prayer request

orangehills

I have a prayer request... for myself. I'm trying to decided whether or not I'm going to cancel our current wedding plans and go with something very small, just immediate family and our wedding party and their SOs. It would be 13-16 people, depending on who is in a relationship at the time. It would cut costs a lot, which would allow us to do more that we want to do in life in the next few years. It would majorly cut stress. But part of me is also terrified of disappointing people (no STDs were sent, just word of mouth, and no parties have been held). I'm also scared that I could regret it later on about not having a bigger wedding to have people ooh and ahh over us. But then I think- would I also regret the big wedding and spending more than we have and not being able to go on the trip we really want to before we have kids when it won't be a possibility? I just don't know, and I have to make the decision by the end of the week since we are sticking with our date of 4-6-13. So, I just ask if you have a second, to shoot up a prayer for me to have peace about which situation I should go with!

Also- if it was you... what would you do? Opinions?

Ash61612

praying!

how does FI feel about it?

sessionswedding

Praying!

I'll just say that DH and I ALMOST did this.  We had the smaller wedding tentatively planned, but decided to go ahead with our original plans.  I kind of wish we hadn't.  Our wedding was so huge that we ended up not knowing a lot of the people there, it was a bit loud and not at all intimate, and SO many things went wrong that I'm almost certain wouldn't have gone wrong at a small wedding.  Plus we would have had more money to put towards the downpayment on the house we just bought.  I know they say the grass is always greener on the other side, but DH and I agree that if we could do it over, we'd go down to the beach and bring 10 people with us and get married in the sand.

mrandmrsbrist

I'll definitely be praying for you. I'll say that we also wanted something very small, very intimate and it was actually my parents who decided that they wanted to pay for a big huge wedding. We didn't have the heart to tell them no, and now we both wish we had. 

orangehills

FI is all for it, I know his parents would like it, and my mom is all for it as she is the one paying. It would save her money, and us, because we were over budget. A lot of the people invited I don't know, or my FI didn't know on my side. I mean, if money wasn't an issue or stress, then yah, I'd love to have the bigger wedding but unfortunately it is! I think we may just have the ceremony at a little chapel in the church I grew up in, then have dinner at our original restaurant. We are going to think on it for the week and then make the decision, but thank you for the prayers! I'm going to need them!!!

And that's so funny because it's about half- half people sa they wish they went for the smaller wedding, and half say the bigger wedding was the best day ever. But since my FI and I aren't the most social or a huge fan of parties, small may be where it's at...

Julie2013

Prayers for wisdom in this decision headed your way!

ravenray

Hey orange where did you want to get married?  I will be praying for you.  I think there is something very nice and personal in a small wedding.  We just attended one which had about 50 or less people.  It was really nice actually.  If you guys would prefer it then go for it!  Just make sure you don't really want the big wedding.  GL and I hope God grants you the wisdom to make a good decision. 

orangehills

Thanks everyone! I feel like I have the most peace about the wedding I originally wanted, but talked myself out of because everyone else was saying there would be so many hurt feelings, and oh, this person really wants to go, and my mom would say- wait, so I can't invite any friends? A day after she would say- have only a few of your friends and no more! (She confused me.) So what I want- where I can have my dream wedding still, and my FI is happy with it, is to have parents, siblings, the wedding party, and 4 of my closest friends and their significant others, and 3 of my FI closest friends. It'd be about 25 people, no more. That is cutting it back from about 80 people. While I would love to celebrate with everyone, money and stress come in to play unfortunately and I just can't cut it!! I know there will be hurt feelings, but I'm hoping they'll be able to understand in time, Sooo here's hoping this all works out....

mrandmrsbrist

As far as family goes, just keep in mind that while parents are an important part of your life and they may want to invite people to celebrate with you that this is your wedding. They'll get over it and in a few years they probably won't even remember that they didn't have their friends there with them.

orangehills

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_prayer-request-47?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:673b0585-8b99-4faa-ac72-7e9b83779841Post:990c5cdc-92a2-4485-813e-fff457d8ee76">Re: prayer request</a>:
[QUOTE]As far as family goes, just keep in mind that while parents are an important part of your life and they may want to invite people to celebrate with you that this is your wedding. They'll get over it and in a few years they probably won't even remember that they didn't have their friends there with them.
Posted by mrandmrsbrist[/QUOTE]

Well, my mom is paying for it all.. blah. So I'll probably compromise on this one. It is looking like it will be just immediate family and wedding party, which is what FI wants. I'm getting used to the idea and am ok with it! We'll still have awesome pictures to show everyone, and I'm just going to do a girls day with all my girl friends to celebrate. It works! :)