Delayed HM: Thumbs up or down?

coppercoin123

Just a pratical tip...  becareful about buying flight tickets in advanced if you delay your HM and change your last name.  The airlines are getting even tighter with security.  You may have problems if your ticket is in you maiden name and your id/passport is your married name.  

Emstarme

Who cares? Does it matter if luna disagrees with you? Do what you want whether you consider it to be a vacation or a HM? Will it be better or worse if it is or isn't a HM? You will still go away together and have fun; I don't think a label should matter.

jenn_t784

FI and I might wait a few days to go on honeymoon but we don't want to wait too long because the more you wait the less likely you would go. If you know your in school then why set a date during school...I would just set a date during vacation so you don't miss anything and can enjoy your wedding and honeymoon. Everyone is entitled to to their opinion but I don't think its very friendly to say you laugh at brides who chose to have their honeymoon later. Some people get so wrapped up in wedding planning that they forget their honeymoon and end up not having enough money for the honeymoonn so it would be best to wait. In the end its you and your FI's choice on how you want to work the honeymoon. If you're happy with that decision, more power to you!

tkalbarczyk

We are getting married in june next year and going on our honeymoon in november. We wanted to go on a cruise for our honeymoon and we got an amazing deal on this cruise. We are also on a tight budget so we will be waiting 5 months to go on our honeymoon because we couldnt pass up the amount of money we saved. But since our wedding is only a few days away from the forth of july weekend we will be going on a minimoon a week after our wedding. Heading up north to have some fun and be with eachother for the holiday weekend.

anwallette

I am a teacher...who is getting married in October, which means that my honeymoon will not be able to take place until next summer. It's your wedding - do what works best with you!

9Sunshine

Also doing a delayed HM because we're teachers. We're getting married in April (off season in New England) and we're taking a day or two off after the wedding to go sleep off the exhaustion of the wedding. Our real honeymoon will be in mid-June.Whatever you decide to do... enjoy!

ErinnW.

I have to say that my FI and I are going to go on our honeymoon right after the wedding, or at least we are leaving on the Monday after our Saturday wedding. However, in response to Lunabeagle, what you are saying doesn't make sense. A honeymoon, no matter when it is taken is still a honeymoon. That is why there are second and third and even fourth honeymoons. Your right, it's just a really great vacation, a great vacation with your honey! No matter when you take it.

BelhurstBride

Again, there is no rule dictating the time limit for a honeymoon. You and your know-it-all FI can feel otherwise, but that first chance a couple can get away for a vacation together can be called a honeymoon, regardless of when it takes place. I really don't know what makes you think that you have the right to make up these rules and tell people they're not taking honeymoons.

LunaBeagle

I'm not saying I know everything. People can take their so called "honeymoons" whenever they want. But, it's just simply not a honeymoon if it's several months after the wedding. I really don't care who takes a honeymoon or not, I'm just saying after you've been married for several months and living the married life and decide to go on a vacation that's what it is a VACATION! Of course it'll still be a romantic getaway with your new DH and it'll be absolutely amazing, but it's not a honeymoon because you've already been living the married life for a couple months and are then just going on a great vacation.

jewls261521

Yeah I'm with you, Belhurst. It's rather obnoxious to sit there and tell people that they're not going on honeymoons just because they're not going right after the wedding. It's like I said before. What do you think a honeymoon is? A VACATION. Doesn't matter when you take it. Give it a rest.

megz796

so let's take it another step further...i guess bc i've lived with my FI for two years now, u're gonna tell me i'm not gonna be able to enjoy married life the right way, correct??  luna...u can have ur own beliefs but there is absolutely no reason to force them on everyone else...i'm not going back to work right after the wedding, neither is FI,  and we are going on a small honeymoon the monday after our saturday wedding...we are just taking "a second" honeymoon in jan, which is already booked and paid for mind u, bc we can take more time off then, and afford more at that time...so therefore it is a honemyoon is my eyes, and apparently most of the eyes on this board...so seriously, check ur facts before u start talking...i dont believe any of us here rushed into the wedding, i know i sure as hell didn't...but we did what was right for us, what we wanted to do..and honestly, that's all that matters at this point..not u or ur know-it-all fiance...

BelhurstBride

Eh, she's not worth arguing with. Clearly she'd rather sit back and judge others based on her arbitrary rules.

RoxyCleopatra

Hello all!  Just wanted to put in my opinion on this "touchy" subject...Definitely agree with Luna on this one for sure!  You have your wedding and all the bliss that goes along with it...No way I will be going back to work and to the "real world" until I have our honeymoon, thats for sure!  You have your amazing dream wedding and its everything we all have hoped for and to just go back to work, is not good...Now it is understood, as Im sure Luna sees it, that not everyone can just go right on the honeymoon right after the wedding and that is perfectly fine...Personally, I think it should all be planned ahead of time, plan your wedding when you will be able to take wedding and honeymoon together, not to do wedding when its convenient, and then because of "busy work" you can't have a honeymoon, we do all this planning for the wedding of our dreams, why isnt this included in it?Now for the people who didn't plan and can't take the honeymoon right after the wedding or within a month of the wedding...absolutely take your trip to celebrate your marriage when it may be more convenient...6 months or more down the road...but honestly, its not a honeymoon at all at that point!  its a celebration of your marriage, or just simply a tripHope I didn't come across as an "arbitrator" or anything, just wanted to share my opinion about the original post and comments about others...delayed trip after wedding? yes absolutely, delayed honeymoon? no such thing, it is not considered a honeymoon at that point...its a celebration

catbarnes09

We were planning a minimoon only because FI has been laid off since May (wedding date Oct 9), but with strong urging from friends, have added an extra 5 days on for a full week. Friends said if they had waited for money situation to be better they would still not have gone after 3 years. This still won't be our dream vacation, but at least some much needed us time right after.

LunaBeagle

Thanks for the assumptions Megz, but FI and I have also lived together for a little over a year now. Yes, as you're saying you're taking a honeymoon right after your wedding, but your trip a few months later is that JUST A TRIP! Will it be amazing and romantic? Of course it will, but you've already had your wedding and honeymoon, at the time of your second trip it'll just be another great romantic vacation for you and your new DH. I'm not pushing beliefs on anyone, it's just a simple fact that the honeymoon is a trip you take after your wedding before jumping back into your daily routines. I'm not telling people "you can't go on a trip ever because you didn't take a honeymoon!" All I'm saying is go on your trip when you can and enjoy it! It'll be hands down amazing, but if it's more than a month after your wedding it's just no longer a honeymoon.

daydreamwanderer

wow, brides get all bent outta shape over the silliest things. semantics... Vanessa, we're considering the same thing. He's a teacher, and while we don't want to let the school schedule dictate something as big as our wedding (and anniversary for years to come! may not ALWAYS be a teacher, after all!) date, the lack of personal days DOES somewhat dictate the possibility of a HM immediately after the wedding. We've talked to several couples who have gone six months or a year after the wedding, and been really thrilled - we come from a more conservative religious community, and for a lot of our friends, they've voiced that they were able to enjoy the full romance of the time together more after having been together longer, if that makes sense. I guess it's important to consider what you want to get out of your HM, and when those things will be most valuable to you - are you the kind of couple who's going to get a cushy room with the biggest bed, the jacuzzi tub, the fireplace and the room service? Because all that lovin' might be great when you need to relax after the wedding. Or are you the kind of couple who's going to scale a mountain together and share a sleeping bag by night? Because that might just be exhausting after the whole wedding ordeal. Are you more introverted (thus needing just good ol' down time after a HUGE party) or extroverted (thus coming away from the reception with energy to light a city)? We're leaning towards a minimoon for just 2 nights, more of a crash landing, really, at a B&B about five miles from our reception site (shhh don't tell anyone, haha) and then a flight home Monday night, back to work Tuesday, and then a real trip/HM (semantics.... seriously!) during one of the regularly scheduled school holidays in the next 15 months after the wedding. And yes, we'll milk that for any HM extras we can get.

schumakr

Alright luna...how about this. We're getting married in minnesota in june, and are planning to go to our lake cabin for a week right after. Then we are going on a trip in January somewhere warm for a week or so. Which should I call our HM? In my opinion, both...I'm sure you have an opinion, right?Also roxy, what is a honeymoon if its not a celebration of the marriage? I guess I would think that the girls taking delayed HMs would still be celebrating their marriage, right? Just wondering.

RoxyCleopatra

Well Schumakr, I will say in response to your question to Luna, the first trip you are going on to that cabin, would be your honeymoon...the trip you are taking in January would be a vacation....And in answering the question you had for me, I will say that absolutely a honeymoon is a celebration of your marriage, but if you have to wait for more than a month to go on any sort of getaway for your honeymoon after your wedding it is not considered a honeymoon, because when you get married you have all the feelings of the wedding and being with family and friends and all the bliss of the happy moment of being married and then to just have to go back home and go to work and wait to go on your trip is not considered a honeymoon.  Many people consider it a honeymoon but it really shouldnt be called that its just a great vacation and celebrating your time together.  I understand that not everyone can take the big trip right after the wedding and that is perfectly fine, just don't call it a honeymoon and instead say this is our vacation together 6 months after our wedding!

zora51

Luna, you are WRONG, by definition.(answers.com)A honeymoon is the traditional holiday taken by newlyweds (or between two people in an early harmonious period in a relationship) to celebrate their marriage in intimacy and seclusion.(merriam-webster dict) honeymoon:3 : a trip or vacation taken by a newly married couple(wikipedia)A honeymoon is the traditional holiday taken by newlyweds (or between two people in an early harmonious period in a relationship) to celebrate their marriage in intimacy and seclusion.These are all legitimate definitions of the a "honeymoon". Do any of these limit it to ONLY a few weeks following the wedding ceremony? I don't think so. Do you research before you go throwing out "facts". Oh, and before you even start arguing this, most dictionaries state that a newlywed is: 'a person recently married'. I suppose you might argue RECENT is a month. RECENT could mean a year. So don't dare tell a girl 'it's not a honeymoon'. To her, recent may be a year. I know to someone married 50 years, less than a year sure is! So since the definitions are vague in that area, you really cannot try to argue otherwise.

schumakr

Ok Roxy, try this one on for size: Say there was a couple who had a shoestring wedding, who can't afford to go on a nice honeymoon right away because they have to go back to work just to make ends meet. A few months later, their parents are finally able to give them some money so they can stay in a nice hotel to get away to celebrate their marriage for a few days.Now, this senario is fake. But tell me, would you make these two feel bad about the honeymoon they are able to get by telling them that they don't really get a honeymoon? I really hope not. I'm glad you and luna are doing nice traditional honeymoons; but you are no one to tell any other couple how to conduct one of  the most special occations of their lives. Please just let it go.

RoxyCleopatra

Zora...wow very impressive! I have to admit spending all that time searching for the 3 "dictionary" sites to show us what you think is right. Getting all worked up over these "Knottie" posts, real important.... If you just took a few seconds to read the post put up by myself and Luna you would see that we are not telling anyone not to take a honeymoon or they arent taking a real honeymoon/trip, etc...whatever, we are giving our opinions and saying,  1) plan ahead so you can take time off from work and take your honeymoon right away 2) if you don't or for money reasons you cant, feel free to take your trip 3-6 months or 3 years later...but don't label it your honeymoon, because as its always been with tradition and even as your "dictionary" definitions say, its a early harmonious period, right after your wedding so you continue that love and bliss period without killing it and going back to the stresses of everyday life and work that we all know of....Just to clear things up for Zora...for all you people who can't take your honeymoon right after the wedding, please take the trip when you can, to us and many many people, its not the same as a honeymoon right after the wedding...Thats for Zora, the Internet researcher, hope that clears things up for you and you won't be so upset the next time you read a knot post

LunaBeagle

Wow hats off to Zora for her highly impressive research skills of copying and pasting with snarky emphasis. I love how thick headed some of the brides are on here if they don't hear what they want to hear about their situation. Sorry, we don't all sugar coat our responses so that everyone loves us. This is an online community where we give anonymous advice and/or opinions. This thread has turned into an opinion thread. For the umpteenth time, all I'm saying and it looks like Roxy agrees with me is that a honeymoon should take place after your wedding. You need a time to escape from your daily routines and spend time away from the rest of the world with your new DH. If you can't because of work schedules, then you should have thought about that when planning your wedding. As for the teachers out there getting married in October or some other random month.. well that's your fault. Teachers are given more vacation time then they know what to do with between Christmas break, random vacations in Feb and/or April, and let's not even get started on how you have summers off. As a teacher you CHOSE to have your wedding in the middle of the school year. As for the people who can't afford a honeymoon right after their wedding that's completely understandable. FI and I chose to wait and to plan and save accordingly so we could do everything together and not postpone anything. You get one chance to have your dream wedding and honeymoon, do it right. I understand not everyone is able to pull off everything all at once financially. When people ask what you're doing you simply say, "We couldn't afford to go on our honeymoon, but we're saving up to go on a great trip a little farther down the road, and we're really looking forward to it". There's nothing wrong with that. Schumaker: Your lake cabin trip right after the wedding is your honeymoon. The next trip, although it may be bigger and more expensive, is just another trip with you and your new DH. Will you guys celebrate your marriage again and have an amazingly romantic trip? OF COURSE YOU WILL! But you had your honeymoon, this is just another amazing trip that will hopefully be the first of many that you will take as a married couple. Enjoy your trips people, who cares where or when you take them, but if it's not after the wedding and you have to hold off for whatever reason, it's just no longer a "honeymoon". When people think of honeymooners you think of people fresh off their wedding, not people who have gone back home and back to work for several months and have gotten into the swing of things.

zora51

Roxy.. you contradict yourself. I *DID* read all the replies, carefully. You, so it seems, did not. "If you just took a few seconds to read the post put up by myself and Luna you would see that we are not telling anyone not to take a honeymoon or they arent taking a real honeymoon/trip, etc...whatever, we are giving our opinions and saying, 1) plan ahead so you can take time off from work and take your honeymoon right away 2) if you don't or for money reasons you cant, feel free to take your trip 3-6 months or 3 years later...but don't label it your honeymoon."Ohhh.... you make perfect sense here. Perfect. You're not telling them they're not taking a honeymoon, BUT, they aren't supposed to labet it a honeymoon. Yeah. Right.Luna:"When people think of honeymooners you think of people fresh off their wedding, not people who have gone back home and back to work for several months and have gotten into the swing of things.""When people think..." I'm glad you can speak for everyone. Because as this thread shows, QUITE a few women seem to think differently than you have so stated. Perhaps I'll clear this up with a poll, just for you, darling.

RoxyCleopatra

Oh no! OUCH!! hitting people where it hurts, THE KNOT NAME! I love using the knot boards because of reasons like you...getting so worked up and all upset about an Internet wedding board!  Where the heck do you come off even stepping in to this post?? Where are your comments about the delayed honeymoon...i didn't see a thumbs up or thumbs down from you...but that's right, we don't really care what your opinion is anyways...your just coming on here to take personal shots at people and by making fun of the knot name!  Seems like someone couldn't have a good honeymoon for themselves, so they get worked up when someone else talks about an amazing honeymoon they are going on...To take a tip from you...Ms Nobody, the name fits perfectly, i dont even need to make fun of your name!

SuMmErKuTiE

Ms. Nobody! I sure have missed you my dearie. I am so glad I decided to watch this post and all the other drama that has ensued. To correct you, as I recall MONTHS AGO, you and your whole board tried to flame me when I simply BY ACCIDENT stated what FI and I were doing for our wedding and HM and I was very new to the boards and had no idea that talking money was so faux pas. I know that now and have not made that mistake since. You obviously are still thinking about it and have not gotten over it. But in order to do that, you will have to get over yourself. I hang out on the HM boards a lot, and in my opinion give good advice when people ask questions about places I have previously visited. Unlike you NOBODY I don't come on here to trash people and use childesh names to bring them down. I never EVER said you had to spend that much and go to Fiji to have a real HM. I would have been perfectly happy to hole myself away with FI right here in town. But we were able to save up and are taking the HM of our dreams. Dear lordy, I have to ask why the heck you called me a moondoggie? I don't even have a doggie. Is that one of your many alter egos or just another uncreative childesh name? If I was still in elementary school I think those nick names would have still been funny, but I grew up and have some manners. You should do the same. Caio! :0) 

ms nobody

i lolerskate all up and down TK, on account of how it's a public website. obviously my mocking luna and summer mean i dont agree with them- implying the OP should do what's best for her... i'm sorry. i should've spelled that out for you to begin with.

RoxyCleopatra

You don't need to spell it out, I know what I read and it looks like Summer was giving her opinion about the original post, she said, do whatever you want and what works for you...Again, looks like your just on here taking personal shots at Summer...someone who gets you worked up, yet its over the Internet, definitely something that matters

brandinblake

first of all, WOW!!! Second of all...who cares what you call it, call it a romantic getaway, a vacation, a much needed im not getting out of bed and we are getting pampered and keeping all the adjoining rooms awake all hours of the night just because we can trip...take the time you have together to get away whenever you have it. My Fi and i talked about the traditional right after the wedding honeymoon, and then shortly after we got engaged found out we were pregnant. I dont want to go on an extravagant trip pregnant where i cant drink and i may be sick and yada yada so we are gonna wait until next summer and take a honeymoon/vacation since we know we will need a vacay shortly after the baby is born. This being said, we are spending a night in a B&B just b/c we dont want to go right back to our apartment with his parents who are in from out of town to spend our wedding night. But dont worry about what it's called, and you can call it what you want...no one no matter how set they are in their traditions can make that decision for you...but take your trip when you get the chance you'll enjoy it all the same..maybe even more with out the stress of grad school hanging over your head

brandinblake

oh and to add on top of that...just so we are clear, my FI did save and plan accordingly, we could have taken the honeymoon right away if we wanted and could have afforded it and taken the time off work and everything else that has been used as an excuse, but sometimes things happen and we didnt want to not enjoy our honeymoon and that is why after we found out we were pregnant we decided to postpone the trip. Also, planning a wedding on a day that may be a significant day for you, say in oct, but isnt during a convient off time...even if you are a teacher or student or whatever..is your decision. We all pick our wedding days based on what that day represents. some do it on the anniversary of the day they met, or their first date or whatever, butleave those decisions up to the person deciding on it and dont judge them and tell them they should have planned accordingly. i think everyone needs to stop attacking everyone else, we all plan differently and we all think differently and every bride is entitled to do as she pleases becasue it is very much specific to what each individual bride has in mind for what they want

jesbar11

We're going to have a nice weekend away right afterwards so we can relax and recover, but are going to wait on our real, week-long honeymoon until later for financial reasons - plus, I want to be relaxed enough to enjoy it, not so exhausted after the wedding that I sleep through it! :)I think you'll appreciate it more if you wait - imagine if you're sitting on the beach thinking of all the research you have to do and the papers you have to write, you won't be able to relax completely. Wait til you've got more time and then you'll really be able to celebrate!!