HELP!! 3 Moms - trying to figure out what to do with the Unity Candle!!

I really want my step-mom, who is more like a mom to me than my real mom, my mom and my mother-in-law to light the unity candle - but 3 people cant do it.  My real mom has been causing a lot of drama and is trying to make this not fun for me anymore; its has gotten to the point where I dont know if I should still invite her - just because the comments she has said and her attitude.

I dont want to give in and give my real mom the opportunity and say 'there, you got your way" but this is getting really hard on me! 

How do I include 3 moms in the ceremony??  ANY advice is welcome - I am stuck!

Re: HELP!! 3 Moms - trying to figure out what to do with the Unity Candle!!

  • hell0238hell0238 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I have never heard of mothers lighting the unity candle. Isn't it a symbol of the groom and bride joining their lives together and becoming one? They light it together, with the two taper candles. I guess you could buy one pillar candle and as many tapers as you want for each mother and you, or you and the groom + 3 mothers, or whoever is lighting it. I don't know what you can do about displaying them in a stand, since most are built for two on either side. Maybe they could hold onto them? Or you could search for taper holders that are all separate and buy as many as needed. I bought my candles separately from a craft store, (they don't have to be in a kit with just three and all the ribbons and pearls and writing on them), so that's my suggestion. Dealing with family is one of the hardest part of wedding planning. Good luck. You'll figure it out.
  • Rach17sRach17s member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Im sorry - yes, youre right, the brie and groom light the unity candle but I was meaning the tapers... who do I choose to light the tapers since there are 2 and my real mom is giving me heck about it!?!?  Thank you for your advice!  I hope it all comes together!
  • atrader29atrader29 member
    Fifth Anniversary 10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I ran into the same thing. I made a memorial candle and put it on the table with the unity candle. My step-mom lit that at the same time the other 2 moms lit the tapers.
  • Rach17sRach17s member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    THAT is a GREAT idea!!  Thank you so much for your opinion! :)
  • edited December 2011
    kinda sorta in the same situation except no figting i get wha i want within reason and my maternal granparents who raised me and my mom (i do call both momm) are working great to raise me and my soon to be mother inalaw and her mom aare causing the issues but i just told them that they dont have a say they arent paying so they can shut up and deal with it, and that if they dont like it they cant come to my wedding, but i have a huricane personality when i want something i dont let anything stand in my way and i hit all issues good or bad head on with usually the leap then look attitude. and then wehn i get really upset or streesed i remember this is my wedding and adams wedding no one elses
    we are giving each of the moms a flower at the ceromony and adam going to escort each mom to her seat also we are puting a special thank yo on the bulliton to our moms and makeing them each a hand made card of thanks that is personalized to each mom becaus of issue in our live involving my fiance thisyear my family stepped up and helped him personall and supported him not his mom
  • kirieli923kirieli923 member
    Eighth Anniversary 10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I was thinking that I wanted to involve both my parents in the candle lighting, so I may be going totally against tradition but...

    I'm thinking of having a taper for each parent that they would then use together to light our candles.  So, my mother and father would each have a candle and would combine their flames to light my candle. 

    Seems like you could do something similar.  Giving each mother a candle or match and let them light it together?  If they gripe about having to light a candle together, remind them that it is because you love them both and on your special day, you'd love to receive such a gesture from both of them.
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