Vegetarian/no alcohol

karenttrouble

I would love to attend either because I'm a vegan and pretty much never drink. 

amandasw

I think it's selfish to invite people to watch a ceremony that in no way involves them, and then to cut out (or diminish) the part where they actually get to celebrate with youagain, that's sad. and confusing. do you only do things where you can be involved? or have an alcoholic incentive?

fangsiting

I was 24 or 25 before I went to a wedding that served alcohol & wasn't vegetarian.  In the church I grew up in, a wedding consisted of a long service with a full sermon about women submitting to men followed by cake and punch in the church basement.  Then everyone went home. 

karenttrouble

BTW, I can't believe we're having this conversation AGAIN.  Let me sum up what the conclusion always is: Some people on this board eat veg exclusively or frequently and see no problem with having a vegetarian wedding. Some people on this board would die if they ate a meal without meat.  To them, serving a vegetarian meal is the same as not serving food at all, which would be bad etiquette. Some people on the board don't understand moral conviction and can't understand why a couple wouldn't include something they're morally opposed to at their wedding.  A vegetarian diet is not like following the Atkins diet or being a picky eater.

karenttrouble

Fang, what church was it?  LDS?

kissybee

Haha, no Amanda I don't.  But I'm of the mindset that your wedding ceases to be "your day" when you invite a bunch of people to it.  If you're going to have a public wedding, then you need to set it up for your guest's comfort.  If you know your guests will expect alcohol, then it needs to be there.  Squeeze the money out of something else, have a split bar, do what you have to do so that your guests enjoy themselves.I get a bit tired of people saying "invite everyone you want and serve what you can afford, it's your day and people will be so happy to watch you get married that the rest doesn't matter." 

fangsiting

Presbyterian PCA

kissybee

Ooh Fang, that doesn't sound like fun.

amandasw

I get a bit tired of people saying "invite everyone you want and serve what you can afford, it's your day and people will be so happy to watch you get married that the rest doesn't matter."ok, I mean, I totally agree with that. I think it's silly for vegetarians to argue they can't (won't) serve meat at a reception simply because, well, it's already dead, you aren't cooking it and what if everyone there but you would enjoy it? I understand not wanting to make or eat it yourself, but really, come off it. Sometimes (notice, I said "sometimes") they can give the impression of being superior.And I get that lots of people like alcohol at weddings, but it bugs me a little when people say they can't enjoy a wedding without it. There are alcoholics in my family so I'm sensitive to that notion. Otherwise, yes, I get that people want alochol to have fun.

lyndausvi

really? fang... Not sure why I'm suprised. I went to my first wedding when I was 5.  It had alcohol and meat. 35 years and about 30+ weddings later I still have not been to a veggie wedding or a dry wedding.   Although I have been to weddings of vegetarians, alcoholics or just plainly did not drink.So I guess my 'passion' on the subject is I've always taken care of my guests and they have taken care of me.

punkyb2b

Karentrouble- it had nothing to do with why people are veg.  What you stated was restated in a post below.  I dont find it a big deal and am amazed that others think its so bad to not serve meat but are ok with no alcohol.  I dont get it.  Thought  I'd see if the people who would consider no meat as rude would prefer to have alcohol if it came down to the two.  It was interesting.

fangsiting

"well, it's already dead"It's already dead, because you ordered it that way and paid someone to kill the animal....unless you are serving roadkill at your wedding. 

amandasw

"well, it's already dead"It's already dead, because you ordered it that way and paid someone to kill the animal....unless you are serving roadkill at your wedding.I'm being sarcastic...  also, I never said this, but I wouldn't really care if there was no meat at a reception.  I've just had vegetarians get super aggressive about it and I'm thinking "hey, you're in the minority here and it's a huge industry. Don't think not having meat at your wedding/party/whatever is going to make a huge difference"

fangsiting

Lynda, it wasn't seen as rude.  Boring, but not rude.  Usually only family, if anyone, came from out of town and the family would eat together after the wedding, but it would be separate from the wedding.  Guests certainly didn't expect more than cake and maybe a bag of jordan almonds to take home with them.   I saw big parties thrown for weddings in movies, but I didn't know they happened in real life.  Every little bit helps, Amanda.

ricksang

No alcohol! I would not say I would be offended though, just bummed.

lyndausvi

fang - I wasn't trying to imply it's rude.  Most people's expectations come from past experiences. I  was just expressing mine.  I might be disappointed if I was missing something, but I would stop short of saving it was rude.Wedding seem to bring out how different we all celebrate.  Especially those people are from different regions, cultures, economic status, religions, etc. Some people have compromise a little more than others if the difference are way different.

mliberty

I wouldn't be "offended" by either one... I would just leave. Then I would go out for a steak, and since I'd already be my sassy wedding duds I'd go out on the town and have all the drinks I want. Its your day, so you need to do what makes you happy and what you are comfortable with. As long as you understand that other guests might not be comfortable, and would not want to stay, then that is your prerogative. Just a thought though, I would be sure to tell my guests ahead of time about the particular restrictions (dry wedding or vegetarian), so that they are not disappointed when they get there expecting prime rib and wine. At least if your guests know about it, they can maybe grab a burger on the way if they just gotta have their meat, or they can call up some friends to plan an outing at a local bar when the reception is over.

nooniesinlove

I eat almost no cooked fruits or veggies, and I eat a relatively restricted amount of raw veggies.  A no-meat wedding would be pretty difficult for me unless a non-veggie-laden pasta was being served.Although, I am supremely good at picking out veggies, so I probably wouldn't waste away.Flame me all you want about growing up and eating what's good for me, but I'm not just being stubborn.  Most cooked fruits and veggies honestly make me want to vomit after I eat them.  Trust me, there's not many things in the world that I would like more than to be able to enjoy than a few lovely slices of tomato on my sub!If I went to a vegetarian couple's wedding whose whole family and many friends were also vegetarian, I probably would not expect meat at the reception.  Likewise, if I attended the wedding of a dry couple who come from a dry family and have lots of friends who don't really drink, I wouldn't expect alcohol.