Finish?

lifeonthehill

I have 9 classes to go to get my certificate in Early Childhood Education. I am 21 and starting late do to some serious family issues we face when I graduated HS. I am only one semester in and I plan to get it done befor 2015 because we don't really have the money.

I have always wanted to be a stay at home mom and FI supports that. I want to finish this schooling so I can have a job just in case anything happens and all he see is his debt from school we already have to pay off. He has a fantastic job teaching at a private school. I dont wan to end up divorced with a child and uneducated. I feel bad having to look at the worst case scinerio when we haven't even got married yet.

Should I continue school? SHould we just get his loans payed off so we can have a great and less stressful future and hope for the best?

Thanks for letting me rant....

seddy103

As difficult as life can be financially, and believe me, I know... it will never be a bad idea to finish school. You are being very smart by thinking of all possibilities of the future. Your fianc should want to support you with no matter what you choose. Just remember, don't get too upset at his opinion, money is a very stressful topic for everyone. Good luck!

Chloeagh

Do you plan on getting a job after you finish school, or do you plan on just starting to have babies right away?

I personally am 100% for continuing education. If that's what you want to do, you should do it. You will be happy for the experience and knowledge and you will be more able to get a job if anything happens. However, if you go this route, I would highly suggest getting a job when you graduate and paying off you and your FI's debt and building up some reasonable savings before you quit your job to be a mom. Not only will this majorly help with expenses and easing your FI's mind, but with actual work experience in your field, you will have a better chance to get a job down the road when your education is possibly obsolete (sorry, I'm a science major, in a field where everything is constantly changing - I need 20 hours of continuing education every two years just to keep one of my certifications).

If you don't plan to work at all after school, or only paying off your loans and then stopping without contributing to your saving, then I definitely see your FI's side of this. School is expensive and it is, above all, an investment. College has been an amazing experience for me, but it would not be worth it to me if I was not going to receive a return on my investment. My FI is extremely concerned about finances and supporting both of us while I'm in grad school. If I wasn't going to be able to help us pay off my school debt and live comfortably after finishing, he would take major issue with me going to grad school. Plus, babies are expensive and it must be a major stressor to your FI to think about paying off debts and supporting the two of you plus any children all on his own.

So, yes, if you want to continue with your schooling, you should. But you should use that schooling to help pay off your own debts and help with household expenses and savings until you are financially secure enough to raise a family on his salary alone.

lifeonthehill

We will have no issue raising a family on his salary, not to mention the perks and beinfits that come along with the job.... thats the thing. It isn't a necessity.
I have seen so many women left stranded and I don't want that to be me ever. If my life went perfectly then I don't see a reason to go but it is just that nagging doubt.
I don't want to keep adding to the debt to not use it. We discussed me taking the semester off to save some more for our wedding and think it all over but I am afraid if I stop now I wont go back for the same reasons I am stopping now.
Thank you for responding! It is nice to have some women to talk about who arent just bashing me for reconsidering school! I have so much to think about. I am lucky to have a good man who is supporting me either way. Haha.

LizM61409

Some more what-ifs to consider: What if you can't get pregnant, or it takes several years and infertility treatments to do so? What if you become a stay at home mom only to discover that you hate it and want an outside job? What if you want or need a job when the kids are older or out of the house? It'll be really nice to have finished school in any of those events (or divorce, as you've mentioned) so that you can do what you want, presumably with higher pay, than whatever job you could find with a high school education

JemmaWRX

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_students_finish?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:684Discussion:27b0394d-1ad4-4ca3-b221-bd192b4a062aPost:2f079f20-3437-49cb-9160-4b1ba2447267">Re: Finish?</a>:
[QUOTE]Some more what-ifs to consider: What if you can't get pregnant, or it takes several years and infertility treatments to do so? What if you become a stay at home mom only to discover that you hate it and want an outside job? What if you want or need a job when the kids are older or out of the house? It'll be really nice to have finished school in any of those events (or divorce, as you've mentioned) so that you can do what you want, presumably with higher pay, than whatever job you could find with a high school education
Posted by LizM61409[/QUOTE]

^^This^^

There are a lot of things that could potentially go awray. 

Listen - being a SAHM is a lot of women's ideal.  But realistically, it's a luxury a lot of folks can't afford.  Maybe your FI can afford it now.  But have you considered the cost of raising a child?  Take day care out of the equation...  you still have diapers, formula, medical care/insurance, clothing, baby gear/toys, saving for baby's education, etc?  You're still probably looking at $10,000/year.  Take that right off your FI's salary.  When you take all that into consideration, his salary might not cut it.  Not to mention, the economy sucks.  It's conceivable he'd get laid off... You need to have your credentials in order to pull your weight, should you need to start contributing financially.

I'm not trying to be rude.  But you need to be a bit more realistic about this.  It would be a really poor decision to blow off the rest of your studies/your degree in order to start having babies.

BunnyChii

It's always good to have a back up plan. While your FI has a great job now, what if he winds up losing his job and goes through a long period of unemployment? It's happened to tons of people who didn't think it would happen to them. What if he gets a serious illness and can't work anymore? There are so many reasons why it's good to have the education to get a good paying job if for no other reason than your FI may not always be able to be the sole bread winner. 

ravenray

I would stay in school but plan to work for a few years afterwards to help pay off debt.  If you have having a hard time moneywise now, go part time and get a job.  It is good that you are thinking ahead, but it is also important to think realistically.  What if you start out being a SAHM and then your H loses his job? Now you have to go to work too.  Life happens, you can't plan for everything but you should be aware of the possibilities.  GL!

vgarlin

I am pro-eduction because an education is something that can never be taken away from you, but if you are not 100% committed then don't do it!! I've seen so many people who start college and drop-out the first year because they do not want to be there. College is hard work, and it has to be something that you truely want.

Beads921

If I were you (which of course I'm not), I would stay in school. Finish it up and get your degree as soon as you can, then go to work for a few years to pay down the debt and accumulate some savings. Then you can have your kids and stay home, knowing you've set yourself and your family up for a stable future.

PPs have mentioned tons of reasons why getting an education and some experience in your field are super important, so I won't repeat them, but just know that I agree with them and suggest you listen to them. 

CnJ2014

I agree with the above posts and support finishing school.

In addition to the "what if" situations already discussed, you may decide you just WANT to work later in life, especially when your children are older.  At 21 years old, you cannot predict what you will want to do with your life when you are 40.  Many credits do expire after several years, so you may have to start from scratch if you were decide to try again down the road (which may feel like you just wasted your time in all the courses you have already taken) and later in life it would be a lot easier to just get a job than to go back to finish school first (with a family nonetheless) and then get a job.

Finishing school will give you more options later in life, whether you use the degree or not, at least it will be there.  Your FI should see that this is not just a financial issue, this is about you not wanting to limit yourself in the future, and wanting to reach the goals you set out to reach.  You can even consider the intrinsical value of early childhood education courses, and how you might be able to apply what you learn in this program to raising a family just as well as you could have applied it to teaching.  And if his salary is plently to support a family, then it shouldn't be too much more of a financial burden if you go to a state college. 

This is only my opinion though.  I am a schoolteacher now, and I also hope I can leave my job to stay at home once my FI and I are married and have children.  But someday way down the road, when my kids are grown and I feel the itch, it's nice to know I can always go back to teaching.

I hope it all works out for you two!