Poll: Honeymoon Registry

amiF

And by the way, what is the difference if the couple returns all of the gifts purchased for them, and keeps the cash anyway?  If it is your shower, and your registry, you are supposed to pick out what you want and what you need, not what other people want to get you, or what makes them happy.  If you need to wrap something, wrap a box and then put the printout of the gift purchased in the box.  Again, I don't think there is anything deceptive about a registry to pay for activities vs a registry at Bed Bath and Beyond.  And as for fees, you pay taxes, shipping and gift wrap fees for stuff bought online, anyway, so the fees are a wash either way.

wiwicaty

We have a gorgeous HMR and we are soooooooooooo happy!!!!!!! Everyone we know is thrilled and simply in love with the idea... we know all open-minded people :-)

laurendoster

I am so happy there is so much support coming out for the HMR!  This board has been dominated by only one opinion for too long!  Thanks for the feedback everyone!

Ctf02003

I really appreciate your response, I feel the same way. I can't wait to travel as husband and wife, and the activities on our honeymoon registry are things that I've always dreamed of doing, and I know our guests would be excited to help make those dreams happen. 

crogers84

I'm asolutley for the Honeymoon Registry.

We're having a destination wedding and didn't want to burden the guests by having to lug the gifts to the wedding site. Also we live in Yosemite National Park. and move frequently, due to our jobs, so having a lot of items isn't very convienient for our lifestyle. We also really didn't need anything just because of space issues and after living together for five years we already accumulated what we needed. .

We put everything we wanted to do on the website and we have full intentions of doing all of it. Of course there may be things that do get in the way of some said adventures. Like with a Helicopter ride say there's a bad storm the day you had planned the excursion. I'd say be honest with your guests and send thank you cards for their gifts, then start a blog to highlight the honeymoon with photos for your guests.

That might help with those guests who are leary of the feel of giving money but will be able to see they are helping the couple build memories together that will last a lifetime.

Carolyn2012

I support honeymoon registries 100%.  Most traditional registries are composed of things almost entirely for the bride, and the groom doesn't care and will not get to enjoy them.  I think registering for an experience that BOTH of us can enjoy is so much better than just registering for nice stuff for the sake of it.  My fiance and I will be moving across the country a year after our wedding and don't want to have to haul a bunch of stuff that we really don't need.  We would love to be able to take a wonderful trip and indulge ourselves for a change, and a honeymoon registry will allow us to do just that.  

As a guest, I would much rather help a couple have a wonderful trip together and make wonderful memories than give the bride a piece of Le Creuset cookware (note: the groom probably wouldn't even know what Le Creuset makes) just because they feel like it might be nice to have.

peterpanpixiedust

IMO - I think, first, you should poll your close friends and family (people who will be brutally honest).  Ask them what they think.  Polling on here is a start, but we aren't the ones giving you gifts.  If the majority of your friends and family seem ok with it, I say go ahead.  If most say no, then have a small registry and get the word across that you'd like to have an amazing honeymoon and some guests will most likely give cash.  I say majority, because I don't think you'll ever have all your guests agree one way or another, because we all have different opinions.  That's a nice way of saying you can't please everyone. 

Just like everything else... etiquette evolves.  This will take time for people to get used to before it is ever accepted.  So, go with what's acceptable for your guests. 

I agree with the girls who say to set up a regular registry and then a honeymoon registry.  This way, guests can choose.  I for instance, would love to give a couples massage.  I bought from a normal registry for my friend, and everything but one or two gifts were fufilled.  I felt so embarrased as they opened my omelet frying pan.  I wish I could have given something more memorable (but I know they appreciated it). 

BTW,  I love, love, love the idea of taking pics of your HM gifts and putting them in the thank you's. 

peterpanpixiedust

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_poll-honeymoon-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:121e1ea1-646e-4ca5-9569-4464808826eaPost:54148e94-7730-4587-a377-051b423c7c86">Re: Poll: Honeymoon Registry</a>:
[QUOTE]I think they are super tacky and crass.  I would definitely never have one, and its offensive whenever I get invited to a wedding and the couple does have one.   Think about your guests and how they would react before you do a honeymoon registry, <strong>most people</strong> <strong>think its tacky and offensive</strong>, and most people give money as a gift anyway, so use that.
Posted by courtneyandtimothy[/QUOTE]



Most people? I'm not sure how any of us can speak for most people since there are millions of people in this world.  But for fun, I went through and roughly tallied the yes and no's (I say roughly because I tried to not count the double posters, but can't say if I was exact) and more people in this thread either agree with or would support a HMR than disagree with a HMR.

And thank you posters who put the Emily Post link that was in favor.

sweetypie_2728

we are doing a honeymoon registry and have  done good with it. our guests were not charged any extra at all. we paid our honeymoon off and then anything anyone puts on it they write us a check the day after the wedding as to what was put on it. You have to pay it off by a certain time (i think 45 days before you leave) so takes money that you could be spending on other parts of the wedding. your guests are still paying for your honeymoon because the money you put on it would have gone to paying for anything the day of the wedding. just the way i see it. and you dont have to use a website for a HR we went to flight center and they did it no problem

reese511

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_poll-honeymoon-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:11Discussion:121e1ea1-646e-4ca5-9569-4464808826eaPost:3738b3da-4d7e-47d5-be48-9e957f503b06">Re: Poll: Honeymoon Registry</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Poll: Honeymoon Registry : Wow, that is terrible.  I can't even imagine how infuriated I would be if that happened to me. I've considered the idea of a honeymoon registry as me and FI have lived together for a few years and already own a home... but I oblivioiusly didn't realize there were fees associated with the sites hosting them.  Now I likely won't waste my time.
Posted by keri0517[/QUOTE]

FYI...not all HMR charge fees.  as stated in PP, HoneyFund is absolutely free...i think there are a few others too.

kjhawkins27

I am using a honeymoon registry through Sandals but it tell them exactly what its going towards and I don't get any of the money put towards the registry there. Alot of my family likes it better this way because they are giving me a memory and not materialistic items like serverware, china, etc.

afrodisiality

We're doing a HR and I love it. Honeyfund DOES NOT charge you a fee. If you choose to receive PayPal payments, it's paypal you are paying the fee to, not honeyfund.

My FI and I have lived together for years and, as others have mentioned, we don't need a lot of the "traditional" gifts. I am a cancer patient and my young son has autism so affording a wedding, let alone a dream honeymoon, is hard to manage financially. I'm not one who worries about "wedding etiquette". When people ask you what you want, what's wrong with saying, "I want a great honeymoon so just contribute to our HR registry." I don't want a blender or a toilet brush! I want a honeymoon to remember. As for simply getting cash via the HR, there are services that can deliver certain items directly to the location. For instance, if someone orders flowers and champagne to be waiting in the room, the hotel can actually do that.

We're also doing a traditional registry for those who feel they MUST purchase a household item. Honestly, at the end of the day people are going to do what they want with the funds anyway. How many people do a traditional gift registry and return items for either cash or something completely different? Happens all the time. In the end, people should give what they want to give. Once you hand the gift over, it's not worth complaining about.

afrodisiality

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_poll-honeymoon-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:121e1ea1-646e-4ca5-9569-4464808826eaPost:01aee557-579d-4374-a9ba-d7de49629579">Re: Poll: Honeymoon Registry</a>:
[QUOTE]I am using a honeymoon registry through Sandals but it tell them exactly what its going towards and I don't get any of the money put towards the registry there. Alot of my family likes it better this way because they are giving me a memory and not materialistic items like serverware, china, etc.
Posted by kjackson27[/QUOTE]


I like the Sandals registry. Good choice! :-)

rewesson

I agree. I'm going to use one and I would prefer to give this as a gift to one of my friends getting married. I'm sorry I just don't need anymore pots/pans, plates or picture frames. I'm a person for experiences, not things. However, I do think it's important to have a regular registry included for those who don't agree with a HMR.

Vinny&Erica

My fiance and I decided to "live in sin" and move in together before the wedding. We bought a house already and spent the last year getting everything we need for it. There isn't a lot left that we need other than a car. So instead of just asking for money to put toward a car, we figured the honeymoon registry would be a fun way for our guests to help contribute to us getting a car.  The less we spend on the honeymoon, the more we have left for a car right? Some people have mentioned fees?? I know Sandals does not have fees. If a guest put $50 toward our registry, they pay exactly that and we recieve exactly that. Also, if a guest thinks they are buying you a massage or an excursion, then they are.  That money doesn't come to us, it goes on a card we can use once we get to the resort, that we have to use for those items.  I thought it was a great idea...and if it is a fail and we end up getting cash gifts instead then it really doesn't matter. Money is money it all will go toward the new car.  I just thought this way would be funner for guests.

adriacw

I really don't understand all the hate on Honey Moon Registries. If you give them a gift card who says they're going to get something from their registry anyway? The point is to get them a gift, if it is in the form of a donation to something else then your end is covered regardless of how they use it. Would there be this much controversy if the couple asked you to donate to a charity instead? We plan on using a honey moon registry because we already have all the traditional things you would sign up for in a regular registry and couldn't afford to go on a honey moon with out one. I would rather give them my money for them to have a great experience on their honey moon rather then buy them a blender or something that will collect dust in their house and they'll never use. I would rather GET money for an experience like that than to get something I will probably never use.

adriacw

Its not about you. Its about the couple and their needs and desires. It is your GIFT not your contract.

megandjay

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_poll-honeymoon-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:11Discussion:121e1ea1-646e-4ca5-9569-4464808826eaPost:586be658-91ef-4609-8856-bde0e8c38e18">Re: Poll: Honeymoon Registry</a>:
[QUOTE]Its not about you. Its about the couple and their needs and desires. It is your GIFT not your contract.
Posted by adriacw[/QUOTE]

You sound so greedy. The gift should be thoughtful from the gift-giver, it should not be a demand for money from the gift-receiver! 

It is not all about YOU either.  It is a celebration of your marriage and these people are your guests, not a solicitation event where the guests are nothing more than contributers! Or did you forget about the whole 'marriage' part?