Vegan wedding! Yikes!

emeejeeayen

Late to the game, but I'm vegetarian and my family is vegan. There are so many vegan food options out there that I feel like PP saying a vegan dessert reception is rude are cray cray. 

reppunzel

Wow.  Between some of the replies here and the post/discussion on how "rude" dry receptions are, apparently brides aren't the only ones who get entitlement complexes.

OP, your reception plan sounds delightful and I would thoroughly enjoy it (my personal omnivorism notwithstanding).  I did a week-long midwife assistant training that included meals, and it was halfway through the week before I realized they were vegan (I knew they would be vegetarian, vegan was a new concept to me).  Some of the best  tamales I've ever eaten! 

melb2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_vegan-wedding-yikes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:072c9a05-2083-4530-be36-f20f7acd85c0Post:51ea9692-214c-487f-aa66-59481742202f">Re: Vegan wedding! Yikes!</a>:
[QUOTE]Just a question-if all that is being offered is a dessert reception due to morals, I hope you didn't register for anything over $10.00.  I have had to read up on wedding items, and it is customary to give a gift that equals the meal that is served.  I have morals about food as well, but this wedding is not for me, it is for the guests, and they should be respected and thanked adequately for sharing the day with you.
Posted by antibride2013[/QUOTE]

<div>This is my number one biggest pet peeve.  You do not give a wedding present based on how much the bride and groom chose to spend.  They chose to spend that money- it was not my choice.  This is not a concert where you buy tickets- there is no price of admission to a wedding.</div><div>
</div><div>I give the same amount to a couple who spent $1,000 on their wedding as I do to a couple who spent $100,000 on their wedding.  I gave them a present because they GOT MARRIED, not because of the type of wedding they had.</div><div>
</div><div>OP, your plan sounds great.  We seriously considered having a similar type of reception, although not all vegan.  I see nothing wrong with serving all vegan foods, especially for apps/dessert.  Go for it.</div>

GardenMaven

FI and I consume meat.  When I was in High School I went to a family firend's wedding that was vegetarian.  I didn't know how that was going to turn out, because I didn't have a lot of experience with non-meat dishes and I can't eat bell peppers.  Guess what?  It was fine.  I lived and the food was really good.

Since then (I am 29 now) I have done my own vegetarian AND vegan cooking.  Even FI has no problem with consuming no meat on occasion.  I have had vegan desserts as well, and they were all good.  Sometimes people just need to experience something to see that it's not what they thought.  

OP- Maybe your wedding will help your families see that veganism isn't all about carrots and lettuce and that there are a host of things you can eat and enjoy!

AJuliaNJ

I'm vegetarian, but my fiance is not. I would have liked a vegetarian wedding, but acquiesced to having meat options. My one demand was that they have one appetizing and complete vegetarian choice that would be on the menu (not a plate of mixed grilled vegetables or spaghetti with plain sauce and not an afterthought you had to specifically request).

I always thought I would eliminate meat from my wedding. My feeling is that people could just not eat meat for one night. I can't even begin to understand why that would be a problem. I saw someone on this thread say people would leave early. And another person that said you will alienate your guests. Really??? Do people really eat meat at home every single night anyway? There are plenty of vegan options that meat-eaters eat. What about pasta? Or risotto? dinner salad? eggplant? portobello mushrooms? Seriously, it's just one night, and I think anyone who knows you will not be surprised there is no meat.

lyndausvi

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_vegan-wedding-yikes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:072c9a05-2083-4530-be36-f20f7acd85c0Post:9d336042-ad74-4d7d-b273-19cad7aa6c8e">Re: Vegan wedding! Yikes!</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm vegetarian, but my fiance is not. I would have liked a vegetarian wedding, but acquiesced to having meat options. My one demand was that they have one appetizing and complete vegetarian choice that would be on the menu (not a plate of mixed grilled vegetables or spaghetti with plain sauce and not an afterthought you had to specifically request). I always thought I would eliminate meat from my wedding. My feeling is that people could just not eat meat for one night. I can't even begin to understand why that would be a problem. I saw someone on this thread say people would leave early. And another person that said you will alienate your guests. Really???<strong> Do people really eat meat at home every single night anyway?</strong> There are plenty of vegan options that meat-eaters eat. What about pasta? Or risotto? dinner salad? eggplant? portobello mushrooms? Seriously, it's just one night, and I think anyone who knows you will not be surprised there is no meat.
Posted by AndreaJulia[/QUOTE]

Yep.  

 My mom wakes up and has a soft boiled egg and toast. Lunch is normally a hot dog, tuna fish or leftovers. Dinner is meat, potato and vegetables.

When we grew up the only non-meat dinner was pizza night on Fridays. Even during Lent Fridays were either pizza (without meat) or fish.   Even pasta night was made with a meat sauce or meatballs.

Not saying that I eat that way now.  But that is the way I grew up and my parents still eat like that.      I can honestly say I've never had a full blown vegan meal.   Vegetarian, yes.  But I like butter, milk, cheese too much not to have at least some sort of dairy in my meal. Not that I would not eat a vegan meal if it was given to me at a party I just have no desire to make or order one on my own.

orangehills

OP- I think a dessert/app reception is just fine! And the sorbet ice cream station sounds awesome- have some fruit to top it with... yum. If you wanted a bit of a heavier app food, maybe have a little vegan pasta station along with some apps and the desserts, that would fill most people up along with drinks. I think afternoon would be better for this- but if you get a sense that night time would be better from your friends and family, go for that. Either would work. Not everyone will be happy with your food choice- but as long as you provide options, and let people know the ingredients for allergies, that's what you can do. You can't make everyone happy- I'm not and I'm hosting a full dinner at a restaurant. Thus is weddings! The reception is to thank your guests, and you are, you are providing them with food- maybe it's not their favorite, but what can you do? Do I get pizza and ice cream at every wedding I go to because it's what I like? No, but I eat what's offered if I can, if I don't like it- I eat when I get home. Good luck!

EDIT: I also wouldn't put anything up anywhere about it being vegan- just the allergy info.

Simply Fated

"Do people really eat meat at home every single night anyway?" Yep. My boyfriend and his family. Even their pasta is always served with meat sauce.

renegade gaucho

I was taught that when you're a guest at a meal hosted by someone else, you be polite and eat what is served without complaining and thank the host for the lovely meal.

If OP had said she couldn't afford to feed her guests any of the meat options and asked if it was okay to serve a meatless pasta instead, people would have told her that was perfectly acceptable.  But mention the word vegan and people lose their $hit.  It's laughably ignorant.

SmollenLove

Don't listen to the haters! Of course you would have a vegan wedding if you are a vegan. Just the same as a meat-eater serving meat. I had a vegan wedding and our caterer wasn't experienced in vegan meals so we gave him recipes from online that he followed and it was OK. PLEASE come to www.rosepedalsveganweddings.com and find the thousands of other vegan brides because we have some awesome idea-sharing and resource-sharing going on! (There are some posts by an Amber Shea about vegan wedding planning in Kansas City that might help.)

QueerFemme

I haven't read ALL of the comments, and I was totally on board with OP not having meat products and hosting a dessert reception or just having pasta as the meal choice.  But, I do now sort of side-eye the fact that her FI is NOT a vegan. 

If you can and do serve meat in your own home, how come you can't serve it at your wedding reception?  Just curious why the wedding is the day you lay the vegan hammer down.

Edited for clarity.

dtbluv

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_vegan-wedding-yikes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:072c9a05-2083-4530-be36-f20f7acd85c0Post:9d336042-ad74-4d7d-b273-19cad7aa6c8e">Re: Vegan wedding! Yikes!</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm vegetarian, but my fiance is not. I would have liked a vegetarian wedding, but acquiesced to having meat options. My one demand was that they have one appetizing and complete vegetarian choice that would be on the menu (not a plate of mixed grilled vegetables or spaghetti with plain sauce and not an afterthought you had to specifically request). I always thought I would eliminate meat from my wedding. My feeling is that people could just not eat meat for one night. I can't even begin to understand why that would be a problem. I saw someone on this thread say people would leave early. And another person that said you will alienate your guests. Really??? <strong>Do people really eat meat at home every single night anyway?</strong> There are plenty of vegan options that meat-eaters eat. What about pasta? Or risotto? dinner salad? eggplant? portobello mushrooms? Seriously, it's just one night, and I think anyone who knows you will not be surprised there is no meat.
Posted by AndreaJulia[/QUOTE]

To the bolded part:  Yes.  My dad is on a very limited-carb diet right now, so instead of pasta or rice or potatoes he has a huge helping of meat plus whatever vegetables I make him.  My grandma also eats meat every day, although for her I think it's more of a weird status thing.  She talks about how when she was growing up her family was well off and got "3 meat meals a day" and she has also mentioned that when all of her kids were little they didn't have a ton of money and only had meat one meal a day, sometimes none.  I think it may be an age/regional culture thing that being able to afford meat is a kind of status symbol, so looking at it from that angle it makes sense why a lot of older people don't "get" vegetarianism, in the same way that some people don't understand why you would eschew something you could buy, but don't.  The reasons make sense to you, but not to them.

That said, I think a vegan reception, especially a dessert/appetizer reception is absolutely fine.  

Deneigelovescats

Ladies! The dinner provided at the reception is ONE meal in your entire life!! A vegan dessert/appetizer reception would go unnoticed and I'm sure be delicious provided you find an adequate caterer! I'm vegan & my fiance is not, he considers himself 80% vegan as I cook & don't prepare anything non-vegan. If he felt he needed meat he could cook it himself and I would have no problem with that. (We've been together four years & he has NEVER brought meat into our home, his choice! He loves my cooking!!) I'm also a vegan baker & have friends in conventional pastry school who beg me to bring them my cookies & cupcakes. I have a dear friend getting married next month & she is having a vegetarian option that is not vegan. I told her that she can save herself the cost of the meal that would go to waste & I'll just eat the salad & bread! I may even sneak a granola bar into my purse. I'll eat a large meal beforehand, not my ideal situation but not MY wedding! So my advice to all of these PPs who can't imagine one meal without meat or dairy...stick a steak in your purse and move on.  

P.S. some proposals for caterers not familiar with veganism...
-Mexican food! Bean enchiladas sans cheese & sour cream, guacamole, bean tacos, chips & salsa, corn tamales, grilled corn
-Pasta primavera! Garlic bread made with olive oil, grilled asparagus, fresh salad with vinaigerette, bruschetta with white bean tapenade