Poll: Honeymoon Registry

Knot Annie

Are you having one?

megandjay

I think they are dishonest and misleading to your guests because the guests think they are actually buying you something (ie. a romantic dinner for two, or snorkeling lessons, etc). When in reality the website just cuts the couple a check and many couples use the money for other purposes.

naomikb

Annie - I think you should also put another poll to follow this: "Would you buy something off a friend or family member's honeymoon registry?"

Although I wouldn't have one myself, I can see why some people choose to and in some cases I would participate in the buying.  However, it seems like a lot of people who make HM registries have very little "success" and get mostly cash or gifts anyways.

Biotechick620

HM registries really make me cringe because of their fees.  I want 100% of the money gift to go to the newlyweds, not +7% to some company for doing nothing but collecting money from guests.  I'm not doing one nor do I suggest anyone else doing one.

belletop

I think they are fine.  Not having one but don't mind buying from them for someone else.

jemmini6

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_poll-honeymoon-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:121e1ea1-646e-4ca5-9569-4464808826eaPost:2dba5e11-8bf2-45b7-8a78-0d1a6d75719a">Re: Poll: Honeymoon Registry</a>:
[QUOTE]HM registries really make me cringe because of their fees.  I want 100% of the money gift to go to the newlyweds, not +7% to some company for doing nothing but collecting money from guests.  I'm not doing one nor do I suggest anyone else doing one.
Posted by Biotechick620[/QUOTE]

Honeyfund.com does not charge fees.  I think they are the only one though.

MNVegas

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_poll-honeymoon-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:11Discussion:121e1ea1-646e-4ca5-9569-4464808826eaPost:c5ff702f-c812-4dc5-af8a-8f1551748ee3">Re: Poll: Honeymoon Registry</a>:
[QUOTE]I think they are dishonest and misleading to your guests because the guests think they are actually buying you something (ie. a romantic dinner for two, or snorkeling lessons, etc). When in reality the website just cuts the couple a check and many couples use the money for other purposes.
Posted by megandjay[/QUOTE]

This is exactly how I feel about HM registries. Knowing how HM registries work, I would never purchase a "gift" from one.  If I want to give someone cash, I will just give it to them directly instead of participating in a sham.

reese511

HMR's are AWESOME!

kaesha

I hate them, but I dislike traditional registries too.

kimp67

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_poll-honeymoon-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:11Discussion:121e1ea1-646e-4ca5-9569-4464808826eaPost:c5ff702f-c812-4dc5-af8a-8f1551748ee3">Re: Poll: Honeymoon Registry</a>:
[QUOTE]I think they are dishonest and misleading to your guests because the guests think they are actually buying you something (ie. a romantic dinner for two, or snorkeling lessons, etc). When in reality the website just cuts the couple a check and many couples use the money for other purposes.
Posted by megandjay[/QUOTE]

Ditto this

golden1215

Didn't do one for myself but like PP said I might buy a friend something off honeyfund since they dont charge fees.

strlzfan11

Honeyfund doesn't charge you a fee when they cut you a check, and if they only cut one or two checks how can you pay for your honeymoon with that money when the honeymoon has to be paid in full long before your wedding (providing that you take your honeymoon immediately after the wedding).  Honeyfund does charge you a fee if you choose to receive your funds via Paypal, so the claim that Honeyfund is free is false.

The only way I would ever get on board with a honeymoon registry is if the registry provider ACTUALLY booked the purchased activities for the recipient and didn't charge an additional fee to the person purchasing said item.

lahottie86

I like the idea because of a few reasons. #1 we already live together so we don't need alot of house things. #2 we don't have money to go on a honeymoon without help.  #3 we don't plan on going on a honeymoon until a couple months later because of work. #4 its an easy way for someone that is not able to come to the wedding still feel like they are apart of it.

 And if for some reason we don't use it for the honeymoon it would be for something important like our car broke down and cant afford it. i don't know i just personally feel like i would not mind if the money i gave someone went to a honeymoon as long as they used it for something important  

July032011

Some travel agents don't charge a few either! Love the idea of a poll for this! 

lyndausvi

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_poll-honeymoon-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:121e1ea1-646e-4ca5-9569-4464808826eaPost:817952e9-3b8f-472a-95ee-eb654d21fd59">Re: Poll: Honeymoon Registry</a>:
[QUOTE]I like the idea because of a few reasons. #1 we already live together so we don't need alot of house things. #2 we don't have money to go on a honeymoon without help.  #3 we don't plan on going on a honeymoon until a couple months later because of work. #4<strong> its an easy way for someone that is not able to come to the wedding still feel like they are apart of it. </strong> And if for some reason we don't use it for the honeymoon it would be for something important like our car broke down and cant afford it. i don't know i just personally feel like i would not mind if the money i gave someone went to a honeymoon as long as they used it for something important :) 
Posted by lahottie86[/QUOTE]


What does that even mean?    By your own example I could have given you something off your HMR and then you could have used they money for car repairs.  How does paying for your car repairs makes me feel apart of your wedding?

I was not a fan, but still gave to one.  I bought a $300 helicopter tour for the couple.  Then  they bragged how they picked expensive things like helicopter rides to get more money and they had no intention of using any of the things  as intended.   They must not have gotten word of our gift yet.  I was pissed.  

I  spent my time and money deciding on giving them a nice gift that I had assumed they wanted or why would it be on the registry.     Personally I felt dupped.

tinydancer842

In many areas it is common to give cash as a wedding gift -- so the couple could easily use that towards their honeymoon (or whatever else). Guests know money is appreciated -- they don't need a honeymoon registry as a reminder. 

fallbride1109

We did one and don't regret it one bit.  That being said, I can certainly understand the arguments against them.

emilyinchile

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_poll-honeymoon-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:121e1ea1-646e-4ca5-9569-4464808826eaPost:3a96a99b-7bc2-41ab-a7e2-4829432e1c3c">Re: Poll: Honeymoon Registry</a>:
[QUOTE]We did one and don't regret it one bit.  That being said, I can certainly understand the arguments against them.
Posted by stephiehall[/QUOTE]

Stephie, I'm curious: if you understand the argument against them - which usually boils down to some of your guests may find them offensive because they see the HM registry as asking for money - what made you decide to do one anyway? Genuine question, not trying to pick on you.

fallbride1109

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_poll-honeymoon-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:11Discussion:121e1ea1-646e-4ca5-9569-4464808826eaPost:074eae2f-07eb-4251-86d8-fdc345b4e98d">Re: Poll: Honeymoon Registry</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Poll: Honeymoon Registry : Stephie, I'm curious: if you understand the argument against them - which usually boils down to some of your guests may find them offensive because they see the HM registry as asking for money - what made you decide to do one anyway? Genuine question, not trying to pick on you.
Posted by emilyinchile[/QUOTE]

We had already done ours before I came on TK.  To me, it sounded logical since we were both older (he 35, me 40) and were already combining two households (I owned a home, he owned a condo).  We planned (<u>and paid for</u>) our HM before we ever set up the registry (we used Travelocity and prepaid everything, including excursions).  We thought getting gifts like massages and dinners sounded like fun and something we would enjoy much more than pots and pans we already had.  I also did a traditional registry for my shower.  We never thought of it as asking for cash and we honestly didn't see the difference between guests spending money on a set of king sized sheets or a dinner.   

Now that I see most people do not set up and use a HM registry the way (I believe) they are intended and having heard the arguments that honestly never occurred to me before, I can understand better why people feel the way they do about them.

emilyinchile

Gotcha - thanks for responding

glam70s

We're not having one because my future in-laws are paying for our honeymoon, but I do think they're a good idea if the couple is honest about it. I think as long as nobody is surprised that the couple winds up with cash, it's fine. It gives the guests the opportunity to choose something meaningful (as opposed to cash), and it gives the couple the opportunity to see what each guest would like to see them do with the money.

I'm a big fan of taking photos of you doing the activity that someone purchased for you and including it in the thank you cards. That way everyone knows exactly where the money went.

I HATE the argument that "I don't want to pay for someone's sex-fest!" I'm surprised that hasn't come up yet in this thread - it was a very popular argument a while ago. Believe it or not, not all people think of their honeymoon that way.

Also, to the poster who mentioned that it doesn't make sense because you don't get the money until after you've paid for your honeymoon, of course you would only book the honeymoon you can afford. The registry will most likely not pay for the whole thing anyway, and the registry should only include nice-to-have extras, not basics like flights and hotels.

naomikb

Stephie - you're 40??  Wow, you look 24 in your picture!  Love your hair BTW.

tldh

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_poll-honeymoon-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:11Discussion:121e1ea1-646e-4ca5-9569-4464808826eaPost:cb77617f-41f0-40fc-b5a4-920c0c7d53c8">Re: Poll: Honeymoon Registry</a>:
[QUOTE]I am against honeymoon registries. I understand the arguement, "Well, we live together so we don't need anything," but I think it's silly. DH and I lived together for two years before getting married, and we registered for a bunch of stuff. Upgrades on linens, nicer dishes, cool kitchen gadgets... you can find stuff to register for. So, let's say that what you really want is cash. Fine, then have a small registry and let people know via word of mouth that you guys are saving up for a house/vacation/pony/whatever. Proper etiquette says that you don't ask for money. EVER. That is what a HR is. It's asking for money. It tells your guests that you are buying a fancy dinner in Paris, when in reality, you are getting a check for $100. Sometimes less, since most charge fees. It's dishonest and it's in poor etiquette. AND there are ways to get the cash you really want without lying to your guests or having bad manners. Someone tell me how it's a good idea, again?
Posted by cfaszews25[/QUOTE]

This.  Exactly.

When DH and I moved in together, two Goodwill stores got some seriously nice donations because we had two of everything.  We still found things to upgrade and had a small registry so the "we already have everything" excuse is the flimsiest one out there.

P.S. - why isn't this poll on the registry board?

reese511

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_poll-honeymoon-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:11Discussion:121e1ea1-646e-4ca5-9569-4464808826eaPost:062db8a8-c721-4f56-96fc-3796be277291">Re: Poll: Honeymoon Registry</a>:
[QUOTE]Honeymoon registries are great!  Both FI and myself are avid global travelers, and I can't think of anything more special for a guest to get for us than a fantastic memory of our first globe-trotting adventure as husband and wife. I do understand that many on this board feel otherwise, but I believe this can be rectified in two steps: 1) Set up a smaller normal registry for guests who prefer physical gifts 2) Make your HM registry genuine.  I've spent hours on mine, detailing to the exact restaurant, exact train tickets, flights, hotels, museums, excursions, etc.  I think this not only helps you plan, but adds validity for your guests that this is a well thought out trip. My guests will be getting EXACTLY what they paid for, with NO fees (thanks honeyfund.com!).  To enhance the experience I will be taking pictures with my FI of every guests' donation.  If they purchased a dinner for us in Florence, we will have a waiter take our picture at that restaurant to send with the thank you card. That beats a crockpot in my book anyday!  :)
Posted by laurendoster[/QUOTE]

i totally agree here.  i'm doing the same thing - an amazing memorable honeymoon means so much more to me than extra household things that i dont really need/want (or have room for in my tiny 1BR apartment).

i get why some ppl on TK think they are dishonest - but its not the HMR that is "dishonest" - its the person who uses it.  i personally would NEVER "take the money and run" as some posters say.  i will use the gift for what it was intended for because i consider myself an honest/good person.  and for the people that don't use HMR's correctly...its on their conscience.

NOLAbridealmost

My guests will be getting EXACTLY what they paid for, with NO fees (thanks honeyfund.com!).  To enhance the experience I will be taking pictures with my FI of every guests' donation.  If they purchased a dinner for us in Florence, we will have a waiter take our picture at that restaurant to send with the thank you card.

That is a great idea! As a guest I would much rather give my friends/family members a memorable meal or wonderful experience than a set of steak knives or water goblets or some other "thing."

I completely disagree with posters who think you should upgrade items you already have just for the sake of upgrading (if you want to, fine, but no need to upgrade stuff you already have just for the sake of having a traditional registry).

I went through Hurricane Katrina. I've seen my family and friends lose everything in terms of personal belongings. But what I ended up learning is that stuff is just stuff.  Memories and experiences are what really matter.  I would never be offended that someone would rather I contribute to a memorable honeymoon than buy them more stuff. 

reese511

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_poll-honeymoon-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:11Discussion:121e1ea1-646e-4ca5-9569-4464808826eaPost:9d3c0010-bbcf-4de2-800d-ddb260e3eccf">Re: Poll: Honeymoon Registry</a>:
[QUOTE]My guests will be getting EXACTLY what they paid for, with NO fees (thanks honeyfund.com!).  To enhance the experience I will be taking pictures with my FI of every guests' donation.  If they purchased a dinner for us in Florence, we will have a waiter take our picture at that restaurant to send with the thank you card. That is a great idea! As a guest I would much rather give my friends/family members a memorable meal or wonderful experience than a set of steak knives or water goblets or some other "thing." I completely disagree with posters who think you should upgrade items you already have just for the sake of upgrading (if you want to, fine, but no need to upgrade stuff you already have just for the sake of having a traditional registry). I went through Hurricane Katrina. I've seen my family and friends lose everything in terms of personal belongings. But what I ended up learning is that stuff is just stuff.  Memories and experiences are what really matter.  I would never be offended that someone would rather I contribute to a memorable honeymoon than buy them more stuff. 
Posted by NOLAbridealmost[/QUOTE]

WOW.  now that's really putting all of this into perspective.  well said, NOLA. 

pitty

I am having one.

Proper equitique? This is 2010. Money is perfectly acceptable. I've NEVER bought a gift for a wedding. Always given cash. HF will be a great alternative! I don't consider myself a traditional bride in the least bit anyways.

lahottie86

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_poll-honeymoon-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:11Discussion:121e1ea1-646e-4ca5-9569-4464808826eaPost:d7351af5-e564-47cf-b1d2-0fd829a12181">Re: Poll: Honeymoon Registry</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Poll: Honeymoon Registry : What does that even mean?    By your own example I could have given you something off your HMR and then you could have used they money for car repairs.  How does paying for your car repairs makes me feel apart of your wedding? I was not a fan, but still gave to one.  I bought a $300 helicopter tour for the couple.  Then  they bragged how they picked expensive things like helicopter rides to get more money and they had no intention of using any of the things  as intended.   They must not have gotten word of our gift yet.  I was pissed.   I  spent my time and money deciding on giving them a nice gift that I had assumed they wanted or why would it be on the registry.     Personally I felt dupped.
Posted by lyndausvi[/QUOTE]


i think what your friend did was horrible and i didn't mean it in that since. I would do my best to do exactly what was purchased. all i ment was that i would not mind if emergency's happened and if someone had to choose between their car getting fixed or dinner at a really nice place. then i would hope they got their car fixed. Under no circumstance should someone purposfully pick things out to just take the money. But stuff happens 

mind you this option is coming from a collage student that is living with the FI and we dont have much money. so i t

courtneyandtimothy

I think they are super tacky and crass.  I would definitely never have one, and its offensive whenever I get invited to a wedding and the couple does have one.  

Think about your guests and how they would react before you do a honeymoon registry, most people think its tacky and offensive, and most people give money as a gift anyway, so use that.

courtneyandtimothy

The honeyfund is also crazy tacky.  Town and Country Wedding Magazines would advise against any registries like these.

glam70s

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_poll-honeymoon-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:11Discussion:121e1ea1-646e-4ca5-9569-4464808826eaPost:4f1a86a8-30bf-439c-b15c-3f8d4ad20fcc">Re: Poll: Honeymoon Registry</a>:
[QUOTE]The honeyfund is also crazy tacky.  Town and Country Wedding Magazines would advise against any registries like these.
Posted by courtneyandtimothy[/QUOTE]

This actually made me laugh out loud.. The idea of using Town and Country (or any other magazine, publication, or website) as a guide to how you should plan and execute your wedding is ludicrous..

I tend to think that people who are offended by a honeymoon registry are either living in the past or snobs.. So the mention of Town and Country to me is hilarious..