Pennsylvania-Philadelphia

Um, NO!!! rsvp rant

Is there a reason people seem to think that their 19, 20 year old children, who (on the invite is only invited as themselves-- NO GUEST) seem to think that they are entitled to bring a guest to our wedding?  I mean, maybe ettiquette-wise, if you are a certain age you should be invited with a guest but we don't want your random hook up at our wedding.  We'd much rather have our friends (that we both know) than your flavor of the week that we've NEVER even heard of!  AND while we're at it, stop asking your mom---and AUNTS stop asking other aunts if we would mind if your children brought boyfriends/girlfriends.  Ask us.  We will tell you, NO!!!! Oh, and ps....just because you KNOW that someone else in your family isn't going to be coming to the wedding it does not mean that you can substitute their place with your guest.   Honestly.  Our wedding is really important to us but I can't imagine that it's going to be so amazing that people will be lying/forging rsvps to get in (true story just told to me by my FSIL---FI will be making some phone calls this week)  UGH!!Vent over! 

Re: Um, NO!!! rsvp rant

  • edited December 2011
    Wow, you had your invites out early if you are getting married November 27th and have already started to receive your RSVP cards. We told everyone no kids and sure enough up until the invites were out, it was assumed people could bring their kids. Finally we just had to break etiquette and put "Adults Only Please" on the RSVP card. Gasp, I know, but we had no choice. We thought this was easier than making 50 phone calls. I've had some people say my BF/GF can't come, can I bring someone else (aka a friend). My FI and I have just decided at this point we just don't care. All we care about is people have a good time and eat and drink the bar dry!!
  • edited December 2011
    We did send out invites a bit early since it's a holiday weekend and to be honest, I was tired of seeing them in our apartment. :)  And yeah, we also did the "Adults only reception"  on the rsvp card as well... I don't care if it's breaking ettiquette, people don't listen or pay attention.  :)
  • Stacylynn702Stacylynn702 member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm def not inviting guests, nor will allow guests for anyone under 21.  I don't think people realize how expensive weddings are...even for those who won't be consuming alcohol, it's still pricey!  I'm having trouble figuring out who I should include "and guest" for on my list.  I need an approximate headcount by the end of the month and have no idea who should be able to bring a guest.  I'll write my own post instead of taking up space on yours.Just remember, it's YOUR wedding and YOUR day.  People should understand and be courteous enough to respect YOUR wishes.  GOOD LUCK with this!
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  • CaitC21CaitC21 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We are also going to be breaking the "adults only reception rule" go us!If people didn't go and assume I wouldn't go breaking "rules"
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  • edited December 2011
    we did adults only on the invite...excerpts from my two favorite emails:"Can we bring our 4 year old?  She's really well-behaved.""Can we bring our 9 month old baby?"First email came before rsvp'ing and 2nd was AFTER they already rsvp'd.  effing horrible! 
  • CaitC21CaitC21 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    jewels- Those made me laugh... I don't care if the 4year old is as good as gold, if we invite yours we have to invite everyones.  Why do people not get this?   And really your 9month old, because there is absolutley no chance of disrubting something...right...   Gotta love people
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  • edited December 2011
    Oh, I know Cait.... that's exactly what we wrote back in the email.  Oh, so nicely =)  Luckily, no one asked me this in person for else I would have went off the deep end.  They probably would have locked me up.
  • edited December 2011
    That's so frustrating.  My wedding isn't until May and my whole family keeps talking about how it's going to be the first time we'll see my cousin's baby (who will be 5 months old).  They live in CA.  I was like what!  My mom is going to call my aunt and say they can't have the baby at the reception but we'd be happy to get a baby sitter for them.
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  • tracyd21tracyd21 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    This was definitely the most frustrating part of the wedding for us. My H's cousin mentioned something in passing about how great it will be for all 4 of his INSANE kids to play with their cousins at the reception. He mentioned this just after we had to pull his daughter from where she was dangling at the top of the steps, and their youngest son was thrown down the steps by their oldest son. Um, can you say chaos?! DH calls them the X-Men, because he thinks they are mutants! We invited our nieces and nephews, but they were in the wedding. No other kids were there. We had to have his mom break the news.
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  • jessica0602jessica0602 member
    Eighth Anniversary 500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    people are unbelievable.  i hope this all calms down for you!
  • edited December 2011
    I completely understand how you feel about guests...we are getting married on new years eve so I understand people wanting to bring boyfriends/girlfriends to the wedding, but our friends all were giving us a hard time about not inviting them with guests.  Sorry, but I don't want to pay $100 for you to bring someone random that we don't know and that you had to scramble to find so that you would have a date at our wedding.We decided if anyone called and said they were seeing somene that they really wanted to bring that we would be flexible, but I think PP is right - people don't realize how expensive this crap is! grr
  • matthew24matthew24 member
    Fifth Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    This happened to me as well. My crazy aunt took it upon herself to invite my mom's half-brother (who we haven't seen in 15 years) 4 kids, with their baby mommas and their kids- umm..........and all these people I have never met before. Yah, people are unbelievable and have an entitlement issue. Just hang in there it only gets worse before it gets better :)
  • edited December 2011
    Oh, and ps....just because you KNOW that someone else in your family isn't going to be coming to the wedding it does not mean that you can substitute their place with your guest. Honestly. Our wedding is really important to us but I can't imagine that it's going to be so amazing that people will be lying/forging rsvps to get in (true story just told to me by my FSIL---FI will be making some phone calls this week)My FMIL suggested substituting someone getting a date because other family members weren't coming....um no. Our rule with cousins was you had to be engaged or over the age of 25 to get a date because it was more important for us to have friends we are actually close with bring dates we actually know.
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