P&E opinions-Effin long

tidetravel

If your parents are covering the rest of the costs, the wedding should be a seperate consideration. The fact is that the money that you are down is because of a legitimate expense, and they come up all the time.  You need to take a hard look at your budget and be serious about not spending anything extra until the work situation improves.  I would tell him, though, that until you get your job that the "extra" expenses like an ATV for hunting and walkie talkies won't be getting spent.

aMrsin09

How is getting married preventing you from working a ful time job?

SwedishChick2011

well if the wedding is pretty much paid for then getting married in Oct or March is not going change your living expenses. They are what they are, married or not. Yeah, I'm really confused as to how getting married in March will help with the living expenses issue.  You still have to pay living expenses whether married or single. 

mwhitson14

I can't work now because I'm student teaching, basically being a teacher for free. I'll be done with that December 12, and can start my job on December 14.

[Deleted User]

Besides, you might get some money as a wedding gift that would help you until DecemberThis is very true. 

C W

You said pushing the wedding back would mean you could work full time - why can't you work full time and still have your wedding in Oct?

Kati0105

Ditto the pp who hinted at getting money at the wedding.  I know it's frowned upon to hope to get a lot of cash, but depending on your family and friends you may walk away with a couple extra grand that could help to cover living expenses through the end of the year.  I wouldn't push it back if I were you - but if you do we'll be date twins so that would be fun!

C W

Sorry, I was typing when you posted. Can't you get a part time job to help out more?

crfische

Why cna' tyou work full time now?

aerinpegadrak

I love you, whits, but I think we need a flowchart.  I'm terribly confused.

jilybeans4

I'm confused why moving the wedding back would make you able to work full time and contribute to those bills instead of using savings. Are you NOT working full time to plan your wedding? Because if that is the case, could you just work full time AND plan the wedding? Thats what I'm doing, and its no big deal.... If you mean working full time after Jan 1st then that makes more sense. Also, you  can't totally COUNT ON wedding gifts, but if you are only 500-600 short right now, do you realistically think you may get that much in wedding gifts?

kristinanddan

Wait, now I'm confused...why can't you work now but could if you weren't getting married?I'm confused by this as well.

mwhitson14

I already have two part time jobs. I work after school for about 3 hours, til 6. I work 12 hours on Sat/Sun.

crfische

Sorry, Whits. i'm not following. You are student teaching now. Your wedding is paid for by your parents, so no money needed. So how does pushing back the wedding that you say won't cost you any more money impact your financial situation?

dukeylouise

I don't understand how your wedding has anything to do with your money situation.  It sounds like either way you only have your savings to live off of, regardless of whether you get married or not.

MsGamblingGirl

Why don't you  just live with your parents together after you get married if "start up costs" are the problem?

agk0125

Pushing the wedding back would mean me being able to work full timeI'm also confused about this.I would have the wedding as planned. Heck, hopefully you'll get a bunch of cash from it! That would help!

mwhitson14

I am basically working full time now, but it's for free. I'm in school every M-F, 8-3. I work 3-6 M-F, 12 hours at two jobs Sat/Sun. Student teaching ends Dec 12. I can start working full time Dec 14 and actually start helping to cover living expenses, not just make my bills alone.

tidetravel

Why can't you take the Dec 14th job now, if it's available, and just stop student teaching?  And if it's not, how does that change anything if you push the wedding back?

katiewhompus

Ok, I think I see now.Right now you and your fi are living with your parents, so you don't have expenses for rent, food, utilities, etc. The part time job you have now covers your half of the bills you have (assumably credit card and gas and things like that) and the same for your fi.Once you get married you are going to be living together and have to pay the additional rent, food, utilities, etc, and you are worried your current jobs won't cover it.By waiting until March you can live with your parents longer and thus have less bills.Am I anywhere close?

ac_in_dc

Wait...so is *this* the problem? Regardless of when you get married, you start full-time teaching in Dec/Jan. Getting married early is more expensive b/c you'll move out from your parents houses.  

HDutko

I think you should do the weddingin October since your saying that it's already paid for. I definately agree that you might get money from the wedding that will help with the expenses until you are able to work. I am however confused as to how you would be able to work if you weren't getting married if your stundent teaching?

mwhitson14

So how does pushing back the wedding that you say won't cost you any more money impact your financial situation?Because right now, I can't work. I can't contribute to living expenses, rent, whatever at all. Pushing it back to next year would mean me being able to have a full time job to help contribute to living expenses. FI is concerned that without it, we won't be able to make ends meet.His parents have offered us their place til December, that's the solution I'm trying to push.

vallyhoo

I'm jumping in randomly, but is a full-time paid position guaranteed in December? I know that is when you can start working, but what if there are no jobs? Just curious.

Kati0105

Why don't you just live with your parents together after you get married if "start up costs" are the problem?I never thought I'd say this, but I'm going to have to agree with Gambling.

SwedishChick2011

OK, I'm gathering that the problem is you feel that you won't be able to afford living expenses together since you are both living with your parents.  Right?  If this is the case, why don't you sit down with the parents and talk this through.  Maybe they'd be willing to help you out financially, or like a pp said, even live with one set of parents for a few months. 

mwhitson14

Right now you and your fi are living with your parents, so you don't have expenses for rent, food, utilities, etc. The part time job you have now covers your half of the bills you have (assumably credit card and gas and things like that) and the same for your fi.Once you get married you are going to be living together and have to pay the additional rent, food, utilities, etc, and you are worried your current jobs won't cover it.Exactly! I just want to add current savings to that.I can't stop student teaching I won't graduate if I don't.

aerinpegadrak

His parents have offered us their place til December, that's the solution I'm trying to push.If I'm following this properly (still not entirely sure I am), that sounds like the best solution.  As others have said, any cash gifts you get from the wedding can go to help cover your expenses and can maybe get you your own apartment a little earlier.

crfische

Yeah, i still do'nt get it. Do you mean after you get married, you are moving out and will acquire living expenses?  

ac_in_dc

Sounds like your FI wants to be careful financially, which is smart. How does he feel about you guys living at his parents' house for a few months? It's not ideal, but it will get the job done. Also, will you be subbing or teaching full time in Dec/Jan? If you're subbing, maybe wait to have the wedding 'til spring b/c that's less stressful than student teaching. If it's a FT position, I'd get married in the fall, b/c 1st year teaching is really time-consuming.