for you and your future hubby, make is memorable for the two of you, surround yourselves with the people you love and I think everything will be just great. And thanks to your idea I may have my brother stand up on my side. ;o)

aim1230

I'm having a Bridesman as well.  And 3 Bridesmaids, along with the MOH.  They would have to be called Bridesmen because they are on the bride's side and standing up for you because you are close to them.  Only call them "Grooms"men if they are on the Grooms side.  I guess this would also make a woman on the grooms side a "Groomsmaid". 

It doesn't matter what anyone says, you pick your closest friends to be up there with you.  However, if it turns out to be all guys, they will have no idea what a bridal shower entails at all...lol

Creoendios89

I'm a wedding photographer for a living. I once had a wedding where the bride had a, "Man of honor" and the groom had a, "Best woman". It was AWESOME! The pictures were cool. The couple loved it. It was so them. Do what represents YOU!

breswedding2010

You should defnitely do it. Your wedding is about you and your fiance, not some silly rules. I am having 1 bridesdude and my fiance is having 1 groomschick. My guy friend has been in my life since junior high and I couldn't imagine him not being there to support me on such a big occasion. It worked out well that my fiance also has a really great female friend so the pairing matched up. We haven't had any pushback on the idea and most people accept it as being hip and modern.
Go with your gut, it's your big day

Murphy1982

Go for it!  I am having my best guy friend stand up on my side and I couldn't imagine not having him there - he was the first friend I asked to be in the wedding.  I'm listing him as a "Bride's Mate" because he's British.  We aren't having a traditional processional, so pairing him up with a groom's man isn't an issue.

Ultimately, surround yourself with the people who mean the most to you, and if someone is rude about it you don't owe them an explanation.  Good luck!

Nuttmeg911

We switched...I have a man of honor and he has a best woman.....I have known my man of honor since 1st grade, and everyone is completely supportive and actually finds the fact we switched our bests pretty cool and interesting. Who cares if they're a girl/guy...it's who's been there for you, supports you, and will be there for you.
Our trouble was figuring out how to differentiate my man of honor from the other groomsmen, just cuz we wanted it to be clear he's on my side and my "man of honor"....So tmy girls will be in green and he'll have a green vest and bowtie....and FI will be in a silver vest in bow tie, best woman in a  black dress and silver sash wrapped around, and groomsmen in silver vests and regular ties

It's your wedding, have who you want

Oh and someone said this earlier, definitely expect the "are they going to wear a dress" comments....They get really annoying after a while, but you just hafta deal with it

DeryniMagic26

If you are planning on getting married in a church you might want to ask their rules. Or at least how your pastor feels about it as well once you choose one.

My brother was going to have a groomswoman when he got married and he then he and his FI talked to their pastor and he refused to do the wedding and said they would not be able to get married in that church (very conservative Luthren church) if my brother had a woman on his side. So she got moved to my SIL's side. I personally see nothing wrong with it b/c ultimately its the people you really feel deserve that honor and if you are closer to your male friends by all means go for it!!  

I think that if I were going to have any males on my side I would try to off set them with females on the Groom's side. But that's the OCD side of me.

~~Chillin in Texas

tgayse

I am getting married in January - and I am having a Man of Honor and I think it is just fine!!  It is whoever you want and who you feel will keep you calm on the big day.  My fiance and I are both having our brothers stand up for us, that is what makes sense to us so that is what we are going for!!  My brother joked around about having to wear and dress and shave his legs - but I know we is happy to be standing next to me for my wedding day.  So I say do what feels good for you and good luck.

tinyboondockelf

I chose my siblings to be my bridal party, since they're the most important friends I have, and we've been together, supporting each other, since birth! That means I've got one bridesmaid and two bridesdudes, and I wouldn't have it any other way. (Plus, it completely eliminates any of my female friends going, "Aww, I can't believe she didn't ask me to be a bridesmaid!" They all get how important my family is to me, and they think it's a really cute idea.)

laurentim717

My brother is going ot be my one of my "Bridesman".  Everyone has been super excited about it! So go for it!!!  It is YOUR wedding so do what make YOU happy!!

tappergirl

My fiancee had someone when he was going to college as a mentor that was like a second mother to him, she is standing on his side as his Best Lady, and since she's already over there, we put his sister on that side also as a groomsmaid. The ministers have no problem with it, and it better suits who is standing up for who.

karacaspillo

i dont have any bridesmen but my fiance is having jis sister as his best man and a close friend and one of his attendants... i think it is awesome. it shows how far we have come in this day and age...

you should have who u want standing up with you not what makes your family happy.. it is your wedding not theres

Rache0729

Oh my gosh it is the 21st century weddings are non-traditional.  My best friend is a guy and he is my "best man" instead of a maid of honor.  It is your wedding not your FMIL's wedding so I would do what will make you happy.

konhaottie

I also have one bridesman and 3 bridesmaid and my hubby to be has a groomswomen on his side...it's all about who you love and want to stand up with you.And my bridesman is my x's best friend but we stayed friends after the break up and it's been like 14 years now so I can't imagine not having him in my party...an he's always token boy lol!

MeghannShane

I think it is quite common now of days to have mixed sides.  I'm also having a bridesman.  He has been my best friend for over 12 years, and the idea of him not standing on my side on my big day was just heartbreaking.  He will be wearing a blue tie to match my bridesmaids' dresses and the groomsmen will be wearing green ties, so everyone can easily spot our special bridesman. 

You have to remember it is your wedding between you and your fiance, so your opinion should be the one that matters the most. 

summor

I actually have a Man of Honor and I don't care what anyone things.  He has been my best friend for years and I could not think of anyone better to have by my side on one of the most important days of my life!  He is very honored also.  I have ensured that his role is very masculine b/c some can get the wrong impression.  For example, he will not be holding my bouquet when i exchange vows, etc. He will take it from me and pass it to the next bridesmaid is line.  Again...don't worry about what others think.  It's your day and think to yourself, "how do i want to remember my day?"

Traceyrb

No I don't think it should be offensive... too many shows, magazines, traditions and hence, family feel or push the traditional bridesmaids... I for one am not having them in my wedding, which is very close... I am only having my children and my mom in our wedding.. a private, intimate garden wedding in TN. As far as you, I do feel that it's your day, and you should do what you feel in your heart is right. Why would you want women standing beside you when you don't feel that connection with them? Ceremonies are about God, family and friends who bring joy and laughter into your life. Who better than to have those who YOU feel should be there? I think it's a great idea, it's your day, and whatever makes you happy as a bride, then should be up to only you!  Tracey B.

cupcake68

You can do whatever you like. My FI is having what we're calling a "Groomsgirl" on his side because she is one of his closest friends and I had no problem with it. Everyone in the family thought it was cool and because of their friendship, knew she is important to him.

I say go with it and your FMIL will just have to deal. Good luck.

karla&carlos

My wedding is in May 2010 and instead of a  Best Man we have a Best Woman. My FI decided to ask his best female friend of 12 years to by his side. I don't think it matters if it's male or female as long as it is someone that you care for and is close enough to you to be in your WP. 

I think is a good idea that you ask your male friends because ultimately when you look at your pictures in the future you will be happy to see that the people that are closest to you were there with you. Also it would be something very different to have at a wedding.  

JuniperPixie

I did a little research on this before I made my decision, and it seems that when you have an opposite sex person stand with you, they are called an "honor attendant".
So, there's gotta be precedent if there's a name for it!!

I will have my Maid of Honor and my Honor Attendant, and he will have his Best Man and his Honor Attendant!

What's really gonna throw everyone for a loop is my "Flower Boy"... :-)

Go For It!!  

FinallyReadyOct3

Funny enough I'm still having a "maid of honor" but it will be my best friend (who is a man) in full out drag! I can't wait to see My FH's grandmother when she realizes it my friend Michael as his drag persona Prava Couture!! It's your wedding! Its all about the people who love and support you standing by your side

navoight

I don't see it as being a problem. I am having my brother in my side of the wedding party along with three girls. I have given him the title "bridesdude" and my fiance is having his best girl friend and two guys on his side. You're wedding should be what YOU want. Its YOUR DAY. Make your wedding your own- in the end it will make you the happiest to follow what's in your heart.

laurarado

My brother is my MAN OF HONOR!  I wouldn't THINK of having anyone else---we have been through so much together and he is my very best friend (other than my mom and fiance!!)  He is taking his duties SO seriously---planning our last fun trip as singles and even the SHOWER (although i feel like there will be shots involved--i mean he IS a guy!!)---his friend even got him the knot's bridesman book so he could review his duties and "Made of Honor" the movie!!! DO IT----------

malchris2007

I am so doing that.... I have guy friends that are closer than girlfriends and so to spice it up I have 3 Bridesmaids and 2 Bridesmen, he has 3 Groomsmen and 2 Groomsmaids.... works perfectly!!

mrhendric

I'm about to be married in a little over a month, and I had the same predicament you have. My best friend is a guy, and I absolutely could not see myself not having him stand up there with me on the most important day of my life. I was worried about the response, but I've found that he has been invaluable in support when it comes to that issue. Those closest to you will be invaluable to you too. Good luck to you! It will be wonderful, no worries!

valerieandezrah

I am having a ton of "bridesmen" who are friends with my fiance as well.   Conversely, he has girls who are "groomsgals".  We are not actually using either term, but instead calling our wedding party "the weddng posse".  It seems oudated that if you are close with someone your fiance wouldn't be. 

dragonflirt006

mY "MAID OF HONOR" IS ACTUALLY MY "MAN OF HONOR" CUZ I DONT HAVE A EST FEMALE FRIEND I ONLY HAVE HIM NOT TO MENTION THAT ,Y BRIDESMAIDS ARE ALL FAMILY AND I WASNT GOING TO CHOOSE ONE OVER THE OTHER FOR A MAID OF HONOR HAHA

esteswedding

Yes you can!! Actually my wedding is this October and I will be having Bridesmen and My fiance is having Groomswomen.   Can't wait!!