Wedding Etiquette Forum
Options

Please help.

13

Re: Please help.

  • Options
    I'm wondering what her FI feels about this. Like where is he in all of this?? Shouldn't he be saying hey your brother's wedding is the next day, what is wrong with you!?! So either he is BSC as well, or she is a scary b-word that no one questions.

    There is no way my FI would stand for a second of that. He would tell me I'm being insane.

    I also kinda love the word douchecanoe.
  • Options
    I want to punch this girl in the face for you. Preferably on Thursday, November 17th.

    OP, please keep us updated, because I would really like to know what happens with this BSC bride and your FILs.
    image
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • Options
    I hope you stick around on the boards, OP! You sound like a very level-headed, nice person. 
    AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_please-16?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:01b7e7e4-742f-48a9-a497-5ea334b73f1dPost:3a40161f-9d85-454c-873b-a8dd2f9549e6">Re: Please help.</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>I want to punch this girl in the face for you.</strong> Preferably on Thursday, November 17th. OP, please keep us updated, because I would really like to know what happens with this BSC bride and your FILs.
    Posted by waltzingmatilda13[/QUOTE]

    Ditto this. She sounds catty, petty, and spiteful. Someone needs to put her in her place. Has she been like this all of her life?
    image
  • Options
    For your guests, I don't think it's a big deal at all.  I went to a Friday night wedding followed by a Saturday morning one earlier this year.  H had a hell of a hangover at the Saturday one, but that was really the only challenge for us. 

    For you, your FILs, etc., I think it sounds really tough.  Hopefully things will work out in your favor.  If they don't, my suggestions:
    * Move your rehearsal to Thursday.  She can have hers on Wednesday, or you all can skip hers. 
    * Get a DOC.  Since you'll be busy with her wedding on Friday, you're definitely going to need some help with last minute things. 
    * Try to see if your hair and makeup people, if you're having them, can come to you at a location that's convenient on Saturday morning, and order in breakfast/brunch/lunch stuff.  That way you can sleep in a little extra after the Friday festivities. 

    Good luck! 
    DIY & Planning | Married 

    Married: 2010
    Mom to J: 2011
    Mom to H: 2014

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic



    Dresses may be easier to take in than let out, but guest lists are not. -- kate51485
  • Options
    Hopefully your FILs will tell her that if she insists on having her wedding that date, they will unfortunately have to miss it due to a prior committment.

    And, if so, maybe the message will get through her thick skull and she'll realize she's being an ass.
    image
  • Options
    Well her FI hasn't had much to say. He won't even look me or B(my FI) in the eye.

    FILs are just as dumbfounded as I am. FMIL  called me this morning, she's having lunch with FSIL today and plans on talking to her about it. FSIL was apparently "anti-marriage" for the longest time, until B got engaged. I didn't know this until FMIL told me this morning. Which leads me to thinking its out of spite.

    I'll let everyone know what happens after their lunch today.
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_please-16?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:01b7e7e4-742f-48a9-a497-5ea334b73f1dPost:7d5c10e9-3f17-453c-b376-2d219d0ddcfe">Re: Please help.</a>:
    [QUOTE]Well her FI hasn't had much to say. He won't even look me or B(my FI) in the eye. FILs are just as dumbfounded as I am. FMIL  called me this morning, she's having lunch with FSIL today and plans on talking to her about it. FSIL was apparently "anti-marriage" for the longest time, until B got engaged. I didn't know this until FMIL told me this morning. Which leads me to thinking its out of spite. I'll let everyone know what happens after their lunch today.
    Posted by aniston88[/QUOTE]

    Sounds like a real winner (FSIL, not your FMIL).

    Keep us posted.  We're hoping for the best for you.
    image

    Books read in 2012: 21/50

    AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers

  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_please-16?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:01b7e7e4-742f-48a9-a497-5ea334b73f1dPost:7d5c10e9-3f17-453c-b376-2d219d0ddcfe">Re: Please help.</a>:
    [QUOTE]Well her FI hasn't had much to say. He won't even look me or B(my FI) in the eye. FILs are just as dumbfounded as I am. FMIL  called me this morning, she's having lunch with FSIL today and plans on talking to her about it.<strong> FSIL was apparently "anti-marriage" for the longest time, until B got engaged.</strong> I didn't know this until FMIL told me this morning. Which leads me to thinking its out of spite. I'll let everyone know what happens after their lunch today.
    Posted by aniston88[/QUOTE]

    Wow, what a heifer. And her FI needs to get a spine.  You are handling all of this much more gracefully than a lot of ladies would be. I'm impressed. Please stick around. I'm definitely looking forward to that post-lunch update.
  • Options
    L-BrideL-Bride member
    First Comment
    edited December 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_please-16?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:01b7e7e4-742f-48a9-a497-5ea334b73f1dPost:08780640-e046-40e8-83fa-0421e55b0cb8">Re: Please help.</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Please help. : One can only hope. Just don't let her bully you into re-arranging your plans. You started planning first and you shouldn't feel forced to change your date just because she is being so awful and unreasonable.
    Posted by salt78[/QUOTE]

    I agree with everything Salt has said.

    Don't you dare change your date to accommodate her manipulating ways. This doesn't even make sense to me. Her response is "Why is his wedding more important than mine?" Is someone explaining that it's not "more  important" there's just a little RD already planned for that day already?

    If you are going to change your date make sure it's for the 17th <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-tongue-out.gif" border="0" alt="Tongue out" title="Tongue out" />

    Get your STDs out now. Right now.
    image
  • Options
    I think she's jealous of the attention that her brother is getting and is trying to ursup it.  If that was my kid, I'd tell her either move her wedding date, or she would not only be paying for everything on her own but I'd also not be attending as I plan to be at the RD that I paid for and was planned before her shenanigans. 
    image

    If I wanted to hear the pitter-patter of little feet, I'd put shoes on the cat. image

  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_please-16?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:01b7e7e4-742f-48a9-a497-5ea334b73f1dPost:84ea076b-3cdb-4ead-b1aa-dc293991ce3e">Re: Please help.</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think she's jealous of the attention that her brother is getting and is trying to ursup it.  If that was my kid, I'd tell her either move her wedding date, or she would not only be paying for everything on her own but I'd also not be attending as I plan to be at the RD that I paid for and was planned before her shenanigans. 
    Posted by NuggetBrain[/QUOTE]


    Yeah, this bitch be crazy.  My hunch is that her parents always cave to her like this which is the reason she acts like this to begin with. 
    image

  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_please-16?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:01b7e7e4-742f-48a9-a497-5ea334b73f1dPost:7d5c10e9-3f17-453c-b376-2d219d0ddcfe">Re: Please help.</a>:
    [QUOTE]Well her FI hasn't had much to say. He won't even look me or B(my FI) in the eye. FILs are just as dumbfounded as I am. FMIL  called me this morning, she's having lunch with FSIL today and plans on talking to her about it. FSIL was apparently "anti-marriage" for the longest time, until B got engaged. I didn't know this until FMIL told me this morning. Which leads me to thinking its out of spite. I'll let everyone know what happens after their lunch today.
    Posted by aniston88[/QUOTE]

    At least FMIL is trying to talk some sense into her. I think she really just needs a good swift knock upside the head. Can't wait to hear how this meeting goes.
    image
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • Options
    I understand why you are so upset.  Honestly, by this point, I probably would have flipped out on FSIL because it is totally inconsiderate to plan her wedding this way.  So, basically you are a better person that I am.  That said:

    She should not have ordered STDs before she locked down a venue.  As you've said, your venue is already all booked up, so it's likely that other venues in the area are also booked a year in advance.  So don't panic yet.  After she looks at some venues, she may realize that she has to change her date to book the venue that she wants.  She wants to book a venue in less than a year.  While this is not an impossible task, she is still probably competing with people who booked 2 years in advance, so if she's not flexible enough, she may not get the venue she wants on the day she wants.  I"ll keep my fingers crossed that she comes to her senses on her own terms or with some arm twisting from her family.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Puppy Love
  • Options
    I couldn't even imagine doing that to my own brother--what is this girl's deal?
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • Options
    Please update after the lunch and let us know how it went! I'd be so furious if I were you, I also usually go by the 'you get one day', but WOW!

    I hope she can't fidn a venue for her date. I looked nearly a year in advance and still couldn't get the date I wanted, so if she won't listen to anyone then I hope she can't find a venue with that date open.

    And I hope it happens after she sends out her Save the Dates, so she can look stupid. Because she is. I would probably get STDs rush-ordered and send them out asap if I were you.
  • Options
    I usually just lurk on E, but I had to comment on this, because this is ridiculous!  You hear about some silly situations on TK, but this one is actually making me mad.  I hope your FMIL isn't nice to FSIL during lunch today.  Can't wait to hear an update, and hope it is in your favor.
  • Options
    OP, I agree with PPs...I hope you update us after FMILs lunch with FSIL.  I also hope you stick around :-)
    image
    Anniversary
  • Options
    I'm sorry I can't be more sympathetic to this "tragedy,"  but I am remembering the scene from Gone With the Wind where Scarlet and Melanie are married a few days apart.  The wedding guests just went from one wedding to the other, and it was a very festive and JOYOUS time. 

    It sounds like there is more going on here than just wedding dates.  Assuming there are no other issues, I would say join forces with your future sister-in-law and make it a really spectacular family celebration for after all that is really what it is. 

    My wedding was Saturday and fortunately everything was fantastic, but the best part was having my family with me after a couple of very rough years following the loss of our mother.  I really didn't care what anyone wore (my sister and I shopped for her dress and my niece's dress the day before the wedding and everyone looked great).  Just having their love and support meant everything. 

    Again, unless there are already bad feelings between the two of you and this is just another reason to be irritated, I would exploit the situation and have a really spectacular family party.  It really is a lot more fun than being the Queen for a Day anyway.
  • Options
    edited December 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_please-16?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:01b7e7e4-742f-48a9-a497-5ea334b73f1dPost:619dbd2b-5f16-4065-a096-5cff4dbc9bdb">Re: Please help.</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>I'm sorry I can't be more sympathetic to this "tragedy,</strong>"  but I am remembering the scene from Gone With the Wind where Scarlet and Melanie are married a few days apart.  The wedding guests just went from one wedding to the other, and it was a very festive and JOYOUS time.  It sounds like there is more going on here than just wedding dates.  Assuming there are no other issues, I would say join forces with your future sister-in-law and make it a really spectacular family celebration for after all that is really what it is.  My wedding was Saturday and fortunately everything was fantastic, but the best part was having my family with me after a couple of very rough years following the loss of our mother.  I really didn't care what anyone wore (my sister and I shopped for her dress and my niece's dress the day before the wedding and everyone looked great).  Just having their love and support meant everything.  Again, unless there are already bad feelings between the two of you and this is just another reason to be irritated, I would exploit the situation and have a really spectacular family party.  It really is a lot more fun than being the Queen for a Day anyway.
    Posted by Alexmom2[/QUOTE]

    <div>No one is calling it a tragedy. Just because it's not a tragedy however, doesn't mean that the OP is not justified in her feelings.  </div>
    image
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_please-16?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:01b7e7e4-742f-48a9-a497-5ea334b73f1dPost:619dbd2b-5f16-4065-a096-5cff4dbc9bdb">Re: Please help.</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm sorry I can't be more sympathetic to this "tragedy,"  but I am remembering the scene from Gone With the Wind where Scarlet and Melanie are married a few days apart.  The wedding guests just went from one wedding to the other, and it was a very festive and JOYOUS time.  It sounds like there is more going on here than just wedding dates.  Assuming there are no other issues, I would say join forces with your future sister-in-law and make it a really spectacular family celebration for after all that is really what it is.  My wedding was Saturday and fortunately everything was fantastic, but the best part was having my family with me after a couple of very rough years following the loss of our mother.  I really didn't care what anyone wore (my sister and I shopped for her dress and my niece's dress the day before the wedding and everyone looked great).  Just having their love and support meant everything.  Again, unless there are already bad feelings between the two of you and this is just another reason to be irritated, I would exploit the situation and have a really spectacular family party.  It really is a lot more fun than being the Queen for a Day anyway.
    Posted by Alexmom2[/QUOTE]


    Did you miss the part where her FI's parents would be forced to choose between BSC sister's wedding or FI's RD? And that her FI would miss his own sister's wedding because his family has already booked the RD?

    That doesn't sound like a joyous family celebration where families are joining forces. It sound like FSIL is forcing her family to choose between herself and her brother.

    You just sound like a stuck up b!tch.
  • Options
    Whoa there, Birdie. I was with you up until that last part.
  • Options
    After reading all the posts (so far) I wonder -

    Isn't the FSIL worried she'll have to miss her brother's wedding the next day? 

    (or maybe you wouldn't want her there anyway - being such an AW)

    Karma is a b!tch and she don't play nice...


  • Options
    Sorry some of the things she wrote just rubbed me the wrong way. I really feel for OP and having PP post things about how spectacular her own wedding was because all of her family was there and mocking OP's situation by calling it a "tragedy" didn't sit right with me, given OP's circumstances with her FIL's.
  • Options
    Yeah, I get the feeling she hadn't read all of the responses though, and maybe didn't get the whole picture. I didn't get an "I'm so much cooler than you because I'd make like Scarlett O'Hara" vibe out of it, just a bizarre metaphor that didn't fit.
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_please-16?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:01b7e7e4-742f-48a9-a497-5ea334b73f1dPost:df29c5df-4b61-4bec-a05f-968c3737aa5f">Re: Please help.</a>:
    [QUOTE]Whoa there, Birdie. I was with you up until that last part.
    Posted by opalsky007[/QUOTE]

    <div>Me too. I didn't get stuck up bitch from that poster.</div>
    image
  • Options
    Well maybe I'm just the b!tch then! Tongue out
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_please-16?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:01b7e7e4-742f-48a9-a497-5ea334b73f1dPost:a59d8530-af0c-4d70-8a61-7eb20f0a7d4e">Re: Please help.</a>:
    [QUOTE]Well maybe I'm just the b!tch then!
    Posted by Birdie1483[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>You can't have a dog that cute and be a bitch :)

    </div>
    image
  • Options
    Birdie, based on her previous posts, I wouldn't say stuck up, but I also wouldn't give her the benefit of the doubt like Opal did.
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_please-16?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:01b7e7e4-742f-48a9-a497-5ea334b73f1dPost:d55831ec-3529-4e8c-a4f0-0f7e6d5fc1cb">Re: Please help.</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Please help. : I was even more with her after the last part.  That entire post smacked of smug self-righteousness.
    Posted by NuggetBrain[/QUOTE]

    Yep.
    image
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards