I'm losing my mind! Friday vs Saturday!

meekybat

Ok here it goes....
Our budget is difficult because we're getting very little money from my parents and so far his parents have offered nothing (but his sister got 18k for her wedding) .

His Mother is freaking out at the idea of us getting married on a Friday to save money (she's itallian) but hasn't offered any help.  The hall we like (Grand Baccus) only has a small handful of Fridays left and 1 saturday that falls on the August civic holiday. We're open to other locations too but so far haven't found anything with that value.

My Mother is pushing for Friday to save money (we're dutch).  It's turned into me having massive anxiety and seriously freaking out.  I really don't know what to do because we don't really even know for sure what we want.... I need some advice before I actually loose my mind.

meghasaurus

Everything I've read in these forums says that whomever is paying gets a say in how that money is spent. If you guys prefer a Friday night, then you should do what you like/works for you.
Good luck, Mums can be tough to convince.

souptin

Thank them for there input but remind them you are going to make the decision that is best suited to you and FI.

Angelface225

I'm also choosing a Friday, to save money AND so I have another honeymoon day before going back to work! As long as your ceremony starts late enough that people can make it from work (6:00 or 6:30 start for mine) I really don't think it's a big deal. People will also complain about a holiday weekend, so you can't really win.... Good luck!

estimi

At the end of your day it's your call, it's probably something that your fiancee should discuss with his mom. It's easier that way.

I noticed you're looking at summer, how about off peak season? That would enable you to get a Saturday wedding I think. Just a suggestion. 

naomikb

People who put money in get a say. You have to come to an agreement that everyone is okay with.

You don't get to ask your FI's parents for money.  And just because his sister got $18k doesn't mean you will -- in many cases the parents give money to weddings of their daughters but not sons since "traditionally" the bride's family pays for the majority of the wedding and some parents choose to carry on that custom.

First: figure out who is contributing and how much.  Second: figure out how you want that money to be distributed.  Maybe you want to do it on a Friday but have a deluxe bar and steak, but your ILs want to do it on a Saturday with buffet lasagne.  Then you get to negotiate and see how the money all shakes out.  But do that BEFORE you start putting deposits on venues!

Also, it's getting pretty late in the year to book Saturday weddings for next summer for popular venues.  If you want a certain date you may have to go to a venue that is further away or less popular.

meekybat

Thanks so much to everyone for your input!! My fiancee spoke with his parents and they do intend to pay for half of everything which we're very greatful for and his Mother did some thinking about it and realized everyone who is really important to us will have no problem attending on a Friday so we're booking our hall for the Friday!

mattycam

We had a Friday wedding and I would say 90% of our guests were able to attend our ceremony. We were surprised because we thought most people would be at the reception. As mentioned already, those who want to be at your wedding will be there.

Jewel224

I second Mattycam's post - I just had my wedding this past Friday and we saved about 5K by having it on a Friday and in off season.  We expected around 150 people and we had about 130 show - and it was mostly out of town guests that couldn't make it.  People will be there if they want to be there, regardless of whether it is on a Friday or a Saturday. 

Your MIL will get over it...the other reason we and our guests enjoyed it was because you still had your weekend.  Our wedding started at 5:30PM - with enough time for a cocktail hour before dinner.

You have to do what's best for you and your budget, as well as the budget of those who are contributing to your wedding. I do agree with Naomi, that before you put any deposits down that you discuss your wedding vision with whomever is contributing money.  That way there will be little surprise or disagreement when decisions need to be made and less stress for you.